Relationships

[redtails]

First of all, I know this is my first post but I've come to understand a lot of things by trial and error myself. I'll tell you my experiences and my thoughts about relationships, and how you can tell someone you love, about your fetish, if you should feel so. Which you probably must, you can't keep it a secret all your life, it kills you from inside out, trust me. You should all know that, come down to it, this is just a fetish. I know some people see it as a way of life, but to me, it is just a diaper fetish, just a fetish. And, seeing as it is a fetish, let us treat it like one . What I mean, is that you really shouldn't wear diapers in public if you're continent. You wouldn't like it if people wore buttplugs, or handcuffs, whatever, to public either. Diapers might not be as visable, but the idea of a fetish is that it is to do with sex. The only right place for sex is at home. At least that's what I think.

Take everything in this article with a pinch of salt, please. Not all my opinions are right, and not everything I say is true to anyone. Everyone is unique, let's keep it that way.

I can't really say there is much difference between a gay and a straight relationship, I mean, sure the body parts are a bit different, but there is love and commitment in both kinds, which is by far, the most important thing.

As it is a fetish to us, you should probably not go looking for someone with the same fetish as you have. Of course, it is easier on the both of you, and it makes you able to avoid a lot of embarrassment because you don't have to tell your other half about your fetish. But, face the facts, the chance you're going to find someone with the same fetish is small. It is not impossible, but it is small. You're far better off looking for a real love out there in the open world. And, as it is still a fetish, you're probably not intending to dive into someone's pants. When you're looking for love, don't think of sex as your top priority, hence, don't think of fetishes.

I found my first true love over 2 years ago. We're still together, and we're doing fine, we're happy together. We didn't like each other because we had anything in common. I mean, we have nothing in common at all! But, enough about us. The most important thing is that 6 months, or anything like that, is not enough to tell them about your deepest secrets. To trust someone completely you'll need more time and commitment than that. Of course, it's upto you to decide whether there's enough trust in your relationship to tell the other about your fetish. There is the possibility you feel confident after 6 months. Asking around on forums whether it's wise of you to tell the other secrets is silly and completely futile. I admit others can give you advice on how they did it and what the results were, but everyone is unique. How is someone on a forum supposed to know what's going on inside your relationship? They don't know, only you know. You're the only one that can make the right decision. I picked a wrong time once, it ended terribly, but I got myself out of it only to find out it was alright in the end. It's better to be an honest freak than a normal liar. Lying is never the answer.

Let me give you a hint about relationships. Not everything is about sex, I mean it. Fetishes are directly linked to sex and should be kept low. If you talk too much about your fetish to your love, they'll feel bad because it's the only thing you talk about. The same goes with sex. If diapers are all you want then the other will feel terrible. Make a compromise, find a good balance in your relationship. My love accepts my fetish and all my oddities, and I accept all the oddities and fetishes of my love as well. Whenever we talk about fetishes, it's both ways. Whenever we practice fetishes, each get their share in the game of love. Don't get dependent on your fetish, it's just an extra to your way of getting aroused, it is not the leader of your love life.

I hope this article helped you in some way or another. I've been wanting to type something like this for a long time. It's important for everyone to find love. And it's very important to get accepted by the love of your life. Hiding something is never an answer.

 

[Mr Alex]

Ima hit you with a stick.

Makes sense, seems like a good guide for life.

 

[redtails]

Ima hit you with a stick.

Makes sense, seems like a good guide for life.

hit me with a stick? XD That's upto you to decide , but thank you for agreeing with me, it's good to know that my way of life isn't considered wrong by others

 

[emomessiah]

I'd quite like it if everyone walked around with a buttplug

 

[redtails]

I'd quite like it if everyone walked around with a buttplug

XD well alright, but that's personal opinion!

 

[Mr Alex]

I have to un agree with you on one issue, wearing in public, if you don't make it obscenely obvious, or try to flaunt the fact your wearing in public, I don't see what would be wrong with it.

