Suicide

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stanfordhawks

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How many people here have contemplated suicide? Right now I don't know what to do. I feel like I want to die but part of me is holding back. Half of me says to get rid of the pain both emotionally and physically. The other half says I will never have kids. I will not follow my dream and become a doctor. And that would be the end of the Timko name. I don't know what to do. Has anyone been through this before? I've hit rock bottom and can't handle it!

Please Help
 
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KittyKat

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I've thought about suicide hundreds of times. I've attempted suicide twice. Right now I'm not suicidal. I'm pretty happy with my life.

I wish you the best. I don't know what it's like to be in your exact position but I know what it's like to be severely depressed. Life is really hard for you now but it will get better even if it takes years. It took me about 3 years to get over my depression and I finally stopped cutting myself.

My advice for you is to find someone to talk to about your problems or just write them down if you have no one to talk to. Do things that you enjoy or used to enjoy doing every day. Distract yourself. Regressing helps me a lot. I hope you stop feeling suicidal:smile:. I'll be praying for you if that's okay with you.
 
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daria7483

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I've thought about it a gazillion times but never attempted it. I'm glad I didn't. You are 14. You have your whole life ahead of you. You can certainly fulfill your dream and become a doctor if you put in the work required, and you can have a kid or adopt a kid at some point too. In fact you probably will. I don't know what you're going through, but I'm betting it's something that in 1 year, 5 years or 10 years it won't seem like such a big deal. Just hang in there and know that we are all pulling for you and are here if you need to vent.
 

Lone_Wolf

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I have had thoughts of suicide and believe me that is the very last resort, if you need to talk you can IM on msn messenger or pm me on my profile. I have been thru this and hate to say it but if it was not for my FRIEND i would have completed it. Ever since that day i look back and i see now im better than that, their is always something that may want you to do it but DON'T i have been their and it is not a good thing, for my last example i have lost my younger brother (16 yrs old) to it and its was not good. please if you need to talk about their are web sites to go to teachers councilors, but im here if you want to talk. their are better things on the brighter side.
 

weswissa

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I've both thought of and attempted suicide. It was one of the most horrible things in my life. This is what God saved me from. I haven't thought about killing myself since I let Jesus in my life. Anyways the first time I tried it, I was 10 and I tried to fall out of a two-story window, but my dad caught me before I jumped. The second time was with a razor in my bathroom when I was 16. I cut the skin and bled and then my parents wanted to know why I was in the bathroom and I panicked and stopped. Both were when horrible things were happening in my life.
 

ballucanb

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Your 14 you have your whole life in front of you, actually you haven't started to live yet, don't get caught up in this you gotta do this and that world.

Just take everyday as it comes and enjoy yourself, I knew a few guys who commited suicide, just to leave the world behind, the only thing they did was to screw up a good life for themselves and the people around them.

At your age you should be wondering what your going to wear to school tomorrow, and is your homework done, don't worry about 10 or 20 years from now just be a kid like everyone else your age, make the best you can out of the day, and don't worry about nothing but haveing the best time you can, within leagal limits......
 
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I dont really know what your going thru, but why would you actually consider ending your life?! Maybe I am just very fortunate, but in my opinion, its a very selfish thing to do. To hurt the people that love you like that, is almost unforgivable. Times will always get better. And absolutely no offense weswissa, but just out of curiousity, what could make an innocent ten year old want to end there life, that is truly tragic to me. However, i am glad your doing okay now. But, just dont do it. There is no reason too. Period, unless you are terminally ill, and in excrutiating pain, i can see that, but... your 14 for god sakes! Enjoy life, theres so much left we have left to do in this world!
 

Lowie

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I've thought about it alot, and have been very close to trying it, I knows its stupid and wrong but sometimes you just don't know what to do. I thought about it recently but I talked to a couple of friends and they talked me out of it.. It just feels like nobody cares about you or your feelings or something worse. I know for a fact I will always have these thoughts as long as I'm living with my stepdad...
 

weswissa

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And absolutely no offense weswissa, but just out of curiousity, what could make an innocent ten year old want to end there life, that is truly tragic to me.
It was my living arrangements and I was a stupid kid. I assumed jumping head-first into concrete would kill me instantly. If I had done it, it probably would have.
 

