Seeking Advice as non-AB/DL

[Insomnia1963]

Good morning/evening depending on when you read the post.

First of all, it might get a bit lengthy, and I'm actually not sure if it's the right forum to post this in, but here goes.

The TL/DR:I can't get into the kink, even though Partner isn't stressing me to get into it, and I'm seeking advice to how to get into it. Basically.


I (29 male) have a partner (20 male) that is an ABDL.
Honestly, it's not my thing. However, I try to participate as much as I'm comfortable since I want to make my partner happy.

Why am I writing here?
The honest answer is, that I feel left alone, despite my partner trying to be open and help me getting into ABDL.

Thing is, I don't know how to interact with the kink. I honestly don't. And I'm seeking advice here, from people that are more experienced.

On the one hand, I'm trying to support my partner, since I do NOT think that ABDL is disgusting or what not. However on the other hand, I notice how I'm dragging out situations with my partner at times, just to delay the ABDL part of his life.

And honestly? I feel like the worst partner in the world, whenever I do it. Because I do not feel disgust. At all. I'm honestly overwhelmed and confused how to behave and what to do. Because what I see, is an grownup person, trying to be an "Little". (I think that was the right term?) However, it doesn't click on my brain. Which... Makes situations awkward for the both of us. He told me, that it'd be okay, and we would take it step by step, and not further than I'm comfortable. And I'm happy that my partner has the patience with me.

Earlier this evening, I put on his diaper for him, for the very first time. I even started playing a children bedtime story in the background, since I read that some people like that. So as you see, I'm trying my best here being supportive.
He's also next to me asleep, thus I'm having the time to write this here.

But.. Yeah. I feel like I'm rambling at this point, and I apologise. But I don't know how to feel right now.
Is there something wrong with me, since I can't get into the kink? Because I want to make him happy, but I'm afraid that one day, I'm going to do it say something that hurts him deeply while he's a "Little", which could end the relationship.

As I said, long read. I'm confused. Any tips, on how to get into the kink?
I'm watching ABDL youtubers, and listening to podcasts about the topic, with interest, since it's a new world. But as I said, can't seem to get into it.

To whomever who took the time to read it:Thank you, and have an actually fantastic day. You're awesome!

 

[littlemoosey]

Do you have younger brothers or sisters, nieces or nephews? How did you interact with them? How did your mom treat you when you were little? Was she gentle with you, caring, tender... did she play with you? Did she know what you needed before you knew and just took care of it? Did she let you make the decisions or did she make them, was she firm with you when she had to be?

It really is very intuitive if you think about it. Your partner is a little, what do you realistically think that a child that age can do and cant, then you fill in the blanks. I can not speak for all little's, but I certainly like it when momma2moosey is directive, that is she makes the decisions in a firm manner. Sometimes I am busy and cant take the time to be wearing diapers, guess what, she can get that mommy tone and tell me, "I am going to wear diapers" and I will, and I love it when she does that.

It really isnt rocket science. Worst case if you cant figure it out, ask your partner what he would like tell him you would like to know his expectations. It will never ever be perfect, only a real mamma can do that... your job is to make it as close as you can.

 

[dogboy]

I think it's a case of either you're AB/DL or your not, and we're a rare group so not many of us out of an entire population. But if you want to please your partner as the caregiver/parent, just imagine yourself as the parent of a two or three year old. My wife certainly wasn't into it but she would buy me things like footed jammies, sippy cups, plushies, etc. She also would read me a child's bedtime story, that sort of thing.

No one can be forced or even force themselves into wanting to wear diapers. The most you can hope for is to be supportive and provide the care and comfort of being a parent when he's in baby mood.

 

[PaddedMewtwo]

I would off stop referring to being an ABDL as a kink. It isn’t really a sexual thing, only a small minority of ABDL’s make it completely sexual.

Being an ABDL is more of a lifestyle, it’s how adults cope with the hardships of adult life in their personal lives. Maybe you can be a care giver instead of an ABDL?