 

[redtails]

I have to un agree with you on one issue, wearing in public, if you don't make it obscenely obvious, or try to flaunt the fact your wearing in public, I don't see what would be wrong with it.

I guess if it's not obvious then it's alright. But anything else can lead to negative publicity on the news, as has happened before, where fetishists get called perverts for bringing their sexual stuff to the streets, you must agree with me at least that is wrong

 

[Trevor]

I guess if it's not obvious then it's alright. But anything else can lead to negative publicity on the news, as has happened before, where fetishists get called perverts for bringing their sexual stuff to the streets, you must agree with me at least that is wrong

I'd certainly agree about someone being obviously strange. However, it is possible for people to be observed wearing diapers in such a way as to not indicate anything other than need, which is really going to be the average person's first guess when seeing it. If you're not making it obvious you're weird, the first reaction isn't going to be "ack, whackjob fetishist!" it's going to be "wow, that person's incontinent- glad it's not me". Exhibitionism of even that mild kind doesn't do it for me, but I wouldn't expect any negative fallout from it, either.

 

[redtails]

I'd certainly agree about someone being obviously strange. However, it is possible for people to be observed wearing diapers in such a way as to not indicate anything other than need, which is really going to be the average person's first guess when seeing it. If you're not making it obvious you're weird, the first reaction isn't going to be "ack, whackjob fetishist!" it's going to be "wow, that person's incontinent- glad it's not me". Exhibitionism of even that mild kind doesn't do it for me, but I wouldn't expect any negative fallout from it, either.

That's the reason why I've written "if you're continent" huh! XD. As said in the previous post, wearing them to public is not essentially wrong if you're actually putting an effort into hiding them. Any incontinent person would try to hide them I think (although I may be wrong). So, we can conclude that people will probably respond badly to seeing an obvious diaper on a perfectly healthy person. Of course that's just my thought, yours can differ from mine. But as for my opinion, I think it's best to just keep your fetish to your own place, as it is just an extension to sexual stuff, no matter how innocent diapers look.

 

[Mr Alex]

where fetishists get called perverts for bringing their sexual stuff to the streets, you must agree with me at least that is wrong

Yes that is wrong. I agree muchly.

 

[EmeraldsAndLime]

What I mean, is that you really shouldn't wear diapers in public if you're continent. You wouldn't like it if people wore buttplugs, or handcuffs, whatever, to public either. Diapers might not be as visable, but the idea of a fetish is that it is to do with sex. The only right place for sex is at home. At least that's what I think.

I've worn diapers out in public - numerous times - and no one seemed to care. Probably because it didn't affect anyone else! Yes, diapers may be a sexual thing for me, but that doesn't mean it retracts from the thrill or excitement of wearing them out in public, which by the way, is the only reason I wear them out in public. I keep the sexual side of it at home.

Those other examples you gave are purely sexual items though. Designed and used for pleasure only, no emotional attachments. In that case, yes, they shouldn't be used in public. When something goes beyond sexual pleasure, into more deeper emotional places, then I don't see a problem with it. It's like a person wearing a collar out in public. Sure, there may be a sexual side to it for them, but speaking to people who I've known to do it, they do it as a symbol of constraint, silently speaking out against society.

I do agree with you when you say that fetishes have to do with sex. There's no doubt in my mind that that is true. But understand that in some instances they are more than that. That there are underlying, non-sexual attachments as well.

As for the rest of your post about relationships, you makes some good points. But I'm not very interested in having a relationship, so I'll just leave it at that.

 

[Lordluke]

Hi Guys

It always good to have trustworthy friends who care and look after each other, but a relationship in my mind is a step further, it a coming together of that trust/friendship and care which gives birth to love. That deep down wanting to be with someone, to do things for them, to hold and hugz and yes sex, where sex isnt just about getting off but trying to please the other person, in essence expressing ones love for them.

