Spark Theory

[T00L]

I'd really like this post to be better written but I’m pretty prone to rambling and I’m not very articulate so here it goes.

This post is about something that I’ve been pondering upon a lot lately. For those who don't know I've always been very interested in the psychology of why we are AB/DLs. It’s always fascinated me how we end up the way we are because there are so few of us. I've always contemplated the "Why me?" and the "Why Us?"

However enough about my interests you've clicked on this thread to read about something called "Spark Theory". Now what is Spark Theory you ask? It’s the result of my latest ponderance. Having been involved in the community since about the age of 13 I’ve made a lot of friends through out the years some of which have told other people about their AB/DLism and some who have chosen to keep it personal. For the people who have told someone whether it be a friend or a significant other the reactions have always turned out mixed. Some people are rejected for their desires, some are not bothered by the fetish and are fine with it but have no desire to participate and some actually become AB/DLs themselves.

Now the accepted theory on why we are AB/DLs in my opinion is that there is some kind of stimulus that happens to us early in life that triggers us becoming AB/DL. Now the question that I would like to present to the community is what of the people who become AB/DLs through some kind of exposure to an AB/DL later in life. My theory is that we are born with something that for the sake of giving it a term we shall refer to as "The Spark". Now those of us that become AB/DLs have our sparks "ignited" sometime in our early life. What becomes of those that are born with the spark that does not have it ignited? Well the obvious answer is that they don't become AB/DLs because they were not exposed to the proper stimulus to make them AB/DLs. Now say later in life they are exposed to some kind of triggering event through another AB/DL and they themselves become AB/DL. That would lead me to believe that they had the same potential as us but without the catalytic event in their childhood that would have made them an AB/DL.

Basically in a nutshell what I’m proposing is that of every random sampling of people so many people have the potential to become AB/DL and then of those people there is a smaller number whose lives were witness to an event or series of events that made us AB/DL.

I don't know this could all just be crazy but it’s just something I’ve been thinking about and hoped to share and discuss with the community.

Edit: I failed to give credit to Yawgy for discussing this idea I had with me and helping to refine it into a theory. His interactions with his current girlfriend are what finally made me want to release this to ADISC.

 

[Korey]

Hmmmmmmmm ill see if I can try to continue with this. Always hard when its someone elses theory...

I guess your partially right in a way... But the "spark" is just giving a name to an "unconditioned mind"

Your being too specific.

Its more like your born with a neutral mind and there is a certain combination of factors ranging from the lessons your parents teach you, to the friends you had to your physical appearance that can trigger ABDL.

I think were both trying to think too hard though, as I have no idea what im saying nor do I have any proof to back it on.

Lately i've been thinking its far more simple than you would want to believe, thats why people search to extremes to find the answer.

Its just partially unconsciously wanting to go back to the days where you were babied and had no responsibilities, and there are an infinite number of ways that can happen.

Yeah, nobody's story is the same, and there isn't some mathematical formula to figure out why somebody is ABDL, I don't think.......






Hope that helped or gave you something to work with....

 

[avery]

if someone is introduced to AB/DL-ism later in life their reaction to it is liable to depend on a whole lot of environmental factors -- how open-minded they are, their feelings about the person who exposes them to it, any other fetishes they might possess, their upbringing, etc. i think that getting interested in infantilism later in life is very different from being one since early childhood. it's a decision you make, rather than something that happens to you involuntarily.

it seems like it's fairly easy for most people to cultivate sexual interests, especially if it ties in with something they're already interested in. although i think there will always be people who can't manage it, no matter how open-minded they are and how hard they try.

i recall reading that the current thinking is that a certain number of people are particularly susceptible to fetishes in general, although it isn't certain whether they were born that way or became that way later in life. people like that would be more likely to experience certain events in early childhood as a "trigger" that would lead them to develop a sexual interest in diapers or in some other fetish object. it's not a very illuminating theory, but it's the best explanation i've heard.

....interesting thread!

 

[annierighthurr]

If you just follow basic psychology knowledge, most of us have acquired this through classical conditioning that occured either in really early life or during puberty. I guess that could be considered a "spark".

 

[Talula]

If you just follow basic psychology knowledge, most of us have acquired this through classical conditioning that occured either in really early life or during puberty. I guess that could be considered a "spark".

You're suggesting that every *bdl has been conditioned into thinking that the majority of regular society wears diapers into their teens and beyond? Just as we're conditioned into using cutlery, saying excuse me after a burp, and not squealing in a strange tone at every opportunity...

