The advantages and disadvantages of being a little

siysiy

Est. Contributor
Messages
3,666
Role
  1. Adult Baby
  2. Diaper Lover
  3. Little
  4. Other
Hi everybody.

What do you think the advantages and or the disadvantages are with our life style?

for me the disadvantage is not understanding grown up talk. When my work colleagues start talking about thing they get up to or wach there are times when I have no idea what they are on about.

And then thay ask me what I did at the weekend, telling then the truth is not really the best option. Lol

The advantages is that I can just about get away with protending to be a Adult after I have spent time in Little space. And not be full of anxiety and not wanting to deal with people.

Hee her
 
  • Like
Reactions: BunnyFofo, Cottontail, BenNevis and 2 others
I feel like the big advantage is not feeling shame to do "kiddish" hobbies. Coloring, cuddling plushies, watching cartoons, etc. Disadvantage is simply being judged for enjoying said hobbies.
 
  • Like
Reactions: BenNevis and LittleAndAlone
Disadvantage is a big risk trying to find like minded individuals in your area, advantage is pure bliss once you get into little space.
 
  • Like
Reactions: pd8615, BenNevis, lilbabyjooce and 2 others
Since being a ABDL / Little implies being an adult, you get the advantage of being able to cherry pick the best aspects of both big and little. And seeing the world through a child like lens of care free innocence and acceptance.

As someone who really loves real kids being able to see eye to eye with them and admire them and easily bond with them and treat them as equals instead of looking down on them is the most precious gift of all. Most adults including even parents are just miserable and forget what is like to be a kid and just end up being mean and resentful.

Only real disadvantage is the secrecy and solitude and having to mask your true self in public as necessitated by BS societal expectations and standards. And the unhealthy obsession with toxic machisimo and masculinity. This whole toxic "grow up and be a man" peer pressure is bull.
 
Last edited:
  • Like
Reactions: ozbub, chiaochai, Cottontail and 4 others
Disadvantages:
  • Feeling like you’re the only one
  • Struggling to accept your little
  • Fearing people finding out and the judgement that comes with it
Advantages:
  • Finally being true to yourself
  • Little time is restorative and relaxing
  • Feeling safe and secure
  • Being able to see the joy in simple things most grown ups take for granted
 
  • Like
  • Love
Reactions: Fleegster, BabyLouise, siysiy and 2 others
For me the advantage is that regression and diaper wearing creates a wonderful escape from depression and/or grief. Today was a diaper day and even though I was busy working, I could enjoy my little space with little depression. For me there is no disadvantage other than having to conceal it.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Cottontail
Advantages:
  • An escape from depression and other grown up problems
  • A chance to embrace "kiddie" stuff
  • An opportunity to reparent myself
  • Feeling safe and secure
Disadvantages
  • It must be concealed or else judgement will ensue.
 
  • Like
Reactions: ShyBoo81, lilbabyjooce, RuffRuff and 2 others
Surely the biggest disadvantage/downside is, as others have already pointed out, that we’re misunderstood and often treated poorly. I’ve been fortunate not to face much of that myself, but I’ve always known it was real. Escaping childhood is a unique challenge when a “little” piece of you refuses to leave. I think we all know, without being told, that nurturing that straggling little piece is a top secret mission.

But it can also be a secret weapon, or maybe a shield. In the last few years I’ve likened my own little side to warm winter jacket that keeps out the cold. I have a family, a job, and other grown-up responsibilities that I can’t casually set aside. To be honest I wouldn’t want to, but like most adults I’m prone to taking life way too seriously and forgetting how made-up so many of our cares really are.

Letting my little side out regularly—as I work from home, this often happens during my workday—is a powerful defense against those cold, excessively adult thoughts. I find that I’m actually more productive, and far less apt to get upset or anxious about the minor setbacks that regularly pop up during the course of my work. Diapers and pacifiers are definitely magic. :)
 
Last edited:
  • Like
Reactions: ShyBoo81, dogboy, ozbub and 2 others
Cottontail said:
Letting my little side out regularly is a powerful defense against those cold, excessively adult thoughts. I find that I’m actually more productive, and far less apt to get upset or anxious about the minor setbacks that regularly pop up during the course of my work.
Here is additional information on defence mechanisms:

Defence Mechanisms

Defence mechanisms are unconscious strategies whereby people protect themselves from anxious thoughts or feelings. Defence mechanisms aren’t inherently wrong—they can allow people to navigate painful experiences or channel their energy more productively. They become problematic, however, when applied too frequently or for too long. The concept arose from the work of Sigmund Freud and his daughter Anna. Freud’s framework has proven nearly impossible to validate empirically, and his methods are no longer widely used in therapy. Still, his theories spurred the growth of psychology, and some of his ideas—like defence mechanisms—still stand today. Identifying when a patient employs a defence mechanism, such as projection, can be a helpful catalyst in the therapeutic process. Schools of therapy other than Freud’s psychoanalytic approach, such as cognitive behavioural therapy, observe similar tendencies and behaviours but attribute them to irrational beliefs rather than the unconscious. Nevertheless, the idea that people act out inner conflicts in specific ways is widely accepted.

Contents

10 Major Defense Mechanisms
fizkes/Shutterstock

Projection: Attributing one’s unacceptable feelings or desires to someone else. For example, if a bully constantly ridicules a peer about insecurities, the bully might be projecting his struggle with self-esteem onto the other person.
Denial: Refusing to recognize or acknowledge facts or experiences that would lead to anxiety. For instance, someone with a substance use disorder might not be able to see his problem.
Repression: Blocking complex thoughts from entering consciousness, such as a trauma survivor shutting out a tragic experience.
Regression: Reverting to the behaviour or emotions of an earlier developmental stage.
Rationalization: Justifying a mistake or hard feeling with seemingly logical reasons or explanations.
Displacement: Redirecting an emotional reaction from the rightful recipient to another person altogether. For example, if a manager screams at an employee, the employee doesn’t call back—but the employee may yell at her partner later that night.
Reaction Formation: Behaving or expressing the opposite of one’s true feelings. For instance, a man who feels insecure about his masculinity might act overly aggressively.
Sublimation: Channeling sexual or unacceptable urges into a productive outlet, such as work or a hobby.
Intellectualization: Focusing on the intellectual rather than emotional consequences of a situation. For example, if a roommate unexpectedly moved out, the other person might conduct a detailed financial analysis rather than discussing their hurt feelings.
Compartmentalization: Separating components of one’s life into different categories to prevent conflicting emotions.

