sonadam9 said:
About how long does it take to get to that point? And does it cause trouble when your not diapered
I’ll answer in reverse: no it does not cause trouble or IC issues. I’ve been wearing for a very long time, 20+ years and I have no problem with control. Honestly, I’m more worried about forgetting I’m not diapered!
It didn’t take long at all to be able to let go at will, maybe half a dozen times? Maybe a few more? To get to the point of peeing without realizing it? Maybe a year or a bit more? I wasn’t wearing a lot at first though so maybe less if you wear a lot. But I had to work at it a little at first too.
Sorry this is long…
I wear part-time, as I’m in the mood, so not 24/7 or IC. It’s maybe 40-70% of the time. I started out by going and standing in my room where it’s quiet when I had to pee. I like the idea of standing in front of the toilet too, but maybe turn the lights off/down? This is gonna sound weird, but I found that closing my eyes and putting my face in my hands helped a lot. I think that was more an autistic thing though. I think what it did for me was block out distractions and allow my mind to to focus inward on the sensations of what my muscles were doing. Kinda like a mini-meditation maybe? I focused on both relaxing and using the ‘peeing’ muscle to
gently push (I think if you push too hard it actually clamps off) like I would normally when using the toilet. At first it would take a few minutes (felt longer!) but once I got the flow started, I felt the sensation and was able to focus on relaxing to let it continue. Then when it petered out and my body wanted to clench back up - and I think this is key - I focused on keeping it relaxed. I would see how long I could keep relaxed. I would still have my face in my hands. I could often feel it start to tighten up and would have to ‘manually’ stop it and go back to relaxed. I found there was usually a second, smaller pee waiting...I guess that was my little ‘reward’ for keeping relaxed! When I was done and going back to whatever I was doing, I‘d practice keeping relaxed as I transitioned. It wasn’t too long before I no longer needed to do the face in my hands thing. It‘s kinda about gaining an awareness of a muscle you’ve never been aware of before, and you’ll quickly find you can exercise control over it just like any other muscle.
The more I practiced, the longer I could keep it that way, until I could relax it on command. Over time, that ‘relaxed’ state became much more natural and easy to achieve. Then I went to other positions - sitting, and laying down. (Just be aware if you‘re putting pressure on the perineal area - like sitting on the edge of a couch, it blocks flow.) Over time, I was able to do it subconsciously.
Now as soon as a diaper goes on, I naturally relax without even being aware of it, almost like a Pavlovian response. I still remember the first time I was able to pee while walking, and the first time I caught myself peeing without even realizing it! It’s a wonderful feeling!
Drink a ton of water too, when practicing. It helps a lot if you gotta pee often - more practice!
Hope that wasn’t TMI, I know I tend to do that