The Joy is Fading

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Est. Contributor
  1. Adult Baby
  2. Diaper Lover
I know I don't post on here often, but I appreciate having a place I can come and read about others like myself.

I just thought I'd bring up something to see if others experience the same and, probably more so, just try to put it down in writing or get it off my chest, since I know "binging and purging" can be a normal thing amongst ABDL's.

It seems like most of my growing up, I always wanted to get rid of my wants/needs as far as AB/DL stuff goes. I've had times where I've kind of gotten out the "habit", if you will, but there was always the desire there and always a great excitement whenever I got my hands on some diapers

As of late, I almost feel the opposite. I finally moved out on my own about a year and a half ago (with my girlfriend who is ABDL supportive), and have been able to buy more diapers since I don't have to worry about anyone finding them. I've also had the financial means to purchase diapers much, much more now than I ever have. Now that I have the money to buy stacks of diapers and try some "real" adult diapers and things like Nuk 5's I feel like the desire has kind of gone away.

As I type this, I think it may be less about the desire going away, as I still want to purchase and collect diapers, but the feeling I get when I wear, try a new diaper, or put in a paci is just not the same. It's kind of confusing, really. I always wanted to get rid of this, yet now that it feels to be slipping away I feel somewhat empty inside.

Has anyone else gone through this? What did you do? Did you let your ABDL side just go away, or did keep doing it anyways? Anything you can recommend to get that "spark" back?

Thanks to everyone here for creating such a great community. When I feel like I'm the only one, it feels great to get on a site where there are tons of active people talking about being the exact same kind of person, and going through the same things that I am.

EDIT/Fixed an embarrassing incorrect use of "hear" instead of "here" :oops:
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Based on my own experience and experiences of other people I've read about on the forum, this is actually very common. The more you indulge, the less exciting or precious it will feel. On the first few occasions you may be so excited you won't be able to fall asleep. But if you wear every day or often enough, it becomes a natural part of your life and not that special anymore. It still feels comfortable and you still like to do it, but the novelty is gone, as the scarcity is gone.

The often recommended solution is to indulge less or even take a break for a while and most likely the desire will come back sooner or later (for example one day you'll see a diaper commercial on TV and suddenly all you can think about is diapers, again). Whether to actually take the break or how much to reduce your diaper time in order to reignite the desire, that's up to you, I think it's best to just follow your feelings.

BabyTobyABDL said:
I always wanted to get rid of this, yet now that it feels to be slipping away I feel somewhat empty inside.

Maybe this is a sign of acceptance? Like you start to acknowledge that the effects this thing has on your life are not just negative, but there may also be good parts you don't want to give up?
Avalanche said:
Maybe this is a sign of acceptance? Like you start to acknowledge that the effects this thing has on your life are not just negative, but there may also be good parts you don't want to give up?

Yes, I suppose this is probably it. It's interesting how feelings change when acceptance comes. I guess you spend so much time and energy trying to deny your needs and desires that once you accept them you just don't know what to do with yourself lol.

I suppose giving it up for a while would probably bring the spark back. But while the spark isn't there, I don't know that I really want to just give it up. It's really a complicated feeling. I never thought I would come to terms with this, but now guess I have and I don't know how to come to terms with how it feels. I guess the grass is always greener!!

BabyTobyABDL said:
But while the spark isn't there, I don't know that I really want to just give it up.

It has become a comfort thing. No longer "omg I'm wearing..." but rather "it's comfortable/feels better to wear...".

I'm the same, not so much with diapers (that's still quite infrequent and special for me), but with panties and other girls clothes (I live alone and work from home and basically dress as a girl most of the time). Sometimes I regret that the excitement and the feelings of discovery are no longer there, but I wouldn't want to go back to boy clothes for a month just to (maybe) get those feelings back.

However, sometimes when I return from just one week holiday or family visit when I'm mostly in boy mode (except panties), I'm really looking forward to being home and wearing all my "regular" stuff again and it feels a bit more special for a while. I also think that these things we wear (like diapers) may be associated with the feeeling of being at home, relaxing and having our own peace time - things which are very important for me, as I am quite introverted and need some comfort and solitude after a few days among people.

So perhaps the break doesn't need to be very long. Perhaps you can try to avoid diapers just for a week and maybe you'll see at least part of the spark back.
I think Avalanche has a point: Once your initial "exploratory" desires are satisfied, there's less excitement in continuing the practice. I found that the next step was to actively involve my girlfriend (at the time) who was perfectly willing to diaper me and "play baby." That certainly brought back the spark ... not in a sexual sense, but because I was very curious to see how she'd approach taking care of me. If your girlfriend is "supportive" beyond accepting your AB/DL tendencies, it might be interesting to see if involving her would change your desire or enthusiasm for embracing this aspect of your personality.
I think this is just plain normal.

When we talk about the purge/binge cycle, we tend to think of throwing everything ABDL related out or buying several ABDL items at once. In truth, there is a great deal of variation. I have never gone through a 'true' purge/binge cycle but I often go several weeks without much ABDL wearing or activities (except for ASDISC, I try to go on-line everyday) and other times will go into a binge cycle.

The causes are as varied as are ABDLs. You may just be in a 'purge' cycle.

I really wouldn't worry too much about it.
I have been there. the AB desires fad for a while, and like most people I would throw out every thing AB, and in a while the AB desires come back stronger.
As MAXX said keep them for latter.
This is part of the acceptance and understanding part of the fetish. I think it was Cottontail that said it two years ago, as self acceptance is gained the binge and purge cycle turns into an ebb and flow cycle. SO you do hit points where one does not have the desire to wear and you just take a break. Then when the urge comes again you indulge, but the important part is that your are in control and there is no shame and guilt involved because you have and understanding of the fetish.
Thanks for all the advice! It's so great to have a place to share feelingss and gain some insight from others. The diapers and pacis are currently in the top of the closet for a while and I'm just going to try and live "normal" until the desire is back, whether that be tomorrow or next month. I guess the biggest thing is just accepting whatever feelings come, whether that be ABDL desires, or "normal person" desires.

Thanks for the input everyone!
I'm back into rediscovering being a little after a nearly 7-8 year break. I fell into the lifestyle during my most stressful time in my life. But I just went out this evening and got a pack of Goodnites, and I'm slowly ebbing back into it all again.

We all need a break from even our most favorite things.
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