 

[h3g3l]

You're suggesting that every *bdl has been conditioned into thinking that the majority of regular society wears diapers into their teens and beyond? Just as we're conditioned into using cutlery, saying excuse me after a burp, and not squealing in a strange tone at every opportunity...

No, I think she's suggesting that this is an S-R chain that starts by feeling good in diapers, and perpetuates with more diapers (the "binge" cycle). It is the social overtones of "wrongness" or "badness" that we push against (in "purge" cycles).

The only thing remaining is the obvious: what started the first stimulus, caused us to wear the first unnecessary diaper? And this, I think, is what the OP is trying to answer. Otherwise it's turtles all the way down.

With respect to "binge" and "purge" cycles, I would posit that we are simply wavering between acceptances in attempting to resolve our cognitive dissonance - we like diapers, but dislike the negative social connotation, societal infraction, etc. In an effort to resolve this, we go through "binge" and "purge" cycles in turn. Some find resolution (the 24/7 wearers here; Darkfinn and LuvsGurl come to my mind), but I suspect that most of us do not.

 

[Talula]

Ahh, ok, that makes a bit more sense. Cheers for explaining

 

[ShippoFox]

Anyone technically has the potential to be TB/AB/DL, but the potential is just near zero for some, but really high for others. The spark really is hard to pin down because it isn't really like one single spark. It's like a bunch of sparks that work together. It isn't quite the same for everyone though. There are those who have some easily recognized "sparks" and some who would say they just like diapers and have no clue what could have triggered it. Well I guess my conclusion is that it's just very, very complex.

 

[PFD]

We don't go where we can't. There is some sort of predisposition, some kind of itch or yen, some missing piece creating a tension. The spark can cause that tension to be relieved by diapers, or even the idea that diapers will relieve it. Or the next level of the obsession can be attained due to the predisposition-spark-relief cycle. It's an interesting topic and psychological process.

 

[Nam Repaid]

I think Helpless got Tool’s theory the closest. I think his point is there are people out there who would become DL. That is they have the unignited spark or are preconditioned, but don’t know what’s missing in their life because they have not thought of or been exposed to it. This would based on the growing number of new members turned on to this by their friends and lovers.

Nam

 

[FullMetal]

That was interesting T00L, but can I give you a counterpoint?

Though it is really not likely that we will ever know if we are born with a 'Spark' it is just more reasonable to go with environmental thought when approaching a subject such as infantilism. Since the time we are conceived- we are 'aware.' To be aware is to have any knowledge of ones self and what happens around them. Let me give you an example I personally thought was interesting.

As a baby, of two or three, is playing with mother and having a good time, the phone rings. The mother hears the phone ring, and so does the baby. The mother gets up, goes into the kitchen, away from the child and answers the phone. The mother gets bad news.

Now, when the mother comes back, she is sad or maybe even angry. The baby wants to play but, you see, the mothers mood is different and she does not want to play with him because of it. What does the baby take from this? Obviously all he knows. The mother was playing with him happily, the phone then rang, and when she came back, she does not want to play with him.

Now, I am not saying that the child will take revenge against the phones one day and save people from phone cancer or something, but that memory, even if he was only one years old or two, is stored in his memory, forever there.

Well, when the boy is older, something will trigger that memory. And maybe he wont remember everything, but the feelings he felt will arise and he will take something from that experience.

My thought? Since we have so many of these factors in our lives that can spring up, and do, we find outlets from these and ours was diapering up and drinking from a sippy cup. Everyone is different, but we all share an X factor, millions of them that change who we are every second of everyday.

FullMetal

 

[mizzycub]

Well I can defintiely think of a spark in my life. Of course there will probably have been other experiences that made me more likely to become an infantilist but I can think of a very particular moment in my life when before I never even thought of diapers (or, as you will see from my story, really knew what they were), and almost immediately afterwards I wanted to wear them. From what I have heard of my early life and what I can remember I had good contact with both my parents, was never abused or anything and was potty trained at a pretty normal time for the UK - so none of what people often think of as possible causes seem to apply to me.

I was 6 years old, so it isn't especially in later life or anything, but it is a distinct spark. I am an only child, and I was a particularly naive one. I also have a bad habit of when I stay in a room other than my own I have to check every single cupboard and drawer etc. I have to or I just don't feel comfortable in a room that isn't my own. I had it even back then. Maybe it even sprouts from me doing it then, on the vague hope of finding diapers. Well anyway it was bedtime. I was staying with my grandparents, lnooking around my room and I found something that I didn't recognise that I now know was a disposible diaper for my (then) baby cousin. I put it on and went to sleep. When I woke up next morning I realised what it was and took it off with disgust... but then next evening I put it on again. Not long afterwards an obsession with wearing diapers. Over the next two years my TB interests developed for I dunno what reason.

