The Nightmare of Eternal Youth


Est. Contributor
  1. Diaper Lover
Writers note/warning: The first chapter of this story has a little bit of depicted blood/gore in it. I’ve tried to minimize this, but a little bit was necessary to get our character where she is.

I realize the outcome in situations below might not be the same as they would in real life, in fact they are probably quite different. However, I have little experience with hospitals and how they operate, and though I do the research I can, I know I have taken some liberties. In fact, there’s some things I straight up made up.

Of course, I would love feedback. I am a rather bad story writer I feel, but one must practice in order to become better at something. If you feel something should or would happen one way, go ahead and tell me. Again, I have limited knowledge of the health and social systems.

Let's begin.

Chapter 1

My name is Athena. My life is different from most. Before I was Athena, I was someone else. I don’t remember much about the person I was before, and I haven’t looked into it very much either. I feel that part of my life should stay separate for reasons I’ll elaborate on. (Note, I won't be referred to as Athena until a number of chapter in, due to some circumstances I could not control.)

This story is going to be written like a journal, however I will add in parts that I found out about from other people later on now and then.

I’ll start on the first day I can clearly remember. I was an adult, probably 22 or so, and I was on a day trip to the big city, exploring it by myself, like I seemed to like to do. A man called for me by my name(the name I no longer remember).

I responded, saying “What is it? How do you know my name? Are you stalking me?”

He said “No, nothing like that. I simply want to offer you a gift. Have you ever wanted immortality?”

I now saw this man was either crazy, or doing some sort of prank. I decided to humor him, and said “It sounds nice, but what’s the catch? Do I have to sell my soul to the Devil, or work for you for eternity?”

He seemed a little offended, and said “No, of course not. This is a gift for you, you never have to do anything for it.”

I asked for more information, saying “What if I want to die? It would suck to be stuck on this rock after all the humans die, and the sun devours the solar system.”

He elaborated, telling me that I was not invincible, i just would be immune to aging and less susceptible to illness and disease.

Laughing, I told him I would accept his gift, and he seemed very happy, telling me I would not age another day from now on.

I walked away, entertained by this little interaction. After that, I went about my day, eventually returning to my house in a smaller city a good drive away. I completely forgot about the “gift” I had recieved, until I woke up in the middle of that night feeling strange, and rather sick.

I quickly ran to the bathroom, thinking I was about to throw up. I felt a strange energy inside me, it was as if I was glowing, though I wasn’t in the mirror, it felt like it. It’s difficult to explain, but I’d never felt anything like it before, or any day since.

I suddenly had to puke, and threw my face over the toilet. What came out wasn’t throw up though, but blood. a huge amount of blood. I kept throwing up several times, until it seemed to stop.

I then felt a huge amount of pain all over my body. I looked down, and tears were opening all over my skin. I remembered the “gift” I had been given the day before, and I started to think he had been telling the truth somehow, but definitely not the whole truth.

I started falling apart. I mean, literally. I won’t go into detail, but let’s just say I wouldn’t be surprised if it was the most pain anyone alive has ever felt. I wanted to scream, but the parts of the body to do that were not currently functioning. I was losing height. Looking down, I saw my body shrink, and suddenly my eyes stopped functioning. This was obviously going to be a very painful immortality, and possibly extremely short lived.

I finally regained my sight, and the pain started to go away, and the cuts in my skin had mostly closed.

But it wasn’t my body anymore. I was quite shorter. I looked in the mirror, and was shocked at what I saw. I was no longer the tall adult I had been, I was now in the body of a girl no more than 8 years old. I now had blue eyes. I don’t remember what color they were before, but they were definitely never blue.

I looked down again at my body, my skin was much different than it had been before. More smooth. I was also incredibly underweight, like I’d been starving for months. I looked back into the mirror, and saw my old self. Mirroring my movements, as if I was still that person. Since I was so much shorter, I could tell I was not.

