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So it is generally understood that diaper exhibitionism is bad...

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NEJay

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But like all things in life, it is not "black and white"

Confession time... I like the idea of "being caught". I also am a conscientious person and realize that nobody in the general public cares to, or wants to, know about or see that I'm wearing a diaper. I don't think I'm the only one that feels this way, but I think the mob mentality (especially on this forum) states that this is wrong, and people suppress their feelings online because of it.

I'd like to have a frank convo about it, and about how people do such a thing without having any detriment to others.

Let me start by saying that other than at a gay club at fetish night (and of course closed-door ABDL events), the general public has never seen me in only a diaper, and never will. I personally enjoy the "possibility" of getting caught, and not the actual exhibition of what I choose to wear for underwear. I would never be like the guys that you see on Youtube, running into grocery stores half naked in only a diaper, or like the dude from AZ that died recently that lived his life as an AB, publicly.

That said, I have encompassed diaper wearing into situations where if someone with a trained eye was paying attention, it would be obvious...

I've gone to the beach (usually Plum Is. State Park here in MA, a desolate, and usually empty beach) with friends for playing volleyball or ultimate frisbee, or just to chill and get a tan, and I'll usually wear. I've always got shorts on, but who doesn't want an upper body tan :) , so the shirt goes, and I've usually got some sort of waistband sticking up. It's definitely a rush, and definitely fueled by adrenaline (those of you that have bought diapers in person know what I mean), and it doesn't seem to hurt anyone else, so I have no problem doing it.

Nobody ever realizes, and I don't want them to either... It's the idea of being "caught", not the actual act.

My question is... Are there others here that feel this way, but confine your feelings because of the ABDL social status quo, and if not, how do you enjoy doing so without any burden on the general populace?

Also... I'm very happy with myself and the diaper thing, but this is an aspect of it that I've always been conflicted about. Should I relax, and just go with the flow, or should I hole-up and leave the diapers at home? Am I a creeper because I like the idea of being caught?
 
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soren456

Guest
Just a thought to get it started:

Exhibitionism and "getting caught" are different things. And I suspect that either term has many definitions.

Exhibitionism means, to me, something akin to flashing: Forcing oneself purposefully into the public eye, with the intention of being noticed for a specific thing. It is an aggressive act. It is, in my mind, a rude act.

"Getting caught" means . . . I don't know. It's not a thing in my fantasies.

Maybe you could expand on what it means to you? What's the result of getting caught?

I know this isn't an answer to your question.
 

NEJay

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I guess there isn't a "result"... In my case, it's the act of portraying the possibility of getting caught. The result is (at least for me) slightly pushing a boundary for a bit of an adrenaline rush. Morality and common sense always interject, but the slight possibility of someone saying "OMG. he's wearing a diaper" is good enough for me.

For an analogy... It's kind of like getting an adrenaline rush from putting a coffee can of gasoline 50 feet away from a campfire. Sure, there is a chance that an ember could light it up and create a big bang, but chances are it isn't going to happen... But it's enough to get the adrenaline pumping in a firebug.

Perhaps I should take up skydiving or something... I'm quite the adrenaline junkie, diapers or not. :)
 

mirrored

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Yeah, it definitely sounds like there are easier ways to get that rush, and some that may be a little less rude. :)

Just as long as you aren't like, trenching with a diaper and forcing people to see, I think you're alright. Creepy is when you force other people to get involved.
 
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Confession time...
Guilty as charged myself. :detective3

Irrespective of it being a private, mostly sexually-driven fetish for me, I've never had much of a problem wearing them out in public, and I have done it on quite a large number of occasions. Although my goal isn't to attract attention or get caught, I simply delight in the act of pursuing something that is, for the most part, uniquely mine for the better part of the population I live in, not to mention having a chuckle about what other think of it. Having that mystery surrounding myself about why I'm wearing one is a smaller, but equally intrinsic part of the whole ordeal. That's how I enjoy 'public displays' without actually saddling other people around me. Although I won't deny that someone seeing me in one is pleasurably humiliating, I just won't go out of my way to make a point of it, despite knowing full well that my shirt isn't covering the top of it, my pants have come down a bit, or the bulge is quite noticeable.

However, I do uphold respect and discretion when it actually comes to using them around other people -in all instances- and I think this is where the line should be drawn for any flaunting of this fetish in public. Incontinence aside, messing 'accidents' should generally be left to a private ventures in your own house. Wetting them is much less of a problem these days with diapers that are more absorbent and have odour-neutralising chemicals in them. The basic point is though, if it's going to smell, don't do it. Even if you aren't physically invading someone else's space, you can cause peripheral discomfort and disgust.

In response to other diaper-fetishists opinions about this, especially within this community, I'm all for leaving it up to the individual to determine when taking it public is acceptable and when it becomes a nuisance. From a personal standpoint though, as I think most of you have picked up on, I think public displays can be noncontroversial provided they are practiced within a certain amount of common sense. General rules of thumb include not making a direct point about it, not fully exposing it, maintain some discretion and uphold respect for others, including being mindful of your smells. In the past I've spoken out against certain forms of public display and I still virulently defend those views, but I also understand that this practice is highly subjective. What I find acceptable and pleasing, another may instil outrage about it, and vice-versa.
 

