Relationships and Taboo?

[diaperedteenager]

My main point that I am getting at here is why are diapers considered taboo in relationships? You could know everything about this other that you are in love with and when you say "Honey...I like to wear diapers" it is like "bye bye, you sick fuck"! You think wait a minuted 5 years of construction just came down in flames in a matter of 2 seconds.

So, why are not just diapers but fetishes that we aren't framiliar with in general shunned by others? We are, from what I assume mostly are of European disent on this forum. Europeans were colonizers and Imperialists when most of our ancesters immagrated away from those countires. It is in our blood! If we discover someone fethish, why not explore it? The British found out about the magic of India, what did they do??? It qas there goal to take it into their control, by any means possible. Why aren't humans like that towards fetishes? That fetish of the one you love could open a whole nother world to you, you must explore it and discover the resources of it so you can send it back to the "mother country"= your mind the resources that it offers to offer you intrestment and happiness.

That POV that I presented is VERY Euro-Centric, but Eurocentricism is in our blood. Why don't we look at our others fetish as something to explore rather than liquidate?

 

[Mesmerale]

Awesome.

Well, I'd say that it's because we're very centered around conformity.

So, even though exploring is in our blood, we don't want to do it unless we're all exploring together, otherwise, it's just too embarrassing.

 

[Maverick]

Well, most people don't wear diapers for comfort or sexual gratification, so it's hard for most people to overlook that factor in another person, particularly if you have a close relationship with that person. Diapers resemble babies and small children, so it's often mistaken for pedophilia; and even when it's been acknowledged that it's not pedophilia, it still seems sketchy and eerily similar to pedophilia. Additionally, the thought of someone pissing/shitting himself is, to most people, disgusting. Also, many people would prefer that their partner have no sexual fetishes or deviations from the norm. A lot of people would like to have a person who's just into sex; certainly not a partner that doesn't take enjoyment from wearing diapers.

 

[h3g3l]

My main point that I am getting at here is why are diapers considered taboo in relationships? You could know everything about this other that you are in love with and when you say "Honey...I like to wear diapers" it is like "bye bye, you sick fuck"! You think wait a minuted 5 years of construction just came down in flames in a matter of 2 seconds.

...

So, why are not just diapers but fetishes that we aren't framiliar with in general shunned by others?

1. I don't think that diapers are considered taboo in functional, supportive, quality relationships.
2. If one partner puts anything above the well-being and functionality of the relationship and its contents, there will be ramifications. There is a spectrum of "exposure" and "use" to contend with here, as I've gone into in another post outlining the far-edge of this scale, paraphilias involving DL and Infantilism.
3. Liking diapers in itself is not normal behavior that we're exposed to, and there is no "social script" that anyone can follow regarding it. It's hard to "deal with" or otherwise wrap thinking around.
4. As mentioned above by Maverick, it always gets sketchy when sexuality and bodily functions are mixed.
5. If your partner doesn't know this about you after 5 years in a committed relationship, then it demonstrates successful deception.

 

[Talula]

I think if someone is in a supportive and healthy sexual relationship, then something like that shouldnt matter. Fair enough if the other person turns around and says 'hey no sorry that's really just not for me'. It's ok to not share other people's fettishes, it only becomes a problem if either diaperfettish partner cannot be in a sexual relationship without diapers playing a key role, or if nondiaperfettish partner refuses to allow the other anything to do with diapers.

In my opinion, partners should allow their other half freedom to explore as they wish, without restricting them, and should only step in if it becomes harmful to theirs or others health.

 

[HuskyRye]

Yes, agreeing with a lot of the posts on here, if one's in an understanding, supportive relationship, you won't be dumped just because you like to wear diapers occasionally. Granted some people aren't into diapers as much as we are, but you don't always have to go sharing your fetishes with other people. There are some people who cannot understand but accept our diaper wearing, then there are those who refuse to accept our diaper wearing and therefore shun us away from them.

 

[MixyNyxi]

Tsk...