What happened next was… odd. The mirror, and the rest of the bathroom faded away. But my old self was still in front of me, mirroring my movements. We stood in an infinite blackness, with light coming from an unexplained source.

All my friends, family, and other people I knew in the days of the old me, appeared in circles around us. I looked at them, and they started to transform. Some into demonic looking monsters, other into ghostly like featureless figures. Others didn’t transform, but now appeared to me as a nightmare even so. My memories started to fade.

The ones that didn’t were transformed into nightmares, where I was chased by the people I had loved, who now wanted to catch, and harm me.

I looked at my “reflection”, but that part of me was now gone. I stood alone against these monsters.

I immediately tried to run away from them, but I ran into the walls of the bathroom I could not see. After a few minutes of sitting there, with my new hands over my new eyes, wanting these now nightmarish “friends” to go away, trying to not listen to their taunts.

Soon, the taunts stopped. I opened my eyes, and saw the bathroom I had been in before. My new, little self was in the mirror, as I should be.

I noticed the room was now splattered with blood and other gore. My clothes were also covered in blood, and I now only had my now very large shirt on, since my other clothes had fallen off due to being too big. had no idea what to do next, or who to go to. Everyone I knew, far as I could see it, would want to kill or harm me.

However, I did not have much time to think about that. I felt the energy once again in me, the same as it had felt before I’d “transformed”. What would happen next? Was I going to transform into a two year old or something? Would this keep going until I no longer existed?

Suddenly I felt the energy surge through my body, all of it going into my left arm. In that moment, it exploded. My entire new left arm, from the shoulder down, was now just blood splattered on the walls. I could feel little nuggets of bone that had been driven into my side. Something had gone terribly wrong. I sat there for a few seconds crying, while blood poured out of my shoulder.

I quickly regained my comprehension, knowing I had to do something quick. I immediately grabbed a towel and pushed it against my shoulder, trying to minimize the blood loss. With great pain, I moved toward my cell phone I’d used before. I could not recall the password. Luckily, all smartphones come with an emergency call button. It was rather difficult to operate the cell phone while using my arm to hold my shoulder shut.

However, I couldn’t remember what number the emergency hotline was. It had to be three numbers, but somehow my mind had lost so much information.

I opened the front door, knowing I’d have to find someone, anyone who could help me and call the doctors. I remembered there was a house of Catholic monks around the block. I had not had much interaction with them, which must be why I wasn’t deathly afraid of them like most people I remembered.

It was pouring rain, which was not the optimal weather to be running with your arm bleeding out on a body you had never run in before.

I got to the house, and banged on the door with my only elbow. I tried to scream for help, but I could speak no louder than a mouse. I felt they couldn’t hear me. I don’t know how much time passed, it couldn’t have been long, but it felt like an eternity. No one would help me. I was going to die, with only moments to live. Everything faded to black.

I was told soon after I fainted, the monks came to the door, immediately trying to stop the blood flow, and calling 911.

Chapter 2

I slept for weeks, and had many nightmares. Running from the monsters, and getting caught. That could sum up most of my dreams. It sounds simple, but they terrify me to this day.

I finally woke up in a hospital. There were bandages all around my chest and abdomen, and I was wearing a diaper. I supposed that was because I can’t usually sleepwalk well enough to use the bathroom. I also had an IV in my right arm, and some respiratory thing on my face.

I then noticed there were people around me. Paranoia set in.

The man to my left said to me “Hey there. How are you doing? I’m Doctor Hawthorne.” I had a powerful feeling that these people just wanted to hurt me, like the people in my nightmares did.

I looked to my right, and suddenly the people there changed. They were demonic looking, with the face of a skull, and glowing orbs of light where their eyes should be. They were seven feet tall, and had large horns. I looked around me, and they were all now like this. I scrambled back into the wall, feeling very weak, powered by adrenaline. I wanted to get away, through the door or the window, no matter where it went. But I was surrounded.

The Monsters grabbed me, and the one who, before he dropped his disguise, and one started talking in a deep voice. His mouth didn’t move as it should, I could just tell he was talking.

