Regression and when it happens

Chloris

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I'm sorry but i just needed to ask.
Does anyone else have moments, when they regress in public.

For context I work behind a bar, and I'm also looking for a new security placement.
But while working I always try to keep myself composed and professional.

But I have had times. Both on and off work. That I've slipped without realising.

Nothing big. But it's been noticed (speech patterns, more prone to joy or sadness. E.c.t)

Now, luckily my current job accepts it, (they put it down to either my b.p.d or me just being "quirky ") Same as they do my epilepsy.. but it can get worrisome when co-workers or customers say something 🤔
 
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Chloris said:
I'm sorry but i just needed to ask.
Does anyone else have moments, when they regress in public.

For context I work behind a bar, and I'm also looking for a new security placement.
But while working I always try to keep myself composed and professional.

But I have had times. Both on and off work. That I've slipped without realising.

Nothing big. But it's been noticed (speech patterns, more prone to joy or sadness. E.c.t)

Now, luckily my current job accepts it, (they put it down to either my b.p.d or me just being "quirky ") Same as they do my epilepsy.. but it can get worrisome when co-workers or customers say something 🤔
Hey there, and hell yeah, it’s both awesome and scary af at the same time. I am almost always aware that this is happening, and depending on the circumstances, and how confident my big self feels, I will let my little self just hang fully in the now. The feeling is extraordinary, every part of me feels different, in some ways more alive. I know that if my adult self let go, I would fully dissolve into little me (that’s the bit that I hate, because something so deep at the core of me would never let that happen….it’s fear of discovery I guess) As far as others being aware, I have certainly had people say things like “you’re such a toddler sometimes” how lucky we can laugh that one off.
 
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ozbub said:
Hey there, and hell yeah, it’s both awesome and scary af at the same time. I am almost always aware that this is happening, and depending on the circumstances, and how confident my big self feels, I will let my little self just hang fully in the now. The feeling is extraordinary, every part of me feels different, in some ways more alive. I know that if my adult self let go, I would fully dissolve into little me (that’s the bit that I hate, because something so deep at the core of me would never let that happen….it’s fear of discovery I guess) As far as others being aware, I have certainly had people say things like “you’re such a toddler sometimes” how lucky we can laugh that one off.
Yeah I agree.. its sometimes great when your little side comes out, especially if coworkers "unconsciously" let theirs out too.. (like a fun song playing and all the staff just join in).. but being in a (lesser but still) leadership role.. it gets worrisome at times
 
Chloris said:
I'm sorry but i just needed to ask.
Does anyone else have moments, when they regress in public.

For context I work behind a bar, and I'm also looking for a new security placement.
But while working I always try to keep myself composed and professional.

But I have had times. Both on and off work. That I've slipped without realising.

Nothing big. But it's been noticed (speech patterns, more prone to joy or sadness. E.c.t)

Now, luckily my current job accepts it, (they put it down to either my b.p.d or me just being "quirky ") Same as they do my epilepsy.. but it can get worrisome when co-workers or customers say something 🤔
Hay.

I call it leaking out whar my Little side leaks out when I'm trying to be adult.
 
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All the time if I'm around little kids. I just instantly melt and shtart twaking lik dish and just being incredibly happy and shnuggly and care free and playful. 🥰

Everybody IRL knows I'm a kid magnet, love Nintendo stuff, and dress playful. 😆

Aside from that I'm pretty good about keeping my scary piss off adult facade up. It's a little harder though since I stopped shaving my head and let my hair grow out and its almost in my eyes kid style. 🥹

Kids are perfect cover to be myself in front of everyone and nobody suspects a thing! 😂

Lol I was running a boat load of errands today in my bright red Ash and Pikachu Pokemon shirt and color block LEGO shoes today, blasting metal from a 600 HP Cadillac. Had like 4 diff adults say they love my shirt. One dude behind a counter said it and smiled and pulled a foot up to show me a Charmander tattoo on his ankle. 🤣🤭

Made my day. I love proudly and confidently walking around like a grade schooler dressed in primary colors and Pokemon and color block Super Mario stuff as a grown 6 foot 200 lb man giving zero fux. Nobody dares say anything negative if anyone is even thinking it. I detest faux bravado and machisimo, I gave that nonsense up when I turned 21 and started carrying 21st century ranged weapons.

