Someone...ANYONE!!!

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Miccheck

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Im just wondering like, how many of y'all are veteran ABDLs. Like, I've been into diapers and imagining things that were "way out of their appropriate context in reality" since way before puberty (lol). But I haven't even discussed it with another person, let alone wear one around them. I just think that i'm going to accept it one day but not today, and that scares me. Like, I don't wanna announce it to everybody, but hiding it is eating me alive. I just don't wanna mess up any of my relationships or come off as "mentally ill". So I ask you, how did you come to terms with your "little desires" and how/when did your family/friends find out...
 

BabelBilly

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I tell those i care about but the "mentally ill" thing, for me, was unavoidable because infantilism IS the mental illness!....for ME-i can't speak for other ab/dl's though.
I accept myself and pee my pants regularly and i'm not allowed to change my diapers

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DerpyFace

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Heya Mabel,
I know how you feel, personally I was into Diapers since around the age of seven. The security and comfort made me like them quite a lot and thus I always stole my sisters and got caught by my parents. I then tried hiding it more and they thought that I had grown out of a phase.
Personally, I wouldn't tell anyone about my little secret but, of course that varies from person to person, If it really is eating you up alive feel free, but make sure that before you do you should measure up the pros and cons to telling people.
Wish you luck.
- Derpface
 

AdorableRabbit

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Welcome Mabel, part of why we're here is to be sum folks you can talk to about this stuff! We're here to listen and you can be safely open with us!

There's a bunch of threads too that you can find about telling people, pros, cons, hows tos, whys, etc. Different folks have come to different conclusions on to whom and how much they want to share.

You should think about what you're looking for both in terms of people's reactions relationship to you, and what you want to be able to do around them. If you can share some of your thoughts and ideas on that, then folks might be able to offer some more specific advice based on their experiences as well!
 

Trevor

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It can be sort of a chicken or egg kind of deal. You need to accept yourself before you can present it well to someone else, but having someone to talk with who is supportive is really helpful in learning to accept yourself. I got myself to a place of self-acceptance where I realized it didn't make me a bad person to want it or to act on it and it probably wasn't going to go away.

I will tell you that's a long way from where I am now, where I see as largely as a positive influence in my life and something that brings me much happiness. I don't know that I could have gotten to where I am now without the influence of the people in communities like this. Making real friends, both online and in the real world made it more than some shameful secret that I had to hide.

If I were to really dig in old posts here or maybe on the site we had before (all archives unfortunately lost), I know that there are posts I made that were very skeptical that I'd ever want to share the ABDL experience with anyone else. It wasn't that I felt afraid of doing so but the idea didn't appeal to me. That's no longer the case. I'm now doubtful that I'd consider a relationship successful that didn't allow me to engage at least minimally in ABDL stuff for myself and with my partner.

I still like to keep it private from those who aren't involved with me or with it already but I'm much more open to that conversation if it needs to happen than I ever was before. The best advice I can give is to cultivate relationships within the community to develop a sense of "normalcy" around being an ABDL. Finding a good place for it in your own life should make you much better able to share it productively and in a way that makes sense.
 
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KimbaFoxNatsume

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Well, I guess you could say I've been a DL for about 20 years now... Things like commercials for Pull-Ups and certain episodes of cartoons took on a ''special'' (*cough cough* sexual) interest for me when I was about four years old. It never really bothered me too much when I was younger, I guess. I mean, when I was about 11 I knew the fact that I was doing stuff like peeing on toilet paper inside my underwear was weird, but I didn't worry about it too much. Then in my teens I learned about fetishes and finally understood what I was doing and that it was fairly normal in the grand scope of human sexuality. So... my DL side hasn't given me too much grief. My AB side, well that's a bit of a different story. It's not so much the accepting part that troubles me, more like I still need to learn how to properly integrate into adult life, which is hard when you feel like you're a child in an adult's body.
 

Miccheck

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Y'all are all so wonderful...
I was not expecting this much feedback from my 2nd post and think this forum thing is gonna be awesome:). I guess the core of my "dilemma" here is rooted in my desire to see ABDL more normalized in society. I saw a daily mail post on FB about a ABDL couple from YouTube and the comments on that post were... unpleasant, to say the least.

