I get freaked out; start getting flashbacks of Utah whenever anyone puts their hands on me; tickling, hugs, moving in too fast for a kiss on the forehead or something; I'd like to work on being able to let people touch me/not be afraid to touch people. Currently though it freaks me out.
I was at a party once though, super drunk, really high/stoned, but I didn't have anywhere to go; my parents were out of town so it was party at my place; it must have been during my five days of highschool where I got to be a normal, rowdy teenager lol. But yeah...my friend Jake knew that I wore diapers; he was chill with it....and he was gay; we kinda had a moment in my big sisters bedroom at a party while my folks were out of town; I was super drunk, really high/stoned and about to pass out and happened to have a very wet diaper on and Jake had me lay down on my sisters bed and....yeah; that was the first and only time anyone's actually put a diaper on me before. Jake had known all about it for a while and knew I had some; the most memorable thing about it though was that he like blew on my tummy; not sure what the word for it is lmao; but I've seen it done on other babies; I've even done it to my nieces; makes them giggle, lol; it made my scream, "OH MY GOD!" and start cracking up; scared the crap out of me lol (not literally thank goodness). Just really took me by surprise but to this day I'm still kinda shy to admit that I loved that lol. XD That's probably the only time I've ever been touched since escaping from Utah that I haven't felt sick to my stomach or punched someone in the face are pulled away suddenly; I feel terrible when I reflexively jerk away from either of my parents when they try to hug me; it's like I'm.....broken.