 

[ORBaby]

I think you are doing great, you diapered him and got him ready for bed and played a bedtime story. He is now sleeping next to you. I can't think of anything better.
What is his little age? That would help us have a better idea of what to expect. Most important is to talk with him about what he wants and what you are comfortable with.

 

[siysiy]

Good morning/evening depending on when you read the post.

First of all, it might get a bit lengthy, and I'm actually not sure if it's the right forum to post this in, but here goes.

The TL/DR:I can't get into the kink, even though Partner isn't stressing me to get into it, and I'm seeking advice to how to get into it. Basically.


I (29 male) have a partner (20 male) that is an ABDL.
Honestly, it's not my thing. However, I try to participate as much as I'm comfortable since I want to make my partner happy.

Why am I writing here?
The honest answer is, that I feel left alone, despite my partner trying to be open and help me getting into ABDL.

Thing is, I don't know how to interact with the kink. I honestly don't. And I'm seeking advice here, from people that are more experienced.

On the one hand, I'm trying to support my partner, since I do NOT think that ABDL is disgusting or what not. However on the other hand, I notice how I'm dragging out situations with my partner at times, just to delay the ABDL part of his life.

And honestly? I feel like the worst partner in the world, whenever I do it. Because I do not feel disgust. At all. I'm honestly overwhelmed and confused how to behave and what to do. Because what I see, is an grownup person, trying to be an "Little". (I think that was the right term?) However, it doesn't click on my brain. Which... Makes situations awkward for the both of us. He told me, that it'd be okay, and we would take it step by step, and not further than I'm comfortable. And I'm happy that my partner has the patience with me.

Earlier this evening, I put on his diaper for him, for the very first time. I even started playing a children bedtime story in the background, since I read that some people like that. So as you see, I'm trying my best here being supportive.
He's also next to me asleep, thus I'm having the time to write this here.

But.. Yeah. I feel like I'm rambling at this point, and I apologise. But I don't know how to feel right now.
Is there something wrong with me, since I can't get into the kink? Because I want to make him happy, but I'm afraid that one day, I'm going to do it say something that hurts him deeply while he's a "Little", which could end the relationship.

As I said, long read. I'm confused. Any tips, on how to get into the kink?
I'm watching ABDL youtubers, and listening to podcasts about the topic, with interest, since it's a new world. But as I said, can't seem to get into it.

To whomever who took the time to read it:Thank you, and have an actually fantastic day. You're awesome!

How wonderful you are be supportive of him.

It may help not to see it as a kink but a side to your partner character. Us Littles have all the intellect of an adult and the heart and soul of child. It's how we are.

As a suggestion is you have little time together. This is where you take the role of the caregiver to you Little one. Giving him the space to regress,

Than out side of that time he can be your BF support you with your thing.

I also suggest you get a copy of "There is a baby in my bed," by Rosalind Bennett

All the best

Hugs

 

[iluvdps2]

Good morning/evening depending on when you read the post.

First of all, it might get a bit lengthy, and I'm actually not sure if it's the right forum to post this in, but here goes.

The TL/DR:I can't get into the kink, even though Partner isn't stressing me to get into it, and I'm seeking advice to how to get into it. Basically.


I (29 male) have a partner (20 male) that is an ABDL.
Honestly, it's not my thing. However, I try to participate as much as I'm comfortable since I want to make my partner happy.

Why am I writing here?
The honest answer is, that I feel left alone, despite my partner trying to be open and help me getting into ABDL.

Thing is, I don't know how to interact with the kink. I honestly don't. And I'm seeking advice here, from people that are more experienced.

On the one hand, I'm trying to support my partner, since I do NOT think that ABDL is disgusting or what not. However on the other hand, I notice how I'm dragging out situations with my partner at times, just to delay the ABDL part of his life.

And honestly? I feel like the worst partner in the world, whenever I do it. Because I do not feel disgust. At all. I'm honestly overwhelmed and confused how to behave and what to do. Because what I see, is an grownup person, trying to be an "Little". (I think that was the right term?) However, it doesn't click on my brain. Which... Makes situations awkward for the both of us. He told me, that it'd be okay, and we would take it step by step, and not further than I'm comfortable. And I'm happy that my partner has the patience with me.