Wow deep and meaningful, but I guess that what a relationship means to me.

Cheers

Luke

 

[Gingy]

I like Asian girls! wooooo!

 

[Peachy]

I'd quite like it if everyone walked around with a buttplug

Too many people are full of sh*t as it is. No need to further add to that problem! Besides, I figure butt plugs hurt quite a bit.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts and ideas though, redtails. After so many people have had bad experiences with telling others - parents, friends, lovers - it's good to hear the other side of the story and to know that some people have had a good experience and decided to share with their significant others.

However, I'll still caution everyone to think well before telling, because redtail's situation may not be like your own. It may have helped that he and his love "don't have anything in common", so adding another thing (diapers) may be less of a big deal.

Peachy

 

[redtails]

Those other examples you gave are purely sexual items though. Designed and used for pleasure only, no emotional attachments. In that case, yes, they shouldn't be used in public. When something goes beyond sexual pleasure, into more deeper emotional places, then I don't see a problem with it. It's like a person wearing a collar out in public. Sure, there may be a sexual side to it for them, but speaking to people who I've known to do it, they do it as a symbol of constraint, silently speaking out against society.

I see now I was wrong about diapers only being linked to sexual pleasure. I mistaked the fact that, to some people, other from me, they are more than a fetish. There's not much emotion to them for me, but that's personal opinion I shall not intefere with

Hi Guys

It always good to have trustworthy friends who care and look after each other, but a relationship in my mind is a step further, it a coming together of that trust/friendship and care which gives birth to love. That deep down wanting to be with someone, to do things for them, to hold and hugz and yes sex, where sex isnt just about getting off but trying to please the other person, in essence expressing ones love for them.

it's good to see I sparked a bit of thinking Although I must say sex isn't the first thing I'll think of in a relationship, neither is anything physical, just start easy, with a talk and a drink that's all I'd do

Too many people are full of sh*t as it is. No need to further add to that problem! Besides, I figure butt plugs hurt quite a bit.
...
However, I'll still caution everyone to think well before telling, because redtail's situation may not be like your own. It may have helped that he and his love "don't have anything in common", so adding another thing (diapers) may be less of a big deal. Peachy

Haha that made me laugh a bit , at least someone can see the humor! And yes, I do agree with you, telling someone can be a quite tricky business. I must admit it's not that much of a thing to other people, as they just see it as a fetish of yours, but to us it can make the world turn the other way round if it's taken wrongly. Just be careful with saying such a thing, there's more behind it than just "adding another thing" as you've described it . But, isn't it natural for someone to look for a love not quite like yourself?

 

[Peachy]

But, isn't it natural for someone to look for a love not quite like yourself?

Sorry to go off on a tangeant here, but (as with the telling others-thing) that can go both ways. You can look for someone you have lots in common with, because then you have something to fall back on when things get rough. On the other hand, being involved with someone who's totally different from yourself can be very exciting on a daily basis, because you can both learn from each other and teach each other new stuff. Obviously, the potential for disagreement and thus arguments is larger. But, as they say: Opposites attract!

Peachy

 

[redtails]

Sorry to go off on a tangeant here, but (as with the telling others-thing) that can go both ways. You can look for someone you have lots in common with, because then you have something to fall back on when things get rough. On the other hand, being involved with someone who's totally different from yourself can be very exciting on a daily basis, because you can both learn from each other and teach each other new stuff. Obviously, the potential for disagreement and thus arguments is larger. But, as they say: Opposites attract!

Peachy

(Completely off topic but it's to do with relationships anyway), I believe one will get bored if you share everything. Would you rather be safe and boring, or wild and reckless..? I live just once, and during that one time I'd like to learn, see, and experience the most as possible. With "the most" I don't mean travelling around the world, or even having sex in 69 postures, but simply getting to know people not quite like myself, as everyone has a world within themselves filled with thoughts, opinions, whatnot. It's all personal opinion, but I'd rather talk all day (arguing some call it, to me it's discussing), than sit in front of the tv doing nothing. What do you think, peachy?

