Strange...why does this happen?

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diaperedteenager

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I have noticed for a while now that this...

Why is it that guys can be complete assholes to their female friends and still have them as friends.

Example: Today in gym we were out side and this one guy went to his friend and said" Say your sorry, or you're going in the mud" and carried her over there and almost threw her in, all she did was laugh about it and punch him.

Now, I am not an asshole what so ever to girls I talk to and yet...I am ignored by them. Why is it like this??? Why aren't the assholes the ones to be ignored and people like me get befriended by girls????

Any thoughts in regards to this?
 
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goofing off and being an ass hole are two completly different things. If he did throw her in, that would be being an ass hole, and she would not be friends with him. but he didn't, so it was a joke, so she laughed and they are still friends.

Also, some girls do have a sence of humer and would laugh at that, but some girls don't. He probably knows her well enough to know that she thinks it would be funny. If he knew she would hate him for doing it, I doubt he would have.
 

Dawes

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I'm an asshole, but girls associate with me. In fact, most of my friends are female.

I don't put them up on pedestals. I don't bow to their feet as if they're goddesses. I treat them like normal people, and while I may be an asshole, I'm also respectful and know how to be polite without being creepy. Girls are just normal people who like to laugh at normal things. Don't gawk at them, make doe-eyes at them, follow them around like a puppy-dogs, or act like they are absolvently innocent creatures.

Bingo. Normality is key.
 

ballucanb

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Why I will tell you why, you are nice guy, girls do not want nice guys yet, they only want nice guys after they date all of the dangreous/a-holes/jerks, later on you may popular or dateable.

But right now it is all the jerks that get the attention from the girls, not nice guys.

It was the same for me when I was your age, and I'm sure it hasn't changed one bit.:wallbash:
 

Darkfinn

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Remember that quote from "The Mask" Nice guys finish last.[/B]

A lot of young teenage girls want the asshole.
 
A

annierighthurr

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Uhh that doesn't sound like an asshole, that sounds like he was just playfully kidding around, flirting probably. Maybe you should just understand some dynamics of male/female relations before you assume thats a guy being an asshole.

As far as I know, goofing around and teasing each other as part of dating has long since been a teenage rite of passage.

P.S. It's fun, try it sometime.
 

diaperedteenager

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Gah...I just don't understand girls!!! They are too complicated. So what am I supposed to do here...change my personality???
 

Chillhouse

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Why I will tell you why, you are nice guy, girls do not want nice guys yet, they only want nice guys after they date all of the dangreous/a-holes/jerks, later on you may popular or dateable.

But right now it is all the jerks that get the attention from the girls, not nice guys.

Misconception number one: Girls only want assholes, and nice guys finish last.

Sorry, it ain't true. Women want confident men, not assholes. Those guys who follow women around, treating them like they're royalty and stuff, THEY always finish last.

Then there's guys who pick up drunk women and take them home. THOSE are the assholes. But confident assholes.

There's a balance. You have to be nice, but confident. And just as Rance said, you have to treat them normaly, just like any other person.

That guy in the OP was not an asshole. He was playing around. I cant see anyting assholish about that at all.

known from personal experience
 

diaperedteenager

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ok, so when i talk to a girl i get really really nerveous and i shake really bad. I asked a girl to borrow some hand lotion and when handing the bottle back my hand was shaking so bad. Does this mean that i am looked at by her as unappealing?
 

Chillhouse

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ok, so when i talk to a girl i get really really nerveous and i shake really bad. I asked a girl to borrow some hand lotion and when handing the bottle back my hand was shaking so bad. Does this mean that i am looked at by her as unappealing?

hehe, dude, iunno what she thinks.

Chill out, man. Womyn are just people. Most of them don't bite. I can't give you any more advice than this because it's up to you to change how you act around the ladies.
 

teddy564339

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Misconception number one: Girls only want assholes, and nice guys finish last.

Sorry, it ain't true. Women want confident men, not assholes. Those guys who follow women around, treating them like they're royalty and stuff, THEY always finish last.

Then there's guys who pick up drunk women and take them home. THOSE are the assholes. But confident assholes.