Or if my 5-6 mph normal walking pace breathing through my nose shows Im in shape and mean business even if I'm a little squishy right now. I think if anyone had anything negative to say they know to hold their tongue. 😁

I doubt it though, as anyone my age is Nintendo generation, and I don't really care what some little new gen tough guy wanna be punk ass in a NFL/NBA jersey thinks.

If any random stranger ever dared speak the words 'grow up' to me I'd loudly counter with something about 6 figure sr engineer at fortune 500 company with a maxed out 401k and ask them how they are doing? Don't ever f&#$%@# tell me to grow up, I'll do whatever the $&^#@ I want. Don't mess with a confident secure man with nothing to prove, just let sleeping dogs lie.

When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up.
C.S. Lewis
 
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I have started to cry outside of my little time. A couple of days ago I was late for a meeting and lost my way. I started crying in the street. People noticed and an old lady asked if I was ok. Managed to stop it but it was clearly my little reaction coming out
 
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BabyLouise said:
I have started to cry outside of my little time. A couple of days ago I was late for a meeting and lost my way. I started crying in the street. People noticed and an old lady asked if I was ok. Managed to stop it but it was clearly my little reaction coming out
Aww 🥺🥹
 
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Yes. I have almost no general public contact at work thank god, but when people do come to the window I hide. Like a scared toddler I go and hide somewhere. I'm also very fond of ring pops at work as they are a socially acceptable pacifier. And when people say stuff like "nice pacifier" I play it off like "yeah, its really soothing, I see why babies like them".

Or another time at work where we were getting food at a lunch-in and an older woman was getting food and I stuck out my plate and she was like "oh, you like it when I do it for you" and I just kind of shook my head in agreement in an infantile way.

Before I revealed to my ex about the AB stuff, I would kind of talk baby talk to her when I wanted a drink that was out of reach to me. Like not using words, but like infant grunts or something. After she gave it to me she would be like "its crazy I knew exactly what you wanted" and In my head I wanted to say "that's because you are a good mommy" but that came later.

I'm sure there's more, but that's what's come to mind so far. I'm enjoy "playing around" in society. It keeps people guessing and lets me play around expressing the younger side.
 
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LittleAndAlone said:
All the time if I'm around little kids. I just instantly melt and shtart twaking lik dish and just being incredibly happy and shnuggly and care free and playful. 🥰

Everybody IRL knows I'm a kid magnet, love Nintendo stuff, and dress playful. 😆

Aside from that I'm pretty good about keeping my scary piss off adult facade up. It's a little harder though since I stopped shaving my head and let my hair grow out and its almost in my eyes kid style. 🥹

Kids are perfect cover to be myself in front of everyone and nobody suspects a thing! 😂

Lol I was running a boat load of errands today in my bright red Ash and Pikachu Pokemon shirt and color block LEGO shoes today, blasting metal from a 600 HP Cadillac. Had like 4 diff adults say they love my shirt. One dude behind a counter said it and smiled and pulled a foot up to show me a Charmander tattoo on his ankle. 🤣🤭

Made my day. I love proudly and confidently walking around like a grade schooler dressed in primary colors and Pokemon and color block Super Mario stuff as a grown 6 foot 200 lb man giving zero fux. Nobody dares say anything negative if anyone is even thinking it. I detest faux bravado and machisimo, I gave that nonsense up when I turned 21 and started carrying 21st century ranged weapons.

Or if my 5-6 mph normal walking pace breathing through my nose shows Im in shape and mean business even if I'm a little squishy right now. I think if anyone had anything negative to say they know to hold their tongue. 😁

I doubt it though, as anyone my age is Nintendo generation, and I don't really care what some little new gen tough guy wanna be punk ass in a NFL/NBA jersey thinks.

