She didnt take it well

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ninjaofscar

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So, I recently went ahead and told my girlfriend my fetish about diapers, and it didnt go at all as I had planned. We have been dating for a little over 6 months, I'm 19 and she 18. So, I understand her to be a very understanding person with many things in life, so I figured this would be good to tell her..... NOT.

I told her, and we got back inside my house, she started looking all teary-eyed, and I thought I was about to lose the most important girl in my life, so I just went in my room and told her to go sit in the kitchen. I put my head down on my pillow, and cried... Bad -.-. So she came in and laid next to me crying and rubbing my back, saying how she shouldn't have asked what my fetish was, and that she doesn't understand what it's like to have one. And she said we just won't speak of it again, because its weird I guess.

And after that we straightened up and watched some TV, like it was all gone.

So my question to you all is, what do you think? Will I ever get to see her in a diaper, or maybe she will change me?
Opinions are welcome.

Thank you :)
 

Scaramouche

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Well, tbh, it is a strange fetish we have and I would say her ever coming around to accepting it will be difficult. She said she didn't know what it's like to have a fetish and that tells me she didn't know what to say. I would not bring it up again in the near future and see how she handles it. She may come around to the idea but being that she is young and still learning about the world around her, she may not be able to handle it. Give it a few weeks or even a month before you bring it up again and ask her at that time if she has any questions. Please keep us posted as to your relationship status as you two work your way through this. Good luck!
 

MaxiPad89

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She may eventually come around and wear one for you if you play it off as a sexual fetish. DO NOT ask her to change you. I went through an eerily similar story to yours with an ex girlfriend once. She ended up cheating on me and literally told me she almost told my friends and family about it so they would understand why she cheated left. All because I pushed it too far. If you don't want to lose her, do NOT even try and push any boundaries, ever. Girls don't let go of stuff like that.
 

Coffeespoons

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I'm sorry to hear that, I know it must be painful. Maybe give her some time to let it settle in her mind before bringing it up again. Once she gets past the initial weirdness, it might be easier for you to explain more about it and for her to understand that it is ultimately harmless.
I'm not so sure about your chances of seeing her in a diaper when shes not into it. It may not be out of the question, but it's hard to tell.
As for changing you, I can see this as a possibility. If I may make a suggestion, easing her into it step-by-step before even proposing it might make her feel more comfortable. For example, if you are able to come to an understanding about your fetish, wait until she seems comfortable with this being a part of you. Once she is comfortable with that, ask if you can wear around her(making it clear she doesn't have to partake if she doesn't want). Once she gets use to seeing you like that, perhaps casually ask if she would change you(maybe offer a sex act she enjoys in return).

I don't know if that advice is any help, but I wish you the best of luck
 
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Honestly, I think that your focus at this point should be on how to have a regular relationship with her. Questions about whether she'll ever change you or wear a diaper or terribly premature after reaction like that. As has been said here, don't even bring up the fact that you've got your own fetish. She knows now, it will roll around in her head, give her time to come around to it on her own and don't ask anything of her related to the fetish. If you get to a comfortable state in your relationship again and as she gets a bit older and sees more of the world, you can bring up the fetish again and ask her how she feels about it.
 

plasticsounds

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Similar reaction from my wife. Her freaked-out stage lasted a few days. Five years later she still thinks it's strange and wants nothing to do with it.

My answer to the OP is no. Blunt, but honesty is the best policy here.


I hope I'm wrong.
 

ninjaofscar

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Yeah, I agree with all of you. Being that I'm definitely not going to bring it up again for a long time.

We are both going to the same college next year, so I won't be able to wear in my suite room anyway. I'll bring it up again next summer, by just asking if I may wear a diaper around her or something. And I won't make her do anything (because pushing is bad, I agree).

Thank you all so much for the knowledge. Best padded wishes, Ninja
 

EPO1

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So, I recently went ahead and told my girlfriend my fetish about diapers, and it didnt go at all as I had planned. We have been dating for a little over 6 months, I'm 19 and she 18. So, I understand her to be a very understanding person with many things in life, so I figured this would be good to tell her..... NOT.

I told her, and we got back inside my house, she started looking all teary-eyed, and I thought I was about to lose the most important girl in my life, so I just went in my room and told her to go sit in the kitchen. I put my head down on my pillow, and cried... Bad -.-. So she came in and laid next to me crying and rubbing my back, saying how she shouldn't have asked what my fetish was, and that she doesn't understand what it's like to have one. And she said we just won't speak of it again, because its weird I guess.

And after that we straightened up and watched some TV, like it was all gone.

So my question to you all is, what do you think? Will I ever get to see her in a diaper, or maybe she will change me?
Opinions are welcome.

