Regressing and not meeting adult needs help!

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hd7850

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Hi everyone,

I have been regressing ALOT due to stress and horrible life circumstances and mental illness. It has allowed me a sense of safety and security, no doubt. But now I feel "stuck." Indulging in my little side is becoming a major issue in moving forward. Not sure what to do but maybe the community can offer support of insights.

My most recent private therapist said I need to let go of my little side in order to maximize my recovery... Part of me agrees because I don't believe "I" can mix the two worlds and find balance. I think I will always overindulge in my little side, even at the expense of priorities. Keep in mind I suffer mental illness and when I say regressed: I don't always mean by choice. I mean it is actually becoming an issue where I lose the ability to function independently in the adult world and in reality.

After visiting a psych hospital frequently last month and bringing a bunch of diapers, a blankie, a pillow and a teddy bear: a psychiatric team at a hospital (made up of psychiatrists, psychologists, psych nurses and doctors) told me that perhaps I should go out and meet other littles and ABDLs. They told me that it is okay to use my little side as a set of skills. When a nurse interviewed me I wrapped up in my blankie and began to cry because she really touched my heart with her kindness and soft voice. She asked me why I was crying and I said I felt really little... They brought me to my bed, offered me juice and some snacks and put up the railings to form a crib. They even put a warm blankie on me!! It was so comforting!!! They kept asking my teddy bear's name but I wouldnt tell them. I joked that maybe I should throw my teddy in a box in a closet and they said no! They said if anything, just put my teddy somewhere in my room where I can grab her again when the time comes. They said to take it easy because it takes time to make a transition from regressed to more adult like state. (In terms of working through psychological arrested development).

I went to a cuddle party for the first time with two ABDL's and want to do it again. I find myself both wanting and not wanting to indulge in this lifestyle. It's as though it is a perfect short term method of stress relief but it is ineffective long term. So I may need to find an alternative and save little space for intense emotions and stress only. It is as though the more I regress by choice, the more I regress psychologically, thereby decreasing my ability to live a functional life in the adult world. :(

Can anyone relate?

Problem is I have no life at the moment. I need to find a job and get priorities met but I literally just lay in bed with my teddies and diapers and blankies. I am spending more time with my little side than my adult side and it could potentially lead to major issues like homelessness and further mental health suffering...

What do I do?

I need advice and insight.

Thanks
HD7850
 
I've pretty much failed at making the transition from child to adult. I've worked at paying jobs for only four months since finishing high school; the first was a seasonal job and the second I had for a month before I was fired for ''poor customer service.'' I don't drive and don't really have real-life friends besides my acquaintances at the YMCA. Have never dated.

In some ways, regression isn't really something I choose, it's just who I am. I watch cartoons pretty much everyday and cuddle my stuffed animals and have my pacifier at night. If I could be a baby almost 24/7 with a caregiver, I'd probably do it in a heartbeat. I guess I'd just rather live a child's life than deal with the responsibilities of the adult world. I know it's not a good attitude to take. But it seems without a decent job I can't make many inroads into adult life.
 
hd7850 said:
Hi everyone,

I have been regressing ALOT due to stress and horrible life circumstances and mental illness. It has allowed me a sense of safety and security, no doubt. But now I feel "stuck." Indulging in my little side is becoming a major issue in moving forward. Not sure what to do but maybe the community can offer support of insights.

My most recent private therapist said I need to let go of my little side in order to maximize my recovery... Part of me agrees because I don't believe "I" can mix the two worlds and find balance. I think I will always overindulge in my little side, even at the expense of priorities. Keep in mind I suffer mental illness and when I say regressed: I don't always mean by choice. I mean it is actually becoming an issue where I lose the ability to function independently in the adult world and in reality.

After visiting a psych hospital frequently last month and bringing a bunch of diapers, a blankie, a pillow and a teddy bear: a psychiatric team at a hospital (made up of psychiatrists, psychologists, psych nurses and doctors) told me that perhaps I should go out and meet other littles and ABDLs. They told me that it is okay to use my little side as a set of skills. When a nurse interviewed me I wrapped up in my blankie and began to cry because she really touched my heart with her kindness and soft voice. She asked me why I was crying and I said I felt really little... They brought me to my bed, offered me juice and some snacks and put up the railings to form a crib. They even put a warm blankie on me!! It was so comforting!!! They kept asking my teddy bear's name but I wouldnt tell them. I joked that maybe I should throw my teddy in a box in a closet and they said no! They said if anything, just put my teddy somewhere in my room where I can grab her again when the time comes. They said to take it easy because it takes time to make a transition from regressed to more adult like state. (In terms of working through psychological arrested development).

