should i be mad.

[gamebaby]

so i pick somthing out for my dad on fathers day, i give it to him and he said he likes it. BUT he than(while im upstairs) gose to town and he returns it for somthing else. i had no idea and when i found out he didnt tell me.
i got so mad its like grrrrrrr times 100 with a mauling. but should i be mad?

 

[Charlie]

Well it was rather insensitive of him to exchange a gift, even if he pretended to like it and return it secretly. So I'd say that you do have a reason to be mad at him.

I'd suggest talking to him (but not when you're feeling mad, calm down a bit first). Make sure he knows that you aren't happy that he returned it. I wouldn't hold a grudge though, it is father's day and if what he exchange it for will make him happy then that's what is important.

Just make he sure that he learns that exchanging gifts is bad form, and that he needs to get better at dropping hints!

 

[Pojo]

Well you have to be in his shoes...Sure it was mean, but if it was your kid giving something you either didn't like, or already had, you wouldn't tell them...You should let him know though

 

[Mysterious]

Wow, that's totally not cool... I would be mad too. It's ok to be mad but to let out your anger is something else. Just calm yourself for now. I would suggest asking him what's up with this. But, as an important note, do it NICELY. Well, I'm basically saying what Charlie said but still, remember keep your head. Or else it can just turn into a fight. And on Father's day it would be BAD.

 

[starshine]

Thats really rude. I don't care if he already had it, or if he didn't like it, it's still rude.

I got my grampa a screwdriver set for his birthday, fathers day, AND christmas every year from the time I was about 6 to 14. He never returned anything, not one set. I can't imagine how many screwdriver sets he has now, but he was always nice, said he loved it and kept it, and made a point to open it and let me see him using it at least one point in time.

 

[Vladimir]

Well you have to be in his shoes...Sure it was mean, but if it was your kid giving something you either didn't like, or already had, you wouldn't tell them...

It's not a reason to return it and get something else, that's disrespectful.



Though how did he return it, did he have the receipt?

 

[daria7483]

I don't agree that you should be mad. It sounds like your dad was trying to spare your feelings, and sometimes that's a good thing. My mom once decided to tell me Christmas morning that she hated the Christmas gift I'd gotten her, and if I'd just listened to her and actually gotten her what she said she wanted, blah blah blah blah blah blah, and I ended up in tears. It basically ruined that Christmas. So, at least your dad didn't do that.

But, regardless, you are mad, so I think you should tell your dad something like "I heard that you exchanged my gift, and I'm upset that you didn't think I'd find out." At the least, you can try to get him to tell you why he disliked the gift, so you are more informed next time you go to get him something.

Sometimes I think lying about presents is necessary. I'm not going to tell my aunt that I hate the sweater she spent hours and hours knitting me, she'd be devastated. Better, I think, to just pretend like I like it and wear it around her. And I don't think exchanging a gift is a bad thing either - don't you ultimately want your dad to be happy with what he got? But your dad was dumb to think you wouldn't notice when his gift was never around, and it's unfortunate he felt that he had to lie to you.

 

[avery]

I got my grampa a screwdriver set for his birthday, fathers day, AND christmas every year from the time I was about 6 to 14. He never returned anything, not one set. I can't imagine how many screwdriver sets he has now, but he was always nice, said he loved it and kept it, and made a point to open it and let me see him using it at least one point in time.

that's 24 screwdriver sets!! his house must be full of them. why on earth would you do a thing like that to your poor grandfather? XD

 

[Trevor]

so i pick somthing out for my dad on fathers day, i give it to him and he said he likes it. BUT he than(while im upstairs) gose to town and he returns it for somthing else. i had no idea and when i found out he didnt tell me.
i got so mad its like grrrrrrr times 100 with a mauling. but should i be mad?

The whole point is for the recipient to be happy with what you've given. That works on two levels, both the item itself, and the person and thought behind it. I've given my dad two gifts over the years that weren't quite right for him (they were both too nice for him, and he needed something he wouldn't worry about destroying) and he told me how much he appreciated the thought and why he needed a slightly different style to make it be something that he'd really use. We went back to the stores and I was able to see him be happy with what he got, which was the whole point in the first place. He wouldn't have either of those items without my near-miss gift, so I'm glad he's happy with them.

Your dad should have been straight with you or sucked it up and followed through with his pretending to like it; can't have it both ways.

 

[EmeraldsAndLime]

This is why I tell people when I give them a gift, "If you don't like it, you can always exchange it. I don't mind."

After all, it's hard to pick out something for someone when you aren't too sure of what they like.

 

[the0silent0alchemist]

well my aunte accidently get me book 3 of the bartimaeus trilogy twice.. i already had a copy so... and she gave me eldest although i already had it.. bad luck i suppose accidently let slip first time that i already had eldest..

and on christmas twice in a row weve been gven these horrile gnger choholates by my other auntie for chrstmas. i keep sayin.. hint we diont lke em.. they think its akin to a mortal sn to mention i didnt like somethin. if i do.. itl just men they dont get those again.. they know the truth... we get gifs we like.. i think its worse hiding it.. that you didnt like it and were simply acting.. like for me u didnt lke it fine... i wont get it again but faking is worse i think

 

[dogboy]

For most of us dads, it's the thought and care that counts. My son was home this Father's Day, and it meant all the world to me. He's always been my best friend. We've always gone for walks around the block, and he's always told me all the things that bother him, with this time being no exception.

All the said advise is good. Like Charlie F said, wait until you are calm to talk with your dad. Just say, I'm sorry I didn't get something you wanted, and see where the conversation goes. But really, it's not about the gift. It's about the love.

 

[stanfordhawks]

wow

wow thats so jacked up. i would be so mad if he did that

 

[Serendiapity]

Ouch. That would make me sad, not mad, but you have a reason to be mad. My father's day wasn't great either, we went to get a new TV, and they wouldn't take my father's check because it was over $1,000 and he got pissed off because he had to charge it on his credit card, he went berserk! Here's the conversation:

Clerk: This your TV?
Dad: Yes Sir. *hands clerk a check*
Clerk: Sorry sir, you cannot pay for a HDTV this expensive with a check.
Dad: But the clerk in the TV department said I could!
Clerk: Sorry sir.
Dad: ****... Leave the TV.
The Russian: But Dad, we all came up here for this on your day! Look at Mom. (She looked sad.)
Dad: Fine. HERE'S MY GODDAMN AMERICAN EXPRESS CARD!
Wife: (Dad), it's just a policy!
Dad: *fumes*

In the end, it was OK since he got over it and we got the TV, but I was embarrassed and felt sorry for the clerk. My father is generally nice, and he is usually close to me, but he was acting in a manner not like himself.