Stupid stories from travel agents

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Vladimir

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Why Americans Should Never Be Allowed To Travel
The following are actual stories provided by travel agents.



I had someone ask for an aisle seats so that his or her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window.

A client called in inquiring about a package to Hawaii. After going over all the cost info, she asked, "Would it be cheaper to fly to California and then take the train to Hawaii?"

I got a call from a woman who wanted to go to Capetown. I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport information when she interrupted me with "I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts. "Without trying to make her look like the stupid one, I calmly explained, "Capecod is in Massachusetts, Capetown is in Africa." Her response ... click.

A man called, furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando. He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that is not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state. He replied, "Don't lie to me. I looked on the map and Florida is a very thin state."

I got a call from a man who asked, "Is it possible to see England from Canada?" I said, "No." He said "But they look so close on the map."

Another man called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas. When I pulled up the reservation, I noticed he had a 1-hour lay over in Dallas. When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, "I heard Dallas was a big airport, and I need a car to drive between the gates to save time."

A nice lady just called. She needed to know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:20am and got into Chicago at 8:33am. I tried to explain that Michigan was an hour ahead of llinois, but she could not understand the concept of time zones. Finally I told her the plane went very fast, and she bought that!

A woman called and asked, "Do airlines put your physical description on your bag so they know who's luggage belongs to who?" I said, "No, why do you ask?" She replied, "Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said FAT, and I'm overweight, is there any connection?" After putting her on hold for a minute while I "looked into it" (I was actually laughing) I came back and explained the city code for Fresno is FAT, and that the airline was just putting a destination tag on her luggage.

I just got off the phone with a man who asked, "How do I know which plane to get on?" I asked him what exactly he meant, which he replied, "I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these darn planes have numbers on them."

A woman called and said, "I need to fly to Pepsi-cola on one of those computer planes." I asked if she meant to fly to Pensacola on a commuter plane. She said, "Yeah, whatever."

A businessman called and had a question about the documents he needed in order to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded him he needed a visa. "Oh no I don't, I've been to China many times and never had to have one of those." I double checked and sure enough, his stay required a visa. When I told him this he said, "Look, I've been to China four times and every time they have accepted my American Express."

A woman called to make reservations, "I want to go from Chicago to Hippopotamus, New York" The agent was at a loss for words. Finally, the agent: "Are you sure that's the name of the town?" "Yes, what flights do you have?" replied the customer. After some searching, the agent came back with, "I'm sorry, ma'am, I've looked up every airport code in the country and can't find a Hippopotamus anywhere." The customer retorted, "Oh don't be silly. Everyone knows where it is. Check your map!" The agent scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, "You don't mean Buffalo, do you?" "That's it! I knew it was a big animal!"


Edit: The title has been changed by a mod, you know that I would never type a title without adding a capital at the beginning of each word! :p
 
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ayanna

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*shakes head*

The worst of it is...the stories are all true (or at least based in fact) LOL

Sad sad sad....
 

kevintje

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A businessman called and had a question about the documents he needed in order to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded him he needed a visa. "Oh no I don't, I've been to China many times and never had to have one of those." I double checked and sure enough, his stay required a visa. When I told him this he said, "Look, I've been to China four times and every time they have accepted my American Express."
priceless :rofl:
 

Pramrider

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Good ones, DarkSun! :biggrin: "....train to Hawaii....":laugh:

~Pramrider
 

Darkfinn

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an underwater train to hawaii might be kinda fun.... make a big glass tunnel across the ocean floor...
 

Vladimir

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I found that thanks to StumbleUpon, thought it was funny. :p
 
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d4l

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Every nationality has stupid people in it and im sure i could find stupid people from canada also to generalize all Americans as you did in your above post is prejudice. (not to mention the way you wined in my british kids thread)
 

care_a_lot

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I found that piece incredibly humourous! It reminds me of this movie I once saw called Mumbo Italiano which had a travel agent in it who did just that.