I went to a cuddle party for the first time with two ABDL's and want to do it again. I find myself both wanting and not wanting to indulge in this lifestyle. It's as though it is a perfect short term method of stress relief but it is ineffective long term. So I may need to find an alternative and save little space for intense emotions and stress only. It is as though the more I regress by choice, the more I regress psychologically, thereby decreasing my ability to live a functional life in the adult world. :(

Can anyone relate?

Problem is I have no life at the moment. I need to find a job and get priorities met but I literally just lay in bed with my teddies and diapers and blankies. I am spending more time with my little side than my adult side and it could potentially lead to major issues like homelessness and further mental health suffering...

What do I do?

I need advice and insight.

Thanks
HD7850
Click to expand...


Hi my freand.

ho boy can I relate. Personally I'd like to say that you're not alone, and you not a freak.
You are a Little, and that's a good thing.
You are probably like me you see the world through a childlike eyes full of Wonder and innocence.

Don't worry about losing your grown up side, when I have to I age up to oder teenager (A Middle.) And only if I really, really have to I can just about managed to adult for about a hour. But that is like a stretch elastic band. I will spring back into AB Little head space. Wants it has finished. So to be kind to my self if posabal I keep to being a Middle. When at work etc.
Actually I am just myself as people will accept you for who you are naturally.

You don't need to wear a T-shirt saying "be nice I'm only a Little." Actually that is something I'll probably do. but that me. What I'm saying is you don't need to come out with any big statements. Just be your self. Making friends with yourself is really important.

My advice to you is to relax and accept yourself as you are. You will still be able to get work and have a place to stay, and I hope the Cadana mental health services may be able help you with this.
I know that they can put programs together for people that are coming out of units in the UK. But it is up to the individual to engage of these things and it is the squeaky wheel that gets a oil.

Having a lifestyle of a Little is not to bad once you get used to it. Setting healthy boundaries for yourself. Will help you deal with life in general.

Social situations.
Crowded rooms and shopping malls.
Having to talk to strangers.

There are coping mechanisms your psychotherapist can help you with to help you deal with these yugie things.

A healthy diet. " not just pizzas and ice cream" humm move on quickly.

Having Enough sleep. A Little Usually sleeps more than an average adult. (Well I do anyway)

Not watching rubbish on telly or nasty films. ( this is a biggy for me once I stopped doing that it really help with with not being depressed.) Not saying that you had have the odd out of depression and anxiety. But it will help.

Its up to you what boundaries you feel you need to put into your life and your therapist can help you with this.

I also see you don't have many freands on your profile so I have put a request in for you.

We are hear for each other.

Your freand.

Sisi
 
Good Evening,
Based upon what you have wrote here, you are experiencing symptoms of "engulfment", where your "little" side is psychologically overwhelming your rational "adult self".
Very problematic.
"Engulfment" is a sign of you becoming "disconnected" from reality.
One has to be an "adult", because one has "responsibilities".
Flight from responsibilities is not good at all.
I myself have learned to keep different aspects of my life "in their place" to function in the "adult world".
I keep my Adult Baby Regression to regularly scheduled times to "recharge" my own damaged psyche.
It will take time for you to develop the psychological skills to know when and where you can be a "Little/Adult Baby".
 
I hadn't heard of engulfment but that sounds like an accurate and excellent term. I agree with Maxx and others, in that you do need some professional help. Let them handle this, but I would suggest that you take things in little steps. Each day is a new one, so try to take one step toward your goal, that of being independent and eventually achieving adulthood.
 
