There's always that one person...

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BigKid25

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...that you just absolutely cannot stand, and I've definitely found my currently most disliked person. It's that person who, for some portion of your life and for a variety of reasons, just seems to always get under your skin even if they don't mean to. The one who you try to avoid for the most part but who will always seem to find you at your most frustrated moment to drop a snide comment or remark your way.

Even though I tend to preach tolerance and acceptance, I find the practice so much more difficult than the theory and it troubles me that I'm so bothered by this person and the way they interact with me because I should be able to just accept the fact that we disagree on a variety of topics and move on with my life. But, not agreeing and not getting along are 2 different things and there's something about this particular person that makes my blood boil whenever they direct a comment my way.

(For context, I know this person through Boy Scouts so I don't have to deal with them on a regular basis at all. Our only interactions are the occasional comments on FB and seeing each other at Scouting events.)

I am troubled by it because it's unnecessary for me to stress myself over something so minor. Therefore, I have tried to remove myself from any chance at contact with this person in the hopes that the distance will diminish the conflict. However, I feel as though this is an easy way out of the issue since I have been trying to work on my understanding and tolerance of others (especially those whom I strongly dislike).

Do others have that one person that they just absolutely cannot stand, or have you all found effective methods to deal with the person or problem in question?

I'm not necessarily looking for a solution, just insight into how others deal with people they don't get along with.
 

KittyninjaW

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Oh man, my brother is like that for me, I mean sure he can be nice at times, but other times, he can be annoying and rude. You said you don't deal with this person all the time, that's good, Because after you see him, you can move on with your life, I wish I could, Also How I deal with my bro is alone time, in case your wondering.
 

BigKid25

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Oh man, my brother is like that for me, I mean sure he can be nice at times, but other times, he can be annoying and rude. You said you don't deal with this person all the time, that's good, Because after you see him, you can move on with your life, I wish I could, Also How I deal with my bro is alone time, in case your wondering.

You're preaching to the choir on that one! Me and my brothers used to fight like cats & dogs for the longest time and we still occasionally have spats with each other. There's something about siblings that give them the ammo needed to know exactly what buttons to push. But, you're right, you can't exactly just move on with your life leaving your siblings behind (well, depending on the circumstances of course.)

When you say you have alone time, do you mean you just sort of distance yourself from your brother?
 

KittyninjaW

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I go to my room in the evening, and get away from him, I also study and play games.
 

zackiepooh1992

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...that you just absolutely cannot stand, and I've definitely found my currently most disliked person. It's that person who, for some portion of your life and for a variety of reasons, just seems to always get under your skin even if they don't mean to. The one who you try to avoid for the most part but who will always seem to find you at your most frustrated moment to drop a snide comment or remark your way.

Even though I tend to preach tolerance and acceptance, I find the practice so much more difficult than the theory and it troubles me that I'm so bothered by this person and the way they interact with me because I should be able to just accept the fact that we disagree on a variety of topics and move on with my life. But, not agreeing and not getting along are 2 different things and there's something about this particular person that makes my blood boil whenever they direct a comment my way.

(For context, I know this person through Boy Scouts so I don't have to deal with them on a regular basis at all. Our only interactions are the occasional comments on FB and seeing each other at Scouting events.)

I am troubled by it because it's unnecessary for me to stress myself over something so minor. Therefore, I have tried to remove myself from any chance at contact with this person in the hopes that the distance will diminish the conflict. However, I feel as though this is an easy way out of the issue since I have been trying to work on my understanding and tolerance of others (especially those whom I strongly dislike).

Do others have that one person that they just absolutely cannot stand, or have you all found effective methods to deal with the person or problem in question?

I'm not necessarily looking for a solution, just insight into how others deal with people they don't get along with.

Sorry that you are in this situation! I never use the word hate on someone unless i mean it. My moms ex boyfriend i saw red meaning rage just being around him. We almost got in a fight funny thing is i was 20 and he was in his late 30s and im 5/6 over 200 pounds and he is over 6 feet tall but when i turn into the hulk size don't matter
 

BigKid25

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Sorry that you are in this situation! I never use the word hate on someone unless i mean it. My moms ex boyfriend i saw red meaning rage just being around him. We almost got in a fight funny thing is i was 20 and he was in his late 30s and im 5/6 over 200 pounds and he is over 6 feet tall but when i turn into the hulk size don't matter

I can't even imagine the kinds of drama a mom's bf can bring into a household with a 20 year old son. I know if there was some guy trying to come into my house and start making themselves at home with my mom, I would be almost lookin' for a fight daily! I'm pretty hot headed too, which is why I try to remove myself from those kind of people if I can help it. Because once I start wailing on someone, there's not a whole lot stopping me (unless the other person knows how to fight), so I don't start.
 

