Relationship help?

WifeyK

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So I'm not an AB, my husband is. I'm fine with it. That's not to say it's all been roses, but I love him with all my heart.

We've gone through a tough time recently. One of the things that was brought up is he needs to feel supported in his AB lifestyle (he is 24/7). While I have no problem with it, I don't really participate much beyond calling him baby or the occasional pat on how bottom.

I'm looking for tips or advice on waiting I can make him feel "little" or loved and supported. I honestly have no idea where to begin. We've watched cartoons together in the past, I'd like to do that again. Are there any tips anyone might have for things to do, or things to say? He does like light humiliation, maybe some in public (trying to be deliberately vague, I'm sure he's on here and want to surprise him).

Are there other things that make you feel "little" or special? Things I could try at home, or in public? I love this man, and for to bring this up, it's something he really needs from me. I need to figure out how to make it work for both of us. Any help or advice would be appreciated. I just want him to know he's loved.
 

Electrically

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Adult Baby
So I'm not an AB, my husband is. I'm fine with it. That's not to say it's all been roses, but I love him with all my heart.

We've gone through a tough time recently. One of the things that was brought up is he needs to feel supported in his AB lifestyle (he is 24/7). While I have no problem with it, I don't really participate much beyond calling him baby or the occasional pat on how bottom.

I'm looking for tips or advice on waiting I can make him feel "little" or loved and supported. I honestly have no idea where to begin. We've watched cartoons together in the past, I'd like to do that again. Are there any tips anyone might have for things to do, or things to say? He does like light humiliation, maybe some in public (trying to be deliberately vague, I'm sure he's on here and want to surprise him).

Are there other things that make you feel "little" or special? Things I could try at home, or in public? I love this man, and for to bring this up, it's something he really needs from me. I need to figure out how to make it work for both of us. Any help or advice would be appreciated. I just want him to know he's loved.
I am in a similar situation however I’m the husband that likes to be treated that way.
I really admire you for trying to find a comfort level with his fantasy.
I understand why you wouldn’t feel like it it’s too sexy
However I thought to give you some pointers of what I feel like is good. It is better to really have a serious conversation about it with your husband. Even though we are all on this site and our interests are similar there are quite a few differences in our actual desires
By you finding out what he actually really likes particularly hopefully you can find a comfort level and some of those things.
he also hast to realize that you will have limits what you Will do. he also has to what and allow you to feel comfortable with your relationship.
I believe it is extremely complicated and I know My psyche is very fragile towards the matter. So take your time and discuss often how the different activities make you both feel.

And I believe I’m saying this for many of us thank you so much for trying to understand
 

WifeyK

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Understanding is kind of what I do. I'm a very non-judgemental person.

We have talked in the past, and honestly, he wants me to find my own comfort levels with everything and have me lists of forums. This is the first time I've ever pasted or made an account on one. I know that ultimately, it's going to be up to me (and him) where the levels are, I'm just looking for some starter points, I guess? I think he doesn't want me to feel pressured into anything so he wants me to explore on my own. I just have no idea where to even begin. Thanks for the feedback!
 

Electrically

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Understanding is kind of what I do. I'm a very non-judgemental person.

We have talked in the past, and honestly, he wants me to find my own comfort levels with everything and have me lists of forums. This is the first time I've ever pasted or made an account on one. I know that ultimately, it's going to be up to me (and him) where the levels are, I'm just looking for some starter points, I guess? I think he doesn't want me to feel pressured into anything so he wants me to explore on my own. I just have no idea where to even begin. Thanks for the feedback!
Having conversations often helps the comfort level.
A few things I know I would really like if my wife did would be to buy me a nice set of Footy pajamas or some kind of clothing that isn’t too uncomfortable for either of us.
I really like the idea of her bottlefeeding me but I can understand how that might be a little too far for some people.
I like to be swaddled so bottle or no bottle that is always nice.

Also I don’t want to ruin anybody’s life style.
going 24/7 I think acting like a one or two-year-old probably is not healthy for any relationship.
it might not be a bad idea to gently encourage him to have adult time with you. That doesn’t mean he hast to diapered or not but to just have a mature conversation.
as much as I would love to actually be one or two years old I’m not in as much as I would like my wife to be my mommy she’s not.
realistically a mothers goal is to see her children grow up
It’s a fantasy
 

Electrically

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Adult Baby
Having conversations often helps the comfort level.
A few things I know I would really like if my wife did would be to buy me a nice set of Footy pajamas or some kind of clothing that isn’t too uncomfortable for either of us.
I really like the idea of her bottlefeeding me but I can understand how that might be a little too far for some people.
I like to be swaddled so bottle or no bottle that is always nice.