There's a balance. You have to be nice, but confident. And just as Rance said, you have to treat them normaly, just like any other person.

This basically sums everything up just about perfectly. It's a lot more about confidence than being a jackass.


The only thing is that some girls do get an appeal out of a guy who doesn't treat her well or give her attention (kind of like playing hard to get). It's because they like/want a challenge. They feel like if they can make a guy treat her well, then they've won the challenge. In these cases, it's the girl who's putting the guy on the pedestal.

That's why in some cases, a girl will stick with a real asshole. It's his confidence that first attracts the girl to him, but it's this challenge idea that keeps her with him.


However, with most girls it's like Chillhouse said....they want a confident guy who has a mix of strength and sensitivity.

It's like one of my favorite quotes: "Women want a man that can change a tire and that can change a diaper." ;)
 

Mandy

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Uhh that doesn't sound like an asshole, that sounds like he was just playfully kidding around, flirting probably. Maybe you should just understand some dynamics of male/female relations before you assume thats a guy being an asshole.

As far as I know, goofing around and teasing each other as part of dating has long since been a teenage rite of passage.

P.S. It's fun, try it sometime.

Exactly what she said. I see this kind of stuff everyday.
 

Klokwork

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Why bring logic into it? They're women! Bringing intelligence into a conversation about women is like bringing physics into a conversation about anime. Women love being treated like shit all the time. It gives them something to complain about. Think about it, what one person does a woman complain about more than anyone else? Her best friend. Women don't understand comraderie or friendship, that's why there are no women bands. Hell, there are even male feminists. Want to know why? because without men, women can't do shit. If all feminists were women they would start fighting with each other. Google "women's suffrage", and you'll see what I'm talking about.

But I digress, women like assholes because they have short attention spans, and can only think about themselves, much like six year olds (women as it turns out, are just big expensive children you can fuck). Why did this girl react positively to being thrown around/ Because the guy made it all about HER! Think about it. It forced everyone to notice her. She was in the limelight. It's hard to put someone in the limelight by being nice to them. Who's more newsworthy, the thief or the guy who gives to charity? Who gets More attention, a damsel in distress, or a woman well taken care of?

Damn, I'm so right it hurts!
 
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dogboy

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Hahahahaha, I just don't even know how to follow that. I suspect Deathklok that you will hear from the other sex rather harshly. Then there's all the members on this site who have no sense of humor. As for dating women, it's not like there is just one kind of woman, just like there is no set kind of guy. We are all different looking for different things in our mate. For me personally, I needed a woman who would help me entice victims in my serial killing sprees. She's really quite different than most of the girls you see in high school. Actually, we are both different than most of the population, and so we found each other. You just have to get into the game, go out on dates, be yourself, and listen to her as much as she listens to you.
 

Gingy

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Personally. I find it so annoying! I don't do it, but lots of guys in my school do. It's distracting in class, and if I were the girl, I just wouldn't want to be treated that poorly. (not even as a guy)
My friends are all nice... To nice people at least!
 

Dawes

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You asked for hand lotion from a girl?

There is much here that needs to be fixed.
 

ZombifiedKitty

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While I agree with chillhouse, I think its necessary to point out that as we grow up we still try to figure out ourselves and how it relates to those around us. Some but by no means all teenage girls struggle to develop a strong sense of self respect as well as figuring out what they should expect of others. If you're surrounded by A-holes then you won't have anything else to compare to, if you're used to being treated sub-par then you won't know any different. Now yes most everyone knows in there mind all about this stuff however on a subconcious level this twisted logic might still be at work.

Those are just my two cents, personally if guys grow a pair and everybody wised up a bit things would be better, but good things come with time.
 

Trevor

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You asked for hand lotion from a girl?

There is much here that needs to be fixed.

Thank you! I just chalked this up to a generational difference, but perhaps not. Some sort of practical joke is the only reason I can think of why I'd be wanting hand lotion from a girl (or anyone) in high school.

To the OP, I prescribe some Steve McQueen movies, and/or The Tao of Steve, stat!

 

diaperedteenager

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So I can't ask for lotion??? My hands hurt b/c they were so dry...am I just supposed to deal with it?
 
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