PrincessEmmy

Est. Contributor
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45
Role
  1. Adult Baby
  2. Sissy
The Baby Curse

Chapter One

The day so far was what some described as a perfect summer day; no clouds in the sky, a cool temperature, a slight breeze, sun shining. There was sounds of kids playing in the street filling the neighborhood except at one house where the cheerful sounds were drowned out by the sounds of boyfriend and girlfriend fighting.

“What do you mean calm down!?” The girlfriend says in a loud stern voice upset at something major.

“I just think you are overreacting is all! I didn’t cheat, I just went out for coffee with an old friend.” The boyfriend argues.

“You’re ex-girlfriend!”

“You need to stop acting like a baby and just let things go!” The boy made a mistake right here.

The two, Michael and Sarah, weren’t always fighting, they were actually a happy couple, and people would describe them as a cute couple; they were made for each other. They met when they were seniors in high school and now just a couple years after they are just starting to have trust issues. Michael received a call from his ex-girlfriend from high school who had moved away a year before he met Sarah, she was in town for a business trip and wanted to meet up with him for some coffee and breakfast.

After deciding that Sarah wouldn’t mind if he went out since he loved Sarah and wouldn’t even think about cheating on her. The other decision he made is arguably the one that has caused all the fighting, he didn’t tell her just in case she did freak out finding out he was talking to his ex again.

He went and had breakfast the next morning and had a good time, the two didn’t even share a kiss, they had a breakfast as friends. In the middle of the breakfast, however, Sarah had come into the restaurant to pick up some breakfast to bring back to work for her and her co-workers. She didn’t think about the possibilities and she didn’t stay any longer to see what happened, she just left enraged wondering why Michael would even consider cheating on her.

She waited until the next morning to bring it up sparking a huge argument, Michael trying to explain that it was nothing, and Sarah pretty much confirming it was over, however she still had one more trick up her sleeve that she hadn’t revealed to Michael in the years they were together.

“So, I am the one acting like a baby? I wanted to have a baby with you, I guess that isn’t going to happen now since you had to go and have someone else on the side!” Sarah crossed her arms to show authority. Her attitude changed very quickly though as she started to speak in a calmer tone.

“Well, I guess I can give you a proper punishment,” she unfolds her arms and her hands start to glow pink which she places onto Michael who instantly feels frozen unable to even blink though the scared expression on his face obviously told what he was thinking.

“I always thought you were cute when you were scared.” She kisses him on the cheek with a smile. “It’s a shame we aren’t going to get to see each other every day, I promise I will come visit you though.” The evil smirk she made was the last thing Michael saw before a sharp pain went through his body and everything went white before fading to black.

Michael started to awaken, not sure how long it has been or where he was. As everything started to become clear he noticed that there were large bars all around him. He looked down to see a pink baby-ish nightgown was covering him and upon lifting it up could see a baby diaper taped around him through inspecting he made sure he was still a male.. He looked out around the room which was a baby girl’s nursery just everything was large enough to fit him.

“Hi there, baby Mia!” A woman’s voice cooed as the door opened.

Editor's Note: I hope you enjoy reading ^-^ this is my first time writing a story like this and I think it turned out decent, but I want to get some opinions and maybe some tips on improving my writing. I plan to do more, but my schoolwork comes first, so I write when I get free time.


 

littleleo

Est. Contributor
Messages
739
Role
  1. Adult Baby
  2. Diaper Lover
Well i find reading very hard But i found this to be very clear and enjoyable to read. :) Thanks for the 1st part of the story and you posted it just at the right moment my bed time :bedtime:. Super Hugs Leo
ps girls still smell :tongueout: Giggles
 

orophins

Contributor
Messages
11
Role
  1. Adult Baby
  2. Diaper Lover
Interesting start. To be honest it was a bit hard to read though. I think you need to go back through and just read each line to make sure you have a complete thought. A few of them are really just incomplete thoughts. Something that might help is to just read it back to yourself out loud, and you'll probably hear where the disconnects are. Definitely keep writing! I'm interested to see things progress ^_^;
 

PrincessEmmy

Est. Contributor
Messages
45
Role
  1. Adult Baby
  2. Sissy
Thanks for the reviews! I will try to edit the next chapter more if I get time to write more to the story.
 

Tiddles

Est. Contributor
Messages
685
Role
  1. Diaper Lover
  2. Babyfur
  3. Diaperfur
  4. Incontinent
  5. Carer
  6. Other
An amusing start to what sounds like a great story. I bet I can guess some of whats to come.
 

DustRabbit

Contributor
Messages
11
Role
  1. Adult Baby
  2. Diaper Lover
  3. Carer
Nice story. I'm definitely into the supernatural having more place in diaper stories (helps explain everything a bit better).

One thing (and I'm sorry I have to be that guy, but someone has to do it)...

4th paragraph down, "You're" vs "Your". "You're" is a contraction of "You are", while "Your" is possessive. It's like "it's" and "its", and it completely throws me off personally when I see a mistake this far into the story.

There are other small mistakes -- run-on sentences here and there, places where a comma is desperately needed, you get the picture. Spell check may say it's fine, but I would double check for grammar nonetheless, because it DOES matter.

I'm sorry...
 

Angelbaby

Est. Contributor
Messages
186
Role
  1. Diaper Lover
  2. Incontinent
I think it's a nice start to the story. Without repeating what was already said, check your grammar and watch for the past/present and make sure you stick to one or the other. You show a lot of talent :)
 

SoHMara

Est. Contributor
Messages
130
Role
  1. Little
Good story, you might want to leave a better cliff hangar then that though, still good!
 

keithv708

Banned
Messages
9
Role
  1. Adult Baby
  2. Diaper Lover
  3. Other
  4. Private
I like the title of it.
just post a short chaper to keep people coming back to your story
Some times giving i little tast is all it taks
you are a grate wirter
 
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