the worst is over!

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Triscuit

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so, everyone --

I posted not too long ago with some info about myself; how I initially got into diapers, etc. I also mentioned that I was in a relationship with someone for around 3 years. We've lived together for about 15 months and share everything (even undies).

we fell on some hard times in November with our relationship -- or should I say, I had VERY good reason to end it all and move on with my life. betrayal is the worst deceit. although, I found strength to press on and begin the rebuilding process.

lately, we've been fighting -- and I admit, I didn't give a shit if we DID fight, it became a daily occurrence. after a while, I realized that I was contributing to the demise of our delicately built relationship. I knew I needed to do something to prove to him that I was beginning to trust him again, and I WANTED that trust there ...

so ...

tonight I told him I've been a DL since I was around 12-13. I explained that it went away for a while, now it's back and I really want to start exploring it again. I told him that this was my way to help begin rebuilding the trust that was lost. "Listen, if I can trust you with this .. I can trust you with anything, right?"

so, how did he react? let's see ..
he started CRACKING up laughing.

let me explain why: last night I told him I needed to tell him about my fetish and that I was afraid he would be disgusted. I eventually PUSS'D out and didn't even tell him last night. we were really baked and that's what made it so tough. BUT tonight I was REELING and READY to let the cat out of the bag.

he thought I was going to tell him I was into scat or something. PHEW, thank goodness I'm NOT. he laughed for a bit, then got serious. I explained how it began, what I remember of it, and what I'm expecting of my future with it. he told me as long as I didn't 'mess' in it (funny, he knows the terminology), that he was TOTALLY cool if I wanted to sit around in a diaper. he also explained that he'd prefer if no one was over the house when I was diapered.

after all was said and done, he gave me a smooch goodnight then went to bed. he laughed again, said I shouldn't have gotten so worked up and that it was not a big deal.

I am very, very thankful for this. I know this could have gone wrong on so many levels, but I need to start becoming more in tune with myself again.

but [email protected]# I can NOT believe that I just did this. it feels incredible on SO many levels and y'know what .. I haven't even had a diaper on since I was in my teens. I feel like going to Wal-Mart RIGHT NOW and grabbing a pack of diapers.

Tomorrow. Definitely. After work. MAKING IT HAPPEN!!!

<3
-Donny:thumbsup:
 
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A lot of people forget that this is most definetly not the worst thing out there. It's not really even that bad. Shocking yes, but thats because it's something that poeple don't really imagin existed. People who think that this is wrong usually don't understand what "this" is. they see some form of twisted pedo freaks, but they usually back down once they understand a little more. the problem is the people that refuse to understand a little bit more, which was obviously not your boyfriend, so enjoy the excitment of finnally getting your biggest secret off your chest.
 
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Why is it that you gays always seem to do better than us straighties in your telling partners of fetishes?
 

Jewbacca

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Why is it that you gays always seem to do better than us straighties in your telling partners of fetishes?
Perhaps it has something to do with society being like, "Oh, you're Gay, you're going to burn in hell" and them being like, "Well, society doesn't accept us, so what the hell does it matter what you're into, as long as it doesn't go against my personal beliefs."

It's pretty difficult to judge others critically when you have your dick in a box
 

dogboy

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I remember when I told my wife about my being ab/dl. It was so incredibly liberating as she was very accepting. Then the whole week at work I was turned on just by the thought that I could wear around the house pretty much whenever I wanted to. Now it all seems to be in good balance. As for boyfriend, I hope this all works out well for you. Good relations are built on so many things, that this revelation is just a way station, a stopping place.
 

dinorider

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Good for you, injektilo!

I told my boyfriend (well.. ex-boyfriend as of now) a while back and he had no problems with it at all. I never wore diapers around him or discussed it much after that, but having told him made our trust in each other increase. Us gays have it good, don't we? ;)
 

Bambusa

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I'm jealous of the gays.
Im straight and my partners have never cared. It comes down to whether or not they like you and think you are a good person.
 

Triscuit

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Good for you, injektilo!

I told my boyfriend (well.. ex-boyfriend as of now) a while back and he had no problems with it at all. I never wore diapers around him or discussed it much after that, but having told him made our trust in each other increase. Us gays have it good, don't we? ;)
I'd like to *think* we do! :D
Although, depending -- it can be VERY challenging dealing with "testosterone only" fueled battles.