NEJay

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Yeah, it definitely sounds like there are easier ways to get that rush, and some that may be a little less rude. :)

Just as long as you aren't like, trenching with a diaper and forcing people to see, I think you're alright. Creepy is when you force other people to get involved.
But the thing is... I don't see anything wrong with wearing a diaper under my swim trunks at a beach, or being obvious about tape sounds in an enclosed bathroom stall.

I could see if I was one of those freaks that shows off his diaper to others on purpose, but that would scare the crap out of me... Far less anyone else. That isn't what I'm getting on about...
 
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soren456

Guest
First, there's nothing creepy about it, IMO.

My experience is this: Explaining it is like trying to put your finger on a spot of mercury. You can't quite do it.

I wear a diaper beneath my pants in public frequently. I do this discreetly; I take care not to have an obvious bulge or to have a strip showing above my waistband, etc., etc.

Why I enjoy this, I can't put words to. Just can't. I think that it's simply because I like to wear a diaper, and so I wear one.

I do know this, I don't want to be caught. I'm not doing it for the "danger." In fact, my wearing has nothing to do with anyone else. It's about just me.

Except: If I have a fantasy about someone noticing, it is that another guy who is into diapers is the one who notices. And responds to me. That's all.

Again, I know this doesn't answer your question.

But maybe it's a kind of ineffable thing anyway . . . .
 
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Nicky

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I don't think you should feel 'guilty'. If you get caught, how do they know that its a 'fetish'? They don't. For all they know, you could be incontinent.

I don't try to go out of my way to 'expose' myself, but wearing out in public is daring enough for me. I almost always make it a point though to wear if i'm going to the store to buy diapers. Other than that, I don't wear to much in public. Although, I did wear to the dentist last week, that was kinda fun.:)

With that said, I really enjoy the idea of being caught....just not by someone I know.
 
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secretdl26

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I don't think you can call it exhibitionism if you feel as though it is necessary to be discreet as well as feeling though "being caught" would be good.

Exhibitionism, by definition, is the need for exposure. With what you have described, you do not have a need for exposure, just a desire for a potentially exciting exposure.

As long as you are not forceful about "being caught" there is nothing to feel guilty about. I think almost every *B/DL has feelings about "being caught" and there is nothing abnormal or freakish about it.
 

NEJay

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Lukie pretty much hit it right on the head as far as how I feel, though I'm probably a scosche less daring than he (unless I'm with friends, and a little liquid truth is involved :) ). I've definitely tested the waters before, but aside for very few instances, I've been extremely self conscious about "going too far", even if that means a centimeter of waistband showing.

But then again... The self consciousness feeds into the adrenaline rush.

Thanks Soren and Nicky for the "not a weirdo" comments... This is one of the few things I've been battling with since I was young enough to acknowledge the diaper fetish, and it's cool to hear that this is a somewhat normal phenomenon... At least as people in our mindset go. Especially as I'm connected between the ABDL lifestyle and real life quite thoroughly, I've been afraid to talk about this subject, and this is the first time I've let it roll.
 

Nicky

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Lukie pretty much hit it right on the head as far as how I feel, though I'm probably a scosche less daring than he (unless I'm with friends, and a little liquid truth is involved :) ). I've definitely tested the waters before, but aside for very few instances, I've been extremely self conscious about "going too far", even if that means a centimeter of waistband showing.

But then again... The self consciousness feeds into the adrenaline rush.

Thanks Soren and Nicky for the "not a weirdo" comments... This is one of the few things I've been battling with since I was young enough to acknowledge the diaper fetish, and it's cool to hear that this is a somewhat normal phenomenon... At least as people in our mindset go. Especially as I'm connected between the ABDL lifestyle and real life quite thoroughly, I've been afraid to talk about this subject, and this is the first time I've let it roll.
It's funny, I can pin-point the exact moment when i was 5 years old when I realized I wanted to be a baby and/or in diapers. I didn't think much of it until I was 14 when I got the internet and was exposed to all this other stuff online. Finding out I wasn't alone was truly shocking, but I also to find the good (and mostly bad) websites out there, I wasn't really to comfortable with myself. I thought I was a complete wierdo and it was something I struggled with for awhile.
I'm 21 now, and I truly enjoy being ab/dl. As far as I'm concerned, there is no such thing as normal (how much fun would that be?). I wish I had someone to share this with and accept me for who I am, but for right now I am quite content with the ab/dl situation.
 

dogboy

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I've worn in public before, but I've been discreet. Quite frankly, there are a lot of people who wear in public because they are incontinent, so if someone spots you, they will most likely think you need to wear them. What goes on in your mind is your own business..teehee. If a little of the top shows, who cares. We're all sophisticated enough in this world to not be bothered. This is far different from that guy who was exposing his diaper to children. He should have locked up.
 

