Some reflections and thoughts...

[WildThing121675]

This is just some reflections I have been thinking about and I finally felt that I had to share this.

As I get older, and more wiser, I think a lot about the whole community as a former baby and as someone who has taken to the daddy role, and I think a lot about how far I have come as a person since I gave up a lot of anger and hostility that used to run my life and I was not about to let AB run my life the way it has run some others lives.

I am not sure where I am in this as I move towards the four-year anniversary of when a lot of things changed in my life, I think about what has happened to me in the diaper community and where I have gone, and where I will go.

I wonder what will happen and I wonder how things will go and what I will find. I am not going to give up the lifestyle, just don't really wanna be a solo baby wondering if I'd ever find a mommy.

I gave up being a baby because the need for my diapers has faded. I used to have to wear diapers because of bladder issues, and I was able to retrain myself. I guess that had something to do with it. Bout the only babyish thing I do is still sleep with my blankie, and a whale I can't sleep without since my cancer scare in '99.

I also gave it up because of mommies coming and going in my life, and disappearing and not being honest with me. I could not take all that pain. You feel like you finally found something and it gets ripped from you and after it had happened you think have finally found the answer.

I think also about how much has changed for me since I got hurt bad in '04 by a baby girl here in Ohio, and how far I've come and what I have done. I think that my life, my AB lifestyle, and such have a purpose. I don't know what that is, but as time goes... I find more peace with who I am and what I have in my life.

It's like I've tried to tell some die-hard ABs I have run into through other sites, that there is more to life than just being a baby and sitting around in a diaper all the time. I admit I get a bit cynical with them, and critical but that's cause I find that there's more to who I am than my diapers, or whatnot.

I've been thinking about this for the past few months and I have been thinking about how things have changed so much and so fast and furious for me in the past four-five years since I got hurt bad by the AB girl I was daddy to. I think about what I have. I know there is a reason why I am a part of the lifestyle known as adult baby. I just don't know what it is yet.

For now, I'm just gonna be happy with who I am, and pass on what wisdom I can. Who knows what I will find out there in this community and I know that I am to the point in my when and if it comes, I am ready for it.

WildThing121675

 

[redtails]

I'll help you bump this thread.

As for your thoughts and philosophy, I read your entire post, which is something not a lot of people here would do if they're not in the middle of a holiday. I'm slightly confused by what you've typed out. You're writing that you now understand there's more to life than sitting around in a nappy, while you have not talked about any real relationships you've had? I'd like to learn a bit more about this, if you have the time for a soul like myself.

It's an awful fear of mine to have a life where a stupid fetish runs my entire life. There's a lot I have yet to learn and there's a lot I wish to do before passing away, and finding "a mommy or a daddy" certainly isn't a high priority of mine. Relationships are a natural thing and they help a man adapt to a more balanced way of living where they find happiness within borders instead of attempting to gain endless fun.

 

[Mingus]

There is more to life than just being a baby and sitting around in a diaper all the time.
WildThing121675

Amen to that. I think this is a broader trend which the binge/purge cycle is only a part of. Having a good life is about so much more than your sexual fetish, or your particular emotional attachment to regressing. There is no reason both can't be a part of your life. I feel happy to have reached a happy place with my fetish as young as I have--I'm comfortable with liking to wearing diapers and use them, and (which is incredibly fortunate) my girlfriend of over two years is comfortable with me, too. I hope all the younger people on this site can come to a same happy balance. I'm only sad that you had to go through so many hard times to reach your sense of self-knowledge. Life is, however, all about personal growth, isn't it?

 

[WildThing121675]

Well, I reached my conclusion after a lot of realization and realizing that I had other things I enjoyed than just AB or AB things. I still have an attraction to the lifestyle, and I just as of right now don't know what I am looking for to be honest. I just know that I feel that there has to be something out there for me and I just don't know what it is.

I don't want to go into a lot of details on my AB relationships because I am afraid they could be reading this board. I just felt that I wanted to respect their privacy.

As for my feelings these days, I have felt I would rather not spend money on things I don't need anymore like diapers. I do like them, but I don't see the logic in spending money on them right now. I had fun being a daddy, and I have never experienced being a baby before with someone else. I have never had the opportunity to have my diaper changed by someone. That was another reason I found being a daddy to be fun.

I just have decided that I would rather focus on other things, and think about my life and what I want to do with it. I don't know what that is yet. All I know is that I just feel like well, I have no idea.

I am actually surprised I got some responses. I had almost forgotten about this post.

WildThing121675

 

[g6s]

As for my feelings these days, I have felt I would rather not spend money on things I don't need anymore like diapers. I do like them, but I don't see the logic in spending money on them right now.
WildThing121675

Allow my cynicism to come forth here. If you buy diapers because you enjoy them, that's logical. Also, its good you've realized there's more to life then just your fantasies, but don't stomp them out. Its hard to sand wood against the grain and it leaves it messier than it started.

Its good to see you're actively trying to better your life. Just don't spend a lot of time worrying about the process of making it better. Do what feels right and makes you happy.