Shaming myself yet again...

[AngelKitten]

Hi. I just wanted to apologize to the community for avoiding you all, and not posting for several weeks. I've been through a recent period of shaming and denying my identity as an Incontinent/DL, and as a result, I purged by anonymizing as much as possible all my profiles on three AB/DL websites, including this one.

I felt ashamed of myself. I didn't think that I deserved to enjoy wearing diapers, because I am supposed to have urge and overflow incontinence due to diabetic neuropathy affecting my bladder. I questioned for the "nth" time whether or not I was truly incontinent, or I was just fooling myself into thinking I was. I have had whole days in a row in which I didn't wear a diaper or pad at all.

Last night, I made a very bold move. I posted on a gay dating site, and I was very clear that I am incontinent, that I wear diapers, and I identify with the AB/DL community. I even posted a picture of me wearing a diaper. I figured I had a trillion to one chance of finding anyone who would be attracted to me without being repulsed by my diapers, incontinence, or interest and enjoyment of wearing diapers.

I was surprised when I received a message shortly after posting my profile last night. It was followed up by a series of e-mails, then a couple of phone calls this morning. They were from an older man who lives about 50 miles away from me. If everything he has told me thus far in his e-mails is true, then he just might be that 1000 to 1 chance that I want and need so very much.

I am going to keep communicating with this person. He even wants to meet me in person very soon. I promised myself that I will be very careful about my safety, since he is still a stranger to me. However, the possibility that he could be the right match for me is at once tantalizing and intriguing. It seems he was not in any way turned off by anything I had put in my profile.

I have gone ahead and filled out my profile here at ADISC again. Has anyone else here gone through shaming themselves, and hiding their identities as an AB or DL? How do you cope with the emotions and the stress of it all? I would appreciate your comments and advice. I promise I will try and stay active here, as you all have been so kind and supportive to me in the past. Thanks again. Take care, and be safe.

Warm Regards,
"Red"

 

[foxkits]

Ok most of us have felt this faze one time or another some time in our life.
Those of us that seem to fare better are those that come to accept that they are ok being who they are.
With in reason.
Per the binge and purge cycles happen when we are harsh with our selves.

Take a look at how many of us are on this site.
So it's normal for some part of the population to have these trates.
So you are ok this hurts no one only you let it hurt your self.
I used to wet my pants as a kid not my fault why should I blame my self for some thing I could not help.
It's how I'm .
So get over blaming your self you are you diaper's being gay what ever as long as your a good person that's all that matters.

Yes I like my diapers and always will its who I'm .
Took me a long time to learn that but glad I did.
Please dont take as long as I did to learn that.
Your life will be less stressful.
Good luck.

 

[AngelKitten]

Thank you for the encouragement.

 

[dogboy]

Thank you for the encouragement.

I really hope you will accept this and yourself. My wife has been diabetic for 45 years, type A diabetic. She has all kinds of medical problems including end stage renal failure. She's on her dialysis machine as I write this. We do home dialysis. It really doesn't matter if you're incontinent, or like me, AB/DL, there are too many things in this world to either feel guilty about, or just having to cope. Most of us have so few pleasures in life, that something as simple as wearing a diaper, something that many incontinent people are glad to have, and of course all of us when we started out in life, really doesn't matter, nor does it hurt anyone in the whole wide world.

We all use various coping mechanisms and it's sort of, what ever gets us through the day and night. Being yourself is necessary to find happiness as long as it doesn't hurt others. Some people smoke, some drink or do drugs. We wear diapers. The sun still rises in the morning. Amazing.

 

[43goofball43]

When you set up your visit with this fellow, be sure that you go to a very public place, there are a lot of perverted people out there, be safe.

 

[AngelKitten]

Thank you for the wise advice. I know about meeting in neutral or safe places first. No worries. As it turned out, I e-mailed him politely and told him to hold off. I'm not going to pursue this any further. Too many things were equating to the tune of 2 + 2 = 5. Thanks again for the concern.