With that said, I'm very glad y'all gave me serious answers. I think we're gonna get along great!


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dogboy

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I think, if I remember correctly, there's a thread in the Articles section written by H3g3l, a past member, on when and why to tell. He and I were close when he was an active member, and we both used to contribute a lot on this subject, especially when we had members as young as 13.

One thing we both agreed on was that you ought to know why you feel you have to tell someone. There should be a reason for telling. I've had these desires since I was 4 years old, and I started acting on them by the age of 6. By the time I was 12 or 13, it was full tilt. I got caught by my mom when I was in college and she sent me to see a psychiatrist at a residential mental facility, so sometimes there are consequences.

The only two people who know are my wife and my best friend from college. He and I were lovers throughout college and we've stayed close all through our lives. I'm 69 years old now, so I see no reason for others to know my personal history, but I'm also of that generation. I might feel differently if I was 20, because the exchange of information via the internet has changed how society and people understand one another, at least to some degree. Still, what we do is well outside of the norms of society, so again I would suggest that there be a reason for telling. Does telling someone in RL function as a psychological catharsis? Is there a risk of not being accepted or will that person understand? These are questions that only you can answer for yourself.
 

Vapor

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The first step is to relize you like diapers, nothing will change that. Secondly no one will ever notice you have a diaper on, even when wearing thick ones as long as you were baggy clothing and a long undershit or onsie. I have worn everywhere, including in front of friends and family, school, work, and no one has noticed a thing. When it comes to talking about ABLD stuff to IRL people I would advise against it and leave it to only forums. There is no need to risk your personal life and friendships over a kink you have. Remember, your not doing drugs, your not doing anything illegal, your only bringing pleasure to yourself in one of the safest ways possible. This may sound harsh , but honestly fuck what others think, diapers make you happy that should be enough in itself.
 

Trevor

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Y'all are all so wonderful...
I was not expecting this much feedback from my 2nd post and think this forum thing is gonna be awesome:). I guess the core of my "dilemma" here is rooted in my desire to see ABDL more normalized in society. I saw a daily mail post on FB about a ABDL couple from YouTube and the comments on that post were... unpleasant, to say the least.

With that said, I'm very glad y'all gave me serious answers. I think we're gonna get along great!

Best not to hold your breath waiting for us to be accepted by the public at large. I think that despite YouTube comments or the like, we're at a better place than we've ever been but general acceptance just isn't in the cards for the foreseeable future.

What I think we can hope for is that more and more people are willing to consider this from someone they're partnered with. Get your head right and your story straight so you can pitch this as something fun you get to do with your future SOs, rather than some burden you must bear.
 

BabyLink9

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Im just wondering like, how many of y'all are veteran ABDLs. Like, I've been into diapers and imagining things that were "way out of their appropriate context in reality" since way before puberty (lol). But I haven't even discussed it with another person, let alone wear one around them. I just think that i'm going to accept it one day but not today, and that scares me. Like, I don't wanna announce it to everybody, but hiding it is eating me alive. I just don't wanna mess up any of my relationships or come off as "mentally ill". So I ask you, how did you come to terms with your "little desires" and how/when did your family/friends find out...

Never told anyone. Non of my friends know, non of my family, non of my exs. Its possible that family has caught on to what I have been up to but I have never told them straight up what I'm doing. I just accept that side of myself isn't really going to go away. Maybe one day I'll tell a significant other, but for now. That is my secret to keep, and my burden to bare. No one unless they already have the interest is gonna know about this.
 
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Im just wondering like, how many of y'all are veteran ABDLs. I don't wanna announce it to everybody, but hiding it is eating me alive..... I just don't wanna mess up any of my relationships or come off as "mentally ill".

There has been some sound advice already so I will try not to repeat what has already been said but wanted to add some further thoughts. It may not be that holding the secret inside is what is eating you alive, it may be that you are growing as a person and have not accepted this side of yourself yet. As the others point out, self acceptance is the key to keeping your mental health in good condition when you have a kink that falls outside of societies norms. It is perfectly natural to want to share ourselves with the world, self expression is the corner stone of our humanity. There are some aspects of ourselves that are hidden from the world, and for good reason. Letting it all out to those close to you may not give you the relief you seem to crave.

