This 'Incontinent' fetish?

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PaddedStag

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I don't get it.
I just don't understand why anyone would want to piss/shit themselves.
I'm no psychologist, and I am not judging other people's kinks. If that's what you like, and you and your partner are o.k. with it? Hell, knock yourselves out!

I can't stand not being in control of my plumbing anymore.
I don't leave home, except to buy groceries/hardware to tend my home.
I never leave home and return, 'Dry/Clean', and that scares the ever loving hell out of me. (leaks/smells).

I'm not new to this condition. I've been dealing with it for years.

I just don't understand why folks enjoy this?

I'd rather eat a bullet than shame myself in public (again).
 
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I agree 101 % i wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy :cry:
 
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Missy1 said:
I agree 101 % i wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy :cry:

Thank You...

I'm just so close to throwing in the towel.

I sorta envy those who find some kind of 'Fun' in it? I just can't bring myself to that perspective.
It's so damned shameful...
 
I'm a happy ABDL but I don't want to be incontinent. I admit that the notion of being compelled by something beyond my control to use my diapers sometimes has a fantasy appeal but all it is is a fantasy. The rest of the time, I find it more appealing that I'm wearing them even though they are unnecessary.

I'm not sure why some ABDLs are so drawn to incontinence beyond that fantasy. I see people saying from time to time that they wish they were incontinent so that no one would question their need for diapers. Maybe it's that simple. I doubt it. We are drawn to ABDL for different reasons and probably the lure of incontinence has different origins as well.
 
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Agree so much, have started having nighttime accidents and never so far have I been happy to be into diapers as a solution to it. It is hard to talk about to others, even those who are caring and supportive as it is so embarrassing and difficult to get used to.
Though I would advise working on trying to release the shame aspect of it, it is not your fault and this condition effects millions upon millions and it is our collective shame that is not helping any of us.
I wish you all the best, it is a journey and not easy to do alone in any way.
 
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PaddedStag said:
Thank You...

I'm just so close to throwing in the towel.

I sorta envy those who find some kind of 'Fun' in it? I just can't bring myself to that perspective.
It's so damned shameful...

The best we can do is try to ACCEPT our different problems (in my case also all my diagnosis as well as IC ) and learn to adapt to them. Giving up is NOT the right solution . We ALL have our good as well as BAD days. And above all DROP the guilt neither one of us have chosen this so why should we have to feel guilt or shame ?
 
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Same here, I keep trying to tell those that wish they were incontinent what it actually means and the massive difference it makes to your life, I now have total bladder loss and am experiencing bowel accidents as well, especially when my IBS flares, this is all due to spinal problems and injuries and whilst i am due to have surgery at some point this year it won't stop the bladder incontinence although it should help the bowel unless it is due to diabetic neuropathy in which case it will just get worse. At 64 I and my fiancee have learnt to cope with my having to wear nappies 24/7 for the bladder problem but I hate having bowel accidents. The People that want to be incontinent have no idea how much it changes your life and even your self image. just for once i would like to be able to wear normal underwear and not worry about carrying a changing bag with me, clean clothes, finding a disabled bathroom, having to use a waterproof bed pad and don't get me started on being intimate.
 
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PaddedStag, don't give in, I wish I could say it will get better, but that is unlikely. you could go down the medication route depending on the cause of your IC or botox injections may be a possibility (talk to your urologist), other than that it is trying to accept that you have a medical problem and that the "medicine" you need is nappies. We all have our bad times when things get on top of us, I'm fortunate that my fiancee understands and helps me as much as possible, that can include getting me into little space as that way it doesn't worry me as much (I regress to around 2 years old) she also acts as my non sexual mummy although even regressed I cannot stand soiling myself. If you need to reach out you can pm me anytime.
 
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PaddedStag said:
I don't get it.
I just don't understand why anyone would want to piss/shit themselves.
I'm no psychologist, and I am not judging other people's kinks. If that's what you like, and you and your partner are o.k. with it? Hell, knock yourselves out!