Rakai

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I'm in much your position....... everything was looking good military gonna pay for my college I'm gonna go and major in engineering my highest dream. But then everything goes south military option is teetering on destruction with it goes my chance at college and a future. why is it teetering.... they found out about my being gay in the military and now it's their choice to overlook it or kick me out...... IDK whats going on right now.... IDK what to do........ but the one thing that I keep in mind is that somewhere there are people worse off living their lives as happily as they can..... if I take my own life....... I'm a coward and an example of the horrible mind-set of modern humanity....... so try and live as happily as possible......... either your plans will work out or they won't either way you can still be happy...... that is one thing that can't be taken from you........ anyone can persevere and be happy if they truly try so it's all a choice do you wanna be happy or do you wanna die alone given up on yourself?
 

Chillhouse

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Never considered. Why would I want to prematurely end my life for the Great Beyond - something I know nothing about. For all I know, it could be much, much worse than what I'm living.

My life was no picnic, don't get me wrong, but I never suffered depression or any other illness. I always knew things would get better. And they have, and they continue to do so.

I broke it down once, just so I could have something rational to hold on to if I ever became depressed and wanted to commit suicide. What is depression but an unbalancing of chemicals in the brain? Things seem to be much worse than what they actually are when you're depressed, and this is what makes some people want to commit suicide.

At 14, your brain is still developing. I don't know your personal situation, but you'll be a lot more susceptible to dangerous thoughts than, say, a person in their 30's. This is why the suicide rate is so high amongst teens. I say: take a breather, step back, and worry about the present, not the future. You may not become a doctor, and you may not have kids. But somehow, things seem to fall into place. Of course, this doesn't means you can't try your hardest in school and set goals for yourself. It doesn't mean you can't get to know some of your crushes and maybe form relationships. Don't worry, be happy.
 

Mysterious

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Well, suicide can actually be a natural thought, it's when you don't have enough to calm down the mental load you have. However, I do not think you'll kill yourself. Why? Because you mentioned it here, those that are most serious and in most imminent danger, don't talk to others about it, those who aren't sure ask others for help, which is what you've done. Just kinda restated things there, but this is to show you, there is still much hope, as you are still asking for help.

So, as for some things to help, STAY AROUND OTHERS! This is a must, as, when around others you're safer for one, and have a higher chance of enjoying yourself. Also hopefully, others around would stop you if you were to try something. But really, having someone around you helps a lot, provided you let it help. One key note is you have to be willing.

Tell those you trust! It's a must, because if they're aware of the severity, they're more likely to try and help, but make sure you can absolutely trust them. Some may just think, too much drama when I have enough and try to avoid. Just make sure you don't keep it to yourself, as that will only make you feel more secluded and alone.

Get rid of sharp and dangerous objects. And this is an IMPORTANT step, because sometimes an impulse can come, and you never know what can happen. If said impulse comes and you do something... You're either dead, on your way to a psych ward, going to have a VERY shocked family, or if nothing bad happens and no one notices, it'll leave you feeling worse and VERY uncared for. Just keep them away, at this sort of time, they are unneeded.

On a final note, keep doing that which you enjoy. Do what it takes to feel better, to a certain point. If you feel suicidal, just do things to try and improve your life, as I don't think I can really think of anything you'd need to do that is more important than live. I hope all goes well and that you'll eventually feel better.
 

snydead

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So far I have helped about 3 people who thought about death. These friends are like me.

I have thought about death several times in life. Especially when I feel alone, when I feel alone then this sadness and hate starts to build up in my heart. When I was little I was abused (bad, not playing around) by my brother. My mom was usually at work and my dad was always asleep, when I bring up my sadness to my parents they didn't do anything, they didn't even punish my brother. So I always came to my friends for comfort and I was always afraid to come home. Having so much sadness in my life I felt that no one would ever care for me. I never really did care wheather I lived or died. At school I hardly had any friends, the friends that I had never really cared about who I trully am. I once said to a friend of mine that I don't really care weather I live or die, then my friend said that since I don' care about living then run out into the middle of the street and get hit by a car. I looked in his face with a serious look and I started to run towards the street. As I was running I noticed a car coming and when I reached the curb I stopped. I still don't know why I stopped when I was soo determind to make that action. So i have been sad and alone for over 13 years of my life and never felt no happyness. This one day in 10th grade at lunch a girl saw that I was sitting alone and she came to my table at sat down and said that I looked lonely. That was the first time I've ever felt care in my life. After meeting her my life definatly changed for the better.