Ask yourself if you would want to know about any kinks your parents have? Then ask yourself if you want your loved ones thinking about your sexual desires because you told them all about it? My point here is you need to know your own boundaries, and the boundaries of those around you. For instance if you had a friend who was particularly kinky it may be okay to explain your own kinks to them, the boundaries are set by both of you knowing each other have kinky thoughts and tastes. On the contrary you may have conservative friends who have never expressed any interest in things that deviate from societies norms, so telling them would break your boundary

As you start to accept yourself and your own boundaries, you will start to feel comfortable about who you can and cannot talk to about such personal matters..

I guess the core of my "dilemma" here is rooted in my desire to see ABDL more normalized in society. I saw a daily mail post on FB about a ABDL couple from YouTube and the comments on that post were... unpleasant, to say the least.

I feel that anyone who knows their desires are not accepted in the mainstream long for their particular kink to suddenly be seen as acceptable by everyone. Sadly this will probably never be the case but it is a nice thought. The trouble is there are so many different types of people, coming from so many different places and having many expereinces that variety is the spice of life. Sex in general can be quite taboo in society, nobody openly talks about it for the most part. Add this to the mass media and sensationalism of taboo ideas it is no wonder ABDL and the wider BDSM or fetish communities still mostly have a bad reputation.

If it were me I would not worry or long for acceptance from all of society and concentrate on accepting myself. That way you can build to connecting to others who feel like yourself and share your desires. Oh! Forgot to say welcome! :smile1:
 

Reaper

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If you treat it like a big deal that's negatively affecting your life, so will they. If you treat it like an asset, so will they.


As for me, I've actively sought relationships within the community first. I want to hold out for someone who enjoys their kinks/quirks and mine vs. the partner that just accepts/tolerates them.

Much to my mistake, I would Google reactions to people discovering ABDL online or read YouTube comment sections. This is a horrible idea and made me keep my mouth shut about it for a long time, unnecessarily.

People in groups can be huge bullies when it comes to being an ABDL, but when rationale and understanding dialogues are to be had, nobody in their right mind will kick hate out in your direction.

There is a cracked article and in the comment section, absolutely no one threw stones, in fact, most were reflecting on their own infantile behaviors such as action figure collections or their love for the smell of baby powder or a round of the inevitable "all men still breastfeed" jokes.

In retrospect, this is honestly a behavioral pattern that all biological beings across the board partake in, and it is neither harmful to yourself or others.


I am reasonably open about my ABDL lifestyle. Anyone who shares a room with me or borrows my phone or rummages through my dresser drawer is bound to discover something and my logic is I'd rather introduce them to the truth before they assume I'm up to something illegal. My close friends and roommates all know. My vanilla partners all knew. The reaction has been universally positive. Oddly enough, the only other people that expressed undesirable concern were of an archaic mindset and had tradional toxic racist or sexist ideologies. So that is an interesting nugget of knowledge.

Just know that this is nothing to be ashamed of and I wager your partner will feel the same way. There is no magic script or angle of approach that will entice them to participate, however.
 

rennecfox

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sometimes it helps to find someone you really trust and tell them
 

Miccheck

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This is so awesome


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Miccheck

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If you treat it like a big deal that's negatively affecting your life, so will they. If you treat it like an asset, so will they.


As for me, I've actively sought relationships within the community first. I want to hold out for someone who enjoys their kinks/quirks and mine vs. the partner that just accepts/tolerates them.

Much to my mistake, I would Google reactions to people discovering ABDL online or read YouTube comment sections. This is a horrible idea and made me keep my mouth shut about it for a long time, unnecessarily.

People in groups can be huge bullies when it comes to being an ABDL, but when rationale and understanding dialogues are to be had, nobody in their right mind will kick hate out in your direction.

There is a cracked article and in the comment section, absolutely no one threw stones, in fact, most were reflecting on their own infantile behaviors such as action figure collections or their love for the smell of baby powder or a round of the inevitable "all men still breastfeed" jokes.

