Self-Acceptance

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ElizabethGold

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Hi y'all,

So I'm going to my area's big mall on Friday or Saturday and I desperately want to stop at the toy store in there. It's huge and it's awesome(though I forget the name of it but I digress). The problem is that every time I go to shop for a toy I feel extremely self conscious and feel like everyone's eyes are on me, even if they're not...I think it's because my parents abused me and my PTSD because of that I feel like everyone wants to hurt me. I've just now started to accept my ABDL lifestyle and still feel a bit of shame. Anyone have advice on how to overcome the nervousness? I only get to go to the big shopping center or get to go out for fun once in a while so I really wanna be childish(see Zootopia, go to every toy department, get ice cream and try like hell to hide the diapers in my purse, lol.) so I guess this is a big step in my journey: to shop in the toy department without shame.
 

Programmatic

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Not a super helpful answer but, I feel like it's gonna be much the same as how a lot of people get when buying diapers in stores. Aka doing it a few more times and hopefully coming to the realisation that people really aren't interested in what others are buying. Not really much you can particularly do about it other than, well 'practise'.

The way I like to think of it, is as much as it feels like all eyes are on you, think about it the other way around. Have there been many times when you've looked at what other people are buying and taken enough notice of it, or have you even looked at all nevermind processed what they have? Generally it's few and far between. There's even a word that's semi-appropriate for this: sonder.

I know the nervousness sucks, done the whole buying diapers in store thing myself on a couple of occasions, but after the fact I've always thought back and realised it really wasn't too bad at all. Go have some fun! :D
 
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He's right. Believe it or not, people are not looking at you. And even if they are, they're strangers. You won't likely see them again, and if you do, they probably won't remember the interaction, if one occurred. People are too self-centered/involved today to really be observant of things.

Additionally, you are a girl, right? Girls buying Hello Kitty stuff, shopping in Toy Stores, at Build-A-Bear, etc, is pretty much normal now. You can get away with it far easier than your basement-dwelling neckbearded counterparts. Confidence is sexy. Do yo' thang!
 

egor

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Seeing the back story I can understand you situation.

The thing I did with my PTSD is turn it on its head. It was easy in my case but understand it is going to be a lot harder in your case.

Take small steps.

(Suggestions)
first depersonalize your little and go in to shop for her.
next go in and shop but if you feel that people are looking at you. Look back at them because they are in there also. Do not point a finger at someone, because there is 3 fingers pointing back at you.
Next go in and do it for you!!!

Keep talking to us and that too will help you gain self confidence.

You Go Girl.
 

couchesstevenboy

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Hi!!! Breath deeply and make yourself believe that what you are doing is not wrong.

Don't worry because No one cares about what you buy. You have the right as anybody else to buy whatever you want for yourself. Plus like someone said above, think that you are buying the things for someone else, a "niece" of yours for example.

I went to watch zootopia. Omg!!! So funny, and I wasn't the only adult without kids in the room. So yeah
Have fun !!!
 

BlueGrey

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Notice that the place is full of adults looking at toys and buying them. Nobody will question who they are for.
 

siysiy

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yea OK.
Its a big step but the feeling of achievement you get will be amazing.
you will need to push through anxiety and fear.
I think to my self i am going to do this even if I do get told off. The thought of being told off for being naughty as a little can be appealing at times.
but it really happens.

really hope you have a great shopping trip and you get your self some cool toys to play with.

Please let us all now how it went.
 

FeekaDimension

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There are usually more adults in toy stores than kids. Usually the adults are buying birthday presents for kids in the family, they're going to assume you're also picking out a gift. Nobody will think you're weird, I promise.

Alternatively if you get really excited about your purchase, it's acceptable to mention to the cashier that you collect toys as a hobby. I collected toys long before I was an ABDL and lots of people think it's a cool hobby when you tell them about your collection. Only once did I get someone ask if I still played with them (I said no, because well... I don't really play with the stuff I collect, don't want to get it messed up!)
 

caitianx

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Next Sunday I will be 58 years old.
Yes, Autism and Cerebral Palsy guy is going to the Toys R' Us store in town to look at NERF Toy Guns.
I have a large arsenal of them.
I have collected toys for many years.
Anyway, as a developmentally and physically disabled person who was abused in childhood, it did take a long time to accept myself and to come-out as an "Adult Baby/Little".
Being a baby or little boy is the only way I can accept myself as a person.
Yes, I am an adult with adult responsibilities, but I am both adult and child co-existing in the same body.
 

Geckobaby

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I say be yourself and don't worry about others its you that matters your not hurting anyone so have fun
 

ABDL4ever

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I don't know if this will help but most of the poeple will most likely think that your buying the toys for your child or younger sibling. I mean some of my non abdl friends even go and get themselves toys at toy stores so I really don't think any one will mind at all. If you are still having trouble and getting nervice just do what I do picture everyone there in nothing but a very babyish diaper and pacifier it kind of relaxes me and tells me everything will be alright.

