Two conflicting reports re: babies/toddlers sitting in wet diapers for a long time

PurpleScorpion

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When perusing various parenting sites and the like, I saw two separate pieces of advice with regard to potty training prep through the act of diaper changing:

1. "You should let your baby/toddler sit in a wet diaper for a little bit-obviously not long enough to get a rash, but long enough that they can feel the wetness. That way, when potty training starts, they're more aware of how wetness feels than if you had changed them as soon as they wet and thus they were always dry."

2. "Change your baby/toddler immediately after they wet their diaper. If they sit in wet diapers too long, they'll start to like the feeling, and potty training them will be a nightmare! If they never really feel wet, having an accident will come as a shock to them and make them not wanna have any more of them."

Any parents, aunts/uncles, grandparents, etc. on here wanna weigh in on which of the two is more correct?
 
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Obligatory “Not a parent, but” statement

My experience with my nieces and nephews has been more dependent on the temperament of the kid than anything else. Some were very aware and ready to go around 2, a few others took a decent bit longer, I don’t know if I would correlate it with either of the above though.

That being said, my sisters first kid was 150% easier to potty train than my sisters now third kid, and she definitely changed the first kid far sooner but that was also her first and only at the time so she had that new parent anxiety.
 
Like most things on the internet, you should take this with a grain of salt. Every child is different with potty training. We let our son take his time and when he was ready, it was easy peasy.
 
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I'm a parent of two. They're both in high school now, but I remember their diaper years well enough.

I'd be skeptical of advice based on "feeling wet" unless you're using cloth diapers, and even then it's unlikely to hold true for every child. Wife and I cloth-diapered our kids, initially full-time and later just around the house. I wouldn't say that feeling wet, or the level of urgency given to changing their diapers, had much of an effect on potty training. I really think the biggest thing was just having role models who used the toilet.

Our oldest (daughter) had as a role model an older girl that my wife used to nanny during the day. Our youngest (son) had as a role model his older sister. For both of them, seeing an older child using the toilet clearly had a major influence. Our daughter was done with diapers, day and night, at 20 months. She required no encouragement. Our son took a bit longer, but not for lack of interest. He really wanted to be like his older sister, but was very accident-prone. Physically, he just needed a little more time, and was a poster child for training pants.

Kids are natural born imitators. I mostly think that if you want a kid to do something, you model it somehow. If your kid's never seen you or another kid using the toilet, and you push them to use it, their brain's probably going, "But why? Why am I being singled out?" We're a culture of intense privacy when it comes to bathroom stuff these days, but when you're trying to teach kids, who naturally learn by example, how to use the bathroom, going in and immediately closing the door behind you is counterproductive. I really think that's where a lot of parents screw up: They make bathroom stuff a mystery.

Anyway... There's one parent's opinion. :)
 
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I'm not a parent, but I don't think those two would be the best options to have a kid get potty trained. Especially if you're factoring in if the kid is incontinent or has special needs. Not everything can work for the kid, so I suppose you just know what's best for your kid instead of having them rush their potty training so quickly. If you're doing it to brag about how fast your kid went through being a "big kid", then it's not helping the kid in any way because they don't understand the social pressure coming from adults. There's also the effect of potty training regression, which can happen if you have them do it harshly.
 
Every kid is different like a PP said. Potty training is about physical readiness and emotional readiness, and without both, there will not be success. I think for a lot of kids, the physical side (such as staying dry for longer periods, or being aware of the need to pee/poop) comes earlier, but they still have to *want* to do it.

Some kids will respond well to wetness, which is why some training methods say to put a child into cotton underwear, or have them go naked. I get the idea - diapers these days -even cloth -are very absorbent, so it's hard for a child to feel the wetness, much less see it. The minute they pee and it starts running down their leg, or they are running around naked and see themselves pee, the hope is that a lightbulb will go off and they will make the correlation to use the potty. It works for some kids, not all. Some will not even flinch or react any differently. Others will be so bothered by it that it acts to set them back in training.

There's no one perfect method that works on every child, because like adults, they have their own personalities too. Unfortunately, you don't really know what your child is going to do until you get into training.
 
If I changed right away after wetting my diapers I would go through about 8 to 10 diapers. I change usually3-4 times of the day. So yes from time to time I normally sit and wear wet diapers for a while. Before I change my diapers.
 
Neither of the two points of view in the original post make sense to me because it's hard to even feel when disposal diapers are wet until they're very wet. Like, personally, even when I'm wearing a thinner diaper and even being in control of my bladder I usually have no idea whether I'm dry or slightly wet 20 minutes after changing and I would have to take off my diaper and look at it or smell it to try to figure it out. So I don't think it's going to make any difference whether you change your baby's disposal diapers immediately after wetting or not.

On the other hand I guess I can understand the logic of wanting to try to switch to normal underwear or the pull-ups that are designed to feel cold when wet in some situations because then the kid can at least notice that they've peed, but only really if the kid is ready to be potty trained and telling that they've peed is a problem (if the kid isn't ready then making them wear normal underwear just so they feel the sensation of wetness seems shitty).
 
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