Trying to adjust to the fact that my family knows

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gnd567

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It's been a couple of months since my dad confronted me on finding my diapers. He said it was the second time he had found them. He didn't get angry but he did seem concerned. I was so freaked out and embarrassed by all of this that I basically just said "I'm fine" and quickly left, pretending I had something to do. I'm sure he told my mom and sister because nobody keeps their mouths shut around here.

Anyway, since then, nobody has mentioned it but sometimes when I'm talking to him about something, I can almost swear he's looking at my crotch to see if I'm wearing. Also, I've noticed he tries to avoid my room at all costs now (which I guess I don't mind so much.) It took me almost 3 weeks before I felt the desire to wear any of them and the first 2 or 3 times after that I was very paranoid. But I'm now starting to get over it a bit.

I've been wearing almost 24/7 for the past 3 and 1/2 weeks (for #1 only) and my life has improved vastly because of it. I've lost weight, gotten off of all my anxiety meds, cut way back on my drinking and work has been going great lately. I want to keep this up but I have to order a new case of diapers soon and I am not looking forward to the devilry because I just know somebody's going to say something.

I'm starting to get panicked again because I want my diapers but I don't want any trouble.
 

Crinklebuttt

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I'm pretty sure many of my close family and friends know about the same as yours do, the general theory is that it's medically or drug related which worries them, but even though it's not it's still none of their business. I'm happy I recently told my brother the truth, maybe there is someone close you can tell and feel better?
 

gnd567

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I'm pretty sure many of my close family and friends know about the same as yours do, the general theory is that it's medically or drug related which worries them, but even though it's not it's still none of their business. I'm happy I recently told my brother the truth, maybe there is someone close you can tell and feel better?
I wish there was. It would feel good to get it off my chest. But I don't have anyone close I could tel that I would trust. I kind of have trust issues due to bad experiences in my childhood.
 

dogboy

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I think I would order them, and if they ask you about the package, I would tell them what you have told us, how by wearing, you feel much better. I think they would understand and accept that it's a good trade off.
 

soupy

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I would have to agree with dogboy here. Place the order. Your family has probably noticed the improvement in your life and do you think anything in the world could make them happier than seeing that? Now if you really want to avoid any confrontations or general awkwardness you could always have your order shipped to a Fed-Ex store and pick it up when you have time to privately and discretely drag a large box though your house.
 

gnd567

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I would have to agree with dogboy here. Place the order. Your family has probably noticed the improvement in your life and do you think anything in the world could make them happier than seeing that? Now if you really want to avoid any confrontations or general awkwardness you could always have your order shipped to a Fed-Ex store and pick it up when you have time to privately and discretely drag a large box though your house.

I'm going to order them. I'll just have to deal with it I guess. Can't have it delivered anywhere else because I can't drive so it will have to be at my house.
 

Cloud

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I would also have to add that your discomfort, paranoia, and initial purge from wearing, all sound like very common and normal results from being exposed by people you'd rather not share your secrets with. With that said, I'm glad you're wearing again if they help you with your anxiety. I too suffer from anxiety, and expressing myself by wearing diapers has helped tremendously. You have the right to treat your anxiety with whatever works, and diapers are no exception. You do still live under your parents' roof, so be respectful of that, but that may be easier now that your Father won't go snooping.

My biggest piece of advice is to do your best to act casual, confident, and normal. No one will worry about you if you seem happy and healthy, but the diaper will take the blame of whenever you seem glum or depressed. Whatever you are "struggling with" will automatically be the diapers. Excel in life, work hard in whatever you do, and no one can say anything to you.
 

gnd567

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Ok. So I did it. I ordered them. Now I am totally stressing out! I want them but I feel so guilty for wanting them. Especially since it's not really a secret anymore. And there is no playing it off as a medical thing because I really only like AB printed ones. I'm just em arrested and feel like a fool. I can't sleep and can't stop crying because people know. I almost want to cancel my order. I shouldn't have ordered so many. I'm sorry if I'm rambling but I'm scared and humiliated all at the same time. I wish people understood why I like diapers. I wish I did.
 

bambinod

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It sounds like diapers have been extremely therapeutic and benefitial for you, with the weight loss and anxiety improvements, I don't see anything to be ashamed about? I'm a very practical person though, I do what need to be done, and try not to have regrets over any of it. I'd suggest you try to do the same.

