Some teachers...

[BromeTeks]

Ok, here's the thing... When my youngest brother was in kindergarten, he had a very gullible teachers aide. My second youngest brother (who was in 4th grade at the time) is taking a spelling test. Suddenly the Kindergarten teachers aide comes to my second youngest brothers room and pulls him out of the spelling test to ask him something about my youngest brother. They go into the hallway. Then the Aide asks the question. "Does <<youngest brother's name here>> really have a hoverboard that shoots flames out the back of it?"
...
When you've just been fooled by a five year old, maybe it's a sign that you shouldn't be a teacher.

So the question that I pose to you is this. Have you ever had a teacher, teachers aide, principal, counseller, school nurse, whatever, show such ineptitude at their job that seriously wonder why they still are on payroll? (Of course I know why, they have unions! I'm just using it as a metaphor)

I have another story related to something like this, but I will use it later to invigorate this thread should it grow stale.

3...

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Discuss!​

 

[Fire2box]

I had loads of them. The worst one was the one who with all her 21 years of wisdom somehow got into a major car accident with students in the van she was driving. She was so worried about losing the lead car she decided to spend rather then listen to me saying "We will find the place, take it easy"

Right after we get on the highway she speeds, locks up the breaks fishtails blah blah blah and the van ends up rolling over. Thankfully every had working seat belts. <_>

The field trip was pretty much done for then.

 

[Ecto]

I don't think I've ever had any truly imbecilic teachers such as those. However, I did manage to end up tricking my teachers with what I thought were the most blatantly obvious jokes I could have come up with. For example, I routinely managed to get teachers to tell me the answers to classwork problems or quizzes by simply saying aloud in class "hey (insert teacher's name here), what's the answer to number X?" and a little bit over half the time they'd tell me what the answer was before catching themselves several seconds.

Another time I got my 7th grade English teacher to actually give us a spelling test that had all the questions phrased "how do you spell (insert word here)?" (keep in mind these were written prompts, not verbal). No, seriously, that happened.

Finally, there was this time in my 10th grade world history class when we somehow got off-track early in the period talking about Christian music. I decided to say "Christian music is the devil's music" as a joke which I thought everyone would realize it as such considering how downright absurd the statement was. Well, that didn't happen. Instead the entire class, including the teacher, took me seriously. Normal people would have awkwardly laughed and said "hey, hey, I was just kidding". But I was a kid who loved to argue. So instead of learning world history that day we spent the next 50 minutes arguing about whether or not Christian music was in fact the devil's music. The teacher was really into it too.

 

[EmeraldsAndLime]

I had a really idiotic physics teacher for a semester. Another teacher got into a serious accident and my physics teacher had to cover for her chemistry class, so we got this replacement guy who royally fucked up all our grades. Why they didn't just get a replacement chemistry teacher is beyond me. Anyway...

He was absolutely terrible at explaining things, often spending the entire lesson hammering in the one concept, trying to explain it from every angle, only to make himself even more confused. I recall one day he spent the entire lesson trying to prove to us that the optimal angle for a ball being launched so as to achieve the greatest distance was 45°. And another lesson explaining to us the concept of a frictionless plain when someone asked (half-jokingly) if it was possible to achieve a perfectly frictionless surface. Oh, one lesson I could never forget was that for the first half of the class we argued that carrying a 40cm ruler wasn't viable, since 30cm rulers were available and notebook pages don't even exceed 30cm, then spent the 2nd half of the lesson talking about his trip to Canada.

Keep in mind, all this occurred about 3/4 the way through the year when we should have been doing wave mechanics!

We found out later that he basically prepared his classes by making notes from the textbook the night before - the same textbook we, as students, all had. We asked him what qualifications he had, and he said he failed university a couple of times and that teaching was the 7th profession he'd worked in and was ultimately his last option.

Eventually, so many complaints poured in that the head of the physics department at my school stepped in and took over the class for the remainder of the year. However - and here's the funny part - this substitute teacher actually stayed in the class and quite literally sat at the back of the room taking notes and asking the teacher questions, essentially becoming a student. XD

 

[Valentine]

It's been too long to remember any jokes or gags pulled on my teachers, but my brother is a high school art teacher. Some how he ended up teaching a class that was part of the English Dept. for advanced students, it had some art element but I never really understood his description of what it is. Well his grasp of the finer points of English Grammar are limited, he has an Art Education degree, so he would write on the chalkboard or pass out handouts and his students would correct them for him.

 

[Charlie]

Oh God...