Okay, I don't think this is a relationship issue. This happens all over the place. So permit me to rag on the entire human race a moment :badday:

Human beings are, as a whole, conformist, social beings. We are social, and we hate to go against the social majority for fear of offending it and being ostracized. Their social world is the one they were raised in, many times. This is often an unconscious action, I assume. It's the reason so many people are closed minded about things. Not just fetishes, but everything. I've known people who are totally different one on one than in a group. They change completely to "fit in".

Humans are big on first impressions. They don't care to understand things, and once they form an initial impression of something, it's very hard to break. For instance, they see a person walking down the street in all black with clothes that aren't "normal". Instantly, this person is someone to stay away from; a scary, messed up, suicidal, evil thing. Why? Because they aren't "normal". They aren't status quo. Some might want to understand, but many don't care to and won't listen if you try. Stubbornness and an arrogant assumption that your way of thinking is right is a very human quality.

I don't know if I would consider most humans explorers. More often than not, people seem comfortable with the Status Quo. New things scare many people. Not all, mind you, but many. Things humans don't understand are wrong. If one person is courageous enough to do the exploring for everyone else and finds something wonderful, maybe the other people will come around if that person is respected enough. I think alot of it comes from the "grass is always greener" type thing. Life is always better somewhere else. But that's another issue...sorry.

Yes, humans like to do thing in packs, like wolves. It's very hard for one person to stand alone. Like I said before, this can be an often unconscious thought that reaches into many aspects of life. Since diapers are very much a no-no for anyone over 3ish, unless you had a VERY open-minded partner, it's never going to be instantly ok. Breaking through a pre-held societal taboo can be tough...but as other people have said, being in a supportive and loving relationship helps a bit.

The USA, for one (since I live here, can't comment on other countries), is all about saying how supportive it is of everything. Oh, everyone is equal and respected here! Hurray! Let's dance and sing togetherness songs!

Oh wait, no. It's not like that at all. The USA is very conservative (in general. I know many pockets of liberalism exist). Maybe it's just that the conservative voice is the loudest, but being different is a bad thing in many areas of the country. Social conformity is held in high regard here.

Basically, not many people outside the community will understand it. It will always take explaining. It just depends on who is willing to listen and who is a close-minded moron. It's funny how taboo's have such a strong effect on people. I'm willing to bet that many people would rather forgive someone for cheating on them than forgive them for wanting to wear diapers. Cheating is very very wrong, but it happens often. I don't think it's considered a "taboo" anymore, which is sick in and of itself (that's the ultimate no in my book).

I have no problem with you if you are just ignorant. But if you walk through life with your fingers in your ears, humming to keep out everything that doesn't mesh with your way of thinking, I have a big problem with that. This doesn't mean I expect everyone to agree with me. Of course not, I don't think I'm right all the time. But don't simply refuse to listen. That is what makes you a moron, not a lack of knowledge about a subject.

*climbs back down from :soapbox:*

 

[ade]

i think it's best to always remember what ab/dl-ism means to most people: omg! they get turned on by children's underwear!
consider the implications; for you, for them and your position amongst them.

 

[Trevor]

i think it's best to always remember what ab/dl-ism means to most people: omg! they get turned on by children's underwear!
consider the implications; for you, for them and your position amongst them.

Reading this made me wonder if there is anyone out there looking at this from the other direction, namely they're not "adult babies" but groove instead on the notion of being old and requiring care. It seems unlikely, but considering that almost anything you can think of gets someone off in some way, perhaps there are a few out there who fantasize about being old and infirm. Maybe it's just too dull a fantasy in that it's something that many of us will actually get to experience instead of having an impossible urge to return to something that was.

 

[FoXPuP]

i told my girlfriend, she thought it was adorable. i was shocked, i thought she'd leave me, but she's known for a year now. she doesnt want to participate, since it isnt her thing, but doesnt mind if we're together and im in just diapers, or i talk about it.
i guess it depends on how deep the love is, and how accepting the girl/guy is. the first girl i told, she got into it and ended up breaking up with me BECAUSE i didnt roll play as her daddy, so go figure XD

 

[Motorbreath]

I mostly agree with you, but then again, some people are not familiar with this, with no explanation whatsoever, really. I find myself, the fetishist, carrying this weight along with my relationship and name; telling this to my parents was normal because they are supposed to accept me by who I am, but my girlfriend is another story.