So for me I can think of a definite spark. I dunno if this is the sort of thing you were looking for, but I think it is related, so I thought I should share my story.

 

[soren456]

My thought? Since we have so many of these factors in our lives that can spring up, and do, we find outlets from these and ours was diapering up and drinking from a sippy cup. Everyone is different, but we all share an X factor, millions of them that change who we are every second of everyday.

FullMetal

I think FullMetal comes closest to my own experience and fumbling thought on the matter. I think that the shared X Factor is human wiring itself.

In my mind, the makeup of each person is like a stew, to which uncounted ingredients are added, and from which no ingredient may fully be extracted. The stew is a recognizable human personality but with a totally unique flavor. None of us is a duplicate; we all have fingerprints, but each of ours is also unique (and I use "unique" in its proper meaning).

What I think I'm saying is that, as humans, we're all wired basically the same, but that our circuits change with the input of individual experience, and our singular personality is thus made. And even though we fall (fortunately) into some large general categories--ABTB or DL for example--singularity is still the norm; finding a match even within these categories is a source of ongoing frustration.

So why are we AB or DL? I have no hesitation in saying that the path is essentially different for each of us, but because of our basic similarities. Our wiring permits a unique path and a unique outcome in every case, and proceeds to do exactly that.

 

[Yawgmoth]

Edit: I failed to give credit to Yawgy for discussing this idea I had with me and helping to refine it into a theory. His interactions with his current girlfriend are what finally made me want to release this to ADISC.

Yawgmoth's Good News
I suppose now is a good time to announce my good news. As of around two months ago, I told my girlfriend about my DLism. Surprisingly enough, she not only accepted it, but she also wanted to participate. The same night I told her, we had went to Wal-Mart and bought her a pack of goodnites. Within a week, she had asked for a pacifier, baby blanket, and a bottle, and now she considers herself an AB.

Anyway, I've been keeping my very close friends in the community updated on these events in my life, and they're just as amazed about all of it as I am. In fact, JayJ gave the whole thing a little too much publicity on his site under the updates section. However, it was T00l who impressed me the most with this "spark theory."

Origins of the "Spark Theory" Name
The "spark" is a concept from Magic: The Gathering; it refers to a special attribute in some individuals that cause them to ascend to being what's referred to as a "planeswalker." I'm not going to explain what a planeswalker is, that's irrelevant. What is relevant, however, is that about 1 out of every 1,000,000 people will have a "planeswalker spark", and 1 out of every 1,000 people with the spark will actually have it "ignite". The "ignition" of the spark is the individual realizing the possession of it.

Spark Theory Applied to ABDLism
Given my recent experience with my girlfriend, it would seem as though there are some people who have the potential (spark) to become ABDLs, but never do; instead they remain "dormant," meaning the "spark" goes unrealized.

So, here are some points that I think sound reasonable toward the ABDL Spark Theory...
(Note: These statistics aren't based on anything but Yawgmoth's educated guesses.)

• 1 in about 1,500 are born with the ABDL Spark.
• 7 out of 10 people with the ABDL Spark will realize it.
• The remaining 3 out of 10 will become Dormant ABDLs, never realizing they are ABDL.
• If the Dormant ABDLs were exposed to ABDLism, they would realize that they are, indeed, ABDL.

I'm not sure how much this all contributed to the overall thread. I'll be the first to admit that I tl'dr the whole thing. Anyway, I hope this helps refine the theory.



Edit: In response to Full Metal's post, saying "born" may be the wrong term. Instead, perhaps "acquire" would be a better fit. So, rather than saying "1 in 1,500 are born with the ABDL spark." it would be more correct to say, "1 in 1,500 will acquire the ABDL spark."

 

[Maxicoon]

Personally I think some are "sparked" into becoming an ab/dl and others (like myself) either can't remember the spark or are simply "born" with a predisposition toward it. Of course this can be applied to almost anything in life. Like a mental disorder some people are born with things like autism others may develop a disorder over time. With the proper "stimulus" anyone is prone to develop something to some degree.

(But this is all just from what I've observed in myself and others and i don't have anything to back this up.)

 

[Yawgmoth]

Personally I think some are "sparked" into becoming an ab/dl and others (like myself) either can't remember the spark or are simply "born" with a predisposition toward it.