Earlier this evening, I put on his diaper for him, for the very first time. I even started playing a children bedtime story in the background, since I read that some people like that. So as you see, I'm trying my best here being supportive.
He's also next to me asleep, thus I'm having the time to write this here.

But.. Yeah. I feel like I'm rambling at this point, and I apologise. But I don't know how to feel right now.
Is there something wrong with me, since I can't get into the kink? Because I want to make him happy, but I'm afraid that one day, I'm going to do it say something that hurts him deeply while he's a "Little", which could end the relationship.

As I said, long read. I'm confused. Any tips, on how to get into the kink?
I'm watching ABDL youtubers, and listening to podcasts about the topic, with interest, since it's a new world. But as I said, can't seem to get into it.

To whomever who took the time to read it:Thank you, and have an actually fantastic day. You're awesome!

First, since you're posting here and actively trying to support your partner, I'd say you are pretty freaking awesome and I am proud of you.
Have you tried wearing a diaper? You kind of hinted at it but I wasn't sure. Have you experimented with using it to see how that feels? Have you asked your partner to diaper you and show you what feels good for him? You are very open minded.
Ultimately, if this is not your jam, no big deal. What is? Carve out some time, set some boundaries, and let your partner know how he can best support you on this 2 way street.

 

[blaincorrous]

I would off stop referring to being an ABDL as a kink. It isn’t really a sexual thing, only a small minority of ABDL’s make it completely sexual.

Being an ABDL is more of a lifestyle, it’s how adults cope with the hardships of adult life in their personal lives. Maybe you can be a care giver instead of an ABDL?

I don’t want to oppose your view in a hostile sense, but I disagree with just about everything you said. Some people treat it as a kink, some people treat it as a lifestyle. Some people are here for medical reasons, some people are here for the immediate eliminatory convenience of a diaper. This is a very complex, multi-spectrum group. Some people use diapers and age play to cope while others had a formative experience that put them on this path, whether abuse or otherwise.

But I would not characterize it a “not a kink”. Is it a majority or a minority? It doesn’t matter. There are enough people that treat it as a kink that asking the OP to stop calling it a kink is not helping the OP.

To the OP, I can say that I wish my partner were just as into this as I am. I’m happy with what I get, but I do wish my partner would be as filthy kinky as I am, and that would feel like it validates how I feel.

 

[buridan]

@Insomnia1963 Kudos to you for being supportive of your partner and open to exploring!

Different ABDLs like different activities and get different emotional responses from those activities. For some, putting on a diaper and a footed sleeper and sucking on a pacifier is a way to a place of safety and comfort. For others, it's a sexy humiliation scene.

I think the next step (if you haven't already done this) is to ask your partner what emotional experience he's looking for.

 

[SpAzpieSweeTot]

Try not to think, "acting," as I know very few ABDLs who are just playing dress up.

Try to think of your partner as, "accessing."

This is, most likely, something that is in him.

If he's anything like me, he's saying, "This is my soft underbelly. Here's my beating heart. Please don't stab me in either one."

In your mind's eye, imagine someone standing with arms open, and trusting you to give love that won't hurt, as if it's the first real hug he's had in years. That's what I think happens with most ABDLs.

Do you know how awesome and special you are to him, or how great you're doing, just by asking questions, instead of getting grossed out and freaking out? You're doing great!

 

[Tangela]

I've just finished reading the book from Dr. Rhoda Lipscomb, "You Are not Broken" after it being mentioned in this post (thank you @PNW509Little ). It's a very informative book aiming to help ABDLs accept themselves, from someone that work with the subject for many years; It has an entire chapter dedicated do partners seeking for advice, if you wish to read it.

I will try summarize some of the concepts I read in the book alongside some personal opinion.

First and foremost, congrats. The first part you already done: acceptance. Acceptance is different from tolerance, because the latter means that you allow some behavior to happen, but wish it didn't. Acceptance means you are truly OK and comfortable with the behavior of your partner.