 

[h3g3l]

I'm willing to bet that many people would rather forgive someone for cheating on them than forgive them for wanting to wear diapers. Cheating is very very wrong, but it happens often. I don't think it's considered a "taboo" anymore, which is sick in and of itself (that's the ultimate no in my book).

You're likely correct here.

As for me, cheating is the ultimate and unforgivable thing that someone could do in a relationship. It shows deception, disinterest, denial, and a willingness to continue to get benefits from the relationship without earning them.

I'm usually a really reserved person IRL, but 11-12 years ago, I had a fiance who decided that she'd like to cheat on me with my roommate. That pretty much untied my lips and allowed me to spell things out very clearly for her as I was moving my stuff out. It was also entertaining that she went down a certain road - the road women will go down when they want to hurt men ("I faked it every time!") ... I picked up her sheets and told her, "here, these are yours - covered in you 'faking it'" and threw them at her.

Good times.

I know that no one on the board really knows me IRL, so it is difficult to gain an appreciation here. But take it on faith that when I'm truly upset, I don't yell or scream or whatever, but become very quiet and direct. I was so especially pleased that I was able to tell her exactly how I felt (mainly that they deserved each other and I would drop down on my knees and thank God every day that they got together) and the subsequent kid, civil (and criminal) judgements, and divorce that they went through just made it that much more delicious to look back from the sidelines.

So, yes, I'd agree that cheating is about the worst thing that someone can do to another person. I don't "get" the whole "open relationship" thing, but I take that as a sign of the permissiveness in this society surrounding cheating. Not with me, though - The Logic Bunny has no patience or forgiveness for it.
:twocents::twocents::twocents:

 

[diaperedteenager]

The response that I am reading from most people is that fetishes to others are weird, scarry, and unknown "lands" So was Central America in 1518 to Cortes and his men. They didn't go "Eww this is a sick twisted place, good bye"! They set out to find its' secrets and explore the land.

What I am saying here is that The majority being Europeans, we at one point in or past have had a relative go to some far off distant land. Exploration and curiosity is in our blood and minds. So, how come when it comes to fetishes it is disgusting? It is no different than The Aztec Empire or the Heart Land of Africa.

 

[ade]

Reading this made me wonder if there is anyone out there looking at this from the other direction, namely they're not "adult babies" but groove instead on the notion of being old and requiring care.

nearly, but not quite: when i was younger, although i didn't want to grow up, i couldn't wait to get old and then all the b/s and expectations of youthdom and young adulthood wouldn't apply........so that i could just be who i was without the social expectations associated with being an 'age'.
i didn't wank about, though.

as for exploration, the examples so far given are more to do with exploitation and the extermination of the undesirable.
if you quite fancied your own body but didn't like a certain part of it, but would then destroy that part?
the thing about a fetish or even a fixation is that, for at least a portion of time, you like the fetish. and there's a mutuality about it as you serve the fetish and fetish serves you. but in comparison with how euorpeans invaded the americas, and i'm skipping all the puns about bondage, i think there's a lack of parity and mutality in the relationship between the europeans and the native americans on many levels and is thus, exploitation; and that the bulk of exploration was only due to the potential for exploitation of the land.
but, if a fetish were to become all-consuming and obsessive, thereby the fetish being dominant and probably requiring the attention of mental health workers, then the analogy draws closer. :twocents:

 

[babyrichard82]

Personally, I'm in a relationship and it breaks my heart that i have to keep my AB/DL side to myself

I suppose with regards to kinks and fettishes (Which strangely i don't consider ab/dl to be!) i'm lucky because my partner is very open minded to the more 'Common' ones!

It's awful though to have to hide something from someone you love - simply because you know they wouldn't accept it.

That's why i'm always going around the 'Binge and purge' cycle.