Should I ask my unapproving wife to be padded as a birthday gift?

PaddedInPuyallup

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So my birthday is 11 days away and there’s no doubt my wife is going to soon ask me what I want for my birthday. I am so tempted to ask her if I can be padded for the day and/or night as my birthday gift. Or maybe even ask her to be padded in bed for me. Any of this would be the best birthday gift ever and it wouldnt even cost her a dime. However, the bad part is that she doesn’t approve of my diapers and when I told her about them 4 years ago, the deal was she will never have to deal with them, see them or hear about them. I’m torn because this would be breaking the rule, but shouldn’t my birthday be special enough of a day to get something I really really want? Ugh!
 

chamberpot

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I would say let sleeping dogs lie.. you could be asking for trouble, for sure asking her to pad up could be disastrous for you. I am pretty much in the same boat as you , my wife knows I am padded every night but refuses to talk to me about it, she does like the fact that the bed doesn't get wet as often. Oh ya Happy birthday coming🎂🎂
 

DanielW

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I wouldn't under any circumstances ask your wife to wear herself. Especially since she's made it clear about her feelings on the matter. Having said that, I see no reason why you can't wear yourself, no matter what day it is. You can wear around her without breaking a rule that she not know. I wear 24/7 and barring an act of god so to speak, people don't ever know. So if she doesn't have to see or hear about it, you haven't really broken that rule.
 

PaddedBrony

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You’re just asking for trouble at that rate. You’re better off not even risking it. Trust me, it won’t go well if you do.
 

KenworthW900b

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DO NOT DO IT! I can remember reading about all you went through when she found out about the diapers so in no way would i push it ever. Just my 2 cents
 

RubberJin

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Wow I really feel for you, but the others are right - don't stir things up!

If you feel you need to maybe bring the subject of diapers up / see if you can re-negotiate the situation then that's a separate conversation but a direct ask for you or her to wear is unlikely to be popular!
 

12srepaid

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Definitely not in your best interest of your relationship to even attempt to ask her.
 
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rennecfox

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if shes not ok with it, this isn't going to end well.
 

Trevor

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I really sympathize but I think your situation calls for a scalpel rather than a wrecking ball. Having a real, substantial talk about how her unwillingness to engage with you on this is one thing but I don't see how you can just successfully jump to participation from nowhere. I don't think where you two are is "good enough" but this isn't a likely way to improve things.
 

dogboy

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Your birthday should be a happy day of celebration. I'm afraid asking for diaper wearing will just ruin the day for the both of you. Find something else you would want or would like to do. My wife and I always went out to a nice restaurant and had a nice evening.
 

PaddedInPuyallup

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You guys are right. It’s probably best to leave things alone. It’s just that every year of our marriage, I have asked for nothing for my birthday. I’ve never been one for gifts. This has been the only thing I have really wanted. It would be the best birthday gift ever.
 
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Cottontail

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You guys are right. It’s probably best to leave things alone. It’s just that every year of our marriage, I have asked for nothing for my birthday. I’ve never been one for gifts. This has been the only thing I have really wanted. It would be the best birthday gift ever.
:( But I agree with your decision, given what you've told us before about your wife's angle on things.

The "gift" thing is sadly amusing and relatable. As an adult, I find that there are few things I "want" like I did when I was little, and giving people gift ideas is just annoying. I think it would be rather fun if my wife would diaper up for me at some point, but while her take on the diapers seems somewhat less dire that your wife's, I still don't see myself ever asking her to do that. Years from now, when our kids are out of the house and the pressure to keep it all under wraps is drastically reduced, I may test my boundaries again--just to see where they are. Perhaps then, she'll embrace this particular quirk, and the "don't ask, don't tell" policy will be lifted.
 
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Osthagen

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No you shouldn't! Now obviously, shouldn't is not an absolute mustn't but I really don't think asking her to do that will go well for you.

If she doesn't approve of you wearing nappies/diapers, how do you think she is going to feel about wearing one!?!? Not happy to say the least. She obviously views it as degenerate, and doesn't understand about DL-ism, presumably viewing nappies as something only worn by babies, children and the incontinent. You should wait until she becomes tolerant of you wearing nappies before you even consider asking her something like that.

A few months before we met, my now-wife (a DL, 16 then) was in a relationship with a boy, and she tried to make him wear, which led to them breaking up. So this is much more of a case of "the worst she can say is no" it could have a hugely negative impact on your relationship! I'd advise strongly against it.
 

RubberJin

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You guys are right. It’s probably best to leave things alone. It’s just that every year of our marriage, I have asked for nothing for my birthday. I’ve never been one for gifts. This has been the only thing I have really wanted. It would be the best birthday gift ever.
TALK TO YOUR WIFE!!!

I mean, she's your wife, you're supposed to be together forever, best besties, share everything, be able to be open & honest with each other, so absolutely if you're feeling like you really want to change things, even only a little and only very slowly, FFS talk to her... BUT, in common with everyone else here, the point is to go slowly, carefully, and follow all the advice about talking to your partner in a low-pressure manner and not just spring something on her or pressure or upset her.

You have a need that isn't being met, she has expressed a dislike for it and you need to respect that, but you should at least be able to carefully bring it up with her in an adult conversation to see if there's any wiggle room.

You might start the conversation by telling her how much you love her, that you wouldn't want to hide anything from her, and you want to be open and honest with her about something that's causing you unhappiness.

I can really really recommend Lo's "Dream a little" podcasts for help & advice on the subject.
 

trysexiea

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So my birthday is 11 days away and there’s no doubt my wife is going to soon ask me what I want for my birthday. I am so tempted to ask her if I can be padded for the day and/or night as my birthday gift. Or maybe even ask her to be padded in bed for me. Any of this would be the best birthday gift ever and it wouldnt even cost her a dime. However, the bad part is that she doesn’t approve of my diapers and when I told her about them 4 years ago, the deal was she will never have to deal with them, see them or hear about them. I’m torn because this would be breaking the rule, but shouldn’t my birthday be special enough of a day to get something I really really want? Ugh!
You have answered to your question in the title. If you wife don't like don't ask for it, it's pretty logical thing.
 

DanielW

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I still think you should wear (discretely) whenever you want. The situation with your wife isn't a compromise. It an "I get what I want, and you don't get anything." That's not a great situation to be in. Follow her rules, she doesn't have to see it, deal with it or participate if she doesn't want to...but you are allowed to be happy too.
 

trysexiea

Mysterious
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You can use it, but don't ask your wife about it if she don't like it.
 

Seasonedcitizen

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No! No! No! Women never forget things and she will be forever pissed off. Go to dinner and do something together.
 

Kayleigh

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My wife lets me wear my diapers all day on my birthday. I can wear just a T-shirt and my exposed diapers although she does not really like to see them.
 

Slomo

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So OP, how did it go. Did you spend your bday diapered?
 
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