“Your immortal soul will forever be the source of the quenching of our thirst. Do not resist weakling, for you will only make your existance more miserable. You fools meddle where you belong not, and forever shall pay.”

I was screaming in terror during this whole sequence, trying to get free from the demons holding me with their bony hands. Another demon came through the crowd with a large dagger, saying “Let us begin the feast.”, and he stabbed me in my right shoulder, and I fainted, presumably from blood loss while the demons, or vampires, if that was what they were, “feasted”.

Doctor Hawthorne(I would know him well in later years, when he’d tell me about this) just finished sedating me. He told a nurse to call the Pediatric psych ward, they needed to help us with a patient. Another doctor remarked “I told you she isn’t ready yet.” Doctor Hawthorne ignored him, and told another nurse to clean me up. I’d panicked a fair amount. Doctor Hawthorne had not seen anyone as terrified as I seemed.

As he left the hospital room, a woman wearing your typical social worker outfit stopped him. CPS was pretty intent on finding this girl’s parents, or kidnappers. Whoever had done this to her. The woman asked him “When are you going to wake her again? There could be other children where she came from.”

Doctor Hawthorne replied “We will wake her when she is ready. She can’t tell us anything if she’s that scared.

The woman said “I know they must have hurt her physically, certainly emotionally, but to this extent…”

Hawthorne looked back at me, and said “I just hope she isn’t having a nightmare right now.”

I woke up again a few times over the next few days, usually I was only awake enough to listen however, not to move much. Most of the occasions were when the nurses were changing my diapers. Each time my arm, legs, and head was restrained. There was a tube going up my nose, for feeding I suppose.

Finally, I woke up enough. The same doctor was there who talked to me before. I was now in a much better mental state, and could discern friend from foe. I looked at Doctor Hawthorne.

He said “Oh, you’re awake! How are you doing?”

Doctor Hawthorne was probably thirty or so, and had a head of thick brown hair. He seemed friendly enough.

I opened my mouth and started to speak, but I couldn’t say anything more than “I-”. I couldn’t speak. It was not that my throat was sore or anything like that, I’d forgotten how to make words with my mouth. This was very strange, since I still could think in coherent sentences.

He said “Can you speak?”. I shook my head. He told me “That’s OK. You don’t need to. Is there a way you could tell us your name? We’ve been calling you Janie, but we’d love to know your real name.”
I shook my head again.

He asked “Can you remember your name?” I once again, shook my head. There was a lot of stuff I couldn’t remember, but knew I should be able to.

He asked me “Is it OK if we call you Janie, at least for now?”. I nodded my head. Finally, a “yes”.

He then asked “Janie, can you remember who did this to you?” I shook my head again, of course. He also asked if I could remember anything about my parents. Same answer. He seemed dejected.

Then, he asked me “Janie, can you lift two fingers for me?” I nodded, but looked at the restraint holding my arm. He let it go, then I raised my right arm, holding out my index finger and my middle finger. He smiled, and said “Good job! Now, are you hungry?” I nodded again. I’d been weeks since I’d eaten real food. He handed me a menu, and said “Can you read this?”

I looked at the menu, trying to read it. But I couldn’t. I could make out the letters, but somehow the process of putting them together into words wasn’t working. I shook my head reluctantly.

He told me “That’s okay. Just point to the picture of the food you want, and we’ll bring it to you.”
I pointed at the picture of Pancakes, and he told me they’d cook it right up.

While I waited, he “tested” me by asking me to hold up fingers, nod in sequence, and asking me simple math questions like 4 plus 4.

He then told me about what happened to me after I got to the hospital. They’d found fragments of bones embedded in my left side, and had to do surgery to remove those, in addition to the surgery for my arm. He neglected to mention the “episode” that I had when I first woke up.

Then he said “Sorry about the diaper. But now that you’re awake, we can probably remove it. Do you think you can use the bathroom?” I looked at him with a look that said “Of course I can.”, and nodded. He smiled, and said “Alright then.” He looked out the door, and motioned to the nurse that was nearby.

