The Idea of Virginity

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Dawes

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And although I recognize that rape is not consensual sex, it's still sex, so if you've been raped, you've had sex, and therefore you aren't a virgin.
I can definitely see where you're coming from with this, Daria -- however, in the interest of keeping within the current debate (while maybe striking a little on the outside), I personally disagree.

Sex and intercourse, to me, needs to be accepted and agreed upon by both parties for it to be considered sexual activity. If a man forces himself upon a woman (or vice-versa) without her consent, then what he is engaging in is a travesty for which the victimized party should not need to socially suffer after the molestation itself. To say that a woman was raped, and is thus not a virgin, completely tears away her ability to feel "pure", although it is my belief that a person who has suffered in this manner can and should be allowed to strive past all the ways the intercouse being forced upon her made her feel.

Just because someone else has tried to break and innocent person's world does not mean that the victim need be distracted from their ability to be innocent. To me, sex is a lot more than just the physical interaction -- and if the emotional connection and the mental connection is not there, the physical act means nothing.

(I always do love a good debate or back-and-forth discussion, so you'll have to excuse me in advance for jumping on that part of your post. ^ ^)
 

quattrus

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It's like buying something new or used. The new one is the "virgin" one... in its original box, perfect, untouched, covered with its cellophane, like it came out of the factory.

When you're a (male) virgin, figuratively it's like you have... well... your willy still in the cellophane! :biggrin: (ehm... maybe you just had some "quality inspections" by yourself just to test the product and be sure the "factory" did well its job... but this doesn't change the fact that it's still brand new).
 

Squigma

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I can definitely see where you're coming from with this, Daria -- however, in the interest of keeping within the current debate (while maybe striking a little on the outside), I personally disagree.

Sex and intercourse, to me, needs to be accepted and agreed upon by both parties for it to be considered sexual activity. If a man forces himself upon a woman (or vice-versa) without her consent, then what he is engaging in is a travesty for which the victimized party should not need to socially suffer after the molestation itself. To say that a woman was raped, and is thus not a virgin, completely tears away her ability to feel "pure", although it is my belief that a person who has suffered in this manner can and should be allowed to strive past all the ways the intercouse being forced upon her made her feel.

Just because someone else has tried to break and innocent person's world does not mean that the victim need be distracted from their ability to be innocent. To me, sex is a lot more than just the physical interaction -- and if the emotional connection and the mental connection is not there, the physical act means nothing.

(I always do love a good debate or back-and-forth discussion, so you'll have to excuse me in advance for jumping on that part of your post. ^ ^)
I get what you're saying here, and I agree that if a woman (or man!) didn't consent to sex, it doesn't take away their purity. But virginity is not necessarily synonymous with purity. But if you've had sex, you're not a virgin. And while sex can mean a lot of things, in a lot of ways, it's still just inserting a penis into a vagina. If there's love and feeling behind it, it's a different thing, but it's still called sex if it's not.

I don't think the definition of virginity affects if a person is still innocent and pure after they've been raped. That's something they have to decide for themselves; a dictionary can't tell them.
 
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If we are talking normal Heterosexual sex virginity, rape is loosing your virginity, you are not a virgin, no one needs to know that you aren't.

You can tell yourself you are a virgin, but you are not.
 

Bobkitty

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some of peoples replys to this are pretty funny

Instead of referring to it as being shagged, say "doing it From behind" :p
in no way are you swearing there P

Funny Nobody ever mentioned The popping Of a cherry in losing a girls Virginity

In my case girls Lose their Virginity when the male sex organ has Been Inserted and they "Bluntly" Do it :p
in thus a male would lose his virginity doing this procedure :p

I sadly Lost My virginity to an obese Girl whom had sex with sevral guys before and had been raped :/

Now I feel bad for taking Kays virginity about 15mins after the new years turn to 2007 :p
That was an interesting night
 

Ren

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Yes...as mandi said imagine a rape case. it involves both mentality and physical things. In the case of a rape, the simple fact labels the person, socially he/she can't be the same knowing that usually and it's far better to allow such a mental inclusion to the concept. Of course that doesnt let you be a slut and then claim you're a virgin cuz' last guy/gal wasn't good enough!

I've heard of this second virginity thing. frankly I don't care how people label themselves...who does it hurt if the person had sex once and then claims he's/she's a virgin?
 

Ren

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It'd only hurt if the person was carrying an STD...otherwise why make a big deal out of it?
but then again I may be entering into something that some people could consider personal...I don't think it matters if a person is a virgin or not.
 
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Has nobody ever heard of the V-card concept?

Women have three v-cards: Oral, vaginal, and anal. If you have sexual contact involving penetration (not even necessarily ejaculation) in that hole, you lose that V-card.

Guys have three as well: Oral, anal, and....phallic? Yeah. If you have Sexual contact involving putting your phallus into any of the aforementioned holes, be it on a man or a woman, phallic v-card is gone. Oral and anal are the same as above.

Oral v-card involving oral sex performed on a woman is still on the fence. Same with *shudder* rimming.

Note that a v-card can only really be lost if there's more than just one person involved.
 

Jeremiah

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Once done, it is done. Male or female, once sex has been performed, that person now has the knowledge of what sex feels like permanently engraved into their mind. This can never be undone. A pure virgin thinks very little about sex or sexual gratification. Without any knowledge, they have nothing to base a sexual drive upon. Purity no longer exists in our society. Television, magazines, and common discussions provide far more information than is necessary to spark the curiosity in elementary students. Lastly, an individual will always have some emotions connected to that first individual. In the case of rape, this is most unfortunate! Rapists take away from their victims much more than just the virginity. They savagely gut any shred of innocence, purity, and security. Rape victims are instantly and permanently scarred with first hand knowledge of the vilest, dirtiest, and most wicked portion of society. For consenting individuals, the feelings should be much more pleasant. However, some are left with bitter feelings and broken promises. One absolutely must be completely honest about the past to build a solid relationship..
 
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