This makes perfect sense. My gf told me that her whole life she enjoyed pacifiers, playing with baby toys, and rattles. She also told me that while her brother was just a baby, she'd occasionally fall asleep in his crib. This all took place before she was exposed to the ABDL world, so thus the predisposition is always there. What I assert is that the individual remains "dormant" until they realize the full ABDL community and all that comes with it.

 

[Trevor]

Personally I think some are "sparked" into becoming an ab/dl and others (like myself) either can't remember the spark or are simply "born" with a predisposition toward it. Of course this can be applied to almost anything in life. Like a mental disorder some people are born with things like autism others may develop a disorder over time. With the proper "stimulus" anyone is prone to develop something to some degree.

This makes perfect sense. My gf told me that her whole life she enjoyed pacifiers, playing with baby toys, and rattles. She also told me that while her brother was just a baby, she'd occasionally fall asleep in his crib. This all took place before she was exposed to the ABDL world, so thus the predisposition is always there. What I assert is that the individual remains "dormant" until they realize the full ABDL community and all that comes with it.

I think that misses out the people, such as myself, who knew what they were before ever knowing there even was a larger AB/DL community. I thought I was the only one and I didn't have to know that there were others before I knew I was pretty different. Seeing there were more like me was an immense relief and it changed how I thought about things, but I'd have still been a DL with or without anyone else. Some feel the urge more strongly than others.

 

[Yawgmoth]

I think that misses out the people, such as myself, who knew what they were before ever knowing there even was a larger AB/DL community. I thought I was the only one and I didn't have to know that there were others before I knew I was pretty different. Seeing there were more like me was an immense relief and it changed how I thought about things, but I'd have still been a DL with or without anyone else. Some feel the urge more strongly than others.

Well, that alone does not defeat the theory. Instead, it only demands an addition of a third category: The Self-Discoverer.

So now we have three different types of ABDL...

1. The "Dormant" ABDL
This person has ABDL tendencies/desires, but never fully realizes what he/she is due to lack of information, and the existence, of the ABDL Community.

2. The Self-Discoverer
This person is someone who discovered they were an ABDL without having been exposed to the ABDL community beforehand. [Addendum: However, I'd like to assert that although you may have discovered ABDLism yourself, you're not fully an ABDL (although very close) until you find the community.]

3. The Realized ("ignited") ABDL
This person has been exposed to the ABDL Community, and thus has a greater awareness of what they are. Also, additional comfort will come to this person in finding out that they are not alone in their desires. (This would be all of you.)

Now, with this revelation, I'd like to also say that #'s 1, or 2 are necessary to reach #3. But, perhaps, that goes without saying...


tl;dr: The existence of a Self-Discoverer does not fully refute the idea of the "ABDL Spark", it merely shows that there are alternatives to it.

 

[Trevor]

Well, that alone does not defeat the theory. Instead, it only demands an addition of a third category: The Self-Discoverer.

So now we have three different types of ABDL...

1. The "Dormant" ABDL
This person has ABDL tendencies/desires, but never fully realizes what he/she is due to lack of information, and the existence, of the ABDL Community.

2. The Self-Discoverer
This person is someone who discovered they were an ABDL without having been exposed to the ABDL community beforehand. [Addendum: However, I'd like to assert that although you may have discovered ABDLism yourself, you're not fully an ABDL (although very close) until you find the community.]

3. The Realized ("ignited") ABDL
This person has been exposed to the ABDL Community, and thus has a greater awareness of what they are. Also, additional comfort will come to this person in finding out that they are not alone in their desires. (This would be all of you.)

Now, with this revelation, I'd like to also say that #'s 1, or 2 are necessary to reach #3. But, perhaps, that goes without saying...


tl;dr: The existence of a Self-Discoverer does not fully refute the idea of the "ABDL Spark", it merely shows that there are alternatives to it.

I wouldn't disagree with that, except that I think to say that someone doesn't achieve AB/DL without the community is still missing something. I will buy (at least for myself) that knowing there are others changes a person's outlook, but I don't see it as an intrinsic AB/DL-ness. The community comes from people who worked this out on their own. Once upon a time, there was no community at all and just people who dealt with this on their own. I didn't have any information on the community until I was 26 and I was then what I am now. What I picked up from others was beneficial, but it was recognition of what I was, not a redefining of it. I'm glad I found that there were others, but I'd still be a DL (albiet a less happy one) without ever knowing there was another one out there.