He said “Do you mind if Nurse Anderson comes in here? She’s gonna help you get cleaned up.” I shook my head. If I could handle Doctor Hawthorne, I could handle most people, I thought.

Nurse Anderson came in. She was young, and upbeat. Probably twenty five or so, with long blonde hair.

She said “How’re you doing Janie?”. I didn’t answer. Doctor Hawthorne whispered something to her, then said to me “I’ll come to see you after you’ve eaten your breakfast, OK?” I nodded to him, and he waved, closing the door as he left.

Nurse Anderson said “So, I bet you’re ready to get that tube out of your nose, right?” I nodded, wanting to become wireless as soon as possible. She proceeded to start pulling out the feeding tube.

She started talking to me, saying things like how great it was to see me awake, and how I was so brave. I didn’t know why she called me brave, but I had no way to ask her. After that, she removed the diaper I was wearing and helped me into a hospital gown, and showed me a number of buttons next to the bed that could be used to call a nurse or doctor quickly.

Finally, the food arrived, and it looked like a feast to me. Before leaving, the nurse told me I could have as much as I wanted. I wanted a lot. I ate it quickly, trying to not let my mind wander. I was still deathly afraid of my nightmares.

I was done too soon for my liking, leaving me just staring at my clean plates. Soon after, Doctor Hawthorne and a different nurse came back in, the nurse just getting the dishes I had.

The Doctor asked me if I thought I could walk, and I nodded. I’d done it plenty before, since I changed. He helped me out of bed, and I managed to stand by myself for a second, before falling over. My leg’s muscles had atrophied pretty badly. He asked if I needed to use the toilet, and I said no. Then, he helped me get back up, and asked if I wanted to try walking into the general area of the hospital, to the scales and whatnot. I wanted to see anything but this room, so I nodded.

It took a while, but I managed to start walking towards the door, while holding Doctor Hawthorne’s hand for support. I suppose the walking I’d done before was powered by adrenaline. As we got into the hallway, walking towards the scales, I got a little nervous from all the people. But I felt a little bit of security with Doctor Hawthorne there, so it wasn’t a big problem in that moment.

The scale was only a few doors down the hallway. Doctor Hawthorne had me stand on the scale. It weighed me at 40 pounds. After he had me stand tall, he also measured my height. Just under 4 feet.

He commented that I was underweight, but I had gotten a lot better since I first came in. I was already quite ready to go back to the room, so when he asked me if I wanted to go back I nodded enthusiastically.

When we were halfway back to the room, I heard water hitting the floor. I looked down, and to my dismay, I was wetting on the floor. I hadn’t even felt it happen. I then noticed there was also a brown lump between my feet as well. How had I not noticed even that? Had I even forgot my potty training? I felt sure I could control myself before… whatever was before.

Doctor Hawthorne noticed immediately of course. I started to tear up. He assured me it isn’t a problem, and it’ll be fine. I could see his shoes were now wet from the puddle I was now standing in. I felt bad for ruining them. He nodded at a nurse, then picked me up, and quickly carried me into my room.

He put me down on my bed, and asked me if I was okay. I sniffled, and nodded reluctantly. He told me it is totally okay for me to have accidents, and talked about how he’d had lots of accidents when he was a kid.

Then, he went on to tell me that they would do some tests to see if I had damage where I control that kind of thing, and I nodded to tell him that sounds like a good idea. He asked if I wanted to wear diapers again for now, and I nodded. They would be better than the scene I’d just probably caused. Nurse Anderson came back, with a clean diaper and a bunch of wipes.

Doctor Hawthorne told me to press the button if I needed him or another doctor. I nodded, and he closed the door again. Nurse Anderson helped me out of my now-dirty hospital gown, and cleaned me up, then put the new diaper on me.