Second, acceptance come in different levels . You can fully engage in the experience or be more of an spectator with some involvement. I don't personally think some levels are "better" than others because acceptance is way more important. Even better, your partner is cool with your level of acceptance, so relax a bit. You are cool with him being an ABDL, he is cool with your level of acceptance. +1 point for both of you.

So, don't think you are "the worst partner in the world". You are far from it. The worst partner in the world would do worse than not accept: he would just tolerate it and later use it to manipulate the other, an "you own me one" or "if you do x I will tell everybody" situation.

Now, to finally give some opinion on your question: your level of acceptance seems more compatible with small gestures of affection rather than big ones. No problem. Here is a list of small things you could do that sure would bring a smile to most ABs:

- Talk about the subject in a free non judgmental way. Bring the subject sometimes without waiting him to bring it up;
- Pat his butt when he is diapered (crowd-pleaser);
- Let him rest his head on your lap. Pet his hair while he does it;
- Cuddle in a more cute/childish way;
- If he is stressed, anxious, etc leave a diaper/"little" clothes over the bed for him to wear;
- Help him shop for "little" clothes and accessories;
- Help him find a good place to store diapers/clothes/accessories;
... (the list could go one, these are some examples).

See? Don't need to be anything extraordinary, just "regular" love with something "little" mixed in. I bet that for 90% of the community, these gestures would be more than enough.

 

[Kittyinpink]

I think it's a case of either you're AB/DL or your not, and we're a rare group so not many of us out of an entire population. But if you want to please your partner as the caregiver/parent, just imagine yourself as the parent of a two or three year old. My wife certainly wasn't into it but she would buy me things like footed jammies, sippy cups, plushies, etc. She also would read me a child's bedtime story, that sort of thing.

No one can be forced or even force themselves into wanting to wear diapers. The most you can hope for is to be supportive and provide the care and comfort of being a parent when he's in baby mood.

It's lovely when you get some form of acceptance!! I am getting away with teddy's , nappies and girls clothing to a certain degree! I live with my mum and I must be careful!!

 

[Consul]

Good morning/evening depending on when you read the post.

First of all, it might get a bit lengthy, and I'm actually not sure if it's the right forum to post this in, but here goes.

The TL/DR:I can't get into the kink, even though Partner isn't stressing me to get into it, and I'm seeking advice to how to get into it. Basically.


I (29 male) have a partner (20 male) that is an ABDL.
Honestly, it's not my thing. However, I try to participate as much as I'm comfortable since I want to make my partner happy.

Why am I writing here?
The honest answer is, that I feel left alone, despite my partner trying to be open and help me getting into ABDL.

Thing is, I don't know how to interact with the kink. I honestly don't. And I'm seeking advice here, from people that are more experienced.

On the one hand, I'm trying to support my partner, since I do NOT think that ABDL is disgusting or what not. However on the other hand, I notice how I'm dragging out situations with my partner at times, just to delay the ABDL part of his life.

And honestly? I feel like the worst partner in the world, whenever I do it. Because I do not feel disgust. At all. I'm honestly overwhelmed and confused how to behave and what to do. Because what I see, is an grownup person, trying to be an "Little". (I think that was the right term?) However, it doesn't click on my brain. Which... Makes situations awkward for the both of us. He told me, that it'd be okay, and we would take it step by step, and not further than I'm comfortable. And I'm happy that my partner has the patience with me.

Earlier this evening, I put on his diaper for him, for the very first time. I even started playing a children bedtime story in the background, since I read that some people like that. So as you see, I'm trying my best here being supportive.
He's also next to me asleep, thus I'm having the time to write this here.

But.. Yeah. I feel like I'm rambling at this point, and I apologise. But I don't know how to feel right now.
Is there something wrong with me, since I can't get into the kink? Because I want to make him happy, but I'm afraid that one day, I'm going to do it say something that hurts him deeply while he's a "Little", which could end the relationship.

As I said, long read. I'm confused. Any tips, on how to get into the kink?
I'm watching ABDL youtubers, and listening to podcasts about the topic, with interest, since it's a new world. But as I said, can't seem to get into it.

