Separating the sexual and non-sexual aspects

Riddy

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So, this has been something I've been thinking about a bit is the sort of "boundary" so to speak, between the AB side of things (or little in my case) and the DL side of things.
So, I do like to project myself into the role of a child in my own headspace, and diapers (or pullups) are an integral part of that. In part, it's because part of me never felt entirely "right" as an adult." I also wore Goodnites to bed as a kid and my interest in diapers goes back to childhood.
But at the same time, wearing and using diapers, and the thought of doing, so is a source of arousal for me. So this presents a bit of a problem. For one thing, the sexual and little aspects are not something I really want to get mixed up. So how can I enjoy wearing and using diapers while keeping a healthy separation of these two things?
I feel, on some level, I haven't properly entered littlespace. But at the same time, I'm not quite sure how to know when I'm there.
 
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It make some time and effort to Seperate the 2
When wearing a diaper and the material makes you aroused that's just a biological reaction.
You might get aroused while in little space by no means does that mean you are sexually aroused by minors or anything of the sort.
Its just your body reacting to the diaper and it's like hello is it time to wake up? Ok here we go.

Keep your child / little time non sexual and you will adjust between AB & DL time
 
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For Abbie and myself its never been sexual. She had said some sexy comments time to time about different kinds of diapers and diaper covers I been in !
 

I understand where you are coming from. For me, normalizing diapers in my life and finding my "why" behind reaching for them has helped me the most.

I worked to remove the initial arousal or emotion through making diapers less of a novelty in my life. This came from allowing myself to acceptance myself as an ABDL. I slowly stopped hiding it from myself and running fro my myself. Binge/purge cycles began to happen less frequently.

Amidst this I searched for my "why." What reasons I find the desire/urge/affinity to pad up. That has also helped me to mature in how I choose to wear diapers.

Most of the time I'm adulting in diapers (proactive approach) as a comfort/destressing mechanism. My little side comes to help me when I need it more (reactively, most of the time). I can seek my little proactively, but I'm not the best at doing that yet.
 
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The sexual and nonsexual aspects of your desires have been prearranged for you by nature in your early childhood. I don't know of any way to undo that. The best advice I can offer is to accept those things as natural even though unusual. If it gets to the point where it is impacting your mental health don't be afraid or ashamed to get professional help.
 
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This is such a great question. I've often struggled with similar things. Although my LS isn't sexual nor are nappies themselves, I can experience arousal when little. After all I am in an adult body and if enough of my adult mind is there to be triggered in that way then it can happen.

And why not? When in a relaxed and comfortable place physically and mentally. Although personally I don't find nappies arousing I can remember the rush and excitement I used to feel when I wore them less often, and it wouldn't be much of a jump. Also, the physical sensation of a wet nappy for men apparently its like being inside someone (let me know cos I don't have a penis but I think that makes sense).

I've struggled with this same conflict from so many different angles. Over sexualisation of abdl online when I was younger definitely pushed me towards thinking that my little side was a kink and I this felt pressured to conflate and mix aspects of myself and my different needs in a way that wasn't healthy for me. I've also felt shame that I experience sexual feelings when wearing nappies or little.

If you have a sexual aspect to your LS or you're sexuality is influenced by your child self that doesn't make you any less valid an age regressor. Just be careful that you are being attuned to your own needs. Tbh it makes perfect sense to me now that sexual feelings are closely linked to LS and regression, when you think about how sexuality develops. I definitely remember getting weird tingles when quite young before any of it was tied to finding other people attractive. 😂
 
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I actually spoke to a therapist about this in a private session because I was finding a conflict between the two as well. I use AB time for relaxation, comfort, and childlike expression so I felt weird being aroused.

Now, this is going to sound a little weird so please do not take this the wrong way.

Her advice was this: Basically, even though as a society we like to ignore it, babies also get aroused and masturbate. There is a lot of scientific documentation on this. They just don't think of it in the context we do as adults. To them, it is just a feeling, not something we do to reproduce or connect with others or exchange power or whatever it means to anyone. It is just a feeling.

That helped me realize that if I get aroused in a diaper then masturbating is okay. I just clear my mind, enjoy the feeling, and when that feeling is over, it's over. Then I go back to whatever my little self was doing.

Sex with others as an AB I just can't do though. It definitely takes me completely out of little space. So, I just don't do it.
 
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You can't really. It's nature. Somewhat crosswired a bit in us ABDLs but its the same underlying physiological trigger as the 'biological clock' phenomenon. Sights, smells, and gentle feels of a baby or baby things for childless adults makes them instinctively want to make their own babies.
 
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I find no need to separate the sexual and non-sexual sides of ABDL.

