Talking about stuff

[valsroom]

Today's work outfit! Look at the little zebras hehe X3 Chase picked them out for me

 

[dogboy]

Those are nice and who doesn't like zebras?

 

[valsroom]

Called in today. I have a doctor's appointment this Wednesday so I'm hoping they can find out why I've been having so many gut problems Hoping it's not another infection... I've been trying so hard!

In better news, on my way out of work this morning I bought a new sippy Don't have a picture as I'm sitting in the bathtub right now soaking but it's one of those ones with the hard spouts and no handles AND IT'S BLUE! I love those kinds of sippies. When my brother and sister were younger they had similar looking ones and I always stole them cuz I wanted to drink out of a sippy too XD

After I got home I poured some strawberry milk into it (after washing it out) and just let myself be little. It was so easy this time, I had no trouble just letting myself slip into littlespace and babble to Chase about... Well, honestly I can't even remember now!

I did color a dinosaur tho

 

[KrankyPants]

Lovely! Not just your coloring, but also the hard plastic spout sippy cup. I shave a Disney Cars movie one with Lightning McQueen and it love it. It came in a two pack with a soft spout one, which is cool too because it has a straw inside so I can sip while watching tv sitting up. The hard spout is definitely more little!

 

[valsroom]

Here's a pic! Washed it out so it's still got some little specks of water in it.

 

[KrankyPants]

Very nice. Yours looks comfortable, easy to hold, aaaaand it's my favorite colour!

 

[KrankyPants]

How many ounces is it?

 

[valsroom]

Uhhh give me a minute to find the packaging again...

...Or not, must've thrown it away! I think it's about 10 ounces? Which would be the same as my other sippy.

 

[valsroom]

In urgent care right now. Either my antibiotics didn't work for the infection last time or I have a new one. Either way I'm just so tired and I hope if anything I can get a doctor's note so I can just go home and go to bed for a while. Did a pee sample (which I hate because I think they're icky DX) and they might want to do an x-ray to check on my constipation.

Nurse was nice but she seemed kind of... I don't know. I much prefer talking to older nurses because they at least know how to talk to patients without sounding like the exact girls in high school who would talk to me like I was an idiot and titter behind my back because I have ADHD and don't know social cues.

 

[valsroom]

Yeeeep. Nurse practitioner original came in saying I was clear which was confusing but turns out she was reading the wrong thing. But yep. Another UTI I'm so upset like... why do they keep happening... I'm getting a new antibiotic and some miralax thankfully but aah are you serious.

 

[valsroom]

AAAAA LOOK!!!! IT'S SO CUTE I'M DYING!!!! I thought maybe I didn't measure right and that XXS would be too small but it's just right! And the fabric is sooo soft and comfy. Smells a bit like peanut butter though so I'm going to take it off and wash it now XD

 

[valsroom]

This is something that's been bothering me for a while, and its sort of something I talked about in the pet peeve thread.

I don't harbor any ill will towards the agere / CGLre / etc. side of Tumblr. In fact it was being a part of that community before I left the website altogether that made me realize I was an ABDL. But therein lies the problem. If I ever wanted to go back, I'd have a couple options:

1. Hide this part of me and go back to calling it agere like everyone else. I might've been fine with it before I realized, but now I feel like it'd just be a step back. The agere side of Tumblr is very anti-kink, full of misinformed minors and adults and believes that ABDL and the like can never be non-sexual or non-kink related. What does that make mine then? Trying to give it a different name just to fit in with what everyone else thinks is completely different when in fact it is usually the exact same just feels redundant and stupid.

2. Come clean, and risk everything that comes with that sort of thing. Like I said, the agere side of Tumblr is very anti-everything under the ABDL umbrella. Even if I did go back and make strict rules that minors shouldn't follow me even though my content is SFW and non-sexual, I'd be subject to harassment and blocks from literally every corner of that community. Not that I mind, but while I was there I only met a handful of people who were specifically not anti-kink, but still anti-ABDL interaction. Hell, I always thought it was funny that they were so anti-ABDL despite most of the terms they used being stolen directly from ABDL or DDLG terms without even changing them a little bit.

Not that I'm going to rejoin. I left Tumblr before I came back to Missouri. Spent 2012-mid 2021 in that fucking hellhole; almost a decade. Even if over those ten years I learned a lot about myself, it gave me mental problems from everyone expecting me to be in the know with politics from every side of the Earth and having to watch people E-beg every couple minutes because they think they deserve money for being a little different. I would never go back even if I was bribed with a million dollars.

I just wonder... how many other people were there like me? Hiding their ABDL sides under the guise of agere or similar but unable to talk to anyone about it because they were worried they'd be shunned and ostracized? I wish I could find them all and let them know there's better places to be than a shitty blogging site that breaks every couple weeks and is littered with the worst kinds of people.

I think this is making less sense the more I go on and ramble but I am glad agere was the gateway to me realizing I was an ABDL. I'm not glad knowing if any of those people knew that that I'd be harassed over it.

 

[valsroom]

The Bluey shelf has a new addition!! I'm so happy ^w^

 

[valsroom]

So I finally decided to crack open the bag of diapers I got today. Put one on after work and tried to play some video games but the diaper along with my binkie very quickly put me into baby mode and I had to put the controller down because the buttons were hard to use. When I woke up I realized I had to pee really bad so I went into the bathroom and had to take off the underwear I was wearing underneath my diaper (my body's been acting up so I had a pad and underwear on because I didn't want to bleed in it and waste it, except today wasn't a bleeding day once I was home apparently). Slipped the diaper back on and wet it for the first time, it felt weird but not bad... I don't think I'll never do it again but I put a new one on just an hour or two ago and I want to make this one last. Also fluffed this one out because I forgot to do it to the other one; muuuuch better.

Also, as I was putting the diaper on, I noticed Chase was staring very intently at me. It wasn't a grossed out or disgusted stare, just a curious one. He also called me cute which made me flush a bit. I was a bit surprised but I tried to tell him a little about how it gets put on and let him feel the padding (again, this was before I realized I needed to fluff them so I might give him another feel once he gets home). I walked around for it in a bit to show him how not-crinkly mine are since they're cloth-backed and he immediately went for "You could wear them at work but you'd have to make sure you're stocking grocery and the tile guys are working!" which caught me off guard. I did not expect that from him!

 

[valsroom]

Something weird has happened recently. I've been thinking a lot about my boyfriend wearing diapers of his own, dressed in a onesie, with a pacifier and booties. The thought of it makes my heart swell and I can't get it out of my head. I don't even consider myself a carer but I just can't get rid of the feeling of wanting to baby him and take care of him...

Next payday we're going to get him his own onesie because he likes how mine looks and feels...