Telling your spouse?

[Serendiapity]

If you had a non-ABDL spouse, would you tell him/her about your infantilism? There are benefits to telling, as well as the threat of negative reactions, which could be catastrophic. Would you tell?

 

[Ryan_d]

I would have told them before I got married. I would not live an entire life time trying to keep a secret from my wife.

 

[Nicky]

idk, i think about this all the time.

i would hate to live a secret full of a lies, but at the same time, i've gone 21 years without anyone know and have no ambition on telling anyone anytime soon.

as long as it doesnt hurt the relationship, why the need to tell?

 

[dentedwheel]

Good question.

I am now at the point where after 19 years with the same wonderful person, is it worth telling her?

I am very happy now. Would I be happier if she knew? Maybe relieved but I doubt I would be happier.

The biggest question is how will she respond if I tell her about it when I have been doing it since before we met? I haven't outright lied to her, but you get into the "lies of omission" realm which of course brings you to the world of "trust". Oh god, sometimes secrets are better kept secret.

 

[ArcticFluffy]

Chances are they would already know I am a furry so yes.

 

[mizzycub]

If I was going to have a spouse, I would tell them before they actually were. This is something you should be honest about if it looks like it is getting serious. It won't work keeping it secret forever, and it would be really bad if they happened to find out by some other means.

 

[NEJay]

Honesty is the best policy for me... I wouldn't want to keep any part of my life secret from my significant other.

 

[ballucanb]

I think if I was involved with anyone, I would feel better about mentioning it to them and make sure they were alright with it before we started getting serious.

Hopefully I would have met another like myself already....

 

[Mandy]

I think if I was involved with anyone, I would feel better about mentioning it to them and make sure they were alright with it before we started getting serious.

Hopefully I would have met another like myself already....

I complety agree

 

[Eclipse]

Yeah there would be no need to tell my spouse because I will never have a spouse that is not aware of it. I will not marry any girl unless she is aware of it and accepts it, by letting me do what I need to do. If I get lucky she will participate willingly and enjoy it. Or if I am super super lucky she will be an abdl herself lol.

Except I am holding my expectations low right now, past few months I have started to brace myself mentally for a possible single life until death. Cause with those expectations plus other stanard expectations like attractive personality that is good for me and at least some what attractive physically, it all makes it a very slim chance of finding the perfect girl for me. :frown:

 

[Mr Alex]

I'm going along with Eclipse somewhat, If I ever get one, I would tell her, unless her personality suggested that she wouldn't accept it. I'd store it in the command center of the house, the EPIC nerdage area. Gaming galore. 8 TV's watching 8 different channels. Yeah, the situation room.

 

[Maverick]

Yes, I'll tell her. If I didn't, then I'd probably fuck up somewhere down the road, and then she'd be pissed off that I lied to her. I'd definitely tell her before we marry, to avoid complications. But I wouldn't tell her until the relationship started getting serious. For instance, I would never tell a girlfriend in high school. But yeah, infantilism is a part of me that I feel my significant other should accept. Otherwise it's like you only love 5/6 of me... or something.

Except I am holding my expectations low right now, past few months I have started to brace myself mentally for a possible single life until death. Cause with those expectations plus other stanard expectations like attractive personality that is good for me and at least some what attractive physically, it all makes it a very slim chance of finding the perfect girl for me.

You're only in your twenties, so I wouldn't worry quite yet. You recognize that your expectations of a significant other are too high, so maybe you should work on being more accepting and lowering those high expectations. That would probably widen the "slim chance of finding the perfect girl" for you.

 

[h200420012]

I think if you really loved this person and you truly were supposed to be with them....then it really wouldn't matter if you did wear diapers. They should have loved you regardless.

 

[Eclipse]

You're only in your twenties, so I wouldn't worry quite yet. You recognize that your expectations of a significant other are too high, so maybe you should work on being more accepting and lowering those high expectations. That would probably widen the "slim chance of finding the perfect girl" for you.

Um? Thanks but, how are my expectations high? I think everyone on here wants someone with a personality they are compatiable with, and everyone wants to be at least some what attracted to their partner physically, and most on here want someone to at least accept the ab/dl side. That is all I asked for, that is faaarrr from asking for a lot. lol

I think what you will come to realize after dating you first few girls is, its a slim chance of us (male abdl's) finding a girl to marry no matter what your expectations are.

 

[dprdinky]

Telling your spouse/potential spouse from the very beginning is very important. Let me explain. I've been married twice. The first I didn't say anything until we were on our honeymoon. It was a disaster! She hoped I would get rid of the idea. Instead I kept it secret - unfortunately, unsuccessfully It broke us apart, she felt I was holding out on her in our relationship. It's what caused the end of our marriage after 15 yrs.

The 2nd marriage, before we were ever married I shared with her before I even asked to marry her. This marriage, on that aspect was much better, more open. I didn't have to hide it. Our sexuality was very enjoyable. But what broke it apart is I didn't take into consideration of how incompatible we were in other parts of our life.

So my opinion is Share, but after you share make sure that the relationship will be compatible in all areas. Assure you can be comfortable with the person in all that you would do together. Don't be satisfied that you have someone feeling alright with you in diapers or even diapering you. The marriage will not be based on those reasons to marry. It's how you really love the person, can get along with her.

 

[dentedwheel]

My problem is that when we were dating my wife had a very messed-up view of sex. So I didn't want to complicate things with my DL stuff. Honestly, it wasn't a heavy part of my life at the time. I never brought it up. The problem is that I began to explore it more just before we got married and I was living alone. I felt it was too late to tell her then so, ta da, here I am now.

 

[Fire2box]

Marriage is not at all about accepting a person for the good or bad. It's about hiding stuff from your spouse that makes you think they won't accept you when you tell him/her. Only the idiots think its about accepting people good or bad, in sickness and in health and blah blah blah.


(Note: there was MASSIVE sarcasm in case your sarcasm meter is broken)

 

[ShippoFox]

Yes. Definitely. I don't want to have to hide this from yet another person, especially someone that would be so close to me. I may have been hiding this up until now, but not because I want to do so. As for how I would tell such a person... I just don't know. I've only done it once and that was an online relationship. (telling her did go well though)

 

[Maverick]

Um? Thanks but, how are my expectations high? I think everyone on here wants someone with a personality they are compatiable with, and everyone wants to be at least some what attracted to their partner physically, and most on here want someone to at least accept the ab/dl side. That is all I asked for, that is faaarrr from asking for a lot. lol

I think what you will come to realize after dating you first few girls is, its a slim chance of us (male abdl's) finding a girl to marry no matter what your expectations are.

You said: "Cause with those expectations plus other stanard expectations like attractive personality that is good for me and at least some what attractive physically, it all makes it a very slim chance of finding the perfect girl for me."

That sounds like you believe your expectations are high. Maybe I'm wrong though; maybe you think your expectations are reasonable. I don't know if your expectations are high, low, or average, because I don't have anything to compare them with. It sounded (maybe incorrectly) to me that you were saying, "These high expectations will make it very difficult for me to find a girl."

I already know it will be difficult for *B/DLs to find a perfect partner, but it doesn't bother me much. Having someone who loves me isn't one of my priorities in life. Sure, it'd be nice, but I just don't care about love that much.

 

[goodnites2002]

I told my wife. If I had the opportunity to do it again I would probably change my approach, but definitely still tell her. Marriage is not meant to be always easy. What fun would that be?