So not disputing your essential point, but I guess I don't like the wording, and I'm not sure that there aren't some out there who managed to feel really happy about themselves as AB/DL without ever knowing there was anyone else. You'd need a wider range of old people to respond. It's interesting, though.

 

[Eclipse]

Bah you stole my theory and renamed it T00L!!!

Its okay though you probably never saw my post about it. What I said several weeks ago was....(last post on this page....)

http://www.adisc.org/forum/mature-topics/7494-bdl-infantilist-desires-literal-emotional.html

So in summary I said that everyone is born with a basica bain structure that is the same. Meaning the back part of the brain is the feeling part, the front part is the thinking part, the center is sexual arrousal, and the right side is natural bdy functions, and so on (I do not know if thats how the brain is really set up I just used it as an example to show that every single person all has the same basic brain structure.) Even though we are all born with the same basic brain structure, we still have different circuits (made that word up for the definition I am using it for, which is the part of the brain which nuerons connect to, with nuerons being pathways that send the electrical message to another part of the brain perform an action or thought.) So for example my brain circuits might look lik this at birth

Brain 1
+ + + +
+ + +
+ + +

but someone elses when their born would be different just as everyone's is different which makes us with unique personalities.

Brain 2
+ + +
+ + + +
+ + +

(Pretend those a circuits on the brain when nuerons connect, I know thats not what they look like and I know we have millions more than that but you get the idea). So basically these two brain examples both have circuits when their born, but they are arranged very differently. The first row in brain 1 has 4 but the the first row in the brain 2 has only 3 with a blank spot, and so on. So now pretend that first row is the sexual arrousal part of the brain, and that the second row is bodily functions like heart beating, breathing, peeing, pooping and so on, now the person with brain 1 is a lot more susceptible(sp?) to become a ab and/or dl because they have circuit connections more prone/likely to create nueron connections to the bodily function peeing/pooping part of the brain to make them a abdl, because there are more circuits to connect to, therefore creating a more likely chance of having enviormental expeirance while growing up triggering a nueron connection to a part of the brain that is not 'normal' therefore making them an abdl. Hence that is your 'spark' that you call it, when the enviormental expeirance(s) happen and create a nueron connection (spark) from the sexual part of the brain to the bodily function part of the brain, which makes them sexually attracted to diapers, thefore making them a dl. Same goes for become an abdl, having one part of the brain circuits be connected to another part of the brain that does not happen in the 'normal' person.

So thats what I ment by the post I made several weeks ago. I hope it is all clear, and understanding, if you do not understand or have questions just say so and I will try to clarify.

So T00L you also believe what I believe, in summary, people are born predispositioned to become abdl, but none become abdl until they have experiance(s) to create the nueron connect (the spark) to create the abdl. In my case it was traumtic potty training by being forced out of diapers (as it is for other abdl's who have said the same thing happened to them), to others it is because they bedwet and had to wear diapers which created that nueron connection, and for some they got introduced to it by others (lke yawgmouths gf), and other triggers to create that nueron connection (spark). Technically there are infinite triggers to create the nueron connection, it is different for everyone.

So I give you props for coming up with the same theory as me, beside the fact you named it something else, and I never gave mine a name. Except I thought of it first so I will take some credit too, assuming you did not copy me haha.

Also Yawgmoth used the term "potential abdls" I also used that term when we were guessing how many abdl's there are in the world. In the thread avery ended up concuding based off abdl sites that there was an average of 1 in every 5,000 people (in america) were abdl's. Not inlcuding offline abdl's. Then I added in a post after that, yes that may be true but there are waaayyy more potentil abdl's out there, which are abdl's that do not know they are abdl's yet, or they do know they just do not know there are others like them.

EDIT: Found where I talked about the idea of potential abdl's like 9 months ago, had to do some serious digging in the archives for this haha. http://www.adisc.org/forum/teenbaby/475-what-odds-2.html

In my post in the link above I talked about how there is many more potential abdl's like several times many that there are actualy abdl's.

Also congrats yawgmoth on your baby girl, I envy you greatly!

Oh and I want to add sorry if I seemed like I a bit of an ahole taking some credit for this, but as I proved by previous posts (in the links in this post), I been talking about this for a long time, but nooooo no one wanted to listen to me haha. I am having one of those "NANANA! I told you so!" moments hahaha.

Also on another note I have created that spark to make abdl active in two females (online unfortauntly but I will visit one of them one day most likely since they both live on the east coast) which both still diaper themselfs to this day and enjoy acting and being treated babyishly to this day, and I keep in contact with both of them. Getting these girls into this is part of what helped me think up this theory too.