In high school we had a religious education teacher who was useless. Religious education is definitely the easiest thing to teach (maybe not teach well), hand out a few sheets and blab on about Christians and Muslims and whatever. The course we did was one that everybody is forced to do and it didn't count as much of a qualification.
Anyway this teacher was a boring woman, quite young who clearly didn't give a toss. She once admitted that the only reason she was 'doing this' was because she wanted to be a child psychologist, and you need school experience. Why R.E.? "Because it's the easiest."

One science teacher we had was really good, but he would always spend ages answering questions, especially if it really interested him. Once, one of my classmates asked him, right at the start of the lesson, to describe Hawking's view of time, or something similar... The point is we effectively got out of that lesson, he spent the hour going into silly detail about it.

Substitute teachers... I could write a book on them, but one memorable one was a guy who turned up for a history lesson, and told us to read a sheet that had been left for us and answer the 3 questions on the sheet. He clearly didn't read them.
Me and friend spent the lesson talking, and he came over to us, annoyed, and asked why we weren't doing the questions. We explained that question 1 related to [some other page that we didn't have], question 2 required us to contrast the sheet with something else we didn't have, and question 3 (I was actually laughing out loud whilst saying this, and it still tickles me today): wasn't even a question! It was just a statement, not instructions whatsoever. He just said "oh" and left us.

The most annoying teacher though was in college where things actually mattered. My philosophy teacher got really ill, and instead of getting a decent temporary replacement they stuck us with a general studies teacher who had once took a philosophy class in university...
She taught us using sources from THE INTERNET. Not exactly reliable. She once boasted that she had found the original text we were studying on the internet and said she could still read the original Latin.
It was such a same we were studying Descartes' Meditations, which he famously wrote in French. :wallbash:

 

[Takashi]

I remeber that my 3rd grade teacher was a really bitch and gave us alot of homework and when I say alot I mean it. Here's a tipical night of homework that I still remeber

30 math problems usually times tables
Put your 20 spelling words in ABC order
Read for 20 minutes and write a paragraph on what you have read anf once you finish your book write a report on it.

They many not seem like much to us now but back when I was 8 that was hell.

 

[Serendiapity]

When I was in second grade, my teacher was very incompetent. She spelled several of our spelling words incorrectly, such as spelling "rough" as "ruff". I think she also spelled "tongue" as "tung". Other than that, she acted completely stupid, as well as insensitive. When a girl who had incontinence problems (I don't know details, don't ask) got pee on the floor, this is how the conversation went:
"Ms. Putman?"
"Yeah, Sarah?"
"I had an... accident."
"An ACCIDENT? What kind of accident?"
"...A...bathroom... accident."
"Oh. Uh-oh! We'll get you changed in a minute. (Into new clothes is what I think she meant, but we can all see another possible double-meaning.) I need to call the janitor!"
When the janitor, CW, arrived, he jokingly asked the class clown, Sam, if he 'did that', to which Putman responded, "No, Mr. CW, we're trying to be sensitive about that!"

All the while, she said this in a happy-go-lucky, bouncy, sing-song voice.

 

[link]

my fourth grade teacher, Mrs. Lynn. She wasn't really a bad teacher, she was just evil. It was her last year teaching befor she would retire, and she was so old she needed a speaker and microphone so we could hear her.

one time, I couldn't understand how to do a math problem. She refused to help me saying "I wasn't paying attention so I don't deserve to learn"

She had a polocy that if you couldn't find something in your desk, she'd dump everything out on your lap and make you reorganise it. well, onetime i left something in my locker, so she dumped my desk anyway just to prove a point.

I got picked on a lot during recess, and she wouldn't let me stay in from recess. so i would get in trouble on purpose to stay inside.

Here is the worst thing she ever did to me. I was working at my desk and she called me to her with the "your in trouble voice". She told me that i was failing her class and would have to retake the entire year if i didn't do better (what makes this evil is that I was no where near failing). Me being as young as i was, i just gave up and cried. I stopped paying attention in class and i even refused to take the next test. My dad had to come in and yell at her so that she would admit her mistake and tell me i was never failing.

 

[Gingy]

Hmmm....

My friends older brother hacked into the school district's files and put himself on the payroll..... I don't see how he didn't expect to get caught! But that has nothing to do with the teachers.

Last winter, the same friend (Y.B. Of the payroll guy) stole the midterm from a completly accesable folder the teacher put it in... That's the stupid teachers fault for not encrypting it, or saving it to a thumb drive..... He would have gotten away with it if it weren't for those metaling freshman kids..... (they told!)

 

[starshine]

I like most my teachers, 'cept one creeper.