P.S. Remember at one point in time we all used diapers and pacifiers.
 
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taterchu

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I still have some anxiety, but just a few years ago it was crippling. I wasn't able to buy groceries, let alone toys. Of course it will become easier with time because it will desensitize you, but for those worries while "in the moment" I think you can focus on going through the motions.

Browse the aisles, you'll be largely left alone as most people are there with goals of their own. If you're uncomfortable because someone gets too close to you or you're worried they're scrutinizing you, move to another section of the store and wander back when they're gone. You can rotate in that fashion until you've made your picks.

Once you get to the cash register, don't focus on what you've put on the counter. Try watching the prices add up instead or pretend to be interested in the candybars or whatever else is stocked by the register, until the cashier gives you your total. That's how I managed to get through my embarrassment and anxiety each time, and after multiple trips the anxiety began to lessen until it became easy to buy-and-go. I hope you have a good time!
 

ElizabethGold

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Thanks for your advice y'all! Yeah, I'm a girl xD this is really gonna help me out this weekend. Oddly enough, I've gotten used to(somewhat) buying diapers because I've been IC for a while but I guess its just getting used to things. I've definitely gotten over anxiety about wetting when I need to and going to see animated movies. Every little step counts I guess. Thank you so much! <3
 

KittyninjaW

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Thanks for your advice y'all! Yeah, I'm a girl xD this is really gonna help me out this weekend. Oddly enough, I've gotten used to(somewhat) buying diapers because I've been IC for a while but I guess its just getting used to things. I've definitely gotten over anxiety about wetting when I need to and going to see animated movies. Every little step counts I guess. Thank you so much! <3

That is true, and i hope you do well.
 

CrazySmoker

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I remeber my "adolescent" age beating myself for my dark side. I tryed to "kill" it in lot of different ways, but nothing worked. Unsure if it comes from my PTSD or (it says my exGF, which is psycholog) Asperger or from my mental anxieties. Finally when I was around 27 - 28 I accepted it never will go away. May I a few dislke that, but is "what I'm," so there's not another way. Better enjoy than selfharm. What only gets me sick is imposibility to find comprenbsive GF, but nothing happens. I wanna not more GFs, who aren't accepting me as I'm. With me I'm OK, but those loneliness is killing me. Can't find any solution. May it comes some day, hope dies last.

Good luck !!!
 

LittleBelle

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If it makes you feel better, I went into build a bear, in my formal business clothes with a friend of my adoptive family and my auntie, we picked our bears, me and my auntie got bunnies and our family friend got olaf.. The staff asked who they are for, we said ourselves, my auntie is 54, our friend is 57.. They smiled at us and said LOADS of adults go in for themselves, they did the whole make a wish and kiss the heart before putting it into the bear, make a birth certificate etc.. it was loads of fun and its so normal now haha.. me and my auntie are going to toys r us in two weeks as well.. I am a business woman with absolutely no shame :laugh: be yourself, no one will think anything of it! We even brought sippy cups whilst we were at it! Oh and all of my friends steal my bunny :( even guys I know walk into my house and give it a cuddle and say how cute it is.. and I mean manly macho guys :laugh:
 

siysiy

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Hi LittleBelle.

Was thinking Do you think kill a bear, Would be up for hosting a ABDL UK meet. Exeter is easy to get to excetera.

Oops I mean build bear. Or do I. Heee, heee

No seriously it might help those of us with depression and anxiety to do something like that.

What do you think.

Sisi.

 

LittleBelle

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Hi LittleBelle.

Was thinking Do you think kill a bear, Would be up for hosting a ABDL UK meet. Exeter is easy to get to excetera.

Oops I mean build bear. Or do I. Heee, heee

No seriously it might help those of us with depression and anxiety to do something like that.

What do you think.

Sisi.


I didn't go to the Exeter one, I was visiting Plymouth, I still think playzone would be the best one!
 

ABDLashax3

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When I buy sipppy cups, toys, or other "baby" items I just tell myself that the people probably think it's for a child. They will probably think that you are a parent and are getting a gift for your little one. Try not to over think it because I promise, the other people sure aren't going to. :)
 

eedoo

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The problem is that every time I go to shop for a toy I feel extremely self conscious and feel like everyone's eyes are on me, even if they're not...I think it's because my parents abused me and my PTSD because of that I feel like everyone wants to hurt me.

No. Almost every little feels that way at first when they're in a toyshop. This has nothing to do with PTSD.

If you look around in the toy store, you will notice that 90% of all toys are bought by adults, simply because they have the money and children don't. Nobody is ever going to find anything weird that you are buying toys. It's the most normal thing.
 
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