Theories of Defense Mechanisms

shutterstock_1060926164%20%282%29.jpg

Defence mechanisms are rooted in Freud’s theory of personality. According to his model, the mind has three duelling forces: the id (unconscious and primitive urges for food, comfort, and sex), the superego (a partly conscious drive toward moral and social values), and the ego (a partially aware force that moderates the id and superego). Anxiety, in this paradigm, emerges when the needs of the id clash with the demands of the superego. To mitigate the tension, the ego deploys strategies of self-deception to avoid discomfort. The unacceptable thought or emotion may be denied, for example, rationalized or projected onto someone else. Many of Freud’s ideas have not stood up to modern scientific scrutiny. But psychological defences have proven to be an enduring concept that researchers and clinicians continue to explore today.

How do psychologists today conceptualize defence mechanisms?

In a testament to the intuitive appeal and potential utility of psychological defences, multiple post-Freudian theorists and researchers independently converged on the same concept. Alfred Adler developed a similar idea of “safeguarding strategies,” while Karen Horney described protective strategies used by children of abusive or neglectful parents. Leon Festinger developed the well-known concept of “cognitive dissonance,” Carl Rogers discussed the defence process as denial and perceptual distortion, and Albert Bandura conceptualized defences as “self-exoneration mechanisms.” The influential psychiatrist George Vaillant organized defences on a scale of immature to mature, defining them as “unconscious homeostatic mechanisms that reduce the disorganizing effects of sudden stress.” Current discussions of coping mechanisms and emotion regulation also embody the idea of defences.

Why did defence mechanisms evolve?

Like all living systems, humans have evolved multiple strategies for defending against threats to our survival and physical integrity. The immune system is one example; the fight-or-flight mechanism embedded in our nervous system is another. Moreover, similar defensive tools have likely evolved to protect and promote the integrity of our psychological architecture—our sense of self, identity, and esteem.

Are defence mechanisms unhealthy?

Defence Mechanisms in Everyday Life

shutterstock_572935282%20%284%29.jpg

Life is full of unexpected or challenging situations, and defence mechanisms can potentially alleviate that discomfort. They can manifest, for example, in passive-aggressive behaviour when two friends can’t confront conflict or when an employee displaces anger toward her boss onto her daughter that night at dinner. Defence mechanisms can reflect isolated, beneficial and maladaptive incidents or a consistent pattern of behaviour that can be explored with the help of a therapist.

When do individuals develop defence mechanisms?

Some psychologists believe that defence mechanisms might emerge more severely and consistently in some people due to childhood insecurities. For example, children may not know how to grapple with or overcome specific challenges, which leads them to question themselves and enact defences against those challenges. Adults can address those challenges, but obsolete defence mechanisms might occasionally reappear to alleviate the stress.

Which defence mechanisms can hurt relationships?

Close relationships often arouse our most profound emotions; sometimes, we use defences to manage those emotions. Yet this can lead to more anxiety by driving a wedge into the relationship, so it’s valuable to reflect on whether you or your partner use certain defences. These include:
• Projection: Do you blame your partner for your flaws? Rather than admit it, do you accuse your partner of being messy or careless?
• Denial: Do you pretend that negative experiences haven’t occurred? Do you close your eyes and think that everything will be fine, even when your partner seems upset?
• Compensation: Do you use alcohol or drugs instead of confronting negative emotions? Is it easier to have an extra glass of wine or beer rather than talk to your partner about what’s bothering you?

See
psychologytoday.com/us/basics/defense-mechanisms
 
Th
SeniorMan said:
Here is additional information on defence mechanisms:

Defence Mechanisms

Defence mechanisms are unconscious strategies whereby people protect themselves from anxious thoughts or feelings. Defence mechanisms aren’t inherently wrong—they can allow people to navigate painful experiences or channel their energy more productively. They become problematic, however, when applied too frequently or for too long. The concept arose from the work of Sigmund Freud and his daughter Anna. Freud’s framework has proven nearly impossible to validate empirically, and his methods are no longer widely used in therapy. Still, his theories spurred the growth of psychology, and some of his ideas—like defence mechanisms—still stand today. Identifying when a patient employs a defence mechanism, such as projection, can be a helpful catalyst in the therapeutic process. Schools of therapy other than Freud’s psychoanalytic approach, such as cognitive behavioural therapy, observe similar tendencies and behaviours but attribute them to irrational beliefs rather than the unconscious. Nevertheless, the idea that people act out inner conflicts in specific ways is widely accepted.

Contents

10 Major Defense Mechanisms
fizkes/Shutterstock

Projection: Attributing one’s unacceptable feelings or desires to someone else. For example, if a bully constantly ridicules a peer about insecurities, the bully might be projecting his struggle with self-esteem onto the other person.
Denial: Refusing to recognize or acknowledge facts or experiences that would lead to anxiety. For instance, someone with a substance use disorder might not be able to see his problem.
Repression: Blocking complex thoughts from entering consciousness, such as a trauma survivor shutting out a tragic experience.
Regression: Reverting to the behaviour or emotions of an earlier developmental stage.
Rationalization: Justifying a mistake or hard feeling with seemingly logical reasons or explanations.
Displacement: Redirecting an emotional reaction from the rightful recipient to another person altogether. For example, if a manager screams at an employee, the employee doesn’t call back—but the employee may yell at her partner later that night.
Reaction Formation: Behaving or expressing the opposite of one’s true feelings. For instance, a man who feels insecure about his masculinity might act overly aggressively.
Sublimation: Channeling sexual or unacceptable urges into a productive outlet, such as work or a hobby.
Intellectualization: Focusing on the intellectual rather than emotional consequences of a situation. For example, if a roommate unexpectedly moved out, the other person might conduct a detailed financial analysis rather than discussing their hurt feelings.
Compartmentalization: Separating components of one’s life into different categories to prevent conflicting emotions.