It's no different than say, wearing glasses. I remember I got mine in 2nd grade. I was terrified to be seen wearing them, but I couldn't read well without them, so every now and then when I needed them I'd quietly slip them out of their case and put them on while I worked, and put them away sa soon as I was done. I remember a few kids hassling me, as immature kids will do. But that was quickly forgotten by all, and within a week I had them on all the time, and life was much better for me.

If it works for you, and it's nobody else's business, just do it.
 

Cottontail

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Work going well is a very, very good thing, because therein lies the ultimate solution: Being out on your own. And not simply to get away from your family's scrutiny (that seldom actually happens anyway), but because there's no better way to convince them that diapers are harmless than to prove it. Step into their muggle shoes for a minute and just appreciate things from a parent's angle: Diapers are such a symbol of child-parent dependence that it's easy to see how they might become magnets for blame, especially if there are other life challenges surrounding them. As you rise up and conquer those challenges, your diaper habit will, in your dad's eyes, be steadily whittled down to a harmless (if still rather awkward) quirk.

Diapers are as diapers do. (Doo.)

Plus--and maybe this seems a little silly, but...: What other interactions do you have with your dad? Do you hang out at all? Do stuff together? Or is he simply the guy who owns the house you live in? I ask, because there's another angle to play, and that's to just give your dad other ways to interact with you. Because when the only interactions two people have are things like, "I went to get something out of that closet and found diapers in it...", well...yeah, that's no good, because you're both going to be defining the other by extrapolating from a relatively few (negative) things. Tomorrow's Father's Day. Take your dad out to breakfast, and plan to have some productive Q&A--not about diapers, but about other things going on in your lives. Who knows?

But in very short: Tiny "bad" (strange) things are easily amplified by the wider circumstances. And, a lot of times, you'll enjoy far more success by chipping away at those wider circumstances than you will by arguing the merits of that tiny "bad" (strange) thing.

---

In the meantime, though, try to calm down about your diaper order. If, as you say, wearing diapers has helped you, then take a deep breath............................................ and realize that you've got some great things to say if your dad expresses concern. You might not go so far as to pin your successes on wearing diapers, but you can certainly take an oblique approach, like: "Yes, I have this quirk. It's embarrassing to talk about, and I am trying to keep it private. I find that trying to suppress it causes me to become preoccupied and hurts other aspects of my life, and I've been doing a lot better lately since I've accepted it. I know it's confusing to you, but it's been a part of me for a long time, and it'll help me a lot if I can just stop worrying about it and move on. I'm sure you'll agree that there are better things for me to be worrying about!" Or something like that. Just be humble and honest.
 
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gnd567

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What other interactions do you have with your dad? Do you hang out at all? Do stuff together? Or is he simply the guy who owns the house you live in? I ask, because there's another angle to play, and that's to just give your dad other ways to interact with you. Because when the only interactions two people have are things like, "I went to get something out of that closet and found diapers in it...", well...yeah, that's no good, because you're both going to be defining the other by extrapolating from a relatively few (negative) things. Tomorrow's Father's Day. Take your dad out to breakfast, and plan to have some productive Q&A--not about diapers, but about other things going on in your lives. Who knows?
This right here probably plays a lot into why it's got me so stressed. We've always been very close and I don't want that to change because of my diaper wearing. At the same time, I'm also quite private and shy when it comes to discussing personal matters with others (including family) and feel that since I've kept it a secret for over 20 years that he and others may think "What ELSE has he been hiding from us?" I don't want to be thought of differenly (I'm already eccentric enough as is.) He's quite old-school when it comes to some things. I just don't want to be confused for some sort of pervert or something.
 