 

[Mr Alex]

I have to guess that I'm not JUST attracted to them sexually.

 

[g6s]

As we all strive closer and closer to answers, some of us are put on this earth to impede that process. I'm not being mean, I just think some of your ideas are really under-defined.

I know some people see it as a way of life, but to me, it is just a diaper fetish, just a fetish. And, seeing as it is a fetish, let us treat it like one .

here is your first mistake. not everyone has a fetish and is sexually attracted to diapers. there IS a difference between DL and *B. there is no opinion on this, meaning public wearing could just simply be an extension to a relaxing activity out in public. perfectly acceptable my book.

And, as it is still a fetish, you're probably not intending to dive into someone's pants. When you're looking for love, don't think of sex as your top priority, hence, don't think of fetishes.

again, being devil's advocate here. a fetish doesn't mean sex always anyways. I tell myself, "I have a diaper fetish," but that doesn't mean I don't enjoy an extremely healthy vanilla sex relationship: your generalizing a lot of things that only apply to a small few people within the community.

I found my first true love over 2 years ago. We're still together, and we're doing fine, we're happy together. We didn't like each other because we had anything in common.

out of curiosity, how old are you and how much experience do you have with love?

Asking around on forums whether it's wise of you to tell the other secrets is silly and completely futile.

this is an opinion and it sabotages one of the foundations of the forum, a place where someone can come and get advice for his or her problem. we do understand whats going on and can generally offer good advice based off of what someone tells us. everyone is unique, but we can assert situations based off of what we know about the people on the forums. of course the final decision is up to you: but let other list off pros and cons and explain what is a probably outcome.

It's better to be an honest freak than a normal liar. Lying is never the answer.

please, this is just simply not the case. if you need to lie to prevent yourself harm or ridicule then do it. no one should be subjected to any sort harassment or violence.

you've obviously put a lot of thought into this, and i hope everyone reads what you've written. it seems though, you've taken what your experiences and morals have taught you and put them in the form of the answer. lots of people disagree and posting all of your "answers" into one thread is not giving advice, it's telling someone how to do it.

 

[Eclipse]

Well a lot has said so I am just going to touch briefly on the stuff that has already been said but a little more extensively for things that have not been discussed as much.
1.) I also do agree with most people saying "it is okay to wear in public IF you do not make it obvious." Mainly because it is not effecting anyone else, unless your walking around in just a diaper and t-shirt going for a walk then thats a totally different story haha! There are people who do that but I assure you very few do that.
2.) Diapers are defiantly a fetish I totally agree with that, which makes it part of sexual activity, no doubt. Although I noticed you did correct yourself redtails, there are several attributes to diapers that are non sexual. For example for myself and I know many others when I put on a diaper I get this snse of relaxtion and maybe a slight euphoria. Kind of takes me away from reality and keeps me sane in a sense.
3.) You said exactly "Would you rather be safe, and boring, or wild and reckless..?" Well with what you are reffering to (diapers in relationships I think is what is being reffered), I would rather be safe, and wild! Although not boring because like you said we only live once, and not reckless cause because it would be dumb to kill yourself or relationships from being reckless. Anyways my point is I absolutely refuse to marry a girl who do not at least accept my diaper fetish, hopefully one that enjoys it too (even though that second one is pretty unlikely, unless I turn her onto it, which is possible cause I have done that before). Like you said we only live once so I do not want to have a wife or even a long term relationship with a girl I can not enjoy myself sexually with. I want to be able to do what I enjoy cause I only get one life. If I had a girl who did not at least accept and participate in my fetishes, I would be a very unhappy and angry man haha.

I hope this clears some things up, but I want you to know I do respect your opinions. Although I beleive some of your opinions my change slightly after spending some time here and getting to know the community as a whole.