To whomever who took the time to read it:Thank you, and have an actually fantastic day. You're awesome!

Hi,

No need to apologize for length. This is clearly something that is weighing on your mind and you need to talk about it. That's OK! Since you took the time to write down your thoughts, I'll provide you a lengthy response in return

I am a male in my 20s and ABDL. I have a non-ABDL male partner who is in their 20s too. Hopefully my advice/experience can help you.

First, let's get a few things clarified. There is a bit of an age gap between your partner (20) and yourself (29). Your partner is more likely than not to have less experience in life navigating relationships and their ABDL side. So you will both need to exercise patience with one another. When I was 20, I was still new to actively exploring parts of my ABDL side. You are both on a journey, and need to understand that things take time.

Second, as others have pointed out, ABDL both is and is not a kink. It depends on the person. For some, ABDL can be an entirely sexual interest. For others, it is used to relieve stress, anxiety, or simply is a hobby or "lifestyle". For many, like myself, it is a combination of sexual and non-sexual aspects. It's important to clarify what this interest means to your partner and what they want to get from it.

This leads to the next point: communication. No relationship can work without good communication. Everyone can be guilty of poorly communicating their needs. It can be hard. It's important you both communicate with each other regularly and honestly. You and your partner need to talk about your needs, his needs, and both of your limits.

And speaking of limits: it's OK to have limits! It's OK to not what to do certain things! We are all human and we are all allowed to like and dislike different things. Your partner being "little" doesn't click for you right now. Maybe it will later, maybe it won't. Either way, you are not a failure and there is nothing wrong with you. Likewise, there is nothing wrong with your partner wanting to be "little" and wanting to do "little" things.

My partner understands and accepts this side of me, and participates to a certain extent, but some things he doesn't understand and probably never will. We work out a compromise that accepts this reality, acknowledging both parties and letting both parties participate in what they're up for.

Don't beat yourself up over this. You have already admitted to diapering your partner and having a bedtime story. Any ABDL would be ecstatic to have such an experience. For me and many ABDLs/Littles, this part of ourselves is extremely personal and intimate, meaning that when we share it with someone, it is a powerful bonding experience.

It sounds like you're specifically feeling overwhelmed and wanting to know "what comes next". If you're looking for some direction on what to do next, here are some suggestions:

• Ask yourself what are your limits in what you are willing to do
• Have an honest talk with your partner about his desires and your desires
  • Clarify what role do you play in the relationship? Are you a daddy, a caregiver, or just a partner in the traditional sense?
  • Does your partner want to direct his experience, or does he want you to take control of things?
  • What level of engagement does your partner expect, and what are you capable of?
  • How does this factor into your sexual relationship?
  • What "age" does your partner like to play as, or what types of activities does he prefer?
• Some general ideas for things you can explore (you've already done some of these!):
  • Cuddling
  • Watching children's cartoons or movies together (I am very partial to Paw Patrol )
  • Drawing or colouring together
  • Reading a story
  • Playing with toys
  • Playing pretend
  • Dressing your partner in a fun "little" outfit
  • Providing fun bubble bath time
  • Providing a plush toy your partner can have at bed-time
  • Diapering your partner

I hope this helps!

If you feel you need further guidance, I would suggest speaking with a kink-friendly relationships counsellor who can provide more professional insight.

 

[aberrantlyme]

What I'm going to say will likely fly in the face of what an ABDL partner wants to hear at some point in a relationship with their spouse (myself included), but I feel like I'm far enough down the path with myself and my spouse now that it is the best, long-term thing to say for a relationship.

I saw you ask over and over in your post "how do I get into this kink?" and perhaps you need to shift your mindset a little bit. I don't know how much your partner is asking/pressuring you to be involved, but you need to make sure that you are taking care of yourself first so that you are able to stand on a solid place to be there for your partner. You can participate how you feel comfortable, and perhaps that will evolve over time, but you should not berate yourself about how you can't dive into the deep end of care giving or being a little right now.

Perspective: I am a male ABDL married to a very wonderful woman.