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An old friend I used to be close to but had to cut out of my life because he showed just how much of a prick he could be :(. Can't stand losing friends but it had to be done.
 

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Life without a nemesis is dull and boring, a lesson it took nearly 50 years to learn. In my early life I let them make me miserable, it is a hard transition but you can learn to deal with them on your own terms.
 

dogboy

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When I was a teacher assistant, I ran into people I really tried to distance myself from. The worst were substitute teachers that would sit down with me at lunch. I also have a brother-in-law who is a very difficult person. He's weird, to be sure and still lives with his 93 year old mom. I have just tried to tolerate these people, but at the same time, spend as little time as possible with them. Avoiding them is an art.
 

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I'm happy that I have weeded people like that out of my life.

I know 3 years ago, I had a college roommate who, let's just say was a pompous douchebag and a hypocrite. He constantly made fun of me behind my back (Dude, the walls are paper thin in this apartment. I hear every word you're saying about me). He refused to wear headphones when listening to music (and this asshole had the NERVE to complain that I'm being too loud), and he and his girlfriend had sex right with me in the room. I distinctly remember the girlfriend saying "Wait Asshole (I won't use his real name, so we'll just call him Asshole). We can't do this. Your roommate is right there." "Oh, he's per-occupied with other stuff. And if he does notice it, well, it's just Gsmax. Fuck him!" "Oh, you're probably right Asshole. I love you." After putting up with that for WAY too long and being unable to move into another apartment, I just packed up all my stuff and moved out. couple months before the semester ended. Never notified him or warned him that I was leaving. Just grabbed my stuff and never looked back. I'm so happy I made that decision and that I never saw that guy ever again or ever encountered anyone I loathed that much since.
 

AEsahaettr

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The most recent IRL experience I had with this was at work. I had a coworker who was good with his work legitimately busted his ass but spent way too much time up in everyone else's business. Most of you probably know this guy: the one who works hard, but ignores the fact that everyone around him works hard too and makes a big deal about how we all need to be more like him. The guy who's your coworker but thinks he's the assistant department supervisor (a non-existent position).

There was one aisle the people in my department had been collectively neglected and we got called on it by the store manager when he did a store walk. I have a reputation as a person who gets shit done so when I got in, an ASM corralled me and made it clear that my job for the next six hours was servicing that aisle and the two next to it. Help any customers who come through, but all of my tasking was to be getting that aisle and the ones near it back up to snuff. I did so and at the end of the day was making smalltalk with irritating coworker. He asks me if I'd worked on important task A. No. Important task B? No. What about Task C? No. He freaks out and tells me that I'm not setting my priorities effectively; these other tasks needed to get done today and without me they didn't. I interrupt him and tell him that I was working on a project that came directly from an assistant manager, eg, our boss's boss. That we all haven't been spending the time in aisle 48 and collectively need to start doing better. Now he gets on his high horse about how he works hard in 48 all the time (he works hard, but neglects that aisle as much as the rest of us) and we need to be more like him.

I blew him off; it was the end of my shift and I wanted to go home. He continued to be annoying. Then he started having a lot of transportation issues and was eventually let go because of too many NCNS days. I don't wish being fired for reasons out of your control on anyone, but I'll also admit that my job got a lot more tolerable without him. They also never hired a replacement for him so I started to get a lot more hours per week.
 

BigKid25

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An old friend I used to be close to but had to cut out of my life because he showed just how much of a prick he could be :(. Can't stand losing friends but it had to be done.

I know the feeling as I've had to do the same with a few of my friends. But there is a certain sense of liberation when you can look at them objectively instead of feeling bad about thinking poorly of them because "They're my friend..."

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Life without a nemesis is dull and boring, a lesson it took nearly 50 years to learn. In my early life I let them make me miserable, it is a hard transition but you can learn to deal with them on your own terms.

That's an interesting perspective... I suppose there is something to be said for that sort of drive it gives you to want to be better than they think you are. Thanks for the insight.

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I'm happy that I have weeded people like that out of my life.