I am a newbie and it is interesting. I have struggled with my team with this and am at a point I can make my own decisions. To me it seems like goal setting and rewarding yourself for making those goals would be a good way to do it. like a parent that wants a kid to do something have the treat. And as you begin it may be more often and later stretch it out. And take into consideration I am a complete newbie. I have struggled with this all my life and was only found out after I got into some trouble due to my mental illness. I am starting to explore how to accept myself in this area. Hope this helps! : )
 
hd7850 said:
After visiting a psych hospital frequently last month and bringing a bunch of diapers, a blankie, a pillow and a teddy bear: a psychiatric team at a hospital (made up of psychiatrists, psychologists, psych nurses and doctors) told me that perhaps I should go out and meet other littles and ABDLs. They told me that it is okay to use my little side as a set of skills. When a nurse interviewed me I wrapped up in my blankie and began to cry because she really touched my heart with her kindness and soft voice. She asked me why I was crying and I said I felt really little... They brought me to my bed, offered me juice and some snacks and put up the railings to form a crib. They even put a warm blankie on me!! It was so comforting!!! They kept asking my teddy bear's name but I wouldnt tell them. I joked that maybe I should throw my teddy in a box in a closet and they said no! They said if anything, just put my teddy somewhere in my room where I can grab her again when the time comes. They said to take it easy because it takes time to make a transition from regressed to more adult like state. (In terms of working through psychological arrested development).

I went to a cuddle party for the first time with two ABDL's and want to do it again. I find myself both wanting and not wanting to indulge in this lifestyle. It's as though it is a perfect short term method of stress relief but it is ineffective long term. So I may need to find an alternative and save little space for intense emotions and stress only. It is as though the more I regress by choice, the more I regress psychologically, thereby decreasing my ability to live a functional life in the adult world. :(

Can anyone relate?
Click to expand...

If it means setting me up with cuddle parties with other ABDLs, I want to go to a psych ward for this too!
I have somehow managed to form a semi-adult life, although anyone who knows me well would probably say I have a very strong childlike streak. In a different setting, I could definitely see something like this happening to me too.
 
I don't think you've gotta completely get rid of your little side. You just need to gain the ability to control when you do and for how long.

I can wear diapers and do other normal things, I can be grown up when it's necessary. I don't think I regress in to the state that you do because of my overall appearance just throws everything off. Also it's hard to balance between the two because grown up life takes it's toll and becomes overwhelming and tiring.

It seems that the staff is very warm and welcoming to your situation. I think they are doing good so far. They may know what they're doing and from what you said, you're in good hands. I just don't see them completely removing your little side even if they tried.
 
KimbaStarshine said:
I've pretty much failed at making the transition from child to adult. I've worked at paying jobs for only four months since finishing high school; the first was a seasonal job and the second I had for a month before I was fired for ''poor customer service.'' I don't drive and don't really have real-life friends besides my acquaintances at the YMCA. Have never dated.

In some ways, regression isn't really something I choose, it's just who I am. I watch cartoons pretty much everyday and cuddle my stuffed animals and have my pacifier at night. If I could be a baby almost 24/7 with a caregiver, I'd probably do it in a heartbeat. I guess I'd just rather live a child's life than deal with the responsibilities of the adult world. I know it's not a good attitude to take. But it seems without a decent job I can't make many inroads into adult life.
Click to expand...

I can relate to a lot of this. I also have never dated, nor do I have a lot of friends. And I do like me some cartoons.

Where we differ is on the subject of work. I don't think one can be an ADULT little without the adult part of the equation. Being achy and tired from busting my butt at work all day is what makes playing in a hot bubble bath so much fun. Getting my inner preschooler on doesn't have much meaning unless he has to hide inside a hardworking grownup all day.
 
Have you tried Playing for at least an Hour and then Doping adult Stuff and going back to Playing. you Could also Try Wearing nappies to work Or whatever of you feel comfortable Doing so
 

In every job that must be done there is an element of fun you find the fun and snap the jobs a game - Mary Poppins.

And it true

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rTqDglhzQbw&feature=youtube_gdata_player

Being a little I see The Wonder in lots of things and the detail of a butterflies wings.

Have you ever wondered why an apple tree doesn't grow pears? It's because is an apple tree. And have you ever thought why doesn't grow grow apples in winter because it's not the season for it to have apples.

An apple tree will do what an apple tree does naturally and in it season.

And it the same for us we do what we do naturally and in our season.

An apple tree can grow apples out of season but it has to be forced to do so.

And a little can be forced to be an adult, but he or she will not be doing something that is natural to them it would cause depression in the long run. Believe me I know.

If you have to do adulting make sure your little self is rewarded at the end and try to keep the list to no more than 5 things day. 3 is better. And with each one use the first, next, then.

First we are going to.....
Next we are going to.....
Then we will have.....

Remember the job may not seem fun at the time but if there's a reward even if it is gold star on a piece of paper, I will be an element of fun.

Be good to yourself and always have fun with the game you are playing.

Sisi

Well that what I thing.

 
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