I can't stand not being in control of my plumbing anymore.
I don't leave home, except to buy groceries/hardware to tend my home.
I never leave home and return, 'Dry/Clean', and that scares the ever loving hell out of me. (leaks/smells).

I'm not new to this condition. I've been dealing with it for years.

I just don't understand why folks enjoy this?

I'd rather eat a bullet than shame myself in public (again).


There is a difference between wanting incontinence and voluntarily doing it. At least when you are wearing a diaper, you are in control because you can choose to wet your diaper and choose to hold it and when you feel the urge to mess, you can choose if you want to do it there or not or hold it or go find a bathroom. If you know your diaper is going to leak and you have to pee again, you have the option to hold it. With IC, you don't get this option.
 
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Hi PaddedStag,

this question is most likely very difficult to explain to someone who have no experiences with fetish in general - and that one in particular - especially if you are incontinent. I understand to 100% that this "wish - or behaviour" seems to be really stupid/wired for anyone outside especially if he have such a problem by himself.

I can tell you just a bit from myself. For me the story started at the age of 5 or 6. I experienced my first sexual feelings while waking up in a wet bed that I had soaked accidentally. I did'd know what it was at this time and I did't had the wish to talk about it with my parents because I liked it. Of cause my parents dislike my bed wetting and want to send me to the doctor if it would't stop. But I really loved my newly found pleasure and so I had to find a solution to keep it secret and started experimenting with myself, kitchen towels plastic backs ... just to hide it from my parents. I think what happened was a deep imprinting that changed a lot of things in my young and later live. Looking back - I don't know if I there's anything that could had been done to change the situation, but in fact I think this fetich was not only good for me. I hinder myself in setting up sexual relations to girls, it caused me a lot of problems because I had to hide parts of my sexuality and even worse - it's exactly like you question: Mostly nobody would understand why the hack I'm doing such wired things. Especially in my younger years this was a real burden because there was no Internet where I could find informations and sometimes I felt like that last ill alien left on earth.

Meanwhile I'm over 50 and luckily over the alien part of the story, but unfortunately I had the chance to involuntary experience the other side of the medal too. A couple of years ago I became UIC. Meanwhile I know that I have PBS and they found some glomerulations in my bladder - so that's not the best prognoses to become continent again. I really worked hard for round about 3 years to make it over the daytime again without accidents and I was some how successful. I rate that an important success for me. It hate my UIC and I tried a lot to get my old live back again. So I can absolutely catch your point. But - as strange as it sounds - I'm still a DL. At the beginning of my UIC I'd just panicked. There was nothing erotic, the cramps just badly hurts and the loss of control make me really depressed and destroy my self-confidence for a while. To be honest my sexuality was dead for the first years after my continence problems started. But this changed with the time again and this forum helped me a lot to sort my feelings about that.

So I'm not sure if this was a answer to your question but feel free to ask here in the forum if you want to know more. Maybe others can explain it better.
 
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Trevor said:
I'm a happy ABDL but I don't want to be incontinent. I admit that the notion of being compelled by something beyond my control to use my diapers sometimes has a fantasy appeal but all it is is a fantasy. The rest of the time, I find it more appealing that I'm wearing them even though they are unnecessary.

I'm not sure why some ABDLs are so drawn to incontinence beyond that fantasy. I see people saying from time to time that they wish they were incontinent so that no one would question their need for diapers. Maybe it's that simple. I doubt it. We are drawn to ABDL for different reasons and probably the lure of incontinence has different origins as well.
Thank You for replying and sharing your perspective.
:)
 
surprise35 said:
Agree so much, have started having nighttime accidents and never so far have I been happy to be into diapers as a solution to it. It is hard to talk about to others, even those who are caring and supportive as it is so embarrassing and difficult to get used to.
Though I would advise working on trying to release the shame aspect of it, it is not your fault and this condition effects millions upon millions and it is our collective shame that is not helping any of us.
I wish you all the best, it is a journey and not easy to do alone in any way.
Thank You.
 