I know 3 years ago, I had a college roommate who, let's just say was a pompous douchebag and a hypocrite. He constantly made fun of me behind my back (Dude, the walls are paper thin in this apartment. I hear every word you're saying about me). He refused to wear headphones when listening to music (and this asshole had the NERVE to complain that I'm being too loud), and he and his girlfriend had sex right with me in the room. I distinctly remember the girlfriend saying "Wait Asshole (I won't use his real name, so we'll just call him Asshole). We can't do this. Your roommate is right there." "Oh, he's per-occupied with other stuff. And if he does notice it, well, it's just Gsmax. Fuck him!" "Oh, you're probably right Asshole. I love you." After putting up with that for WAY too long and being unable to move into another apartment, I just packed up all my stuff and moved out. couple months before the semester ended. Never notified him or warned him that I was leaving. Just grabbed my stuff and never looked back. I'm so happy I made that decision and that I never saw that guy ever again or ever encountered anyone I loathed that much since.

Omg I can't believe people are like that! That's ridiculously inconsiderate on so many levels. I'm glad you got out of there asap. Are you with some good roommates now?

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When I was a teacher assistant, I ran into people I really tried to distance myself from. The worst were substitute teachers that would sit down with me at lunch. I also have a brother-in-law who is a very difficult person. He's weird, to be sure and still lives with his 93 year old mom. I have just tried to tolerate these people, but at the same time, spend as little time as possible with them. Avoiding them is an art.

Indeed it is! The artform of avoiding people brings to mind George Carlin when he's explaining how to use body language to show the conversation's over.

People are boring!

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The most recent IRL experience I had with this was at work. I had a coworker who was good with his work legitimately busted his ass but spent way too much time up in everyone else's business. Most of you probably know this guy: the one who works hard, but ignores the fact that everyone around him works hard too and makes a big deal about how we all need to be more like him. The guy who's your coworker but thinks he's the assistant department supervisor (a non-existent position).

There was one aisle the people in my department had been collectively neglected and we got called on it by the store manager when he did a store walk. I have a reputation as a person who gets shit done so when I got in, an ASM corralled me and made it clear that my job for the next six hours was servicing that aisle and the two next to it. Help any customers who come through, but all of my tasking was to be getting that aisle and the ones near it back up to snuff. I did so and at the end of the day was making smalltalk with irritating coworker. He asks me if I'd worked on important task A. No. Important task B? No. What about Task C? No. He freaks out and tells me that I'm not setting my priorities effectively; these other tasks needed to get done today and without me they didn't. I interrupt him and tell him that I was working on a project that came directly from an assistant manager, eg, our boss's boss. That we all haven't been spending the time in aisle 48 and collectively need to start doing better. Now he gets on his high horse about how he works hard in 48 all the time (he works hard, but neglects that aisle as much as the rest of us) and we need to be more like him.

I blew him off; it was the end of my shift and I wanted to go home. He continued to be annoying. Then he started having a lot of transportation issues and was eventually let go because of too many NCNS days. I don't wish being fired for reasons out of your control on anyone, but I'll also admit that my job got a lot more tolerable without him. They also never hired a replacement for him so I started to get a lot more hours per week.

That's always the worst when it's happening at work because you really can't get away from the person if they're in your area. Those people take any monotony in a job and make it torturous just by their presence! Work has definitely helped to make me a more tolerant person when dealing with those people (and the occasional incensed customer) but the one thing that SERIOUSLY pisses me off is a NCNS. Idc if you are on your death bed, if you can't make it to work, you at least give the courtesy of a heads-up call. I have no sympathy if someone gets canned for NCNS.
 

AEsahaettr

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Yep, No Call, No Show. At my company two consecutive NCNS days is considered job abandonment and is firable. This guy got like 8 cumulative and up to three in a row.
 

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There was someone I know in one of my autism groups and she had a bad side I couldn't stand. Wasn't patient with me when I would ask questions and try and process things and remember detail and she would blow up at you out of the blue and start cursing at you and you better be a perfectionist or she will get mad at you if you make any mistake and she acted like she expected you to read everything she wrote online. We did not get along so I kept my distance from her and limited my contact with her in the group and not say anything when she talks.


My dad has a cousin who is difficult to get along with. She is very judgmental and I kept pissing her off as a teen because I couldn't stop saying the wrong thing and she believed my parents spoiled me and let me get away with things. She gets a thought in her head and then doesn't want to hear your "hearsay" or "excuse" and when I was 15, she had me believing that if I upset my grandfather and he gets a heart attack from it, it will be my fault so I kept my distance from him so I wouldn't upset him again. It was last summer when I found out it wouldn't have been my fault if I caused him to have a heart attack. But whatever she said to me, it was how I interpreted it. She also told me I was selfish and it's my parents fault. I have no contact with her.


I stay distance from my uncle and don't care to see him because he has a bad temper and anything can piss him off. He is short tempered and he can do verbal abuse.