I felt overwhelmed at all the problems I had run into that day. I remembered what happened, or what I thought had happened to me before. I was so happy I was now with people who seemed to care about me, but there was a powerful sadness in me that I could not see the source of. I started to sob softly, as the nurse had just finished washing her hands.

She came over, and sat next to me on the bed, and said “You’re okay, you’re safe now.” I leaned against her, again trying to talk, “I-” only to get cut off by my inability to speak again. I started crying much harder, and sunk my face into her.

She comforted me the best she could, hugging me, telling me I’m fine, I didn’t do anything wrong, I’m safe now. I’d needed to cry like this for a long time. I wanted to sleep again, but I had had enough sleep to last me a year it felt.

I sat with Nurse Anderson for maybe twenty or thirty minutes, until I calmed down. She told me she had to go back to work. She turned on the TV, and said I should watch some cartoons to keep my mind occupied, and gave me some tissues.I hugged her again(as best as I could), and she reluctantly left.

I tried to watch the TV, but mostly I ended up just staring at the wall behind it.

Chapter 3

An hour after Nurse Anderson left, another doctor came in. He introduced himself as Doctor Ryan, and he was from the hospital’s pediatric Psych ward. He said “Janie, I’m going to ask you some questions, then you show me the finger that corresponds with your response. With me so far?

I nodded.

He continued, “Of course, if it’s a yes or no question you can just nod or shake your head. like that.”

He asked me several dozen questions, most of them about my dreams, if I’d had hallucinations or nightmares, delusions or illusions. He asked about how I was treated before I was found, but I had few answers for him there. I answered correctly all the questions I could. When he asked if I’d been hurt by my family, I told him yes. I had memories of them doing so, even though it never happened. There were some questions I could barely hold myself together while answering.

Eventually, he finished, thanking me for answering his questions, and he knew this was all very hard for me. Just like everyone else, he left me.

I had lunch, and afterwards, and while she was changing my diaper, the nurse told me Doctor Ryan would be back later to help me talk.

It wasn’t long after that that he did come, and we worked on pronouncing letters. I managed to get A pretty well, as well as B, and C. D took a bit, and I didn’t manage to pronounce E quite right that day. We finished up, and he mentioned I was making an amazing amount of progress. Yay, more praise.

I fell asleep at around 7:30 that evening. I was already tired somehow, despite just sitting in bed all day. I think I had nightmares that night, but they weren't too bad it seemed.

When I got up, everything was changed. I must have slept for an extremely long time, because I was now in a ruin. The hospital looked like it’d been abandoned for centuries.

I climbed out of bed, and looked out the window. The city was overgrown, full of vegetation. It was as if humanity disappeared overnight. There were holes in the ceiling, it seemed this was now the top floor, and all the levels above had crumbled away.

I managed to get to the door, and somehow pulled the door open. It didn’t quite open, it just fell on the floor, and broke. I just stepped over it, into the hallway. I was startled when I saw some bones on the floor in the corner. There was a bird’s nest inside a rib cage. I was mostly just happy there were no monsters here. I walked towards the exit door, which was not really a door so much as an opening now. I was almost there, when I bumped into an invisible object, and fell backwards.

I looked up, and I'd bumped into a nurse. The hospital was not actually a ruin, it was exactly as it had been before I’d gone to bed.

The nurse said to me “Honey, where’s your gown?”, as she helped me back up. I didn’t notice, I was only wearing my bandages and diaper in the hallway. The nurse wretched a little, and peeked into the back of my diaper. I could smell it now, I needed changing. She said to me “C’mon, let’s get you cleaned up” as she took my hand and helped me back to my room.

On the way, I saw a little boy, probably 7 or 8, holding his nose, and smirking at me. This did not lighten my mood.

The nurse finished helping me back into my room. I was incredibly slow and weak. I don’t know why, but i seem more capable when I’m having hallucinations. Though I was now sore from over-exerting myself. She had me sit on the bed as she got out the changing mat and other materials needed for this operation, then motioned for me to lie down on the mat. I noted while watching her change me that it would be very difficult to change myself if I needed to, especially with only my one arm. She then helped me put on my hospital gown, and asked me what I wanted for breakfast.

