the pull of 24/7

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timmywimmy

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As a middle aged AB man I have, over the years, made some overtures and attempts to enact my fantasies with others. On three occasions in my mid twenties I actually paid women to 'mother' me, but the experience of being face to face with someone and dressed was actually very stressful. I hated it. In these cases it was my own inhibitions that were the obstacle; the women didn't care at all, as long as the cash was present at the party.

I am now married with three lovely daughters and under no circumstances would I desert four people whom I love, and towards whom I have duties. I've never dared mention to my wife this side of my sexuality, and as of today at least I am sure I never will - not deliberately, anyway. But at the same time the dream of becoming a permanent AB never seems to go away. I know in my heart of hearts that before meeting my wife I would have been happy to relinquish everything that adulthood involves if I had met a Mummy/Mommy - a mythical figure, I think - and I am also aware that if some horrible mischance deprived me of my wife and kids it would occur to me, shortly thereafter, that I could at least seek to make myself incontinent on a permanent basis, whatever else I might look for.

I think it's only here that our fetishes are in any sense dangerous. I think of 24/7 as a black hole. (A description I've seen in forums elsewhere.) I think the same rule applies to them all - BDSM, AB/DL: if they become permanent, then entire personalities are put at risk. If they are part time, holidays, recreations, then they do no damage; the irony is that it's in my own head, and nobody else's, that the danger lies. ... So the very mixed blessing is that we ABs are only potentially a threat to ourselves.
 

Fire2box

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I think if I ever get a wife I will have to tell her I am AB before we get married. The main reason I don't want to keep anything from her at all just as I wouldn't want her to have to hide anything herself. Marriage to me is built on honesty and trust. Neither person should have to hide anything to their partner if they are in love with each other so much.

As for 24/7 I have gone 24/7 before and its not that hard to hide. I guess if you had a wife and kids at home it would be very hard. But many of us that do go 24/7 already told how girlfriends and wifes or we have none at the time. We also still don't show off our diapers.
 

timmywimmy

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I don't mean just wearing! For me as an AB I mean being dressed AND treated as a baby. Just wearing diapers isn't enough ...

Otherwise I applaud your honesty. Certainly an ideal marriage should be based on honesty. And equally certainly I have never been completely honest with my wife - but on this subject and this subject alone. I suppose what our marriage is based on is trust: neither of us will ever do anything to bring it to an end or damage it. That's as far as I can go ...
 

andrew90

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yeeesh..
a wife and 3 daughters?

must be tough juggling ur family with ur *dlism...
 

timmywimmy

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I hold it off and usually succumb about twice a year, when wife's at work and kids are at school. ...
 

Pojo

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I think it would be best for you to at least come out to your wife about this once your kids are off to college...But I kind of think you should have told your wife before you were married...Because if she didn't accept that, then she might not have been the one
 

dogboy

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Having to tell my wife is how I came to this site. She discovered my diaper order on line. Before we got married, I did tell her about other aspects of my sexual life which were more complicated than my ABism, if you can imagine, and she accepted that quite well. I didn't tell her about my infantilism because I was very ashamed about it, though it was and is a strong part of my life, and something I couldn't walk away from. For the first few years that we were married, I was able to abandon it for the most part. For one, we were starting our family, I was very busy at work, and I was young. But when we moved to Virginia, I had Fridays off from work, so I stayed home and vacuumed the house pretty much in diapers, and that worked out well until I changed jobs. As stress built up because of my wife's declining health, and because opportunities were few for "my time", I simply couldn't hide it any more. Once caught, my wife was very understanding, in part because we love and respect each other unconditionally.

Only you can know what kind of relationship you have with your wife, but I understand the drive that demands satisfaction where ABism is concerned. Tread carefully and good luck. By the way, I agree with Pojo. You might want to wait until the kids are grown and out of the house, just in case things don't go well.
 
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In all honesty, Being 24/7 is not special. I am an AB. when I was 19, and since I had a job and a credit card, my parents didn't like my fetish, but I didn't care. I wore to work, school and at home 24/7 with little difficulty (Abena X plus were really easy to hide with cargo pants) While it IS nice, it definitely loses the fun behind it all. Today its more of an unwind thing I do 2-3 times a week, and its much less expensive.

I'd find it very difficult for it to stay "as special" while being 24/7, and as the OP said, there can be issues with others around you.
 

avery

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i think making the decision to wear diapers 24/7 is a horrible idea. there are too many sacrifices that have to be made, and it turns being a DL into a part of your identity rather than just something you do.

nevertheless, it does have a strong allure. every time i have an opportunity to wear diapers nonstop for a couple of days i leap at the opportunity, and i hope i'll be able to go for a solid week or two at some point in the near future. there's something about it that just feels so right. it's a completely different experience then just wearing one once in a while.

it's hard to know how much i should give into the urge and how much i should resist. i don't want to start rearranging my life to accomodate long stretches of non-stop diaper wearing, but it's something i DO want to be able to do every once in a while -- maybe a week or two every couple of years. and i won't deny that wearing 24/7 is sort of an appealing fantasy. it IS kind of a black hole: once you start prioritizing diapers over friends and hobbies and work and other aspects of real life it's hard to know where to stop.
 
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daria7483

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I think it would be best for you to at least come out to your wife about this once your kids are off to college...But I kind of think you should have told your wife before you were married...Because if she didn't accept that, then she might not have been the one
Yeah, I think it's a bit late to tell her now. I don't see any scenario where it goes well. She either freaks out and wants him gone, or she is really hurt that he hid it from her all this time.