Honestly, although I'm aware this is atypical diapers were sexually stimulating to me as long as I can remember. My earliest memory of this is around 4 years old. I remember watching the star wars with darth mole in it and around the obi wan konobi and darth mole fight scene the idea of a nice thick pampers diaper in my bedroom's closet left over from my younger brother's toddler days suddenly popped into my head. I recall my pee-pee feeling tingly and tight and my body getting excited and fluttery at the thought, so excused myself from the movie saying i wanted to go to bed, went up, put on the diaper, and proceeded to continue feeling this enjoyable and strange tension, although I guess I was actually tired because I fell asleep not to long afterwards. This feeling was definitely a sexual feeling.

Also, I kind of view my sexual needs as just another bodily function like peeing and pooping. When you have to pee, you get some discomfort in your bladder and get distracted with the urge until you pee, feel some brief relief, and then forget all about it until you have to pee again. pooping is the same. Honestly, I also think sexual urges are the same: you get hot and bothered, ejaculate and feel relief, and then forget all about it until you're horny again. To me ejaculation and my sexual needs are just basically a #3.

When I'm in 'little mode' and playing with legos or watching cartoons or just sucking a binky in bed cuddling a stuffie, and a sexual urge strikes me, I just pause what I'm doing, go number #3 in my diaper, and then get right back to whatever it was I was doing. It's as natural as pooping or peeing a diaper to me.
 
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lilSorcerer said:
Also, I kind of view my sexual needs as just another bodily function like peeing and pooping.
Don't go over-glorifying sex there, heh. But actually this applies to me as well. I've found that my little side is at its littlest when I just deal with the adult feelings as soon as they appear--which they do. It's like pushing "Snooze" on an alarm clock, but with a somewhat longer snooze period.
 
The parts of my body that involve peeing and the parts of my body that involve sexual stimulation are anatomically connected. I don't see how its possible to separate the two when both are encased in a warm soft diaper. I do understand that we all have many reasons for why we who are not IC enjoy wearing diapers, and for some the sexual attraction may be of much less importance than for others, but I don't see how one can eliminate sexual arousal entirely.
 
lilSorcerer said:
I find no need to separate the sexual and non-sexual sides of ABDL.

Honestly, although I'm aware this is atypical diapers were sexually stimulating to me as long as I can remember. My earliest memory of this is around 4 years old. I remember watching the star wars with darth mole in it and around the obi wan konobi and darth mole fight scene the idea of a nice thick pampers diaper in my bedroom's closet left over from my younger brother's toddler days suddenly popped into my head. I recall my pee-pee feeling tingly and tight and my body getting excited and fluttery at the thought, so excused myself from the movie saying i wanted to go to bed, went up, put on the diaper, and proceeded to continue feeling this enjoyable and strange tension, although I guess I was actually tired because I fell asleep not to long afterwards. This feeling was definitely a sexual feeling.

Also, I kind of view my sexual needs as just another bodily function like peeing and pooping. When you have to pee, you get some discomfort in your bladder and get distracted with the urge until you pee, feel some brief relief, and then forget all about it until you have to pee again. pooping is the same. Honestly, I also think sexual urges are the same: you get hot and bothered, ejaculate and feel relief, and then forget all about it until you're horny again. To me ejaculation and my sexual needs are just basically a #3.

When I'm in 'little mode' and playing with legos or watching cartoons or just sucking a binky in bed cuddling a stuffie, and a sexual urge strikes me, I just pause what I'm doing, go number #3 in my diaper, and then get right back to whatever it was I was doing. It's as natural as pooping or peeing a diaper to me.
Huh. I was under the impression that a sexual feeling wouldn’t occur before puberty.
 
Riddy said:
Huh. I was under the impression that a sexual feeling wouldn’t occur before puberty.
Yes, I think that's true for the grand majority of people, but for me, it just wasn't. I don't know why. This was probably not the first and definitely not the last time diapers and the thoughts of diapers gave me sexual feelings as a young child. Of course, I didn't know what I was having at the time was a sexual feeling, but it was.

I've heard that others have experienced the same thing as me as well although it is rare. Interestingly enough, it seems to be more common among people with strong fetishes. My fetish is exclusive. Diapers and ABDL stuff are the only thing that sexually stimulate me. I have zero sexual attraction to others or anything else.
 
The sexual aspect for me falls more into a general bondage/control type fetish. Based on my own explorations of what stimulates me, I'm definitely motivated by loss of control or mental manipulation that causes a change in behavior. I think that's pretty common in ABDL because so many ABDL art/stories are about people being forced into diapers and having their personalities change. I enjoy this kind of kink with things besides diapers too like erotic mind control, etc.

But just coming home and tossing a diaper on for comfort isn't really sexual for me at all. And when I try to escape into littlespace (although I'm not real good at that), I definitely am not interested in sex.

I'd say this though: "You're not doing it wrong." Some people are interested in ABDL non-sexually, some people sexually, and some (many? most?) a hybrid of the two. How you engage with the interest is part of exploring your kink and yourself. Because you do not personally enjoy an aspect of the kink that someone else does, doesn't mean you are wrong - just different.
 
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