The friends who I help does think about death and I changed there life by realating part of my life onto theirs. I saved my friends from death and alls i had to do is teach them that not only family can provide care but true friends can. Feeling care from friends meen alot to me and most of my good friends are on the computer and live far away.

I know what it feels like being alone, being a ab/dl and I know what it's like to get judged by other people and by fake friends. I know how it feels to live a life filled with doubt, to feel alone and want to give up on everything. To me now there's no use in thinking about it because I now believe that in the end their is eternal hope for all of us, no matter what the odds and how slim the chance, I still hold onto that hope.

Lastly you maybe standing in a very big storm right now but just to let you know, even though I don't really know you, I'm still gonna say this... I will stand in this storm with you no matter what. I will be by yourside and make sure that the storm will end. Within every darkness there is a light and that light is HOPE. You are not ALONE ANYMORE. WE will ALWAYS be HERE for YOU. Remember if I would of made that action in the past then I wouldn't be saying these words at all, so theres a reason why I live today. Keep those words in mind...
 

Fire2box

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It was my living arrangements and I was a stupid kid. I assumed jumping head-first into concrete would kill me instantly. If I had done it, it probably would have.
I was around maybe 6 or so when I frist really tired to kill myself. If you want the reasons as to why I posted it in another topic on suicide. Anyways I thought jumping from a van going at like 25 MPH would be able to kill be but my step mom stopped me. After that she got my dad to agree to send me to sort of like half group home/half mental hospital near Sacramento (about 45 miles from my home).

But that's enough of my story, your really only 14 so you just started high school I assume and I was nervous about high school as well. But its pretty easy also I must say that you should really try to enjoy your final years of grade school. Your still legally a child and you should enjoy the last 4 years you have of it. Of course you should also study hard but there is a balance that can be found between the two and both should make you pretty happy.

Right now you can still chose anything you want to be, but the secret adults seamed to keep from me is NO ONE knows what they want to exactly be. I know you said you want to be a doctor and I think that's a great idea but once I wanted to be a game designer but I found out I just don't like that type of work.

Anyways I'd suggest talking of your problems with your parents. It not only lets them into your life when they might feel your so independent you don't need them, it also builds a trusting relationship between you. Also they got years of experience to help try and guide you, also they are your parents so I naturally assume they know you pretty well.
 

Sawaa

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Thought about it, did it, succeeded and cause the birth of a whole new me~
 

Boogeyman

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Wow, I thought this thread killed itself. If you can't take a joke like that, don't use the rep button.
 

Emileigh

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I have thought about suicide a few times, simply because I can't stand being sick all the time. But then I thought about how that would affect others in my life, and I didn't do it. My advice is to just talk to someone close to you about it.
 

mizzycub

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I have thought about suicide, but never been in a situation where I could seriously do it. Though I'm not sure what has held me back, whether it is how I feel myself or the fact I couldn't do that to the people in my life - after all suicide is a very selfish act. When I have contemplated it I have felt very down in general, though I have usually had a very bad day before hand when I have thought about it. Luckily it hasn't crossed my mind recently.
 

satyrical

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I contemplated it when I was 13. At the time I was being bullied pretty heavily, doing poorly in school and feeling incredibly pressured by my parents. I'm glad I stayed alive.

Part of going through puberty is that your brain goes haywire, and so extreme emotions, such as depression, are caused by really small things. It makes it really hard to see the big picture- instead, you just focus on the negative things that are going on in the here and now. It's like you're standing in front of a set of prison bars, looking at them. To your left and right there are no bars, but you're only looking straight and seeing yourself as being "trapped." And so you can see suicide as the "only way out," when really, it isn't.

Now, I don't want to make it sound like your feelings are overreactions, because they're not. They're just heightened. And even if it seems like everything is going wrong, you gotta believe that it's going to get better. As the users here have said, there are people here for you. Count me as one of them.

Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem- it's like cutting off your leg because one of your toes hurt. It's not worth it, and if you hold on and ride out whatever storm is going on in your life, I know you'll be glad that you did. As Dolly Parton once said "If you want to see a rainbow, you first have to put up with the rain."

Stay strong.
 
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