Theories of Defense Mechanisms

shutterstock_1060926164%20%282%29.jpg

Defence mechanisms are rooted in Freud’s theory of personality. According to his model, the mind has three duelling forces: the id (unconscious and primitive urges for food, comfort, and sex), the superego (a partly conscious drive toward moral and social values), and the ego (a partially aware force that moderates the id and superego). Anxiety, in this paradigm, emerges when the needs of the id clash with the demands of the superego. To mitigate the tension, the ego deploys strategies of self-deception to avoid discomfort. The unacceptable thought or emotion may be denied, for example, rationalized or projected onto someone else. Many of Freud’s ideas have not stood up to modern scientific scrutiny. But psychological defences have proven to be an enduring concept that researchers and clinicians continue to explore today.

How do psychologists today conceptualize defence mechanisms?

In a testament to the intuitive appeal and potential utility of psychological defences, multiple post-Freudian theorists and researchers independently converged on the same concept. Alfred Adler developed a similar idea of “safeguarding strategies,” while Karen Horney described protective strategies used by children of abusive or neglectful parents. Leon Festinger developed the well-known concept of “cognitive dissonance,” Carl Rogers discussed the defence process as denial and perceptual distortion, and Albert Bandura conceptualized defences as “self-exoneration mechanisms.” The influential psychiatrist George Vaillant organized defences on a scale of immature to mature, defining them as “unconscious homeostatic mechanisms that reduce the disorganizing effects of sudden stress.” Current discussions of coping mechanisms and emotion regulation also embody the idea of defences.

Why did defence mechanisms evolve?

Like all living systems, humans have evolved multiple strategies for defending against threats to our survival and physical integrity. The immune system is one example; the fight-or-flight mechanism embedded in our nervous system is another. Moreover, similar defensive tools have likely evolved to protect and promote the integrity of our psychological architecture—our sense of self, identity, and esteem.

Are defence mechanisms unhealthy?

Defence Mechanisms in Everyday Life

shutterstock_572935282%20%284%29.jpg

Life is full of unexpected or challenging situations, and defence mechanisms can potentially alleviate that discomfort. They can manifest, for example, in passive-aggressive behaviour when two friends can’t confront conflict or when an employee displaces anger toward her boss onto her daughter that night at dinner. Defence mechanisms can reflect isolated, beneficial and maladaptive incidents or a consistent pattern of behaviour that can be explored with the help of a therapist.

When do individuals develop defence mechanisms?

Some psychologists believe that defence mechanisms might emerge more severely and consistently in some people due to childhood insecurities. For example, children may not know how to grapple with or overcome specific challenges, which leads them to question themselves and enact defences against those challenges. Adults can address those challenges, but obsolete defence mechanisms might occasionally reappear to alleviate the stress.

Which defence mechanisms can hurt relationships?

Close relationships often arouse our most profound emotions; sometimes, we use defences to manage those emotions. Yet this can lead to more anxiety by driving a wedge into the relationship, so it’s valuable to reflect on whether you or your partner use certain defences. These include:
• Projection: Do you blame your partner for your flaws? Rather than admit it, do you accuse your partner of being messy or careless?
• Denial: Do you pretend that negative experiences haven’t occurred? Do you close your eyes and think that everything will be fine, even when your partner seems upset?
• Compensation: Do you use alcohol or drugs instead of confronting negative emotions? Is it easier to have an extra glass of wine or beer rather than talk to your partner about what’s bothering you?

See
psychologytoday.com/us/basics/defense-mechanisms
Thank you for all that.

Do you have anything on getting life balance right

You like me wanting to know everything about why we are the way we are.

Hugs
.
 
We face prejudice, which is disadvantageous but not really inherent to being little but rather larger social norms.

Being little does require that we either are alone or are vulnerable in a way that exceeds the normal experience.

When things go well vulnerability can open up intimacy and be a positive but it does invite risk and ergo harm. This is doubly troubling in what is a relatively misogynistic space.

The advantages are probably too many to list but parallel self-love and realisation.
 
  • Like
Reactions: siysiy
LittleAndAlone said:
Since being a ABDL / Little implies being an adult, you get the advantage of being able to cherry pick the best aspects of both big and little. And seeing the world through a child like lens of care free innocence and acceptance. As someone who really loves real kids being able to see eye to eye with them and admire them and easily bond with them and treat them as equals instead of looking down on them is the most precious gift of all. Most adults including even parents are just miserable and forget what is like to be a kid and just end up being mean and resentful. The only real disadvantage is the secrecy and solitude and having to mask your true self in public as necessitated by BS societal expectations and standards. And the unhealthy obsession with toxic machisimo and masculinity. This whole toxic "grow up and be a man" peer pressure is bull.
Here is additional information on coping:
https://www.wikihow.com/Cope-With-Being-a-Diaper-Lover#

How to Cope With Being a Diaper Lover


DLs (Diaper lovers) are people who enjoy wearing diapers for medical or non-medical reasons. A DL may wear a diaper for convenience, sexual pleasure, or as a preference over regular underwear. Realizing that you are a diaper lover can be difficult and sometimes even traumatic. However, you can learn to accept yourself and explore your love of diapers.