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Yep, No Call, No Show. At my company two consecutive NCNS days is considered job abandonment and is firable. This guy got like 8 cumulative and up to three in a row.


When I lived in Montana,I don't how many co workers I went through because my boss would hire them and they would come and work and then not come and not ever be back so my boss would say they quit their job. One time one of them came back and my boss told her she didn't work here anymore because she had quit. None of them ever called so my boss always said they quit their jobs. Same thing happened with my ex boyfriend. He told me online how he was so depressed so he lost one of his other jobs and I asked how did depression make him lose his job, he told me he was so depressed he didn't come into work so they thought he quit. That should have been a red flag there.
 

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Where I'm now with "my camp" lives one assohle, which always ask me for cigs, beer, money, wheat... Yesterday those guy was speaking bullshit about and to me, we ended fighting and... I win !!! Is one of the extreme situation, I prefer "No Fight," but sometimes there's not more thing to do. After all, if someone bother me, I ignore him. Karma works.
 

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dogboy said:
also have a brother-in-law who is a very difficult person. He's weird, to be sure and still lives with his 93 year old mom.

Well at THAT point maybe the mother needs him more than he needs her, I know it looks odd, though, when the mom is young enough to care for herself. I also had a family member who lived with his mother and she is now in her 90's. Everyone in my family looked down on him, but I'm not sure if it's because of his living situation or because of his personality / behaviour.

The person I can't stand at all is my sister. She's a bully. There's no other way to put it. She's a bully and she gets pleasure from watching people suffer. I can't stand this type of person. She married a bully, too. They deserve each other.
 

BigKid25

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My dad has a cousin who is difficult to get along with. She is very judgmental and I kept pissing her off as a teen because I couldn't stop saying the wrong thing and she believed my parents spoiled me and let me get away with things. She gets a thought in her head and then doesn't want to hear your "hearsay" or "excuse" and when I was 15, she had me believing that if I upset my grandfather and he gets a heart attack from it, it will be my fault so I kept my distance from him so I wouldn't upset him again. It was last summer when I found out it wouldn't have been my fault if I caused him to have a heart attack. But whatever she said to me, it was how I interpreted it. She also told me I was selfish and it's my parents fault. I have no contact with her.

I'm so sorry to hear that! :(

That sounds terrible that you had to go through that. Sometimes family members can be the most cruel because they feel like they have no choice in whether they have to be around you or not. It definitely doesn't make that kind of stuff okay though. Those were horrible things that she said to you.

When I lived in Montana,I don't how many co workers I went through because my boss would hire them and they would come and work and then not come and not ever be back so my boss would say they quit their job. One time one of them came back and my boss told her she didn't work here anymore because she had quit. None of them ever called so my boss always said they quit their jobs. Same thing happened with my ex boyfriend. He told me online how he was so depressed so he lost one of his other jobs and I asked how did depression make him lose his job, he told me he was so depressed he didn't come into work so they thought he quit. That should have been a red flag there.

Ouch. I have actually been dealing with depression myself lately. For me, it's caused by stress and usually happens when I'm not taking care of my body or if I'm letting my life go. The stress overloads and I sort of shut down. It becomes a vicious cycle of me being depressed due to my own choices and circumstances, then continuing the depression by beating myself up and feeling weak because I can't break out and get down about that. It definitely makes me do seemingly stupid things that just multiply, so I could understand why your ex boyfriend decided to do a NCNS, but I always try to tell myself to never use my bouts as crutches or excuses. I'm most certainly not as severe as some people so it is easier said than done, but it's just my own philosophy.

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Where I'm now with "my camp" lives one assohle, which always ask me for cigs, beer, money, wheat... Yesterday those guy was speaking bullshit about and to me, we ended fighting and... I win !!! Is one of the extreme situation, I prefer "No Fight," but sometimes there's not more thing to do. After all, if someone bother me, I ignore him. Karma works.

? Forgive my intrusion, but what kind of camp are you at?! I work at a Summer Camp for Boy Scouts and all of the things you listed right there make it seem like we're thinking of two totally different camps lol.

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The person I can't stand at all is my sister. She's a bully. There's no other way to put it. She's a bully and she gets pleasure from watching people suffer. I can't stand this type of person. She married a bully, too. They deserve each other.

That's awful. :(

My brothers were horrible bullies when we were all younger, but that's due to some home life problems regarding divorce. We all sort of got over it after nearly killing each other, but it must really suck that your sister is stuck with that mindset. I always try to believe people have a bit of good in them and it's their environment that screws them up. But regardless of cause, some people just seem like lost causes.
 
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