Thank you :)

A few points I can think of that you may consider:

She's 18 - you're 19... neither one of you is bound to have a ton of relationship, sex / kink experience... it's new territories I guess.
With that come a lot of uncertainties and the lack of experience doesn't make it any easier to handle strange stuff.
I guess as she says, it's "weird" - yes it is. Doesn't make it "wrong" - but it can be confusing even for the person with the kink - forget about the person who does NOT have one (or at least not this one)... hard to understand.
And from her point of view, you've dropped the bomb in that department on her.
Just keep that in mind....

What to do?
Well there's a few things I would suggest:
Talk - not necessarily about "diapers".. no - but about Problems. Keep the line of communication OPEN - this is crucial.
Try to BOTH understand what is happening with the other person, what the revelation of the Fetish has caused.
Also try to explain, that you are still the VERY SAME person as before that revelation - its not something that is new, it was just not on the surface.
Also make sure she understands that you do not need to involve her but rather wanted it out in the open because you TRUST her.

Then don't force an issue where there is "none"... basically I would just take it slow, let her know that you are available for talking if there's something she wants to know...
Don't rush stuff - take your time.

maybe point her here if she has questions... (articles).


On another note, you're both young - life is full of changes... and the road ahead of you will present you with a lot of experience.
Maybe this will work out and you'll life together happily ever after.
Maybe this relationship is doomed - it's all out in the open.
Just be open minded and also figure out what YOU want.
 

Drifter

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Relationships are hard enough without the presence of a weird fetish, so having a fetish makes them even more difficult. Some people can adjust to accept the strange behavior of their partner, others can't. You need to talk, of course, but you have to think about what to talk about. Ask yourself if you are willing to give up your diaper fetish in order to keep this girl. Ask yourself if you can do that without ever feeling like she owes you something because of your sacrifice. These may seem like unfair questions because fetishes are just about impossible to get rid of but what you will be asking of her could be just as difficult for her as giving up this fetish is for you. The emphasis of your discussion should not start off with how to incorporate your fantasies into the relationship but should deal directly with whether or not the relationship can survive with the knowledge that you have an incurable and permanent paraphilia. If she is willing to discuss or research the subject there may be a chance for the relationship to grow, but you have to accept the reality that there may be no compromise and the relationship may have to end. It'll hurt like hell if that happens, but you have to be honest with yourself and with her, and accept the consequences and move on.
 

Tungsten

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You're 19 and have been dating for just 6 mos? Not to be a pessimist, but this probably isn't going to be your last relationship. You've literally got your whole life ahead of you. She may very well never come around (and that's her right), so if this is something that's going to be a big part of your sexual identity, cut your losses and find a better match. They're out there. They may not be into diapers now, but there are people that are just more open in general.

Best of luck.
 
M

Maxx

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At 19 I was a college senior. Still 7 years and several semi-serious relationships before meeting my wife of 33 years. Just sayin'.

There's a lot to life other than kinks. Keep your priorities straight. If diapers are anywhere near the top of the list, you probably need professional help.

Edit: My math is a little off. Sorry. I'm a few beers into Friday night with the patio speakers blasting Mountain's "Dream Sequence". I'm older than the numbers say. Whatever. Be patient. Move on if necessary.

Edit 2: Shit!! The wife is at Junior's babysitting and I'm not in a diaper!!! See ya. Maxx out.
 

jonathand

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Do not feel bad that you told her! Your fetish is not something that will ever go away. Better off that you work it out now, only 6 months into the relationship instead of 6 years into marriage. Take a look at this article, it has some great info and may be worth a read for you to better understand it as well. I know it helped me out a ton!! AB/DL: Adult babies and diaper lovers - Perks Magazine
 

KuddleBear22

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ninjaofscar,
I am 'almost' 27 and my Boyfriend who you will see on here also (slugboy) is 25.. We have been dating a few years now (we had a few hiccups at the start of our friendship/relationship but that was due to other parts of our lives), It was towards the start of this year that slugboy told me about his desires.

When slugboy first told me he had an interest in buying/trying different products - I didn't see it as a problem, actually as strange as it might seem, I felt a sense of comfort knowing that he could tell me about this and didn't feel the need to hide it, he has Told and Shown me how appreciative he is of my understanding in his desires.

Even now, many months on - I don't have any issue when it comes to purchasing his diapers for him, this is mainly because he is shy and fears being judged when buying them himself, I seem to lack that area in my brain *jokes*.. I love slugboy and give him all the support he needs to be happy with who he is.