Also I don’t want to ruin anybody’s life style.
going 24/7 I think acting like a one or two-year-old probably is not healthy for any relationship.
it might not be a bad idea to gently encourage him to have adult time with you. That doesn’t mean he hast to diapered or not but to just have a mature conversation.
as much as I would love to actually be one or two years old I’m not in as much as I would like my wife to be my mommy she’s not.
realistically a mothers goal is to see her children grow up
It’s a fantasy
Also the forum list are quite broad and sometimes too extreme.
Everyone is different and I understand conversations can be uncomfortable. It is better to have him try to explain how he wants to feel.
it is hard. It might take a long time. Baby steps
And sometimes setbacks but hopefully you have time.
also maybe read some stories. Or ask him what stories he likes. Sometimes discussing what he likes about different stories can help understand where his fantasy is at. And i’m often impressed with the writing ability, details and characters.
But there is a lot out there and some are sad depressing and insane.
 

PCBaby

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if you are ok with him wearing 24/7 then that is a great first step.
what you need to do is have an adult to adult talk, find out what he would like to do, for instance does he use his nappies or just wear them? If he wets them you could perhaps surprise him one day by changing him and putting him in dry nappy. Cuddles are good, i love having my hair stroked with my head on my fiancee/mummies lap.

So find out what he wants and then talk about what you expect in return and what you are and aren't prepared to do for or with him.

1, Does he want too use his nappy instead of the toilet? that is a big step and changing a messy adult nappy and clean up is very different from changing a real baby

2, does he want you to be his mummy or carer?

3. does he want bottles and dummies (pacifiers)? and does he want you to feed him either with a bottle or spoon feeding?

4, does he want to dress as a baby, things like sleep suits, rompers onesies etc and if so does he want you to dress/undress him?

5, if he wears his nappy under normal clothes when you are out together does he want you to check his nappy or indulge in light humiliation such as being taken down the baby aisle in a supermarket and being made to choose something like a new dummy, or one of the small towelling animals you can get that act as a sort of "sucky" blanket. Instead of having his nappies delivered, go to a store that sells adult nappies and make sure the assistant knows who they are for and make him carry them back to the care or home without a bag to carry them in. Make a big thing of getting him a changing bag, show him what you're putting in it and make sure you always have it with you. Carry a dummy in your purse and provided it's fairly private make him use it. If you can find somewhere secluded enough and he is wet, change him on the back seat of the car or a very well hidden forest or even beach. If he does want humiliation you could always remind him that "mummy knows best" Go to a McDonald and get him a child meal to eat in, when he's done wipe his mouth off. If he is really into humiliation and you have a female friend that you can trust completely invite her over for coffee without telling him, make sure he is wet and then when she comes over you can say something like "I just need to check th baby, make him come over to you, pull his trousers down slightly so his nappy is obvious and do a nappy check, if you really want to humiliate him and he's up for it, change him in front of her with him lying down on a changing mat, get her to pass you his fresh nappy or the nappy cream or powder, when he's been changed don't put his trousers back on *just in case".

6. A big question, does he want to be a baby boy or a baby girl and could you cope with that, I'm not talking about a sissy which is somewhat different, but you can get onesies that have a short skirt attached, waterproof pants in different colours and with frills on.

things that can help him feel little, all of the above, terms of endearment like baby boy, my little bot, my little one. Feeding him a bottle while cradling him, nappy changes with lots of baby talk, bedtime stories (for children). Go to build a bear and let him choose his own soft toy. Afternoon naps with his teddy bear and a dummy in his mouth. Set a day a week where he can be your baby for 24 hours. But it doesn't have to be an all day thing find an odd hour when you are home, bathe him using a child shampoo and make sure there are things like ducks or boats in the bath to play with. Just check his nappy, you can either insert a couple of fingers just inside the top of the nappy or through one of the leg cuffs. If he's dry tell him what a good baby he is, if he's wet then use age appropriate language such as "oh has my poor baby done a wee wee, mummy willl take care of it" and continue the bay talk while changing him. there are so many things that can be done in a short time that will help him feel special and little and in return you will get undying love and loyalty. Basically if you can think of something that you would do to or for a baby and the language you would use with a baby, do the same for him. give him a more juvenile name so let's say frankie instead of frank.

I hope that gives you something to consider.
 