Accepting Yourself as a Diaper Wearer

  1. https://www.wikihow.com/Cope-With-B...ith-Being-a-Diaper-Lover-Step-1-Version-2.jpg
    Know you are not alone. You may feel alienated or strange to realize that you enjoy wearing diapers. It’s important to recognize that many others share your affection for wearing diapers. You are not the only person with these feelings and behaviours. There is nothing "strange" or "abnormal" about you. You may be surprised to learn that communities exist to bring diaper wearers together. It is possible to meet other people with the same feelings and behaviours as you.
  2. https://www.wikihow.com/Cope-With-Being-a-Diaper-Lover#/Image:Be-Expressive-Step-12.jpg
    Learn about your feelings. You may feel strange or ashamed about wearing a diaper and feel unclear about where this feeling originates. Accept your positive feelings about wearing diapers and being a diaper lover, such as pleasure, excitement, and satisfaction. If you are overcome with guilt, shame, and fear about wearing a diaper, look at these feelings, too. It may be easier to disregard or ignore these emotions but move closer to them. Instead of worrying about what people may think if they find out, learn to be comfortable with yourself and your feelings first. Explore your feelings about wearing a diaper and acknowledge all of them, both positive and negative. Ask yourself how wearing a diaper contributes to your self-perception and identity. Some negative feelings that may come up are fear of others finding out or feelings of guilt or shame. You may be experiencing a lot of self-criticisms. Especially if you want people to be understanding of you, it’s important that you understand your own motivations and feelings first. By the way, you can confront and work through these feelings through journaling. The process of journaling allows you to define and get some distance from your emotions. Taking even just a few minutes each day to write down how you are feeling can bring clarity to your thoughts and feelings.
  3. https://www.wikihow.com/Cope-With-B...ith-Being-a-Diaper-Lover-Step-3-Version-2.jpg
    Accept yourself for who you are. Part of full self-acceptance is choosing to accept the parts of yourself that are difficult to accept. Examine your negative feelings regarding wearing diapers and refuse any judgments you have toward yourself for wearing diapers. If you have difficulty coping with your love of diapers, allow yourself to experience self-compassion. When dealing with shame, you can say, "I feel ashamed because society looks down on adult diaper-wearing, but I don't have to conform to societal expectations", and “I accept myself as I am.” Remind yourself that wearing a diaper is okay to find pleasure and satisfaction. Try treating yourself as you would a dearly loved friend. Show yourself the same care and affection you would show your friend.
    https://www.wikihow.com/Cope-With-B...ith-Being-a-Diaper-Lover-Step-6-Version-2.jpg

    Make friends who share your interests and feelings. There are communities of diaper lovers and adult babies, and many exist on the internet. If you seek understanding and companionship with other diaper lovers, join a community that shares the same values.

    5
    Act on your feelings. You may associate wearing a diaper or deviating from the "norm" as shameful. It may be hard to suppress the urge to wear a diaper, so stop suppressing. Suppressing your emotions and needs can be very damaging. Allow yourself to experience the pleasure of satisfaction you feel from wearing a diaper.

    4
    Deal with guilt and shame.You may be feeling a lot of guilt and shame about your lifestyle. Guilt is the feeling that something you've done violates a moral code, that something is "wrong." Shame is the feeling of embarrassment, powerlessness and may come from self-disapproval or the disapproval of others. There is no need to feel guilt or shame about being a diaper lover. If you can successfully work through these feelings, you will be better able to accept yourself.

    Guilt is supposed to signal a person that he is doing something wrong or harmful — if you feel guilty after eating an entire cake, your brain tells you that this behaviour is unhealthy and harmful. Or, to put it another way, guilt is the feeling you have done something bad, and shame is the feeling you are bad. But experiencing guilt over your identity as a diaper lover is "unhealthy" guilt because what you are doing is not hurting you or anyone else. If guilt exists to help us learn from our mistakes, you must learn how to change your mindset and accept this part of you.
    • One way to heal shame is to accept that you have no control over the feelings and behaviours of others. People have the choice to be open and understanding, judgmental and closed off — and these choices have nothing to do with you. Once you stop taking others' behaviour personally, you may feel your shame lessened.
    • If you are concerned about other people discovering your diaper wearing, you can choose to wear diapers in private or while you are alone.
    • If you’ve previously felt misunderstood or if you feel the weight of carrying the secret of being a diaper lover, being a part of a community of diaper lovers can be a huge relief to help you realize that you are not alone.
    • Not all people who wear diapers want to belong to a community. It’s up to you to decide if you want to engage with other people wearing diapers.

Part2

Understanding Diaper-Wearing Behavior

  1. https://www.wikihow.com/Cope-With-B...age:Cope-With-Being-a-Diaper-Lover-Step-8.jpg

    2
    Distinguish between adult diaper wearing and acting like a baby. Wearing a diaper does not automatically mean you want to act out infant or baby behaviors. Adult babies like to act and be treated like an infant: taking a bottle, playing with baby toys, or sleeping in a crib. Some diaper lovers solely enjoy wearing a diaper and may wear one discreetly and otherwise live a "normal" life. You may want to act as an adult baby or you may not; it’s up to you to explore and decide.
    1
    Understand common factors uniting diaper lovers. Many adults who enjoy diaper wearing and infant behavior report desires of this lifestyle beginning in adolescence, around age 11 or 12. Diaper wearing occurs more often in men than women. Diaper behaviors include wearing a diaper, wetting and/ or messing in the diaper.
    • Most diaper lovers are male, employed, and in their mid-30s.
    • Some adult diaper lovers express a different gender than the one assigned at birth or express gender fluidity.
    • Some people use diapers to feel comfortable or for sexual foreplay. The behavior is not necessarily tied to baby or infant lifestyle.
  2. https://www.wikihow.com/Cope-With-B...age:Cope-With-Being-a-Diaper-Lover-Step-9.jpg
    Accept that wearing a diaper may be associated with features of incontinence. You may first experience diapers when faced with increased incontinence. You may then begin to enjoy wearing diapers and begin to explore their role in sexuality or pleasure.
    • It’s okay to enjoy wearing diapers whether you experience incontinence or not.
Part3

