Self-Esteem

What's your self-esteem level?

  • Very, Very High!

    Votes: 17 29.3%
  • It's Average, I guess.

    Votes: 15 25.9%
  • Um, well it's not too high....

    Votes: 18 31.0%
  • I don't have self-esteem at all. :'(

    Votes: 6 10.3%
  • Other (Please Post)

    Votes: 2 3.4%

  • Total voters
    58
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Squigma

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It changes, a lot.

Most of the time, I get by fine. In fact, sometimes my self esteem is probably much higher than average. I feel awesome!

And then something happens. Sometimes I do something people disapprove of. Sometimes I see someone who's so much better than me at something I thought I was good at. Sometimes I see my friends giving attention to everyone else but me. And that tiny little negative thought sneaks its way in, and grows and grows until it takes me over. I start feeling everyone hates me, and there's no way I can stop feeling like that, because by that point I'm feeling too awful to even speak. And if I'm not talking to anyone, they're not gonna talk to me, and so the feeling just grows and grows.

I guess I just need to be constantly reminded that people really do care about me and that I am, somehow, special. But that just doesn't happen, because I'm not special to anyone. I don't feel like I really deserve to open my mouth and talk to people. And if I don't do that, what reason would anyone have to care?

So I guess when I'm by myself I have totally epic self-esteem.

But when other people are involved, I don't really have any.
 

recovery

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I too was the typical "Bullied at school". With my autistic tendencies when I was younger I wasn't able to mix well at all with anyone. I wouldn't want to talk to anyone let alone make eye contact. I would always shy away from people. Which would only make myself get attention by standing at the most. So I was often picked on. I pretty much hated everybody. Came along 1999 I managed to compete in the finals of a nation wide competition. And got recognised around the school for it. Now this confused me somewhat. Because I had very little social understanding at the time. Now that every one once hated me now had some interest.

My little moment of fame went away, and I didn't understand why. I got really depressed over this as I thought that if you had to be happy you had to be popular. I was 9 at the time so I guess it would be safe to say most children at that age are under that illusion. That's when my self esteem was at it worst.

Soon as i started Secondary School (yr7-11) I got probably what was a form of paranoia schizophrenia. I believed something was watching my every move. My parents knew what I was up to in my room. Could read my mind and stuff. My self esteem is a little better. But never the less pretty bad. This lasted I think roughly through lower school.

But I never had a large number of people i talked to. Not until I started my GCSEs did i start talking to a few like minded nerds. Did I start to make friends. And out of school with a different set of people, I was making friends with new in the scouting movement as at the time I was going from Scouts to Explorers. Again, more nerdy-ness their and great accepting people to talk to. At the same time I was becoming a little more open and more social.

Soon I started college where pretty much all my other friends went to. So I was happy I was still with them. As I hated to make new set of friends from scratch. But I did Make few new friends. And I've pretty much been happy since. No idiots to bother me. I've learnt to laugh at my own silly mistakes rather than get myself all worked up over it. And got a pretty decent amount of people to talk to about a number of different interesting topics. So I voted for above average.

I'm pretty happy where I am at the moment and for what I'll achieve in the future. There isn't much that can really put me down. Except maybe If I don't put my act together an revise :p But I'm confident I'll get into my wanted university.
 

avery

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it's crazy how some of the best people in this world often suffer from low self-esteem. charlie, titus, martin, and jack26: you are among the coolest people i know, and deserve to have higher self-esteem than most of the people in this world. you're all such good, kind people! now start feeling good about yourselves, dammit!

as for me i have really high self-esteem. maybe even a little too high, sometimes! :rolleyes:
 
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If you are distracted by happiness all the time, you won't be able to think things through fully.
 
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it's crazy how some of the best people in this world often suffer from low self-esteem. charlie, titus, martin, and jack26: you are among the coolest people i know, and deserve to have higher self-esteem than most of the people in this world. you're all such good, kind people! now start feeling good about yourselves, dammit!
Wow... yeah. For such awesome people, I'm surprised a lot of people here have less-than-good self-esteem. I mean, I'd definitely love to hang out with a lot people here and be proud to call them friends. :)
 

care_a_lot

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I'm not really a big fan of me but I dont' hate myself like I did a few years ago so I put down not too high because that's what I feel.
 

Point

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I voted average, mostly because I don't know. I'm not really hating myself much but I'm not patting myself on the back for anything either. It's situational really, like other people have said. If something good happens then it goes up for a very short while but if something bad happens I feel bad for a long time. But I guess that's natural!

Also, I only accept compliments from a select group of people. I like to be complimented because I'm doing something good, not just because you know me or you want me to feel good!
 

ShippoFox

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I picked "Um, well it's not too high...." But I considered picking the one below that. I have a little bit of self-esteem that makes itself known every once in a while, but not all the time.
 

Peachy

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I don't feel like I really deserve to open my mouth and talk to people. And if I don't do that, what reason would anyone have to care?
I think you don't have the necessary amount of self-assurance to have a high self-esteem if you say something like that. Self-assurance means that you can deal with failure, which is an important skill. Nobody is perfect, and no matter how hard you try, you'll eventually say or do something stupid that people don't agree with and that other people use to make fun of you or to put you down. While you should listen to constructive criticism and use any advice you're offered, you need to develop the ability to just shrug off any derogatory comments you receive. Not everyone will like you! People who attempt hard to make everyone like them will find themselves being taken advantage of way too often. And being taken advantage of is a major blow to your self-esteem!
But just keeping your mouth shut out of fear that people may not like what you have to say is the wrong approach. It's like little kids and hot stoves: Trial and error - touch it and learn that it's hot! Remember: "It’s Better to Try and Fail Than to Have Never Tried At All!"