Missy1 said:
The best we can do is try to ACCEPT our different problems (in my case also all my diagnosis as well as IC ) and learn to adapt to them. Giving up is NOT the right solution . We ALL have our good as well as BAD days. And above all DROP the guilt neither one of us have chosen this so why should we have to feel guilt or shame ?
Society will never drop the stigma.

I was standing in line at the grocery, waiting to put my purchases on the belt, and heard a child behind me laughing.
I didn't know I was leaking, and leaving a puddle on the floor.

There is no way to smile and 'Accept' such a thing.

I wish I hadn't lived so long, to experience this.
 
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PCBaby said:
Same here, I keep trying to tell those that wish they were incontinent what it actually means and the massive difference it makes to your life, I now have total bladder loss and am experiencing bowel accidents as well, especially when my IBS flares, this is all due to spinal problems and injuries and whilst i am due to have surgery at some point this year it won't stop the bladder incontinence although it should help the bowel unless it is due to diabetic neuropathy in which case it will just get worse. At 64 I and my fiancee have learnt to cope with my having to wear nappies 24/7 for the bladder problem but I hate having bowel accidents. The People that want to be incontinent have no idea how much it changes your life and even your self image. just for once i would like to be able to wear normal underwear and not worry about carrying a changing bag with me, clean clothes, finding a disabled bathroom, having to use a waterproof bed pad and don't get me started on being intimate.

I look at my pairs of 'Jeans', and shake my head.
I remember what it was like to wear only them, and a pair of underwear, and never worry about a g-damned thing...
 
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PaddedStag said:
Society will never drop the stigma.

I was standing in line at the grocery, waiting to put my purchases on the belt, and heard a child behind me laughing.
I didn't know I was leaking, and leaving a puddle on the floor.

There is no way to smile and 'Accept' such a thing.

I wish I hadn't lived so long, to experience this.

Oh dont get me wrong i do EVERYTHING to prevent " accidents "

I had to literally drop the carriage in the grocery store inform the personnel RUN out to the public restroom and JUST barely made it for a HUGE loads so believe me i understand .

From what youre telling us id say you need to get better grade diapers & aded PVC or PUK pants because you shouldent have leaks

Also if may give a suggestion try to empty youre self prior (Ie close before ) youre going out thats what i do EVERY day

What i meant was NOT smiling happily when this happens (i shore dont i HATE it ) but more take a deep breath and go and take care of it asap & as i said get better HA diapers .

Also i KNOW it sucks but try to have some extra "products " with you in a ord bag so that you can IF an accident occur get cleaned up and changed. (we need to be aware at all times WERE said restroom are located ) i wear a fully stocked diaper bag ALL the time as i have NO choice
 
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PaddedStag said:
Society will never drop the stigma.

I was standing in line at the grocery, waiting to put my purchases on the belt, and heard a child behind me laughing.
I didn't know I was leaking, and leaving a puddle on the floor.

There is no way to smile and 'Accept' such a thing.

No way around it, that sucks. When you wear a diaper, leaks will happen sometimes. I had switched to a different brand of pull-up (with plastic pants) and was trying on jeans at a department store last year. In the dressing room, I had a sudden bladder contraction and decided to just use my pull-up. Five seconds later it was all down my leg. Thankfully I was wearing my jeans at the time and not the store's, and they were dark blue. The store wasn't crowded and I made a beeline for the jeans rack and then out the nearest exit, and sat on a plastic bag for the short drive home. I don't wear Attends pull-up anymore: they aren't full-cut in the butt which can prevent them from hugging your body properly, even if the absorbency is quite good.

