ryan2127 said:
If you dont mind me asking , what was the hold up ? I know how you feel though. Living with parents makes diaper buying a little dodgy. My first pack was when i got my licence at 17..Went to the store, got a pack of depends. I remember how amped up i was. Like a little kid on xmas morning.....ok maybe a little more than that! But the feeling is pretty strong for the first time. I recently graduated to goodnites. Its the rush you get when you leave the store.Cant imagine what diving in the deep end with those diapers would be like!
(Trigger warning for anyone sensitive to depression/SH)
I don't mind you asking at all! I think the biggest thing is that I have clinical depression and major anxiety pretty badly. I really hate saying that because I don't want to have my own pity party echo chamber, but it's important for context.
Society reinforces that diapers are for babies, and any adult who uses them is at the very least a freak, and at worst a pedophile. I'm a fairly sensitive and cuddly person, so I craved the comfort that comes with a diaper, but I kept getting hung up on the standard that the outside world set for me. With the stress of college, work, etc, I needed an outlet. In my teenage years, I turned to self harm. After realizing how destructive I was getting, I made the switch to pacifiers, and ever since I started on pacis, I've been clean ever since.
The next step obviously were the diapers, which I dreamt about since before I started puberty. The fact that I was interested in a thing that society sees as super kinky and freaky kept me away though, because I was afraid of getting labeled again if anyone found out. But even then, I just sat around labeling myself for it.
That was my hang up, me saying "if I do this, will I become one of the sexual deviants who fiddles kids like the news channels report on? If my parents find out, will I be on Maury or Dr. Phil?"
In the end I told myself that I would do it for myself, because I spent 10 years dreaming and no doing. I'm so glad I finally did, because I feel like I conquered something big and that I learned so much about myself in the process
I tell this story so hopefully someone like me will read it and find hope <3
TL;DR: society says diapers are for babies.
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pampers4U said:
Wow jumped right in to the biggest / bad ass on the market, now no other diaper is going to measure up.. Lol joking around.
Good for you though, and it gets better, once you get ur own place you can get more and different types, wear when you want, push the product to its limits
I do nothing half way! I told myself that if I'm gonna do it, I'm getting the best diaper money can buy to make sure I have the best first impression