Once you've learned how to deal with failure you'll know what you can do and can't do and can thus develop a decent amount of self-esteem and self-assurance.

I'll admit that I have pretty low self-esteem these days. My confidence is shot from being shot down over time by friends, school, and other fun stuff. I know that I'm an intelligent person, not half bad looking, and am decent at some stuff - but I can never get past the retarded things I've done or said, or stop putting myself down.
Another example of what I've just said above. People with seemingly low self-esteem are either too shy to try harder, or overshadow their awesomeness with stupid mistakes. Both of you just need to learn which skills you have and how to adequately demonstrate them to the public. And once again: It's trial and error, because nobody has (yet) managed to write a perfect guide on how to act in public, what to say, how and when to say it. It's called "social skills", and just like playing an instrument, social skills need practice.

I clicked "very high self-esteem", by the way. I have so much of it that I need to lug a trolley behind me to fit it all in! :eek: :laugh:

Peachy
 
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I know, I'm not a dweeb,
I'm just a sucker with no self esteem!

-The Offspring.
Haha I can sadly relate to that song, a little too much! You put me in the mood for it, so I am listening to it now. So yeah like I said that song describes my self esteem and why it is below average. I voted for "um its not too high" because I can muster up some self esteem at times, but most of the time I do not have much.

Like I said I can relate to that song very much, because the reason I have such low self esteem is not because of lack of friends, but because a lack of meaningful relationships and lack of opposite gender acceptance. All my life I have been a pretty shy, except I am not nearly as shy as I used to be, like I duscussed in another thread. So because I am shy I rarely was the first one to approach a girl to ask her out, and hardly even just to strike a conversation. It is not that I ever tried but every damn time I did attempt I was shot down some how, some way. Either they say they are already taken (hear girls say that when I know they are not), or when you ask them to do something they say their busy no matter what date you say, or they just flat out admit you arn't for them (which is better than lying like the previous ones). So yeah girls have shot me down so many times its beat my self esteem up a lot! I have had several friends and co workers that were girls that I would try to bring the relationship beyond friendship and everytime I was shoot down. Except at other times it will seem like a girl is interested in me, but when one is either I am way far from attracted to her, or she is just using me/teasing me. Now you see how I relate to that song sooo much.
Now I have had a few girlfriends, but all of them were pretty pathetic except one which lasted a little over a year, and even in the end of that relationship I ended up getting Shat on again, by someone who supposedly loved me.

So that explains my low self esteem. Most people are not aware how low my self esteem really is because I work in the hospitality industry(customer service) and go to school for it I have learned to put on a fake face and act fine. I am not even an ugly guy, I know that for a fact, I am not fat, I do not have obsessive acne, I have blue eyes which most girls love, and relatively overall attractive. Then again I am defiantely no stud, I am pretty slim guy, so I geuss that could have to do why I am rejected so much.

Anyways so yeah I have a pretty bad view for American females because of the things they do....I think I am going to do a thread on that today. I should have saved this convo on AIM I had with this girl about this. Yeah so anyways thats the true me. :sad:
 
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kite

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i have horrible self esteem.
i constantly see myself as fat or not going anywhere in life and constantly have anxiety attacks over it.
its from being with two parents over the past 20+ years that did it. both my mother and father were completely superficial and self absorbed and made me believe that i was lesser if i couldn't be good at baseball, have good grades, or being anything less than above average at anything i did.
you know it's really draining to hear past tense versions of yourself spoken about in a church mass like manner during holidays.
 

Ren

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There are things that get confused which are self esteem and self perception.
Mine aren't average but rather lower than the average ^^;;
 

Aidy

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I am very happy with who I am and think I'm a great person. People like me, I like me and I like people and that's all that's important to me. I have a few things that I'm good at, some I'm brilliant at and I know I can accomplish things if I set my mind to it.
I am happy with exactly what I have and will be happy with what I achieve.

http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y290/Zoomah/CH860417.jpg
 
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Aki

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I never had high self-esteem as a child. I was always picked on, too small for my age, I was very awkward. Toward my sophomore year it plummeted further, and I went from awkward to depressed. Now it's a lot better. I'm still small for my age, but I've accepted myself. I'm comfortable with myself now.
 

Chillhouse

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Crazy high. All the time. It's always been like that.

Don't think I havn't had my share of problems. Although I was never bullied in school, I had a seriously crappy childhood. So I guess I take refuge in knowing I'm a great person, and hey! That's something I've got going for me! :D

Go me!

Just came across this article on self-esteem that I found interesting, which I guess is code for it supports my general observations.

http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2008/04/080428084235.htm
Just want to iterate that my high self esteem isn't the fragile kind. I don't get defensive about stupid stuff.
 

ballucanb

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Me I was the school fat kid, never tought mouch of myself, and yes I was bullied all of the time, it didn't do much for my self esteem.

I'm still not crazy about the way I look, but I'm older now and it really dosen't matter much anymore, because no one is looking.
 

Footed P.J.

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I was always very fit in school, but now, at 32, I am 70 pounds overweight, and my grandmother actually said to her friend, "Look at ****! He's fat!" Yes I am, I guess, but man! I hate hearing it that way.
 
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