When I first shared my little side with my wife it was the first time I had vocalized these things with anyone else. I was learning in that moment myself about how I felt about ABDL and diapers in general. I've continued to learn what they do for me, and have evolved myself in who I am as an ABDL. My spouse has done the same. She has learned, cried, stressed, and worried about her place in our relationship relating to ABDL. I have seen her grow in her love for me and comfort with diapers. She does not interact with them very much at all at this point.

Would I like her to? absolutely!
Have I learned that it is better to not push diapers onto her? absolutely!

She will find her own comfort level, which can also grow and evolve over time. That is HER pace to set (and is also your pace to set in your own relationship.

I hope that I have matured not only as a partner in a marriage, but as someone that has a part of themselves that is aberrant and how I can provide the best chance for success between myself and a spouse that does not share in the same desire.

Hang in there, and remember to take care of yourself!

Good morning/evening depending on when you read the post.

First of all, it might get a bit lengthy, and I'm actually not sure if it's the right forum to post this in, but here goes.

The TL/DR:I can't get into the kink, even though Partner isn't stressing me to get into it, and I'm seeking advice to how to get into it. Basically.


I (29 male) have a partner (20 male) that is an ABDL.
Honestly, it's not my thing. However, I try to participate as much as I'm comfortable since I want to make my partner happy.

Why am I writing here?
The honest answer is, that I feel left alone, despite my partner trying to be open and help me getting into ABDL.

Thing is, I don't know how to interact with the kink. I honestly don't. And I'm seeking advice here, from people that are more experienced.

On the one hand, I'm trying to support my partner, since I do NOT think that ABDL is disgusting or what not. However on the other hand, I notice how I'm dragging out situations with my partner at times, just to delay the ABDL part of his life.

And honestly? I feel like the worst partner in the world, whenever I do it. Because I do not feel disgust. At all. I'm honestly overwhelmed and confused how to behave and what to do. Because what I see, is an grownup person, trying to be an "Little". (I think that was the right term?) However, it doesn't click on my brain. Which... Makes situations awkward for the both of us. He told me, that it'd be okay, and we would take it step by step, and not further than I'm comfortable. And I'm happy that my partner has the patience with me.

Earlier this evening, I put on his diaper for him, for the very first time. I even started playing a children bedtime story in the background, since I read that some people like that. So as you see, I'm trying my best here being supportive.
He's also next to me asleep, thus I'm having the time to write this here.

But.. Yeah. I feel like I'm rambling at this point, and I apologise. But I don't know how to feel right now.
Is there something wrong with me, since I can't get into the kink? Because I want to make him happy, but I'm afraid that one day, I'm going to do it say something that hurts him deeply while he's a "Little", which could end the relationship.

As I said, long read. I'm confused. Any tips, on how to get into the kink?
I'm watching ABDL youtubers, and listening to podcasts about the topic, with interest, since it's a new world. But as I said, can't seem to get into it.

To whomever who took the time to read it:Thank you, and have an actually fantastic day. You're awesome!

 

[LittleBoyFR]

There's some good advice here already, I just wanted to add:

You. Are. Awesome.

You clearly love your partner. As long as everything you do for him is for love, I don't think you can do the wrong thing. I know from experience with my partner that this is not the easiest thing to "get into". It takes a little time to really understand. But your willingness tells me that you will.

 

[WeakEndPartyPerson]

If you're standing by him still then you're one of the good ones. So thank you, you can think of yourself as a bit of an ally.
-
WE
PP (and more)

 

[WanderingToddler]

I add look for the things about the junk you like and move along with those. If you can't think of any look for them. Most of us have aspects of ABDL that affect our regular lives there might be some things he does that there's you fall in love with him that are also related to him being abdl.

Another option is to just take time and get used to it. Perhaps have a game where you try to guess if he is diapered or not. If you gues right you pick desert if not he does or something like that.


Ultimately I guess I am asking what parts are you avoiding, what parts are you ambivalent towards, and what parts of any do you like it's think you might like?

