The truth hidden in dream

DavyBoy

Impish little boy
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My dreams very often try to tell me about a problem that I don't think about or don't have the words to describe. But this problem is very urgent for me, it makes my life unbearable.

Dream:

In the evening I walk along some road along a cliff, on one side there are tall snowy peaks, on the other side there is an abyss at the bottom of which there are black branches of the forest, the forest goes very far into the distance, and the horizon occupies where the last ray of the setting sun is hidden.

There is some kind of collapse, snow and stones fall down and I am with them. I wake up in a snowdrift, in a small clearing surrounded by the hopeless depth of bare black tree branches. There is a dark forest around on all sides, and only the clear starry sky and the moon become my companions.

A wolf howl is heard in the distance, a flock of crows rises up. I realize that when I fell, I broke both legs. Looking around, I saw a faint glimmer of light among the trees, and I crawled relentlessly towards it for half an hour.

behind me in the snow stretched a large bloody trail, which smoothly disappeared under the thickness of new snow.

I crawled to the hut, it was a small wooden house. I leaned against the wall next to the door and sat with my back to it, opposite me was a woodpile.

And then came the moment where I had to knock on the door and ask for help, but I considered my life unworthy of someone else's attention. So I smoothly fell asleep and died at the entrance.

The dream literally describes the cage in which my inner child is placed. When I want something, I can’t afford it, I was taught from childhood that you shouldn’t show weakness. And by weakness they meant everything that could make my life easier or less terrible.

I was brought up in a society where tenderness and fragility are defined as weakness. In a society where to ask for help means to prove your stupidity.

I lived in such idiocy all my childhood until I realized that this was exactly what I needed all this time. I needed support, attention, care, love, everything that was shamed and denied.

And now when I allow myself to be a child, I still realize that I live in a cruel and terrible world in which I can only allow myself to behave like this when I am alone with myself.

I still experience this lack of tenderness and warmth and I try to make up for it with all the existing forces, but I am not able to even tritely ask for a hug from another person.

Because when you sit in a cage for a very long time, even if you left it, the cage remains in you.
 
F*** society. And especially f*** society's expectations and peer pressure to "grow up" or "be a man" like the only acceptable way to do that is to be a stone cold angry abusive hateful hard ass.


🖕🙄🖕
 
Last edited:
LittleAndAlone said:
F*** society. And especially f*** society's expectations and peer pressure to "grow up" or "be a man" like the only acceptable way to do that is to be a stone cold angry abusive hateful hard ass.


🖕🙄🖕
Absolutely agree with you, but I need something to fight my limits and cross the border of my self-expression.
 
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