WifeyK

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Thanks! I guess maybe I was being a little too vague in my post, but those are all good ideas.

He's been 24/7, not using the toilet at all, since 2014. I've tried with changing him in the past before he went 24/7 (or just putting him a diaper) but that's not really my thing. He does have footies, bottles, and a sucky. The public humiliation bit (like McDonalds) it's a great idea, I'll have to try that. I can definitely do the bottle feeding, no problem. I guess I was looking for little gestures in both public and private, and these are good places to start.

Also, on reflection, I really do need to talk to him more about this. I do think he hasn't wanted to bring it up and he's put it all on my shoulders because of his past relationship experiences, and he doesn't want to pressure me. But I do need more information from him. We are going out to dinner this weekend, I think that would be a great time to talk about all of this (in public 😉) and see what we come up with. I also think that I may broach something I had thought about years ago, but never did because of past medical concerns that are resolved now. I've been looking up ANR, and honestly, it really appeals to me. It may be a good fit for us.
 

PCBaby

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If I might make a suggestion don't hold this conversation when you are out dining, do it at home where you are both going to be more relaxed about things and where it's also safe for him to open up. I'm medically incontinent and became an ab too help me cope with that and other things that happened in my life, but even now some 52 after certain events took place talking about it and my need to be a bay or 2 year old again is very painful and it may be very difficult for your husband..

As far as changing him goes, provided you don't mind a wet nappy you could do this once in a while as a "treat" or occasionally after breast feeding.

As far as ANR goes there are two ways to go about it, one is to take hormones to induce lactation but your Doctor won't prescribe them and buying off the internet is inherently dangerous, as is using the hormones yourself as they can cause some nasty things including breast cancer. The safest way is to go out and buy a breast pump. In the meantime get your husband used to sucking on a bottle with a larger teat than a baby uses or if you can't find one at least get the biggest you can, if you can find a bottle with a NUK 5 teat that would be ideal. It takes time for an adult to relearn to latch on to a nipple (it's something we all lose around the ages of 11 to13), You can use ordinary cow's milk in it (warm) or formula or even juice but milk of some kind will be best. At the same time set apart a time of day, evening or before bed where you can both relax, But yourself a well fitting nursing bra and then have him face you so you can support his head, get him curled up nicely on the couch, undo your blouse or raise your top and allow him to suckle for about 15-20 mins on each breast as this will A, help you start lactating especially combined with a breast pump and B, help him learn how to suckle properly. Unless he has practiced this his natural tendency will be the equivalent of foreplay. Light manual stimulation of your breasts will also help start lactation. He can do this while you suckle him, by just gently squeezing the breast he's not suckling on or even just holding his hand on it ( which is what babies tend to do. This is a slower method than hormones but totally safe for you. Remember to infantalize his name and use it as much as possible inside and out, and discreet nappy checks while you are out which can simply be resting your hand on his bottom for a few seconds, or if you are sat side by side in a coffee shop or restaurant with a table covering what you are doing you can also place your hand on his groin area and give a very gentle squeeze, you will soon be able to tell if he's wet or soiled just by touch alone,then depending on what you feel, you can either tell him (quietly) that he's a good boy for being dry or clean or he;s mummies good boy for using his diaper or doing a wee wee in his diaper or things like "did baby make a poo/poop in his diapers.didees etc). or if out and about you can ask things like " Does baby need potty" (even if he doesn't use the toilet. If talking to him about toilets it's always potty for him, but if you need to go then something like "mummy needs to go to the toilet you be a good boy/baby and wait here". If you find the smell offensive when he does mess his nappy go to a natural health shop or look on the internet for Chlorophyll tablets (for humans) if he takes those on a regular basis it will help with the smell (but warn him it might turn his poo green!). you can also get plain coloured onesies which you could make him use whilst out and about. At home put him in a pair of mittens (thumb no fingers or complete mittens that don't have a thumb) this will make it harder for him to do things for himself and further embarrass or slightly humiliate him. At home and perhaps occasionally while dining out, cut his food up for him, or (assuming it can be eaten using fingers only-and only at home), cut his food up and just give it to him in a suitable babyish feeding bowl without knifes and forks, make sure he use a bib at every meal if possible and always make sure you wash his mouth and face after a meal even if he hasn't got anything on it, this will all make him feel that little bit more childish.. Whatever happens I wish you good luck. and please let us know how things go.
 

WifeyK

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Thanks again! I'll discuss it on the drive down instead of the restaurant. Good advice. And I will keep everyone posted.
 
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