Self concept and ABDL (thoughts and feelings about my first ABDL diapers)

[FloraFloraFlora]

I recently, at the age of 20 years old, got my first pack of actual ABDL diapers. I was not sure how they would feel or how I would feel about them beyond maybe finding them erotic or comforting. In fact, I had a nagging worry that once I had them, I would not even like them. Despite this being a completely irrational thought, as I have liked every makeshift diaper and pullup I have ever interacted with, I still feared that my fantasies and reality would be incongruent. It was awkward at first trying to put it on (thank goodness for hook and loop tapes) and even more awkward trying to get my bearings (does this fit right? does this feel good?). However, when I laid down in my bed, snuggled up in my blankets, and actually wet myself for the first time in the diapers I had been looking at longingly online for years, I realized something more. I felt complete. This is who I am. I am a complex person (like everyone is), but this was certainly one of my truer states. Waves of nostalgia, euphoria, and contentment washed over me, and I just felt right. Everything I had felt for as long as I could remember was truer than ever, and wearing this diaper felt like the most loving and caring action I had ever done for myself. No more running from it or thinking I could ignore it. It's me! Or at least a large part of me.


The shame is not gone, of course. I have just opened more layers of it honestly. But what I felt in that moment made me realize that this community is where I belong and that I won't be leaving anytime soon.

I didn't expect to feel as strongly as I did or have any revelations about myself but I assume I am not alone in feeling this way. (I was wearing barnyards in case anyone was curious)

 

[Lyric]

I had the same feeling when I started wearing diapers and rubber pants full time, day and night. Just felt like all was well with the world and this was how I was meant to be.

 

[LaLoneDigi]

The jump to true ABDL diapers was a game changer for me too. It's liberating to just be yourself.

 

[MikeDJ]

I was for so many years sticking to just Adult regular white adult diapers . I do like them but once the market exploded with so many colorful ABDL diapers I had to have them. My first true real ABDL diaper was the DC Amor pink diapers back around 2016 or so . I was blown away at how thick , cute and crinkly they were. The way they looked and hugged my butt , the snug thick feeling....it was like diaper heaven for me.

 

[FloraFloraFlora]

I was for so many years sticking to just Adult regular white adult diapers . I do like them but once the market exploded with so many colorful ABDL diapers I had to have them. My first true real ABDL diaper was the DC Amor pink diapers back around 2016 or so . I was blown away at how thick , cute and crinkly they were. The way they looked and hugged my butt , the snug thick feeling....it was like diaper heaven for me.

I do think it was the snugness and thickness that really sealed the deal for me. It's like a perfect hug and they are adorable so that's a bonus.

 

[ItsTimmyTime]

Good for you! I hope you can work on yourself and rid that shame. This is the real you and there's nothing to feel shameful of or embarrassed about. You are not hurting anyone and now you can finally feel complete.

All those feelings of comfort, contentment and feeling fulfilled... just from putting on a diaper. That's a powerful tool to have, akin to a superpower! I bet many people wish they could feel instantly better from an act so simple, rather than having to self medicate or use other harmful ways to get that release!

This trait/kink can be seen as a blessing, given time and understanding.

 

[FloraFloraFlora]

Good for you! I hope you can work on yourself and rid that shame. This is the real you and there's nothing to feel shameful of or embarrassed about. You are not hurting anyone and now you can finally feel complete.

All those feelings of comfort, contentment and feeling fulfilled... just from putting on a diaper. That's a powerful tool to have, akin to a superpower! I bet many people wish they could feel instantly better from an act so simple, rather than having to self medicate or use other harmful ways to get that release!

This trait/kink can be seen as a blessing, given time and understanding.

Thank you that was a really powerful message. I hadn't thought about it being a superpower but it is in a way. I don't need big and grand things or or other harmful vices to feel better and that is quite nice. The shame is not super powerful but it felt like a slight melancholy at what i knew was inevitable. I knew what I liked already but a bit of me wished it wasn't true. I am doing a bit better at embracing it now.

 

[Nowididit]

Growing up I always dreamed of an infant diaper that would fit me. My being a DL was not complete with the medical grade diapers as they just didn't hit that spot.
When I first saw ABDL diapers online I too looked at them for many years before finally ordering them. My mindset was that if I were to wear these adult infantile looking diapers I would be ashamed or shamed by my wife. I was glad I finally bit the bullet 5+ years ago. My DL side is complete. I feel free of the emptiness and the denying that was within me.
I now wear ABDL diapers exclusively. The more infantile they look the more they appeal to me. I was super ecstatic when ABU released LKs and AGZs. Finally a true adult diaper that reflects/resembles an infant diaper. I still get super excited putting one on.
There have been so many new ABDL diaper that have flooded the market that I can't keep up with them all. Some I really want to wear, some I have no interest in at all. The ABDL diapers that boast the soft pastels and cute infantile prints are the ones that really hit the mark. I have no desire for loud gaudy colors on my diaper. I need a true babyish diaper to complete my DL desires. After 45+ years my DL side is complete and fully satisfied. I'm not ashamed of wearing a babyish diaper because it's what completes me.

 

[Rita]

After years of plan white looking diapers ! I was so tickle to finely see some, also try some out that was a lot more girlish looking to wear finely 🥰 ! Did make wearing them a lot more of fun and cute along a more pleasant feeling that your wearing something so cute again !!
Kind of like wearing cute & sexy looking panties ...

 

[Lyric]

Growing up I always dreamed of an infant diaper that would fit me. My being a DL was not complete with the medical grade diapers as they just didn't hit that spot.
When I first saw ABDL diapers online I too looked at them for many years before finally ordering them. My mindset was that if I were to wear these adult infantile looking diapers I would be ashamed or shamed by my wife. I was glad I finally bit the bullet 5+ years ago. My DL side is complete. I feel free of the emptiness and the denying that was within me.
I now wear ABDL diapers exclusively. The more infantile they look the more they appeal to me. I was super ecstatic when ABU released LKs and AGZs. Finally a true adult diaper that reflects/resembles an infant diaper. I still get super excited putting one on.
There have been so many new ABDL diaper that have flooded the market that I can't keep up with them all. Some I really want to wear, some I have no interest in at all. The ABDL diapers that boast the soft pastels and cute infantile prints are the ones that really hit the mark. I have no desire for loud gaudy colors on my diaper. I need a true babyish diaper to complete my DL desires. After 45+ years my DL side is complete and fully satisfied. I'm not ashamed of wearing a babyish diaper because it's what completes me.

Did your wife have any trouble accepting you wearing diapers.

 

[Subtlerustle]

Funny I was indoctrinated on medical diapers and had zero interest in age play or cute AB diapers. As things progress though there has been a bit of a shift. As medical diapers began their spiral into low quality and feel, AB diapers got more variety and appeal. I do worry that the availability of even a mildly appealing medical diaper is becoming increasingly difficult.

 

[Nowididit]

Did your wife have any trouble accepting you wearing diapers.

Sorry for the late reply.
Yes at first when she first discovered one of my used rolled up diapers under the bed.
We've come a long way since.

 

[Subtlerustle]

Sorry for the late reply.
Yes at first when she first discovered one of my used rolled up diapers under the bed.
We've come a long way since.

Ouch. Lucy…you got a lotta splain’n to do!