In retrospect, this is honestly a behavioral pattern that all biological beings across the board partake in, and it is neither harmful to yourself or others.


I am reasonably open about my ABDL lifestyle. Anyone who shares a room with me or borrows my phone or rummages through my dresser drawer is bound to discover something and my logic is I'd rather introduce them to the truth before they assume I'm up to something illegal. My close friends and roommates all know. My vanilla partners all knew. The reaction has been universally positive. Oddly enough, the only other people that expressed undesirable concern were of an archaic mindset and had tradional toxic racist or sexist ideologies. So that is an interesting nugget of knowledge.

Just know that this is nothing to be ashamed of and I wager your partner will feel the same way. There is no magic script or angle of approach that will entice them to participate, however.

I have to say, this was the most compelling post of all. Ilyall so much right now
 

Isle

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If you treat it like a big deal that's negatively affecting your life, so will they. If you treat it like an asset, so will they.

The only person outside of therapists I have told is my wife. She knew I dabbled in it, but when I realized it was something not likely to go away I told her I really did want to wear diapers. But the way I see it, and the way I framed it, was that it is an activity that puts me in touch with a life force, a vitality I don't otherwise have access to. Those early feelings were around a time when my world was simpler and unencumbered by the fog of parenting and society and as such I had more access to a world of joy and pleasure.

I still have to deal with shame on occasion, because it was a big a part of my upbringing. Self-acceptance is the way out of shame, and I think the desire to tell someone else is because we need acceptance.
Put another way, if we give ourselves self-acceptance, then we won't feel the need so much to look outside ourselves for it. It's not an easy path for those who have "not normal" desires and behaviors. A hero's journey really.
 

pampersguy

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Telling someone is scary and can be wonderful or a total disaster or anything in between.
I would never tell my family. There is just no need for this. Especially not for my pretty traditional father. He's pretty proud of me as a man and as the old man he is I don't want to change this way. I guess my mother would be understanding but there is a slight chance she'd blame herself. Then again I think she kinda knew I was doing something with diapers.

Telling your partner mustn't be a big deal if you are already talking about kinks and the such. If you have a vanilla partner and kinks and fetishes are not your usual dinner topics then it becomes difficult.
I told just very recently and it was an emotional ride. Unfortunately I did row back when the initial reaction was devastating. So right now my door to openly wearing and having fun with diapers is closed.
 

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I've been a DL my whole life (at least before I was 4 any ways). I'm also 40 now too. About 10-15 years ago I started getting into AB too. And I am a disabled Marine veteran. So yeah, I'm a veteran abdl in every sense of the term.

The absolute biggest thing you need at first, is to come to terms with being a DL. It is also the hardest part, and with the added realization this is much more than just some kink or fetish. You really just have to accept being a DL is an integral part of who you are- and it will not ever go away. There is nothing wrong, illegal, nor immoral about that either. Plus, it helps you to relax and destress, so this is a good thing, and is to be embraced.

Once you get there, it becomes much much easier to tell others close to you, about the full you. Determining who is close to you, is up to you only. A couple of good ways to tell though, are if they are always around you and will lilely find out anyways. Another way is if you are emotionally invested with that person and they have every right to know the full you- especially with a fiance, wife, or extremely close family member.

Now before you just go blurting it out you also need to fully understand it all to. Pretend you're researching it to make a presentation of your reveal, or to teach them all about DLs. Because this IS what you'll be doing after all. You'd be surprised how many skip this last part and think it will be ok, only to find their relationship in ruins because they couldn't present it right or answer basic questions.

Daunting right? But manage it all and you'll likely have a happy, and not mentally impaired, relationship.
 

foxkits

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Things change very slowly that being said.
The only one you should tell is the one you want to spend your life with.
Others may not be open minded my sister tries to hurt my relationship with friends and family.
By telling anyone she can it her jealousy of my relationship with Mom.
She hates me.
But on this site we care for what others​ like us through living with the need to wear pampers.
It's so much a part of who we are.
The more you try to not wear the worse the cravings​ .
The best you can do is find balance .
I'm a person that wears pampers I hurt no one so I try to be kind to myself it's how I'm.
If you can do that then it helps.
Welcome to ADISC.
 
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