I don't know anything about you beyond what you've posted, and I realize my status as ABDL means I've been able to wade into this one toe at a time and pull back when necessary... But IMHO this is a situation where the best defense is a good offense. There's an HDIS commercial I see occasionally on TV with a woman shopping at a store and the voiceover says, "The bladder control aisle? You won't shop here again!" Like hell. (Excluding for the moment that store brands are really bad.) Say you're at the local CVS or Walgreens buying emergency diapers because FedEx lost your package. The person in front of you is buying extra strength headache medicine. The person in front of them is buying strips for their glucose meter. Is your purchase any different? No. It's a medical aid and you shouldn't feel any more embarrassed than anybody else.

Yes, you need to learn to laugh about it. I've had people walk in on me a couple times while changing. On one occasion at the mall, my shorts were at my ankles and I'd just applied barrier cream to my genitals. The latch on the stall apparently wasn't secure and a man suddenly flung it open. Standing there naked, I got a big grin on my face and said "hi!". He should have been more embarrassed than me, as he then proceeded into the next stall and really stunk up the bathroom. I've been wearing more absorbent diapers since then and find that I need to change on-the-fly a lot less.

I think one of the benefits of boards like this is reading other people's stories: the situations they find themselves in and how they manage to cope. If you're dealing with this completely alone, that must be stressful. But there is a whole community here to offer support. No, I don't know what you've had to endure, but please hang out for a while, read old posts, interact, and you might just find your comfort level going up.

PaddedStag said:
I wish I hadn't lived so long, to experience this.

OTOH, you could be Luke Perry.
 
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And oh the wonderful joy of me having to go through my shorts, jeans and pants and getting rid of any that aren't actually three sizes too big because I need the extra room in the butt to allow for my diaper. :p

Because thin 'discreet' diapers aren't doing it for me and I would probably curl up in shame if I leaked in public. ;_;

I'm only urinary at this point, but I hope to never get bowel IC. I hate being wet much less being messy.

(I am told by my mother that even as an actual infant I despised being wet/messy and would howl until I was changed.)
 
In general Pull up diapers are NOT for heavy IC . Sadly you need HA diapers
 
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Missy1 said:
In general Pull up diapers are NOT for heavy IC . Sadly you need HA diapers

Yeah. I learned this the hard way. :p

Pull-ons/Pull-ups just don't hold a full bladder release. They'll work best for people who have 'trickles' and not 'floods'.
 
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For myself, the attraction began between times of need. I grew up wetting the bed frequently, all the way into my late teens. I outgrew it eventually, but didn't discover diapers until then. I had only been dry for a month or two when I found out there were products out there that could keep you dry, I really had no idea. I woke up cold and wet for YEARS. Stripping the bed every morning, changing clothes at 0300 and sleeping on the floor. I was attracted to the idea of diapers simply as a solution, another tool, that could've helped me. From a utilitarian stand point, I was fascinated. The practicality and the relief from an embarrassing situation was impalpable. I loved them. Years later as my nightly issues began to return, I knew the solution and was prepared.

As for the large population of this community that seem to idolize incontinence? I'm not certain, but I think Trevor is pretty close. I think it has a lot to do with acceptance. Deriving enjoyment from something like diapers (comfort, security, practicality, wearing/not using, using) in all its various forms is NOT something that is "normal" to society. That means those that enjoy it must always hide it. They are always hiding a big piece of themselves from friends and family, never sharing with partners. The fear of discovery is immeasurable for some people.

Incontinence, or the idea, gives people the ability to be "out". They no longer have to hide, nor do they have to worry about going through the tough process of explaining themselves and AB/DL. They don't have to worry about being linked to pedophiles, they can simply be themselves. Their actions are instantly justified and far less judgment is passed.

I also think a large part of it is simply because it is the next logical step for AB's. Those that enjoy infantilism, have "little" personas, and love the surrender of being small with no responsibilities could also link that same release of control with incontinence. It could possibly be the highest form of freedom, lack of control, for them.
 
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