SailingWolfPup

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If it is upsetting you. You should tell them. I know it's scary as heck to do. In fact, just a few weeks ago I told my family. This was because my vision has gone down again and I can't count on seeing something laying out that they will. Anyways, you'll be surprised at how they will react. Especially if you tell them why you are wearing and the positive effects wearing has given you. I know it's terrifying but you will feel much better. For instance, when I told my mother it took me awhile because I was in tears, but instead of yelling at me which I had braced myself for (for weeks I might add), she hugged me and said "Why have you tortured yourself?!" My dad was much the same way. Granted he didn't tear up like mom did. Anyways, I'm telling you this, because I hope it will help you understand how much your family cares about you. And, how much they are willing to support you. Even when you'd swear they wouldn't. I sincerely hope this helps.
 

gnd567

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If it is upsetting you. You should tell them. I know it's scary as heck to do. In fact, just a few weeks ago I told my family. This was because my vision has gone down again and I can't count on seeing something laying out that they will. Anyways, you'll be surprised at how they will react. Especially if you tell them why you are wearing and the positive effects wearing has given you. I know it's terrifying but you will feel much better. For instance, when I told my mother it took me awhile because I was in tears, but instead of yelling at me which I had braced myself for (for weeks I might add), she hugged me and said "Why have you tortured yourself?!" My dad was much the same way. Granted he didn't tear up like mom did. Anyways, I'm telling you this, because I hope it will help you understand how much your family cares about you. And, how much they are willing to support you. Even when you'd swear they wouldn't. I sincerely hope this helps.
Thanks. One of the reasons I got caught (and still live at home in the first place) is because I of what you feared- that you wouldn't see that you left something out. I too have vision problems and wasn't aware that a diaper was peeking from under my bed. I'm going to have to say something this time for sure. It's just that I never thought this would happen and if it did that I would be a lot less worried about it than I am now.
 

siysiy

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Hi

I am going to be coming from a father point of view.

I know if I had found my sons diapers. and I did not know why, I would be worry out of my head. Paddy and I are very close and he know about me being a little, and he is fine about me wearing in front of him.

so I would really encourage you to sit down with him and tell him everything and why. this will clear the are for you, it will be heard, but your dad is probably weighting for you.

or it will come to the point where they will be asking you. because they are worried about you and what the best for you as all parents do.

Ok hope this helps you

Sisi


 

SailingWolfPup

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You're very welcome. And, like I said it's scary, but it's worth it. Sisi has a great point, too. It's always best to approach the subject first, and the sooner the better. By approaching them first, you have the ball in your field and you are guiding the conversation. Then, by doing it sooner rather than later, you prevent both you and them from working yourselves up more. We humans have a way of imagining the worst and fixating on it. Even when the likelihood of the worst outcome is astronomically small.
 

gnd567

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I know. And like I said, I will have to talk to them (or dad at the least) when that huge box shows up at the door. He's gonna wonder and probably already know what it is.
 

Cottontail

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This right here probably plays a lot into why it's got me so stressed. We've always been very close and I don't want that to change because of my diaper wearing. At the same time, I'm also quite private and shy when it comes to discussing personal matters with others (including family) and feel that since I've kept it a secret for over 20 years that he and others may think "What ELSE has he been hiding from us?" I don't want to be thought of differenly (I'm already eccentric enough as is.) He's quite old-school when it comes to some things. I just don't want to be confused for some sort of pervert or something.

Well, I'd say that's a really good thing, honestly. If you do decide to open up about it, and make clear that you're simply trying to resolve his confusion, your chances seem better than average. (Your chances of being left alone to indulge your kink privately, to be clear.) I would be far more concerned if you were telling us that you each hated the other, that you were an unemployed drop-out who hadn't worked in years (if ever), that you had no prospects in sight, no apparent social life, etc. Not to say that people who manifest that list of challenges are objectively "bad" in some way, but rather that such people effectively beg for misunderstanding--far more than you are. I seriously doubt that revealing this to your dad will lead him to wonder what else you might be hiding. It's easy to preempt that by simply telling him what you've just told us--that this is something you've wrestled with since you were very little, and have been too embarrassed about to share. That's quite forgivable and human of you. Don't paint yourself as a monster or anything. Not opening up about embarrassing things is pretty universal.
 

caitianx

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My own elderly parents knew about my wearing adult diapers.
My younger brother has known about my wearing adult diapers for years.
Of course, my late Mom never liked my wearing adult diapers.
She screamed at me a number of times over the years, that they were only for bedridden adults in nursing homes.
I wore them to defy her, and be myself.

 

Angelic

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Good thinking caitianix! I salute you!:worshippy:
 

gnd567

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Thanks again everyone. I'm attempting to relax and accept it but they'll be here in less than a week and I've got to come up with what to say to him by then because there is no way that he won't say something. No way.
 
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