If any random stranger ever dared speak the words 'grow up' to me I'd loudly counter with something about 6 figure sr engineer at fortune 500 company with a maxed out 401k and ask them how they are doing? Don't ever f&#$%@# tell me to grow up, I'll do whatever the $&^#@ I want. Don't mess with a confident secure man with nothing to prove, just let sleeping dogs lie.

When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up.
C.S. Lewis
If I'm around kids my little side is right there. A number of my friends kids call me big brother because of this.
Unfortunately, because of my work the "strong person" facade does have to go on.. even tho I'm 6'2" I'm only about 130lbs so it takes a lot when working a door..
I don't own any bright colours clothing, I mainly dress in black. But I do get shirts with silly puns that make me giggle.

Nice C.S Lewis. Reference..👍
 
Mine is ever present, lurking just below the surface. Big me is fake me, it's like a costume I wear, so the people at the liquor store will sell me beer, and people won't question why I'm driving all by myself lol. I never miss an opportunity to play, or be curious. I rescued a earthworm from the sidewalk today and watched it for a bit in the grass. Never really grew up, just got bigger.
 
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Chloris said:
I'm sorry but i just needed to ask.
Does anyone else have moments, when they regress in public.

For context I work behind a bar, and I'm also looking for a new security placement.
But while working I always try to keep myself composed and professional.

But I have had times. Both on and off work. That I've slipped without realising.

Nothing big. But it's been noticed (speech patterns, more prone to joy or sadness. E.c.t)

Now, luckily my current job accepts it, (they put it down to either my b.p.d or me just being "quirky ") Same as they do my epilepsy.. but it can get worrisome when co-workers or customers say something 🤔
Hi! I can share my experiences if you’d like - for me I work for handling food. I hand it out- I don’t want to say where I work. So in these times I would sometimes regress it depends, sometimes it happens when my bladder decides to just release itself without me. I normally end up playing around with what ever is in front of me, or I hum or I just wiggle my fingers and do a little dance that gets peoples attention and they dance along with me sometimes even tho there’s no music. No without work, I’ve definitely 💯 done it in a movie theater and in target. For the theater - I’m 4’11 for my height so I’m often mistaken for a kid so it kinda helps in this scenario. I was sitting behind a tall Man, I couldn’t see over his head. So I couldn’t move but I did know there’s “kid seats” granted I know I’m old and shouldn’t use it but I wanted to see. They have a lot to so I thought it was fine. And that had me somewhat regress during the movie but I was already regressed. Sorry if this isn’t even relevant.
 
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I'm trying to give my little side permission to express itself more in big life.

It's a new process and I'm going in blind so I'm not really able to put it all into words yet.

The most obvious aspect of this attitude change is that I am now viewing little slips as victories rather than failures of composure.

It can be a bit scary sometimes but it's also exciting to be making a change and seeing that it can be acceptable is tremendously validating.
 
Chloris said:
Does anyone else have moments, when they regress in public? For context I work behind a bar, and I'm also looking for a new security placement. But while working I always try to keep myself composed and professional. But I have had times both on and off work that I've slipped without realising. Nothing big. But it's been noticed (speech patterns, more prone to joy or sadness. E.c.t) Now, luckily my current job accepts it, (they put it down to either my b.p.d or me just being "quirky ") Same as they do my epilepsy.. but it can get worrisome when co-workers or customers say something 🤔
I’m sorry to hear you’ve had moments of regression in public. Understandably, it can be worrisome when co-workers or customers say something. It’s great that your current job accepts it and puts it down to either your BPD or you just being “quirky”, the same as they do with your epilepsy. It’s important to remember that regression is a common and temporary condition for children, and it can be a coping mechanism for stress and untreated trauma in adults. Examples of regressive behaviours include baby talk, thumb-sucking, and temper tantrums. These behaviours can be voluntary or involuntary. If you’re looking for ways to deal with regression in public, you might want to consider talking to a mental health professional who can help you return to a time in your life when you were abused or experienced trauma. From there, you can work together to heal.
 
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I'm naturally childish so get told many times to grow up that I act like a child or that I'm just stupid or so immature, then I'll throw a tantrum.
 