A guy rings up irrated as he isn't where he was expecting to be and the following converasation goes on (I tried to write it as close as I remember so to those who have seen the movie and remember it exactly I appologise)


Angelo: Well you see sir they don't need a new glascow in england they have the old one.

Well you see sir many years ago people from Glascow England came over here and they founded New Glascow and they called it New Glascow because it was new. Now theoretically speaking some time in the future we should be able to travel between the two without moving either time or space but in the meantime may I tell you that they are definetely two different places. Did I mention that New Glascow has waterslides they are fun!

*hangs up on customer*

I can't believe that there are actually people out there like this are there? :D
 

Chillhouse

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Every nationality has stupid people in it and im sure i could find stupid people from canada also to generalize all Americans as you did in your above post is prejudice. (not to mention the way you wined in my british kids thread)
Another reason Americans shouldn't be allowed to travel: They get offended at the simplest jokes that are not meant to patronize them, but to share humour in an obviously unreal situation via generalizations.

No stupid people in Canada. No sir. We're all beer-drinking, igloo-building, dogsled-traveling, polite folk.
 
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an underwater train to hawaii might be kinda fun.... make a big glass tunnel across the ocean floor...
ther's actually plans for a transatlantic underwater tunnal. it would span from Vergina (or some other state, i'm not sure) to Paris. and if everything works out, the trip would only take an hour. i doubt that its ever going to happen in my lifetime, but scientists are looking into it.
 

Corri

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Hey now, remember. The smart Americans may be few and far between, but they make up for the dumb ones!
How would you like to still be driving a horse and buggy huh?
Oh, lets not forget airplanes, LINUX, Mac, Windows (when it was good), Xbox, Hershey's chocolate, the CDC, MIT, YALE.
 

Vladimir

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Every nationality has stupid people in it and im sure i could find stupid people from canada also to generalize all Americans as you did in your above post is prejudice. (not to mention the way you wined in my british kids thread)
Heh, didn't I mention I just found it funny? It's not like I said all Americans are idiots, and I didn't even write it. Talking about another thread that was a while ago in a completely unrelated one is... umm, off-topic?

Either way, if you don't like it, just blame the guy who wrote it.
 
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no i did not do that on perpose. i've never been able to spell, so i sound it out. and i herd an e. sorry if i offended anyone.
 

d4l

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I maintain that there are more stupid Americans per square yard than there are stupid brits, germans, or austrailians.
Where are you sources for this? All your doing now is blowing hot air.

besides i remember some one saying that Australia has a large chav population that is un educated.

Heh, didn't I mention I just found it funny? It's not like I said all Americans are idiots, and I didn't even write it. Talking about another thread that was a while ago in a completely unrelated one is... umm, off-topic?
Right you never said all Americans are idiots...the title of the thread is what again? Also if you can't see the correlation between my british kids thread and this one....i don't really know what to say to you.
 

Darkfinn

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no i did not do that on perpose. i've never been able to spell, so i sound it out. and i herd an e. sorry if i offended anyone.
Oh... I see... well... tis all good.

Historical reference... the state of Virginia was named for Queen Elizabeth I of England... known as "The Virgin Queen" b/c she never married.

So... when you think of Virginia... think of virgins... maybe it will help with the spelling. :biggrin:
 

Vladimir

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Where are you sources for this? All your doing now is blowing hot air.

besides i remember some one saying that Australia has a large chav population that is un educated.
Haha, both of you need proofs, then.

I hope it doesn't turn into a racist thread, I've been told that Americans feel free to say anything about other countries (stereotypes and stuff) but they always get mad when you say something about them. :p

D4L said:
Right you never said all Americans are idiots...the title of the thread is what again?
It's the title of the page.
 

Darkfinn

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Where are you sources for this? All your doing now is blowing hot air.
besides i remember some one saying that Australia has a large chav population that is un educated.
Nonononono....

This...



Blows hot air.

I was being sarcastic... cracking a joke... going along with the punch line... etc.

and speaking of uneducated...
 
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