Submissive. (Need Advice. >.<)

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KageRose

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Hello,
As some of you may know I am new to this forum.
Happy to be here really.
I have but one problem.
I'm a submissive.
The thing is, I am in a switch relationship and don't have the skills to be dominant when that time comes.
I want to be able to punish and yell.
To be strict.
But I don't know how.
Anyone have any suggestions.
I want to make him as happy as he does me, but I can't being this way...

~Kage.
 

Pojo

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Is this a poem? How about writing in a paragraph...How about you just talk to him? I know it sounds completely crazy and out there...But it might just work :eek:
 

Emileigh

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you should talk to him about it and try to figure something out. I'm in the same boat as ya because my bf is just submissive, and i have to be a domme to him, but he cant be a daddy to me. My suggestions if you want to be dominant, to just try your best, that's what I do. There is no wrong or right way to be dominant.
 

avery

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i think you'll get better and better at it as time goes on. but pojo's right: it's going to take a lot of communication. tell him you're having trouble feeling comfortable in a dominant role. he'll be able to give you lots of advice about what you should be doing, and what he does and doesn't like. you can't improve without feedback.
 

ballucanb

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I would ask him, in a setting outside your play, and just try and make his wishes come true.

Or mimic some of his routeens, and see if he enjoys them.
 
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You do know being dominant has nothing to do with being strict, or yelling, right?

See if you can enjoy just controlling what he is allowed to do, if having him give up power to you feels good. You don't have to dress up in black leathers and wave a whip around to dominant a person.
 

Target

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I think a talk with him will be very useful, don't be shy.

I'm sure the courage is inside you, you just need to find i out.
Search in your heart and you'll find it.
 

KageRose

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I've already talked to him about it...
And he says I do just fine...
But...
Just fine isn't good enough...
I want to be good at it...
To be able to care for him like he does me...
 

the0silent0alchemist

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well if your doing fine NOW then later youll be doing better, like you yourslef said your unfamilier with being dominating... give it time, youll improve, just dont expect miracles

oh and realizing its error 404 who your partner is.. well yeah youll do just fine and dandy :D ~giggles~
*huggles* dont give up
 

KageRose

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I just want to be able to surprise him...
Be good at being what he does for me.
I just find it hard, you know.
I don't wanna give up, just getting to the point where I don't know if I can do it... ._.

(P.S alchemist, like the Battle Royal sig. : P )
 
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Well, what's the line between doing fine and doing good?

Anyway, as others have suggested, have a talk and get it sorted. Say you don't feel up to scratch about being in a dominant role and that "doing fine" just isn't a comforting thought for your performance. I'm sure your partner would like to see you do some new things or do your current things a bit differently. With any sort of relationship, communication is key.
 

LittleAdam

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One solution that I see no one else has suggested is that you could try taking some acting lessons. You could learn to "act" dominant without it violating your personality. Rather, you just become a whole other character.

Are you in HS or college? You might be able to take acting lessons through your school/classes at school/school plays. If not, is there a local theater in your area? Many theaters offer acting lessons for members of the community (mostly for kids but there are classes for adults as well.

Maybe, just maybe, through acting you can learn to "act" dominant.
 

Samaki

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If you really want to act dominant, you could always ask him for advice I'm sure that he will understand that you don't know how to act dominant.

If you don't really want to be the dominant and want him to be, then I'm sure he will understand that too, your not used to it, maybe every so often you can try being dominant for him but if you don't want to and don't feel comfortable doing it, then he will understand.
 

Lorica

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Hello,
As some of you may know I am new to this forum.
Happy to be here really.
I have but one problem.
I'm a submissive.
The thing is, I am in a switch relationship and don't have the skills to be dominant when that time comes.
I want to be able to punish and yell.
To be strict.
But I don't know how.
Anyone have any suggestions.
I want to make him as happy as he does me, but I can't being this way...

~Kage.
I can probably help you out here as I'm a long time BDSM player.

By what you've written you are predominantly submissive. You are going to have a hard time acting dominant and it's going to take practice. It is something you are just predisposed to.

Think of this like putting on a different personality.

You may even need to try scripting out a particular fantasy that your partner would like to enjoy.

One of the "tricks" to being dominant is to play head games. Telling the submissive to do one thing, and when they do it, act as if that isn't what you wanted and then punish them.

Probably the best thing to do is get involved with a local BDSM support group, and apprentice yourself to a Dominant. They'll teach you what to do, how to do it.
 
E

Error404

Guest
Darling, you still amaze me every day. I'm so proud that you're taking these steps to be yet even more special to me.

I enjoy looking after you and the fact that you're doing this makes me ever more glad that we are together. If you never can find yourself Dominant, I won't see you as any less as I have you now. I won't deny that we would perhaps have the odd argument as I would occasionally become frustrated that I have no outlet, but it if it turns out that way, so be it.

It's great that we can just be together, if you do learn to be more dominant then that's great, but if not, then, I guess I'll just have to deal with having you permanently diapered and in your Lolita dresses. Hardly a bad prize.

Being half dominant, half submissive myself, I can teach you everything I have to teach when I'm in the correct mindset. But, I am either/or, it's a yes/no thing, I'm either regressed or I'm not.

All I can say, I guess, is thank you. This is a long and hard journey, no doubt, but I'd love no more for than us to take this journey together.

I'll be ready to catch you when you fall and carry you through the hardships, and, hopefully, at the end, you'll develop and learn enough that you'll be able to do the very same for me.

Keep it up princess.

All my love and more.

Danny~ <3
 

KageRose

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You know, you make it very hard to surprise you! >.<
No fair!
Who told! >O

o_o I was gonna get some advice and try to surprise you...
But...
I guess...
Surprise... u_u

Not much of one anymore...
I'm just glad it makes you happy.
Permanently diapered?
Lolita dress?
Can the dress have emerald ribbons?!
I would like that very much!
And can I wears a top hat?
I've always wanted a top hat... o_o
 
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