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Anemone said:
I'm trying to give my little side permission to express itself more in big life. It's a new process and I'm going in blind so I'm not really able to put it all into words yet. The most obvious aspect of this attitude change is that I am now viewing little slips as victories rather than failures of composure. It can be a bit scary sometimes but it's also exciting to be making a change and seeing that it can be acceptable is tremendously validating.
It’s great that you’re making progress in allowing your little side to express itself more in big life. It’s normal to feel scared when making changes, but it’s also exciting to see that it can be acceptable and validating. Keep up the excellent work!
 
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DollyDayDream said:
I'm naturally childish so get told many times to grow up that I act like a child or that I'm just stupid or so immature, then I'll throw a tantrum.
I’m sorry to hear that. It’s okay to be yourself and enjoy the things you like. Everyone has different personalities and interests. You don’t have to change your identity because someone else doesn’t understand you.
  1. Treat others as equals. Telling someone to “grow up” is very petty and disrespectful. It’s immature. If someone is arguing with you, they care enough to tell you something they’re unhappy about. Don’t throw this in their face by taking it personally. They are trying to be open and honest with you.
  2. Try to understand what they are feeling and why. Think instead of more constructive ways to get your point across.
  3. Don’t take it personally. Instead of getting angry or upset, try understanding where the other person is coming from.
  4. Be confident in who you are and what you like. You don’t have to change your identity because someone else doesn’t understand you.
Is there anything else I can help you with?
 
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Not really in proper company if you will, but on my walks i occasionally run into people. I try to see the world through a child’s eyes while on a diapered walk (splashing in puddles, watching the stars, collecting leaves, etc.) I have encountered people while running through a park or skipping, but they probably just think I'm having a good day.
Wearing a diaper definitely puts me in the childish mood though, so if a friend calls when I’m wearing one they might get a more playful and energetic version of me.
 
Though my “little side” is a big more subtle than many people describe. I’m just a bit more spontaneous honestly.
 
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SeniorMan said:
I’m sorry to hear that. It’s okay to be yourself and enjoy the things you like. Everyone has different personalities and interests. You don’t have to change your identity because someone else doesn’t understand you.
  1. Treat others as equals. Telling someone to “grow up” is very petty and disrespectful. It’s immature. If someone is arguing with you, they care enough to tell you something they’re unhappy about. Don’t throw this in their face by taking it personally. They are trying to be open and honest with you.
  2. Try to understand what they are feeling and why. Think instead of more constructive ways to get your point across.
  3. Don’t take it personally. Instead of getting angry or upset, try understanding where the other person is coming from.
  4. Be confident in who you are and what you like. You don’t have to change your identity because someone else doesn’t understand you.
Is there anything else I can help you with?
I know what your saying but if someone calls me childish and takes my colouring book of me or turns a cartoon off, it's a personal attack they will be made aware that it angers me alot x
 
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thelittlestkitten said:
Hi! I can share my experiences if you’d like - for me I work for handling food. I hand it out- I don’t want to say where I work. So in these times I would sometimes regress it depends, sometimes it happens when my bladder decides to just release itself without me. I normally end up playing around with what ever is in front of me, or I hum or I just wiggle my fingers and do a little dance that gets peoples attention and they dance along with me sometimes even tho there’s no music. No without work, I’ve definitely 💯 done it in a movie theater and in target. For the theater - I’m 4’11 for my height so I’m often mistaken for a kid so it kinda helps in this scenario. I was sitting behind a tall Man, I couldn’t see over his head. So I couldn’t move but I did know there’s “kid seats” granted I know I’m old and shouldn’t use it but I wanted to see. They have a lot to so I thought it was fine. And that had me somewhat regress during the movie but I was already regressed. Sorry if this isn’t even relevant.
When at work I will play with things, sing along to music (not a great singer but still) I've even danced with customers.. they love it and I think they just see it as a cheerful disposition.. in reality I'm 4 years old at a disco.. don't get me started on if helium balloons turn up 🤣..

It's sort of become a game as well.. I randomly change lyrics in songs.. each day a customer gives me a word and I have to somehow incorporate it into the songs playing.. one customer says its like putting 50p in the meter. She loves it
 
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