I might have agreed with timmywimmy's post six months ago (about 24/7 being a black hole) but I don't know. I know some people who wear 24/7 and seem to do just fine, for now anyway. Obviously your girlfriend/boyfriend/spouse would have to approve of it or the relationship would go downhill pretty fast. But what happens if that relationship ends? Do you try to go back to using the toilet in hopes of attracting another partner more easily, or do you stick with the diapers and look for someone who is just fine with someone who wears full time? And do you try to tell friends and potential dates that you are incontinent so they'll be more likely to accept you, or tell them about your fetish?

But if nothing else you can go back to using the toilet again, right? Isn't it just like re-potty-training yourself?
 
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alaninnc

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I have been wearing off and on for a long time. I am not 24/7 more occassioanl wearer when I jst want to unwind and relax. I have been dating a ladcy friend and have been considering when this discussion will come up.
 

Fire2box

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I don't think its to late for him to tell his wife but its his choice to make not ours. I also think he already has his mind set of not telling her and if she does find out it will be by her own doing and what not. Of course that might make her even more hurt then him waiting to finally tell her.

I guess thats how I would feel anyways. I stick with the saying "better late then never".
----------------
Now playing: Nirvana - Come As You Are
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Mysterious

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I think 24/7 will have at least a little pull on everyone, however many are able to say, sounds like bad idea, (as it can complicate some things) and are able to say no. There have been times that I thought about it but then think, hey, what's the point? It'll get boring after a while, consume money, and you worry more about others finding you out. Too much for me to worry about if I were to do that for it to even be worthwhile.
 
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gamebaby

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well if i tell my wife ill probly be too embarised to do so. but i would actualy use some of those things like eharmany to find some one who understads. but i dont
need to be babys so ill be fine with out that.
 
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How old are your kids? That changes what advice I'll give to you.

She will get over it if she is sad that you hid it from her for this long, you however, will just want to 24/7 more and more. If you want to 24/7 AB??, first of all, sounds like that would be a bad idea, and I'm sure that your Wife would do it occasionally, however, not 24/7.

I see no problem your wife would have with 24/7 wearing, if she loved you unconditionally and was at least somewhat accepting. What does she say when she reads about some deviant online or in a book or in a magazine/paper? Or when she sees something on the news? I think you should look into that, see if you can somehow show her something indirectly on the news or something. I don't recommend showing her info on maybe other fetishes, maybe she would get on your computer and see your history.

Just my thoughts.
 

Darkfinn

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Take it from someone who is doing it... wearing diapers 24/7 ain't all that bad. I realise that there is a huge "extremist" stigma that comes along with it... but the people I'm friends with on here can tell you I'm a pretty much normal guy. I have a job... I have a girlfriend (who is diapered too) and I live my life like anyone else... less bathroom breaks... but it's not that big of a deal.

What I don't understand is people who decide to hide their AB/DL side from a significant other... especially a life-partner/wife/husband/whatever. If your partner truly loves you for who you are they will accept you and all your quirks. Hell... they might even join in and find out that it is a nice way to relieve some stress and have a good time.

If nothing else... you need to be honest with your partner. Don't keep secrets or hide things from them... it will only end up making you both miserable.
 
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Daria, I'm quite certain its not possible to untrain yourself, period. If you don't hold it in at all during the day, at night your body still will and that's enough for the muscles to stay strong. Your control could probably weaken a bit, capacity wise however.
 

crinklyjas

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I have a policy of no secret no lies with pretty much everyone. that is very helpful!

Anyway, I am semi inco and when understress i do end up wearing 24/7. this is fine for a few days, but does get painful after a while.

^licks^

Jamie & Lion
 

Fire2box

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I have a policy of no secret no lies with pretty much everyone. that is very helpful!

Anyway, I am semi inco and when understress i do end up wearing 24/7. this is fine for a few days, but does get painful after a while.

^licks^

Jamie & Lion
I support open honesty too. Though I will keep me being a AB/DL away from most other people. But if I do have a wife one day she will know I am AB/DL even before we say "I do" and put the rings on each others fingers. I can handle her not wanting to take part in it and can even handle putting it away for a while. But I won't try and get rid of something that has been with me since I was 3 years old. If she truly loves me she and me will be fine with that option.
 

Jeremiah

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I am not exactly sure of the purpose for this thread, but am confident that Timmy Wimmy did not plan to discuss why he has not told his wife within this thread. If I am wrong, the OP will surely correct me. I think this thread was intended to discuss 24/7 and the possible negative side effects.
I think of 24/7 as a black hole. (A description I've seen in forums elsewhere.) I think the same rule applies to them all - BDSM, AB/DL: if they become permanent, then entire personalities are put at risk. If they are part time, holidays, recreations, then they do no damage; the irony is that it's in my own head, and nobody else's, that the danger lies. ... So the very mixed blessing is that we ABs are only potentially a threat to ourselves.
For this site, IMHO, 24/7 usually only refers to diapers, and not to TB or AB activities. I certainly agree that extended time periods of involvement can have negative side effects. When such things start limiting where a person travels or what activities may be involved, the person has taken it too far. For me, diapers have been worn to bed too much. Now, I have to consider diapers into my plans every time staying overnight away from home occurs. Several times, I have declined invitations to go somewhere with friends because I thought diapers could not be brought without someone noticing. For *B activities, 24/7 would be almost impossible for an adult. The BDSM lifestyle with quickly put a personality at risk if taken to extremes. When the sub no longer thinks about what they want and only considers the Dom, it has gone too far.


Daria, I'm quite certain its not possible to untrain yourself, period. If you don't hold it in at all during the day, at night your body still will and that's enough for the muscles to stay strong. Your control could probably weaken a bit, capacity wise however.
We already have several threads discussing this. It is entirely possible to retrain the bladder to no longer be potty trained. Of course, the time required varies greatly depending upon several factors.
 
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