Respecting Your Privacy

  1. https://www.wikihow.com/Cope-With-B...ge:Cope-With-Being-a-Diaper-Lover-Step-10.jpg
    1
    Decide whether you want to discuss your diaper-wearing. You may want to tell people that you wear a diaper, or you may not. It’s up to you to discuss wearing a diaper with those around you. If you are in a romantic relationship, you may want to disclose this information before the relationship progresses to the point that the discussion becomes overwhelming. You may want to tell close friends and family or choose to keep the diaper wearing to yourself.
    • Don’t fear relationships or telling a partner about your diaper-wearing. While some people may not understand, you may be surprised that many are willing to engage in the behaviours and lifestyle.
    https://www.wikihow.com/Cope-With-B...Answer-"What-Do-You-Like-About-Me"-Step-2.jpg
    Talk to your romantic partner. If wearing a diaper is an integral part of your identity or regular activities, it’s important to share this with your partner. This is especially true if you enjoy diaper-wearing during sexual activity. It can be nerve-wracking to tell your partner, but go for it and don’t leave it hanging if it’s something important to you.
    • Let your partner know you want to talk to them about something intimate that’s important to your heart. Say, “It’s important, to be honest with you and show you all of who I am. Part of who I am is a diaper lover.” Be open to answering any questions your partner may have.Appeal to your partner. If your partner believes in being sexually adventurous, say, “I know you enjoy being sexually adventurous, and this is a new adventure to practice together.”Create boundaries that both you and your partner feel comfortable within. For instance, you may want to start small and work your way up, such as wearing diapers around the house at first, then bringing them into more intimate settings. Use clear communication to ensure you both feel comfortable and happy with the boundaries.
  2. https://www.wikihow.com/Cope-With-B...ge:Cope-With-Being-a-Diaper-Lover-Step-12.jpg
    Use discretion in your appearance. Diaper lovers and adult babies are a huge group that is still on the sidelines and not "in the open" yet. Many people misunderstand the feelings and motivations of diaper lovers. It’s up to you whether you want to wear diapers in public or at home, or both. This largely depends on your motivation for diaper wearing, whether you use a diaper for comfort or for sexual reasons. If you’d like to discreetly wear a diaper in public, wear loose clothing to hide the diaper bulge and keep diaper-wrinkling noise to a minimum.
    • Wearing diapers to bed is a popular option.
  3. https://www.wikihow.com/Cope-With-B...ge:Cope-With-Being-a-Diaper-Lover-Step-13.jpg
    4
    Have a hiding place for diapers when you have visitors. If you prefer to keep your diaper-wearing private, plan ahead when visitors enter your home. Keep the diapers in a safe spot where they will not be found. This could include the washer/dryer, your bedroom, or a secret spot only you know of in your home.
    • If it makes you feel more comfortable, have a good story for why you might own them for those "just in case" scenarios.
    See wikihow.com/Cope-With-Being-a-Diaper-Lover
 
Advantages, for me anyway:
choosing happiness over dignity
letting the soft (baby) animal of my body love what it loves

Disadvantages:
Being totally unlike what other people expect others to be like and having to keep it a secret.
Money spent on diapers and baby stuff
 
Last edited:
BunnyFofo said:
Advantages, for me anyway:
choosing happiness over dignity
letting the soft (baby) animal of my body love what it loves

Disadvantages:
Being totally unlike what other people expect others to be like and having to keep it a secret.
Money spent on diapers and baby stuff
Happiness over dignity sums it up for me
 
  • Like
Reactions: BunnyFofo
SeniorMan said:

Not to be critical but do you have to put the whole article in the body of the text?

It makes the thread difficult to scan and I, if no one else, turn off.

The link is there, which is good. If that's not sufficient maybe you could hide the test in spoiler tags so it's there for people who want to stay on the page but without monopolising screen space?
 
  • Like
Reactions: Therin and littleph0enix
siysiy said:
Getting life balance right.

5 Ways to Find Balance in Your Life​

What's the best way to bring balance into your life?

The next time I post .jpg files, I will use spoiler tags.​


Continuing the theme of transitions from some of my previous posts, have you noticed that in times of transition (like when summer turns to fall, or winter turns to spring) you are particularly susceptible to feeling off-balance? It seems to me that in months like September and June, when there’s a lot of change going on, I hear the phrase, “There’s just not enough time in the day to do everything I need to do ..." even more often than most other times of the year.

Of course, if you’re a mom, working outside of the home or not, you may feel out of balance most of the time! By now at least you know you’re not alone. And, as a recent post on Time.com shows us, men are beginning to openly join the struggle to balance family and career. It’s great to read about successful men discussing their attempts to have quality time with their children while working at demanding, high-pressured jobs.

But in today’s high speed, high pressure and high-stress world, it’s not just balance between work and family that’s hard to find. If you’re a “stay-at-home” mom, you very likely constantly struggle to find balance between the needs of your family and your own needs—for exercise, time to read or be alone, to visit with friends, even to take a long hot shower, and so on. And if you are not married or not a parent, you are very probably still struggling to find a good balance in your life. Are you a single who is working so hard that you have troubles developing a social life, or even finding some downtime for yourself? Or are you so involved in the drinking and partying world that you fail to take care of either your physical needs or the demands of your job? Balance is an issue for all of us.

Even young children can have a hard time finding any kind of equilibrium. I recently heard about a 10-year-old who was only getting five hours of sleep a night. It turned out that after a day at a highly competitive, demanding school, this child went first to soccer practice and then to additional private courses in any of a number of different subjects—language, art, music, high-level math. No wonder he wasn’t sleeping. I wondered when he even managed to eat, let alone have any downtime to explore his own inner world?

Obviously, while children who grow up this way may be learning how to work hard, they are not learning much about finding a balanced life; but how can we teach them when so many adults have difficulty finding it for ourselves?
There are so many things that we have to balance in our lives—work, family, play, leisure, relaxation, caring for others, caring for ourselves, social consciousness, political consciousness, environmental consciousness, religious beliefs and activities, physical needs ... to name only a few of the issues most of us are balancing, often without realizing it, all of the time. “Finding balance” in our lives is so important, yet so hard, that there are mountains of books and articles about it. A Google search of “How to find balance in your life” brings up 332,000,000 results. It’s not at all hard to understand why we need balance and why we are searching for it; but why are we having so much trouble finding it?