NEJay

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Yeah, pretty much... (Nicky)

I was cool with diapers from an early age, and even was a bit of an exhibitionist when I was younger (I remember placing diapers in conspicuous places in my room as a kid to garner a reaction from friends that I had little connection to... Read: low risk in the mind of a 10 year old), and even convinced my best friend I had to wear in 7th grade.

Some time between then and high school my conscience kicked in though, and I realized that I was taking too many risks, and devolved diapers from anything to do with my normal social situation (thankfully), and was left to socializing on DPF and a few other sites. Met my first AB friend at 16, and entered the ABDL world from there, but I still had the "exhibitionist" thing in the back of my mind.

Maybe it's a humiliation aspect I don't realize, but my super-independence overshadows it... Dunno... All I know is that what I've described prior in this thread has been in my mind since a very early age, and I'm not sure what to make of it.

I've worn in public before, but I've been discreet. Quite frankly, there are a lot of people who wear in public because they are incontinent, so if someone spots you, they will most likely think you need to wear them. What goes on in your mind is your own business..teehee. If a little of the top shows, who cares. We're all sophisticated enough in this world to not be bothered. This is far different from that guy who was exposing his diaper to children. He should have locked up.
To be clear, I've got no problem wearing in public. I wear all the time to work, with friends, family stuff, etc... That is all different than what I'm talking about. And regardless of all that, it has nothing to do with kids... Rather the adrenaline rush of possibly being caught, even if it isn't obvious.

Sorry, guess my odd instance is hard to convey.
 

bobbyjeff

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I have to admit that I do get the "rush" every now and again when wearing in a slightly daring way. Not nearly as much now as when I was young and didn't realize that these things were actually somewhat normal (why would they be sold at Walmart if there wasn't some volume to the business). I still love to wear while buying in person. I would never want to be called out on it, but the risk of it happening gives me a small surge of fear driven adrenaline.

I am a lifelong adrenaline junky, and I love scaring the absolute crap out of myself. This is why I enjoy several high risk hobbies. Ripping down a straightaway at 130+ mph trying to pass a guy, but knowing that you have to get it shut down to less than 25 to take the hairpin at the end is nearly orgasmic, especially if you almost fuck it up but manage to save it at the last second.

This can get out of control though if you don't keep a good mental awareness of your actions and situations. The thrill isn't as good if you don't have a legitimate fear of blowing the turn and wadding the car up into the tire wall, but as you gain skill and experience you find that you can push farther and farther without "getting caught". This can be a slippery slope, because it can get out of control and lead to taking unnecessary risks in the hunt for the thrill.

The same can happen in the hunt for the thrill of wearing in public, and if not controlled it can venture into voyeuristic territory.
 

Peachy

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"Exhibitionism" is the act of removing more clothing than necessary and socially acceptable, mostly for the thrill of the person who takes off the clothing.

Obviously, what is necessary and socially acceptable depends on the situation. In a locker room, expect to see naked people. So unless you dance around the room and shove your bits into everyone's face, no one should complain if you walk stark naked from the showers to your locker.
In a church, on the other hand, you shouldn't walk around topless or with arousing clothing to show your respect to the other worshippers around.
If you're going to a dance club or bar, you'll probably be more revealing (to attract other people) than you would be for a job interview.

So, ultimately, if you're within accepted limits, it depends on what kind of image you want to portray to other people. If there's a chance that you'll meet people you know, you may want to make sure that the plastic on your diaper does not stick out. If you don't care about the people around you, I see no problem with the plastic of your diaper sticking out of your pants. It goes with the current fad of showing your underwear to the public by sagging pants or buying low waist pants. Ultimately, diapers are just underwear.
Besides, I doubt most people would notice the stuff sticking out as a diaper anyway, or make the connection that you're basically walking around in your own piss. So the chances of being caught are low to begin with, but I guess that's what makes for the rush the diaper wearer feels: There's not much of a risk (you can always say you're incontinent), but there's a chance that someone may approach you about the diaper and maybe say "Your diaper is sticking out your pants!". In that case, they must be a diaper wearer too, maybe! :D

Peachy
 

BabyMullet

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As Peachy mentioned, this is a case by case thing. But I like the way you are approuching it. As long as the sole desire you have with wearing in public is not just "getting caught" or showing off, than I see nothing wrong with it. Wearing in public carries with it some risks, if you choose to embellish these risks, go right ahead.
 

Skeeter

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I agree with what the others have said. I also would add that it is healthy to question yourself and your motives.

When you stop questioning whether you're going too far, you've probably already crossed the line.
 

Darkfinn

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Wearing 24/7 I gave up trying to hide my diapers a while ago. I don't go out of my way to show off to anyone, I wear my normal street/work clothes... but if I bend over or my shirt rides up it is pretty obvious that I have a diaper on... these Bambinos don't really excel at being discreet. I don't generally have a reason to go shirtless... but I have worn a swim diaper to the pool on several occasions... no real way to hide that.

Noone has ever mentioned a thing about it to me... I figure if they do notice anything they are polite enough not to mention it. I'm not really looking for a thrill or anything... diapers are just a way of life for me.
 
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