He used the little boys bathroom, not the staff bathroom.
He used to stand on his desk, read Chicken Soup for the Soul, while crying...
He always let us know how he fell in love with his wife when she was 12, and he was like 19 or 20.
One girl had a picture one day of some italian star who was 13 or 14, and he went on about how absolutely sexy and beautiful she was.

There are more, but I don't feel like typing. He was just creepy.

 

[Serendiapity]

I like most my teachers, 'cept one creeper.

He used the little boys bathroom, not the staff bathroom.
He used to stand on his desk, read Chicken Soup for the Soul, while crying...
He always let us know how he fell in love with his wife when she was 12, and he was like 19 or 20.
One girl had a picture one day of some italian star who was 13 or 14, and he went on about how absolutely sexy and beautiful she was.

There are more, but I don't feel like typing. He was just creepy.

Ewwww...

 

[Fire2box]

Last winter, the same friend (Y.B. Of the payroll guy) stole the midterm from a completly accesable folder the teacher put it in... That's the stupid teachers fault for not encrypting it, or saving it to a thumb drive..... He would have gotten away with it if it weren't for those metaling freshman kids..... (they told!)

Well its not like studying is hard at all.

 

[Lizzie]

I had one bitch of a teacher in first grade. I wet my pants one time in the morning and she made me stay in the same clothes when school was out. Even though I had a change in the office!!

My art teacher last year was also rather bitchy. No matter how good it was, it was wrong. If you didn't do it exactly like her, you failed. Last day of first semester this year, it was anounced on the loud speaker that she was getting married. I didn't think it was possible for her to love anyone but her cats.

 

[Takashi]

My art teacher last year was also rather bitchy. No matter how good it was, it was wrong. If you didn't do it exactly like her, you failed. Last day of first semester this year, it was anounced on the loud speaker that she was getting married. I didn't think it was possible for her to love anyone but her cats.

Same here sis. My art teacher just last semester was a real bitch.

 

[IncompleteDude]

I never had bad teachers. My math teacher was previously a professor of theoretical physics at Oxford University and sat on the board that awarded PhDs. My physics teacher had a PhD in chemistry I think. My computer science teacher was working on his PhD. My philosophy teacher had a PhD in Education I believe. My French teacher was awarded this thing for the best teacher in Ontario a year after I graduated. My English teachers weren't anything special, but definitely competent. Incidentally, they were all the head of their relevant department.

Of course, I was in the International Baccalaureate Diploma program, so we always got the best. Now I have a fancy looking piece of paper, hehe.

Oh my first computer science teacher was excellent, but I'm pretty sure he was a cocaine addict.

 

[briefboy]

I've only had one that I can think of. He was my technologies teacher all through highschool (which makes this even more depressing) and for some odd reason he thought that all 4 brakes would only work if your car was in 4-wheel drive.:chin::no:

 

[dogboy]

I work as a teacher assistant to technology, and so I work and talk with the other assistants, some who have been as dumb as a sack of nails. If it's going to snow up in the mountains of Virginia, they are totally convinced it's going to snow In Lynchburg. This is forever ongoing during the winter, day after day.

My son had eye/hand coordination problems when in kindergarten and was left handed. When we went to his classroom during a parents night before Christmas, we saw all of the other student's cutouts of pointsettias on the wall, except his. His teacher said his wasn't good enough to put up. I was furious. Later into the year my son went into the bathroom, and another boy peed on him. He came home wet, and upon questioning him, he said that this same idiot teacher did nothing to punish the other boy. My wife who is a teacher, and I, made an appointment to talk to the teacher. We were getting no where with the conversation, and eventually my wife excused herself to go to the bathroom. I then used the opportunity to inform the teacher that if the little boy ever did it again, I would rip his arm off and beat him with the stump. She turned quite pale.

 

[BromeTeks]

Time for reinvigoration!

Okay, so I have this history teacher. He is kind of bad at teaching, and shows nepotism towards the volley ball athletes. And, he picks up random factiods from nowhere and tries to teach them to the class.

For example, he was perpetuating the rumor that the large hadron collider would bring about doomsday. So, I went ahead and and started ranting about how he knew nothing about science or physics and how he should be ashamed for spreading doomsday theories about a perfectly safe device.


He also once tried to teach us how girls have no colons. I have absolutely no clue how he came to that conclusion.

I have decided to stop listening in that class and just read and take notes from the textbook.

 

[MysteriousVisitor]

My third grade teacher was epic bad. She used to misspell words on our Spelling Tests! A TEACHER! Ugh, it pains me to think back that far.


And there was that teacher who stabbed me in the eye with a pencil...