While waiting for my food, I sat leaned against the window, and stared out of it. It was a bleak, pouring rain day. My hallucination had had it sunny, and very warm. I prefered that.

I spent a lot of time staring out the window. Thinking of things, trying to remember people, places, or things I used to know.

Soon after, Doctor Hawthorne knocked on the door, and came in. “How are you doing Janie?” he asked. He’d brought a small wheelchair. “I told you yesterday we’d do some tests to see how you got hurt, remember?” he asked.

I nodded.

“Well, I set up an appointment, and there’s a place that does these tests not far from here. They’re waiting for us. Do you want to go?”

I nodded, and started to get up. He came over, and helped me stand, then had me sit in the wheelchair. Walking wasn’t very fun, so I was glad I didn’t have to do that right now.

On the way there, I kept feeling frightened by seeing certain strangers that reminded me of people I used to know. I covered my eyes, trying not to cause a scene. We finally arrived, and I met Doctor Ingram. She was going to see if I had nerve damage, apparently.

She had me sit in some X-Ray machine, and asked me “Janie, are there any muscles you’re having problems controlling?”

I looked down, at my diaper area. She asked “Any ones other than those?”

I shook my head. She told me to try to go wet or dirty, so I pushed the muscles I knew that did that. I felt nothing happen. Doctor Ingram said “Yeah… Okay.” and had me get out of the machine.

She handed me a small device, and said “Janie, I’m going to poke you with this cold rod. When you can feel it, push the button as soon as you can. Try it now.”

I pushed it. Not a hard task.

They put a blindfold on me, and she started poking me. I felt it all over my body, but eventually it was mostly around my groin. She started to peel off my diaper, and poke me there, but I didn’t feel it as much.

She told me she was done, and I could take the blindfold off. I looked at her. She looked puzzled. Doctor Hawthorne asked her, “So what did you decide?”

I looked at him, and saw his head was now just a skull, with the same glowing “eyes”

I shrieked, and fell over. I scampered away from him, now quite frightened again. I started moaning, trying to not look like I was crying, not doing a great job though. I found a corner, and curled up in a ball there, trying to not look at anyone.

Doctor Ingram came over to me, to try to assure me it wasn’t real, whatever I saw. When she touched me, I jumped, and she told me “You’re fine, don’t worry.” I eventually calmed enough so someone could take me back to the room, though it wasn’t Doctor Hawthorne.

Doctor Ryan came back later, and we worked on the ABCs again. He also tried to teach me some ability to withstand the hallucinations I was seeing, though they only knew so much about what I was experiencing, since my way of communication was quite limited.

We worked on that for a long while, and by the time we were done, it was time for dinner. After eating, and a diaper change, I quickly fell asleep.

They didn’t tell me until later, due to my little issue I had there, but they’d figured out a fair bit of the nerves around my buttocks and groin were damaged, and I couldn’t feel them anymore. This made it harder to feel when I’d used my diaper, and that was going to happen for a while too, because I could not control the muscles for that either. It was quite likely the nerves for that were damaged too.

How, they did not know.

End of Chapter 3

I know where I'm going in this story, but I'd love to hear what people think of it, and what they think could happen next.
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  1. Diaper Lover
I applaud you for coming up with something different and original. The why your protagonist is in diapers is a bit far fetched but what the heck, you are writing far out fiction so plausible is optional. On the plus side you have avoided most of the classic traps, no wall of text, info dump or bad pacing.


Est. Contributor
  1. Diaper Lover
I applaud you for coming up with something different and original. The why your protagonist is in diapers is a bit far fetched but what the heck, you are writing far out fiction so plausible is optional. On the plus side you have avoided most of the classic traps, no wall of text, info dump or bad pacing.

The reason is the "wave of energy" that made her arm not there anymore also did damage in some of the rest of her body before being released the way it was.

Maybe it's a little far fetched, but it felt like the way to do it.