 

[CutePrincess]

It sounds like you're specifically feeling overwhelmed and wanting to know "what comes next". If you're looking for some direction on what to do next, here are some suggestions:

• Ask yourself what are your limits in what you are willing to do
• Have an honest talk with your partner about his desires and your desires
  • Clarify what role do you play in the relationship? Are you a daddy, a caregiver, or just a partner in the traditional sense?
  • Does your partner want to direct his experience, or does he want you to take control of things?
  • What level of engagement does your partner expect, and what are you capable of?
  • How does this factor into your sexual relationship?
  • What "age" does your partner like to play as, or what types of activities does he prefer?
• Some general ideas for things you can explore (you've already done some of these!):
  • Cuddling
  • Watching children's cartoons or movies together (I am very partial to Paw Patrol )
  • Drawing or colouring together
  • Reading a story
  • Playing with toys
  • Playing pretend
  • Dressing your partner in a fun "little" outfit
  • Providing fun bubble bath time
  • Providing a plush toy your partner can have at bed-time
  • Diapering your partner

I hope this helps!

If you feel you need further guidance, I would suggest speaking with a kink-friendly relationships counsellor who can provide more professional insight.

You are going to have to talk to him and ask what he really wants out of it because everyone is different that likes different aspects of it. Also the "kink" part can come into play when it comes to dom/sub type of things or playing the "lead" or "adult" in general.

- Talk about the subject in a free non judgmental way. Bring the subject sometimes without waiting him to bring it up;
- Pat his butt when he is diapered (crowd-pleaser);
- Let him rest his head on your lap. Pet his hair while he does it;
- Cuddle in a more cute/childish way;
- If he is stressed, anxious, etc leave a diaper/"little" clothes over the bed for him to wear;
- Help him shop for "little" clothes and accessories;
- Help him find a good place to store diapers/clothes/accessories;
... (the list could go one, these are some examples).

See? Don't need to be anything extraordinary, just "regular" love with something "little" mixed in. I bet that for 90% of the community, these gestures would be more than enough.

for example I like this bold stuff. I guess if you feel awkward, maybe see it as playing pretend in general?or "roleplay"

Now I can't speak for your partner but if it was me having a non-abdl partner, i would like them to take part in some things like diapering me maybe giving me pasi, other things, watching t.v, playing games with me. they (as in my partner) do not need to wear a diaper themselves, so stuff like that do not pressure your self

 

[nwm]

Some will disagree - but for starters, at least for now, try loosing the idea of "kink", as it implies sexual - and AB in itself is not sexual. I have heard of it becoming that why for some but it really is not by itself.
As far as what - well the basic is just how would you interact with a actual child of the "little" age.
Fine-tuning is really a matter of communication.

 

[BoogieBear]

First off OP I applaud you for being open to something that your not as into. Not alot of partners take the time or effort to give things a try before having a opinion on the matter. As to your request for advise... The best I can offer is honestly. Not only to your partner but to yourself. There is no shame in explaining to your partner that it's something your not into. Relationships aren't perfect and the pieces don't always aline. For example.. I have a similar situation where my partner isn't too fond of the Ageplay and abdl community and it too was something he couldn't get his mind around. He knows about my little side and when I'm in that headspace he tried to fulfill that role of being my cg. At the time he told me he didn't have an idea of how to cater to my Kink/ lifestyle (both terms are valid). Because he was honest about his feelings I knew that it was a very real possibility that we wouldn't be able to explore this fully as I would think I'm forcing him to participate and he felt pushed or something he had to do rather than wanting to do. The point I'm trying to make is.. give it some time and if it's still not something you want to do... Best thing would be is to tell your partner your thoughts. Be as honest as possible because it's not fair to him and it won't be fair to you either. Everyone here had some good tips. Ask him what do he need when In. Littlespace, ask how can you assist him . Come up with routines and schedules, make it fun for the both of you and discuss everything fully.. this is a dynamic and with all kink activities any scene should be discussed/negotiated fully and agreed apon both parties involved. Make it your own and do what works best for the two of you to enjoy each other... Kink doesn't mean it has to involve being sexual but again that's something to consider and should be talked about as well