To tell or not to tell (my psychologist)

[dinorider]

I'll start off by saying I wasn't really sure where to post this. I'm not really an AB (except for slight tendencies), but this doesn't really concern diapers in themselves. Mods: fell free to move this as you see fit.

So, the last couple of weeks I've been seeing this psychologist. I wouldn't normally ask this question as being a DL isn't something that doesn't really bother me, but allow me to elaborate:

The reason I've been seeing a psychologist is because of what can best be described as panic attacks. Meaning that a few times a week I'm hit by a sensation of despair that lands me on my bed for several hours, often ending with me feeling so depressed I feel as if I have to throw up.

Me and my psychologist have been trying to figure out why. So far we've covered the more obvious reasons that could be responsible. But as this has gone on for longer than any of the direct reasons we've decided that those probably aren't the core issue.

He's asked me to pretty much write him a short self-biography in an attempt to find this core issue, focusing on things in my life that has caused me problems.

That's were the question of telling him about my *B/DL side comes in. It's something I really like keeping to myself and have a hard time talking about. I don't have a problem with it being a part of me whatsoever, and as such I find it hard to believe it could have much to do with my panic attacks. On the other hand, I don't really know what could.

I realize that few if any of you are psychologists yourselves and have deep insight into things like this, but any advice on the subject would be appreciated.

 

[Mesmerale]

Honestly, even if it isn't the cause of the panic attacks, it may have something to do with what is. (Fear of getting caught may result in anxiety which may be transferred to feelings of depression. Not that I know if you even fear getting caught, of course. Just an example.)

And if it isn't, I honestly can't see how it would hurt to tell a good psychologist about it.

So the question you have to ask yourself is: Do you think that your psychologist is a good enough psychologist to trust with that information?

 

[Nicky]

Personally....I would.

 

[Thunder]

Well, with the whole Doctor-Patient confidentiality, I don't see what bad could come from it, it might actually help you out. But only do it if you really feel comfortable doing so.

 

[James]

If you are comfortable with telling him about it, I would tell him. You never know it could help him in the long run, when he is trying to figure out what is causing your panic attacks.
Better to be safe, then sorry.

 

[dogboy]

I started having panic attacks 10 years ago. It was job related and I understood that. At one point it got so bad that my wife called 911 because it felt like I was having a heart attack. I had trouble breathing with hyperventilation. I'll bet you've been there.

Since it was job anxiety, that was the root cause. It eventually went away after the Christmas season was over, which was related to the job. It would return on occasions, and then it was like I outgrew it. Eventually I changed jobs.

When I was 22 my mom caught me with my stash as well as some gay porn. Since the guys in the mag ranged in various ages (mostly teenagers like myself at the time) she wisked me off to a shrink. I also was having a psychotic break. I had to tell my shrink about liking and wearing diapers, etc. as well as liking males and having a relationship with my college room mate. It all went OK, because the shrink was a professional. He was a lot more concerned about my sex habits than the diapers. He thought I would outgrow them, and of course he was wrong, but that wasn't really important. The diapers were and are a strong part of my life. Though I felt very embarrassed waiting in the outer office with other patients, I survived.

I think you have to surmise how much is your diaper wearing a part of you. Does it add to the anxiety, or does it diminish your anxiety. Both are important, and probably important enough that your psychologist should be aware. It is a part of you and your psychological makeup. After having said all of that, I am not a psychologist and this is nothing more than my opinion based on my past experiences. Maybe you should first establish a relationship with your psychologist and let things progress at a slower pace. You don't want to add t0 your stress and anxiety. You will know when it's the right time. I wish you the best.

 

[DJDL]

Wow - I could have typed your exact post a few years ago. I ended up telling my psych, and she was understanding. I have mixed feelings over it today.

At first she asked if it involved children, which I replied in the negative. Then she did research which ended up being alot of the stuff I've heard before on the web. The good part of it was that she kind of helped me pinpoint where my interest in diapers began. It was at the pre-verbal stage and apparently while my mother was lovingly changing me, my brain rightly so interpreted the action wearing a diaper as pleasurable. So here I am.

Hope you can find some information that will help you.

 

[Nam Repaid]

I told my shrink, only after several years when I became fully comfortable wtih him. If there is a possability they are causing or adding to your anxiety you should bring it up as soon as you you feel able. I'd guess (just an uninformed opinion) diapering is a symptom not a cause though.

 

[soren456]

So, let the therapist make the connections. That's what he's trained to do.

If you knew what's causing your panic attacks, you wouldn't need him, would you?

But you've made no progress. In fact it sounds like you've wasted your time. So why not simply disclose who you are, and get on with the work?

It may be that the DL stuff has no connection. But that's for the therapist to decide.