I understand that you are having relationship troubles with your girlfriend not taking the news about your fetish too well, from my best thoughts, if your relationship is solid before you told her then it shouldn't be an issue, she may just need time to process it in her own way.
I didn't need much time to process the information about slugboy's desires, I guess that is partially because I saw it coming before he said anything *:p @ slugboy*

On the other hand, ninjaofscar, You might find that your girlfriend is unable to process the information the way you hope and in this case - just know and find comfort in the knowledge, there is someone out there who WILL accept you for YOU, and not see you for WHAT you desire :)

I hope I have been of some help/comfort with what I have said, If you have any questions, feel free to contact me :)

Cheers
KuddleBear22
 

ManicMunchkin

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It's not necessarily the end of the world. This was just the first conversation about it, and if you're together long-term, there will be others. So give it some time, revisit the topic at a later date just to see how her thoughts about it have panned out, and see where things go. Some guidelines from somewhere who's gone through it:

1) It's reasonable to expect her to: be open to talking about it, hear you're side of the story, and allow you to wear diapers. You can ask her to try out participating with you, but you certainly can't expect her to make it a routine part of your bedroom behavior. That's up to her. However, having reasonable expectations and clearly communicating them will ensure that you can have a healthy relationship even if she doesn't want to be involved in it.

2) Unless she asks something really unreasonable (e.g. if she tells you never to wear diapers again), try not to make any ultimatums. Of course, you need to clearly articulate what your wants and needs are, but you also need to take into account the fact that people change over time, and what she is unwilling to do now she may be willing to do in a year's time. If you give her an ultimatum like, "I need you to diaper me or this isn't going to work," at best you'll get her to participate begrudgingly out of sense of compulsion, and that can only breed resentment. Once you've spent more time together and you have a sense of what she's actually willing to do long-term, then you can start to consider the possibility that you might not be right for each other.

3) Make sure she's clear about what exactly your fetish is and what it means to you. This is why it's important to keep talking about it. My SO was scared when I initially told her about it, but that was largely because she didn't understand it. We had to talk about it several times before she got a sense of what it meant to me, and even then it wasn't until she saw me in a diaper that she really felt ok about it. She still won't wear them, but she's said she might be open to in the future. I don't think it's unreasonable of you to ask her, over time, to come to fully understand what it means to you. At least then she will know exactly what it is she objects to (if she still objects). It's a gradual process and it takes a good deal of time and patience.

4) Make sure she understands that she is more important to you than satisfying your fetish is. Granted, you may decide in time that you can't be with someone who won't participate. However, no one wants to feel that they're being used, and you certainly don't want her to think that you're more interested in getting your rocks off than you are in having a substantive relationship with her. Conversely, if you make diapers and sex the focal point of your relationship, she is going to feel alienated, as if the relationship revolves around you and your sexual needs rather than around both of you. Remember that we learn to appreciate and take joy in other people's interests out of a place of love and respect for them. When that mutual love and respect becomes the substance of your relationship, she might feel more comfortable exploring something that's meaningful to you but strange to her.
 

Fascinating

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Honestly, I think that your focus at this point should be on how to have a regular relationship with her. Questions about whether she'll ever change you or wear a diaper or terribly premature after reaction like that. As has been said here, don't even bring up the fact that you've got your own fetish. She knows now, it will roll around in her head, give her time to come around to it on her own and don't ask anything of her related to the fetish.

I agree. This lifestyle is who you are, not who she is and it sounds like you are trying to change her. She wants to forget about it. You just decide if you are willing to forget about involving her or need someone more willing to share your lifestyle.
Fascinating
 

Minkey72

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A lot of people have made great points in this thread and I have to commend the OP for honestly communicating a fetish. Especially being young. My advice is this: at my current age of 41, I have many fetishes. Die pars became one out of necessity since I became incontinent a few years back but I did fetishize it and my wife understands. For the OP: determine what is most important to you...the fetish or the relationship. Ultimately your honest self will tell you. For me, later in life I needed a woman who would indulge my fetishes and there were MANY long talks about how they started, what they mean to me, and most importantly, how to involve her without freaking her out or alienating her. Kink is kink...but you have to be able to talk about it intelligently and at length in painful detail sometimes. Maybe a kink came from past abuse or an escape from painful memories.

I do have a suggestion though...please do NOT ask your GF to change your diaper. I am incontinent and would never let my wife change a used diaper. It changes the relationship dynamic too much in my opinion. However, wearing with you is another story...even wetting together. If you want to change her then OK...but never the other way around. Women ultimately want strength in a man and changing a man's wet diaper takes that strength away. The changer is actually in a dominant position and that might freak her out more...

Best of luck and remember you have many years ahead of you :)

All the best,
Colin
 
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Englandnap90

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So the best thing is ....she is still with you,
The only thing I can say is take it slow don't freak her out!

I talk from experience and it's better to tell before it gets to serious because of the heart ace if you don't !,,

Trust me!
 

LazyDreamer

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Honestly, I think at this point, it'd be best to lay low and just not talk about it. If she isn't into that now, I don't think she ever will be. If she ever does anything related to diapers with you, it'll most likely be out of the sheer goodness of her heart and her desire to please you at her own expense.
 
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