success of telling people

[g6s]

Well, I've noticed an increase of people telling others about this thing we all have in common, and posting here about the results. Lately, those results have been, "Oh, they accepted it..." I was curious myself, if my luck would remain, and it did. I even went as far as to say, "can I wear one while I sleep next to you?" to which my girlfriend responded, "Of course, it's not like its a bad thing."

Well, come the next night when she asked if I was going to change, I stopped. What purpose did anything I do serve? Nothing. There was no point in making the situation potentially awkward for either of us.

I keep noticing these good posts about how peoples parent or loved-ones or friends accept it, but no one has given a real reason as to why the told them.

Is be accepted really that important people? What happens if your not accepted? I almost started advocating telling people, but now more than ever, want to tell people that it usually doesn't accomplish anything. I spent a lot of last night wishing I hadn't mentioned anything, even if she did accept it. I don't want a lot of you people going through that.

Anyways, the question is why some people want to tell others so badly, and what they expect out of confessing...

 

[Mr Alex]

I assume people tell becasue it feels good to tell someone else, the extremely overused weight of shoulder's saying. Acceptance feels good. My situation does not. It would feel great if I told my parents or anyone about this and they said OK whatever floats your boat, or OK just keep it hidden. That would be a lot better than what I have now, and if you told your parents, and they didn't reject it and be intolerant of it, they would let you buy them with your own money.

Well, come the next night when she asked if I was going to change

Change, yourself?

 

[010Daniel010]

Is be accepted really that important people? What happens if your not accepted?...Anyways, the question is why some people want to tell others so badly, and what they expect out of confessing...

Acceptance is part of Esteem, which is second highest in Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs.

 

[annierighthurr]

I told my ex-boyfriend because we honestly loved each other, and I thought that it was fair that he knew about something that I consider to be a pretty big part of me. I waited until I found an appropriate time, and as luck would have it, he was very accepting and even became a "daddy" of sorts for a little while (I have a real AB daddy now though and it's way different haha).

I wouldn't tell anybody in my family. What's the use? This is not a part of me THEY need to know. They don't tell me about what they do in secret practice, why should I tell them? Same goes with my friends. It's just not their business. If they asked, I'd be straight up though. I am not ashamed of my TBDLism at all. I love it and have embraced it for what it is. I honestly do not need the acceptance of people who won't ever understand fully and may judge me. Just feeling accepted is NOT a valid reason to tell somebody.

With my ex, I think I had a valid reason to tell him. I lived with him, and at one point, were even having a child together (which I lost). At the time, he was my other half. So why hide things? I am glad I told him even now that we've been broken up for months because he really helped me learn that there is nothing to be ashamed of.

omg that was a long post...

 

[cpndl]

My ex-wife found out about my fetish the hard way. I wish I had told her up front. But I doubt it would have made any difference with her. She was not very accepting of it and in the long run it was one of many factors in our break-up. I do have a female friend of mine that I am working up to tell. She is not my gf, but someone I have know for 28 years. I knew her even before my marriage. I talk to her about a lot of things in my life and find it hard sometimes to lie (even if it's just by omission) to someone that knows pretty much everything else about me. I will most likely start with my bed wetting experiences (See my post in the Diapertalk forum in the Bed wetting not fun thread) and go from there.

cpndl

 

[Eclipse]

Well I have told a good amount of people over my lifetime so far. I have basically told them so that I would be accepted, which does help self esteem like said above. Also it is a good test to your relationship/friendship, if they really care about you, then they will accept your for who you are. Except I mainly only tell females, I only told a my closest guy friend. Plus once they accept it, theres nothing to hide. Also the possibility of them being interested in it which would make the relationship grow some much closer. Theres many reasons I would tell my relationship partner. Also because I can not imagine being married or even in a long term relationship with someone who does not know or does not accept it. It would be a nightmare to have to either stop the lifestyle or hide in shame because of your partner who is supposed to love you no matter what. I see it as not accepting a part of who I am and if they can not accept that then I do not want to be with them. If your going to marry someone who will not accept it then you might as well move back in with your parents or move in with a stranger and spend your effort hiding it from them.

So pretty much my girlfriends are the only people I would ever tell. I would not just go around telling anyone and everyone, that is just wong.

 

[Anon E. Mouse]

You tell a person not only to get that weight off of a heavy heart, but as a sign that "I can trust you with anything." If you do trust them, then telling them should be no problem. Would it be hard to hide it from them? No. Overtime it will be though. Just..let them know. If you really trust them, it's no issue.

 

[Darkfinn]

Besides y'all on here... the only person who knows about this is LuvsGurl... and I guess she's on here too. LOL

 

[Mingus]

I told my girlfriend and best friend. My best friend, I told a few years ago, principally because I wanted someone I could tell. It felt like too much to have it secret from everyone. We don't talk about it much, but it's not an issue of contention.

My girlfriend I told because I love her and didn't want to keep it from her. It's part of who I am, and part of my sexual makeup. She has a right to know about it.

 

[BabyMullet]

Because why not. I'm not broadcasting myself across the radio, I'm just broadcasting my sexuality as much as everyone else. Mine just so happens to revolve around diapers and other fluff.

 

[g6s]

Change, yourself?

out of boxers and into, you know... i opted out of it, if only because it's pointless.

Acceptance is part of Esteem, which is second highest in Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs.

safety does not mean acceptable... the most important is at the bottom and goes up... so acceptance, while it might be important... is not necessary. And why does telling everyone mean you get accepted? Who the hell cares? if they're someone you want to tell, they're already someone that accepts you. Why potentially ruin it?

Because why not. I'm not broadcasting myself across the radio, I'm just broadcasting my sexuality as much as everyone else. Mine just so happens to revolve around diapers and other fluff.