You lose nothing by honesty, even in a therapeutic situation.

 

[dinorider]

First off: Thanks for all the replies!

I started having panic attacks 10 years ago. It was job related and I understood that. At one point it got so bad that my wife called 911 because it felt like I was having a heart attack. I had trouble breathing with hyperventilation. I'll bet you've been there.

Since it was job anxiety, that was the root cause. It eventually went away after the Christmas season was over, which was related to the job. It would return on occasions, and then it was like I outgrew it. Eventually I changed jobs.

When I was 22 my mom caught me with my stash as well as some gay porn. Since the guys in the mag ranged in various ages (mostly teenagers like myself at the time) she wisked me off to a shrink. I also was having a psychotic break. I had to tell my shrink about liking and wearing diapers, etc. as well as liking males and having a relationship with my college room mate. It all went OK, because the shrink was a professional. He was a lot more concerned about my sex habits than the diapers. He thought I would outgrow them, and of course he was wrong, but that wasn't really important. The diapers were and are a strong part of my life. Though I felt very embarrassed waiting in the outer office with other patients, I survived.

I think you have to surmise how much is your diaper wearing a part of you. Does it add to the anxiety, or does it diminish your anxiety. Both are important, and probably important enough that your psychologist should be aware. It is a part of you and your psychological makeup. After having said all of that, I am not a psychologist and this is nothing more than my opinion based on my past experiences. Maybe you should first establish a relationship with your psychologist and let things progress at a slower pace. You don't want to add t0 your stress and anxiety. You will know when it's the right time. I wish you the best.

Thanks for that, dogboy. I hope you know how much your stories are helping people who are at a stage in life you've already been trough.

So, let the therapist make the connections. That's what he's trained to do.

If you knew what's causing your panic attacks, you wouldn't need him, would you?

But you've made no progress. In fact it sounds like you've wasted your time. So why not simply disclose who you are, and get on with the work?

It may be that the DL stuff has no connection. But that's for the therapist to decide.

You lose nothing by honesty, even in a therapeutic situation.

A bit harsh in wording, but very true. The DL stuff is really a very minor part of me and I don't often think of it as something that affects the rest of me. Still, I guess it' a part nonetheless.

The thing is that it's something that's really kind of hard for me to talk about with other people. Not because of shame, but because it somehow makes me very uncomfortable. It makes me feel extremely vulnerable in a way.

But as you noted, I haven't really made any progress with my therapy sessions anyway, so I should just open up completely. however uncomfortable it makes me feel.

Thanks for giving me an honest push there.

 

[ZombifiedKitty]

Search my posts enough and you'll find plenty about panic attacks and advice with psychologists and mental health.

The mind is like a lake, toss a pebble in and the rings spread over the entire surface of the lake. Some areas you hardly see the rings, others its very obvious.

I've been hospitalized many times and seen many docs, basically been through hell and back. As long as your heart is in the right place and you really want to get better then you don't have to push yourself too hard. Besides you don't want to dread going to the therapist because they make you uncomfortable.

Doesn't totally sound like a panic attack from what you describe here however I have had depressive spells where I've been known to stay in bed for up to 3 days (or better part of them). Severe depression can and will physically get you also, no energy and mysterious aches and pains, and sudden too.

 

[PumaPunku]

If you feel comfortable, talk about it as an aspect of your life. Explain your views on wearing and how it makes your life better (or worse).

If I was in counseling or seeing a psychologist, I would talk about it myself because it's not exactly something you can talk about with just anyone. It can be healthy to get that off your chest and process it more by talking it out.

 

[lumps19]

If you're seeing a psychologist, it's important to go over abnormal fetishes and behaviors. However, I would put emphasis on the fact that you are not fully engaged in the behavior. I can guarantee you, whatever is wrong with you probably has very little to do with your fetishes, but it's important to give the psychologist the wide range of both your sex life and your non-sex life.

 

[Maverick]

Well, the psychologist said you should talk about the things in your life that are causing problems, and diapers aren't really causing problems for you. Nevertheless, diapers may actually be a contributor to your recent depression spells, without you knowing it, so in that sense, it's a good idea to tell him about it. You said you don't feel comfortable talking about the diaper fetish, so maybe you should say that to the psychologist. I'm sure he'll ask a few questions, but if you say that to him, he probably won't get too far into it.

 

[LittleAdam]

One thing that I have learned by going to a counselor in the past is that if you're not being completely honest, you're wasting your time and your (or your parents) money. You're not going to get much benefit out of not telling the truth or disclosing everything that you are asked to tell.

I really think you should get it out in these sessions. It's all confidential between you and your doctor, and you don't have much to lose by telling. Things can only get better for you, in my opinion. Good luck!