And I believe I've read that DL'ing tendencies occur more frequently in males compared to females. Maybe that's why moms freak so much? My parents split around the time I was 12 and for a while, until I was 16, my mother was not very present. I think that made it easier for me to have privacy because she was very distraught over her break-up with my father.

Thanks for all of the positive feedback! I even double-checked with him the next day and made sure he was still cool. He didn't even seem phased, he was more or less like "Sure, it's totally fine!"

I *am* very nervous because my XPMedical is arriving tomorrow and I will finally have the opportunity to wear around him. This gives me a little pit in my belly -- I am DEFINITELY going to wear PJ bottoms over them. I can't go just diaper + v-neck undershirt on the couch just yet!

I wonder if he's going to want to feel it. I could only hope! :rolleyes:
 

Triscuit

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so .. the update:

I received my Abena Super X-Plus in the mail fine and well. I worked over 13 hours yesterday (closing a store, driving a uhaul to move product and fixtures to another store hours away, etc) and I made sure they were there with my bf. He said I received a package, nothing more about it.

So I got home VERY late last night and we just grabbed some food and watched Dexter. I was feeling antsy about what was in the box, but I wanted to check it out on my own without him around. As soon as he passed out downstairs, I decided to go to bed diapered.

I put one on, it was AMAZING. Such a great, great old familiar feeling. And then I got nervous: What if he freaked out when he came up to bed and noticed I was diapered? I just had a bad feeling about it, y'know?

So anywho, I did sleep in my Abena. I was feeling brave, but I kept to my side of the bed all night. In the AM, I bounced up (rather quickly, I may add), and changed out of it. Overall it was an A++++ experience for me that I will continue ...

Then after he woke up, I told him that I went to bed in a diaper as to see if it really interested me. His face changed ... he got really weirded out. **WHAT?!?!** It seemed as though his tune had changed from our original conversation. He said that he's still 'dealing with it.'

I should've known better -- he was more concerned that my "secret" was something far worse, so OF COURSE he wouldn't make a huge deal about being a DL versus me being into getting shat on. How naive of me!

We had words about it: I told him I felt like his tune had changed. As if he's going back on his word about it being 'totally fine.' He expressed that he said it's okay for me to do it on my OWN time, he just didn't want to see me in a diaper.

I admit .. for a moment I pushed back. Just for a moment though, because I felt betrayed. For a moment I just wanted to "win him over" on this.

Not happening. He really isn't into the idea of even being AROUND me in a diaper -- and here I was plotting how I could pull it off in public when we go out! We bickered a little bit. I told him that now I feel awkward about it and he confirmed that it *is* quite weird. I tried to explain that some people LOVE to wear thongs (or g-strings, bikinis, etc) and SOME people love the feel of a diaper as their undergarment. He didn't buy that. Although, I think it's a logical explanation in a way. He said he understands if it's comforting to me, but he still doesn't want to see I'm wearing a diaper. Maybe it has to do with who I am -- I would consider myself very masculine. I have many tattoos (that he hates anyway), and I'm an avid weightlifter/bodybuilder. Maybe he can't make the connection of diapers + all of that work.

I know I need to back off him here: this *is* a strange personal detail. I accept that. It's not the norm. I guess I just expected him to be 100% bowing to my feet after what he did to our relationship.

I'll take any words of encouragement re: the diaper issue. Trying to rebuild his trust by letting him in on my biggest secret was the only option I had at the time to let him know that I wanted to regain a sense of trust again.

Off to the gym I go! :bleh:
 
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Pojo

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I'd agree with that image of a guy with tattoo's and muscular + diapers = ?? But I guess that's not that encouraging for you...
 

IncompleteDude

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I dunno, you said you had major problems in the past, and now this is turning into a wedge issue. Don't be surprised if it doesn't last, unless you do some serious relationship working out. Find some compromise you are both happy with. I mean, if he's saying he's "sort of but not really ok with it" now, because he feels guilty about what he did before, I don't see much of a future. Eventually that guilt will pass, and this issue may become a divide too wide to bridge. I think you need to seriously think about this.

Of course, some people are fine with never showing their partner this side of them, and maybe you're one of those people. You know, acting like it's a secret even if it's not. Or perhaps your partner will get used to it eventually. I don't know.
 
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