Great, should pedos broadcast their sexuality? I mean, even if they're not the creepy kind that act on their urges, they still shouldn't tell ANYONE unless they're seeking help.

I hear all of your answers... a lot of people tell their girlfriends, but not their family. I speculate there is a link between sexual attraction and the desire to tell someone, if only to bring them closer to what most of us consider a major sexual aspect...

 

[Fire2box]

I told my mom and dad a year or two apart from each other. Anyways my mom said she wished I was gay when she first found out later taking that back. I can understand why she felt that way since she had a lesbian friend before so she was already fine with that. Anyways when I am at my mom's the only thing I do is talk online etc and get my desires out that way. I got a little half brother there that I don't even want knowing about me. Not to mention my mom feels the same way.

My dad on the other hand to me hes been pretty good at hiding any emotions he has (if he has any) so I guess my dad was kind of indiffrent/supportive. I have no idea why he offered to buy me a case of diapers but hell who could pass up that offer. After two cases of Attends style 10 (the crappy attends) he stopped buying for me since well he found out I was using them.

I have no idea how he thought I wasn't using diapers. Me and him got into a vocal fight about that and I guess it was a misunderstanding. But since then he has been fine with my stuffed animals and my pacifier use most of which is really in bed or when I am sick. He's also let me order more diapers online with his cards but I always paid him back on the spot. I did tell him they were diapers but I am pretty sure he guessed it, not to mention XP Medical would of showed up on his statement anyway.

So am I glad I told my parents, Yes I am it worked out for me since now I feel like I got nothing to hide. But it wasn't that big of a thing to hide either. I wouldn't however really support others telling theres unless A. you really want to B. you can pretty much tell how they will react to it and your in favor of said reaction.

But still it might not matter if you tell them and in a few years it wouldn't matter since your living on your own anyways.

 

[James]

Well, I told my 3 best friends. I had known both of them for about 7 years. They were cool with it. They swore not to tell anyone, they've been pretty much great about the whole thing! I was actually surprised but it made me very happy to know i had some true friends i could go to for anything xD

 

[starshine]

Why did I tell? First thought, 'I don't know, I just did!' Then I think about it more and I realize, I told my best friend because I was sick of lying.

I am an honest person... and I hated lying to my best friend.

"Why can't I sleep over?"
"Because I'm busy." ... No, because I have diapers all over my room.

"Why can't I come in?"
"Because my room is messy." ... No, because I have a diaper from last night, and I'm afraid it might smell.

"Why can't I use your computer?"
"Because I have a virus." ... No, because I have abdl favorites I'm afraid of you finding.

My best friend is like family, she's just as good as a sister. I hated, and I mean hated, constantly having to make up excuses as to why I can't do things, why she couldn't do things, go into my room etc... More than often, I had trouble keeping track of my lies, and I didn't want to do it anymore.

 

[Footed P.J.]

Seems kind of liberating in a way.

 

[game_designer]

Well I have only one person about my interist and like about diapers. My friend that I told this to is probably the only person that I would ever say anything about it to. Because I had known him for a few years and we were good friends so I trusted him to keep a secret from everyone else. The reason why I told was because at the time I was really confussed about a lot of things regarding being a AB and DL and I really needed to tell someone about it ad he was the only one that I would trust to take it the wrong way. In the end he was cool with it and was fine about it and just offered some support that I need to here.

 

[Darkfinn]

Why did I tell? First thought, 'I don't know, I just did!' Then I think about it more and I realize, I told my best friend because I was sick of lying.

There are days where I feel like telling some people... but I can just never bring myself to do it.

Ofcourse if you look around my apartment you can probably find signs that something's up. A friend of mine came over the other day... and went to use the restroom. Ofcourse the trash bin had several dirty diapers in it... and there is a bottle of powder and a box of wipes ontop of the potty.

Not that he said anything... but I just wonder what runs through people's heads sometimes.

 

[Dakota13]

Ive had the urge to tell my parents, Though i will probably never tell them not a big deal and with our new home i will be in such better shape my room is up stairs and i can bring things up and not have any problems.

 

[Eclipse]

Ofcourse if you look around my apartment you can probably find signs that something's up. A friend of mine came over the other day... and went to use the restroom. Ofcourse the trash bin had several dirty diapers in it... and there is a bottle of powder and a box of wipes ontop of the potty.

Dude your gettingto careless/lazy. I know it is in your house and all and you have the right to put things where you want. Except if your having people over that are not aware of this and you got some obvious stuff laying out I am pretty sure they can peice together the wearing diaper part. That can be very bad and get around if these people know other people you talk to, and your reputation would be ruined. Even people who might possibly accept it if you told them probably would not accept it because of the negative notation it is being spread. Someone spreading an expeirance like that they saw at your house is going to be way exagerated.
"You would not believe what I saw when I went over BLANK's house! I smelled something funky in the bathroom like piss then I saw these huge dirty dipers in the trash can and even baby powder and wipes on top of the toilet!!!"
That would cause some very bad troubles for you my friend.

 

[010Daniel010]

safety does not mean acceptable... the most important is at the bottom and goes up... so acceptance, while it might be important... is not necessary. And why does telling everyone mean you get accepted? Who the hell cares? if they're someone you want to tell, they're already someone that accepts you. Why potentially ruin it?

The most important physically are on the two bottom rows; its a given that you need oxygen, food, water, and safety to live. But once you get past the lowest form of living you get to the 3 upper levels, where acceptance and friendship are crucial for happiness. You could argue that living without those even threatens your safety. The word Columbine comes to mind.

I don't feel like I need to go out and tell people, but as Mandi stated, she doesn't like lieing to her friends. The person you want to tell already accepts you, but not all of you, not for who you truly are. It sounds cliche, but you could say that you're living a lie, which as we've established threatens your safety.