There are a lot of answers to that question, including cultural and environmental ones that lead to fears about the world we live in and anxieties about taking care of ourselves and our loved ones in the here and now and in the future. There are also plenty of personal answers, having to do with self-esteem, expectations, and complex wishes to please someone else, prove ourselves to them (or to ourselves), and sometimes to surpass someone else.

But there is one key point that many of these books and articles seem to miss. When you take this point into account, almost everything else is easier to accomplish. But it’s a hard idea to accept, which is, I think, one of the reasons that it’s not always included in discussions of finding balance. The point? Finding balance is a lifetime project. It is ongoing. It is not a finite goal at the end of which you will have a peaceful, calm and meaningful life. Balance is a way of living. It is a process.

NYC yoga teacher Mindy Bacharach says this about balance:
The Equinox - a place of balance between day and night, dark and light, surge and subside, unfolding and enfolding. It's marked as a day (two if you include spring) on the calendar and often observed that way. The day of equipoise.
But in reality, it's not a whole day. It's not even a few minutes. It's a fleeting moment. The instant it occurs, the balance tips.

I tend to take my cues from nature. What nature tells me here is that balance is about navigating transition—rather than trying to 'nail' a spot and (desperately, er, um) gracefully hoping to stay in it. So, what can you do to find some balance in your life? Here are five suggestions culled from some of the more balanced people I know:

  1. Keep in mind that, as Bacharach tells us, balance is not a final goal, but an ongoing process. Being balanced does not mean being calm, relaxed, and content all of the time. Balance often occurs only for a fleeting moment, but it can reappear over and over again. Rather than trying to stay balanced, think of yourself as practicing balancing, over and over again. I love that many yoga teachers talk about yoga as a “practice”—the goal is not to become great at it, but to keep practicing it. You often hear the comment that it’s good to fail—it means you were trying. The same is true in life. As long as we keep practicing finding balance, we will find one. Of course, we will lose it. But we will find it again.
  2. Prioritize. In his book The Effective Executive, Peter Drucker talks about the importance of setting goals, deciding which are most important, and then, doing the most important things first. The problem is often figuring out just what is most important. On any given day, in any given moment, what is your priority? Is checking your email more important than calling your grandmother? Is taking a hot shower more important than talking to your best friend for the third time today? In order to stay on course, you may have to re-examine your priorities regularly. But Drucker’s point is that once you decide what’s important, focus on it and get it done.
  3. Set both long and short term goals. In business, this is called “Tactics and Strategy.” Strategy is the longterm goal, the big picture. Tactics are the combination of short term goals that will help you get you to your longterm goal. For example, if you want to be a successful writer, your short term goals might be to get your first article published in any newspaper that will take it. Then you will need to break down that into even smaller steps, tactics to get to that first goal—for instance, taking a writing class, writing for 30 minutes every day, joining a writing group, or submitting something you’ve written to a local newspaper.
  4. Be specific. It’s more useful to say, “I’m going to spend an hour alone with each child sometime this week,” than to say, “I’m going to have quality time with each of my children.” Quality time is a great concept, but it’s also a vague one. And since it’s so vague, it’s hard to know whether or not you’ve accomplished that goal, which makes it hard to feel in balance. The same is true if you say that you’re going to eat healthily or exercise more. Set something specific—for example, this week you’ll add kale to three meals, or you’ll have fruit with your breakfast every morning; or decide that you’ll run for thirty minutes on Wednesday and Friday mornings.
  5. Remember that it's often easier to find balance with another person. Imagine a balancing act that involves not only individual strength, but interactive support. The keyword here is interactive—if you're bearing all the weight, you can't get balanced. But if you're not carrying your share, you won't get balanced either. What's most important is not how much weight one person carries at any given time, but how you interact with one another, drawing from and giving energy to each other. That's balance.
Also, keep in mind endgame versus process. In an interview on NPR, the actor Ki Hong Lee, who appears in the film, The Maze Runner, makes this point beautifully. He says a friend once asked what his goal was in life and he answered, “to win the Academy Award for my acting.” When asked the same question, his friend said, “to be a working actor every day for the rest of my life.” Ki Hong Lee was blown away by the realization that his friend’s goal was about the process of living. It was about balance. In your own life, this can translate to a variety of things.

For instance, if you haven’t been working out, your long-term goal might be to get into shape; but perhaps it would be more useful to say to yourself that you are going to try to find a way to live that allows you to maintain your physical well-being. Short-term, you might think about starting slowly, in manageable ways that you can work into your life and gradually, as you get stronger, expand. Instead of saying that you’re going to the gym every day this week (which might be unrealistic and also leave you so sore and overworked that you won’t go back for months; and if you don’t go, you’ll beat up on yourself and that will be the end of any potential sense of balance), think about what you can realistically expect of yourself and attempt to figure out how you can actually get yourself to follow through.

For instance, it might be more realistic to start with a 30-minute walk two times this week. Or even, if it’s not too far away, simply walk to the gym and back. Yes, really! Once you see how you’re feeling, then you can set up another goal—but it needs to be one that you can accomplish and fit into your schedule and your lifestyle. The same is true for any other goal, whether it’s to lose weight, change careers, find a life partner, start a long-delayed project ... really, anything you want to do. Remember that both accomplishments and failures are part of balance. Most of us have plenty of both already in our lives, but we may not always pay equal attention to both. If you are someone who focuses on your failures, try to notice small moments of success. See what that feels like. See if you can figure out what you’re afraid of, why you have to focus on the negative instead of the positive. But don’t beat up on yourself if you can’t stay there. It’s normal to fall out of that awareness back into more familiar thoughts. Just go back to the positive when you can. That’s balance.

The same is, of course, true if you always focus on your successes. It’s great to be proud of yourself!! But maybe try for a moment or two to pay attention to any failures you may have had in the last couple of days. You don’t need to stay there long. Just recognizing that they’re there will help you be more balanced! Whether you’re heading back to work or school, sending your kids off to a new adventure, changing jobs, getting married or divorced, moving to a new city, or just living life as usual, remember that you are always in transition. The trick to living a balanced life is, to quote once again from Mindy Bacharach, to always keep in mind that, “Balance is the process of holding something(s) steady during change.”

See psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-couch/201409/5-ways-find-balance-in-your-life
 
  • Like
Reactions: siysiy
SeniorMan said:

5 Ways to Find Balance in Your Life​

What's the best way to bring balance into your life?​

The next time I post .jpg files, I will use spoiler tags.​


Continuing the theme of transitions from some of my previous posts, have you noticed that in times of transition (like when summer turns to fall, or winter turns to spring) you are particularly susceptible to feeling off-balance? It seems to me that in months like September and June, when there’s a lot of change going on, I hear the phrase, “There’s just not enough time in the day to do everything I need to do ..." even more often than most other times of the year.

Of course, if you’re a mom, working outside of the home or not, you may feel out of balance most of the time! By now at least you know you’re not alone. And, as a recent post on Time.com shows us, men are beginning to openly join the struggle to balance family and career. It’s great to read about successful men discussing their attempts to have quality time with their children while working at demanding, high-pressured jobs.

But in today’s high speed, high pressure and high-stress world, it’s not just balance between work and family that’s hard to find. If you’re a “stay-at-home” mom, you very likely constantly struggle to find balance between the needs of your family and your own needs—for exercise, time to read or be alone, to visit with friends, even to take a long hot shower, and so on. And if you are not married or not a parent, you are very probably still struggling to find a good balance in your life. Are you a single who is working so hard that you have troubles developing a social life, or even finding some downtime for yourself? Or are you so involved in the drinking and partying world that you fail to take care of either your physical needs or the demands of your job? Balance is an issue for all of us.

Even young children can have a hard time finding any kind of equilibrium. I recently heard about a 10-year-old who was only getting five hours of sleep a night. It turned out that after a day at a highly competitive, demanding school, this child went first to soccer practice and then to additional private courses in any of a number of different subjects—language, art, music, high-level math. No wonder he wasn’t sleeping. I wondered when he even managed to eat, let alone have any downtime to explore his own inner world?

Obviously, while children who grow up this way may be learning how to work hard, they are not learning much about finding a balanced life; but how can we teach them when so many adults have difficulty finding it for ourselves?
There are so many things that we have to balance in our lives—work, family, play, leisure, relaxation, caring for others, caring for ourselves, social consciousness, political consciousness, environmental consciousness, religious beliefs and activities, physical needs ... to name only a few of the issues most of us are balancing, often without realizing it, all of the time. “Finding balance” in our lives is so important, yet so hard, that there are mountains of books and articles about it. A Google search of “How to find balance in your life” brings up 332,000,000 results. It’s not at all hard to understand why we need balance and why we are searching for it; but why are we having so much trouble finding it?

There are a lot of answers to that question, including cultural and environmental ones that lead to fears about the world we live in and anxieties about taking care of ourselves and our loved ones in the here and now and in the future. There are also plenty of personal answers, having to do with self-esteem, expectations, and complex wishes to please someone else, prove ourselves to them (or to ourselves), and sometimes to surpass someone else.

But there is one key point that many of these books and articles seem to miss. When you take this point into account, almost everything else is easier to accomplish. But it’s a hard idea to accept, which is, I think, one of the reasons that it’s not always included in discussions of finding balance. The point? Finding balance is a lifetime project. It is ongoing. It is not a finite goal at the end of which you will have a peaceful, calm and meaningful life. Balance is a way of living. It is a process.

NYC yoga teacher Mindy Bacharach says this about balance:


I tend to take my cues from nature. What nature tells me here is that balance is about navigating transition—rather than trying to 'nail' a spot and (desperately, er, um) gracefully hoping to stay in it. So, what can you do to find some balance in your life? Here are five suggestions culled from some of the more balanced people I know:

  1. Keep in mind that, as Bacharach tells us, balance is not a final goal, but an ongoing process. Being balanced does not mean being calm, relaxed, and content all of the time. Balance often occurs only for a fleeting moment, but it can reappear over and over again. Rather than trying to stay balanced, think of yourself as practicing balancing, over and over again. I love that many yoga teachers talk about yoga as a “practice”—the goal is not to become great at it, but to keep practicing it. You often hear the comment that it’s good to fail—it means you were trying. The same is true in life. As long as we keep practicing finding balance, we will find one. Of course, we will lose it. But we will find it again.
  2. Prioritize. In his book The Effective Executive, Peter Drucker talks about the importance of setting goals, deciding which are most important, and then, doing the most important things first. The problem is often figuring out just what is most important. On any given day, in any given moment, what is your priority? Is checking your email more important than calling your grandmother? Is taking a hot shower more important than talking to your best friend for the third time today? In order to stay on course, you may have to re-examine your priorities regularly. But Drucker’s point is that once you decide what’s important, focus on it and get it done.
  3. Set both long and short term goals. In business, this is called “Tactics and Strategy.” Strategy is the longterm goal, the big picture. Tactics are the combination of short term goals that will help you get you to your longterm goal. For example, if you want to be a successful writer, your short term goals might be to get your first article published in any newspaper that will take it. Then you will need to break down that into even smaller steps, tactics to get to that first goal—for instance, taking a writing class, writing for 30 minutes every day, joining a writing group, or submitting something you’ve written to a local newspaper.
  4. Be specific. It’s more useful to say, “I’m going to spend an hour alone with each child sometime this week,” than to say, “I’m going to have quality time with each of my children.” Quality time is a great concept, but it’s also a vague one. And since it’s so vague, it’s hard to know whether or not you’ve accomplished that goal, which makes it hard to feel in balance. The same is true if you say that you’re going to eat healthily or exercise more. Set something specific—for example, this week you’ll add kale to three meals, or you’ll have fruit with your breakfast every morning; or decide that you’ll run for thirty minutes on Wednesday and Friday mornings.
  5. Remember that it's often easier to find balance with another person. Imagine a balancing act that involves not only individual strength, but interactive support. The keyword here is interactive—if you're bearing all the weight, you can't get balanced. But if you're not carrying your share, you won't get balanced either. What's most important is not how much weight one person carries at any given time, but how you interact with one another, drawing from and giving energy to each other. That's balance.
Also, keep in mind endgame versus process. In an interview on NPR, the actor Ki Hong Lee, who appears in the film, The Maze Runner, makes this point beautifully. He says a friend once asked what his goal was in life and he answered, “to win the Academy Award for my acting.” When asked the same question, his friend said, “to be a working actor every day for the rest of my life.” Ki Hong Lee was blown away by the realization that his friend’s goal was about the process of living. It was about balance. In your own life, this can translate to a variety of things.

For instance, if you haven’t been working out, your long-term goal might be to get into shape; but perhaps it would be more useful to say to yourself that you are going to try to find a way to live that allows you to maintain your physical well-being. Short-term, you might think about starting slowly, in manageable ways that you can work into your life and gradually, as you get stronger, expand. Instead of saying that you’re going to the gym every day this week (which might be unrealistic and also leave you so sore and overworked that you won’t go back for months; and if you don’t go, you’ll beat up on yourself and that will be the end of any potential sense of balance), think about what you can realistically expect of yourself and attempt to figure out how you can actually get yourself to follow through.

For instance, it might be more realistic to start with a 30-minute walk two times this week. Or even, if it’s not too far away, simply walk to the gym and back. Yes, really! Once you see how you’re feeling, then you can set up another goal—but it needs to be one that you can accomplish and fit into your schedule and your lifestyle. The same is true for any other goal, whether it’s to lose weight, change careers, find a life partner, start a long-delayed project ... really, anything you want to do. Remember that both accomplishments and failures are part of balance. Most of us have plenty of both already in our lives, but we may not always pay equal attention to both. If you are someone who focuses on your failures, try to notice small moments of success. See what that feels like. See if you can figure out what you’re afraid of, why you have to focus on the negative instead of the positive. But don’t beat up on yourself if you can’t stay there. It’s normal to fall out of that awareness back into more familiar thoughts. Just go back to the positive when you can. That’s balance.

The same is, of course, true if you always focus on your successes. It’s great to be proud of yourself!! But maybe try for a moment or two to pay attention to any failures you may have had in the last couple of days. You don’t need to stay there long. Just recognizing that they’re there will help you be more balanced! Whether you’re heading back to work or school, sending your kids off to a new adventure, changing jobs, getting married or divorced, moving to a new city, or just living life as usual, remember that you are always in transition. The trick to living a balanced life is, to quote once again from Mindy Bacharach, to always keep in mind that, “Balance is the process of holding something(s) steady during change.”

See psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-couch/201409/5-ways-find-balance-in-your-life
Thank you.

What about wining the lottery do you have anything on that one.

Or how to get to the sweeties with out my Big noticing.

Yea that would be really helpfull.

Thank you

Hugs
 
  • Haha
Reactions: lilbabyjooce and littleph0enix
For me the advantages are.
I feel safe and comfortable, so it helps me sleep at night.
I can forget the hard things about the day and just be a kid.
2Nd to the last one, it helps with my anxiety.

Disadvantages.
I sometimes go to work, while still in my littlespace.
Cost... diapers, onsies, plushies e.c.t.
And of course the whole acceptance from others, that gets on my mind.
 
Cottontail said:
far less apt to get upset or anxious about the minor setbacks that regularly pop up during the course of my work

This, and when major setbacks occur, I have something that other don’t.
 
siysiy said:
What about wining the lottery?
How to win the lottery – tips and tricks

IT could be life-changing and is, in theory, relatively simple. Just guess the correct numbers and all your dreams will come true. In practice, it is anything but. The odds of you winning the lottery are estimated to be around 45 million to one. But can you improve your chances? You have a one in 45 million chance of hitting the National Lottery jackpot.

What are the best tips for winning the lottery?​

Obviously, there is no way to predict the winning numbers in the lottery. Each draw is completely random. But there are ways to increase your odds. Firstly, select the right game. The lottery could mean one of several games - each with different odds and jackpots. Playing a game with smaller odds gives you a better chance of winning. Secondly, buy more tickets. This sounds obvious, but there are several ways to do this. Aside from simply splashing out more yourself, one way of increasing your odds of winning is to join a syndicate or pool.
This could be made up of friends, family, colleagues or even strangers - it doesn't matter. A syndicate or pool is a group of people who purchase a set number of tickets and agree to share any prizes equally, whoever wins. Adrian Bayford won £148m on Euromillions in 2012. The biggest-ever Lottery win at the time. Another way of winning the lottery? Check your ticket! Unclaimed wins are more common than you think due to people losing their tickets, forgetting to check, or misreading the winning numbers.
Finally, pick random numbers. It is thought that tens of thousands of people choose combinations like 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, and 6 each week. Don't let that be you!

What are the most common numbers?​

According to lottery.co.uk, the six most common numbers drawn between October 2015 and December 2020 in UK lottery games were: 52, 54, 8, 58, 55 and 47. But, as mentioned previously, it is worth remembering that the numbers are drawn completely randomly in each game. So there is no guarantee these numbers will come up again. The least common numbers over the same period were: 48, 24, 15, 21, 6 and 33. 43 is currently the most overdue number, according to the site's statistics - having last been drawn 128 days ago. Picking lottery games with smaller odds gives you a better chance of winning.

What have past winners said about choosing winning numbers?​

There have been countless different tactics employed by previous winners - some more quirky than others. Ray Wragg, who won £ 7.6 million with his wife Barbara in 2000, revealed he used to drive around Sheffield and write down car number plates to pick for each Lotto. This method eventually delivered six lucky numbers - netting him and his wife Barbara £ 6 million.

In 2003 Billy Gibbons bagged a five-number win of £1,297 - after his pet chicken walked over his calculator.​

Billy used the numbers on the screen plus one of his own for the ticket, which was a winner. Previously named 'Kyiv', he called the chicken 'Lucky' after the win.
But several other winners revealed they triumphed using a Lucky Dip - proving it really is down to the luck of the draw.
 
Last edited:
  • Like
Reactions: siysiy
Back
Top