REALLY close to getting caught!

[SpAzpieSweeTot]

Yeah, I've toyed around with the idea for most of my life but have never seriously pursued it. Just recently, I was speaking with the Virginia Department for the Blind and Visually Impaired about my SSI and about getting some help in other areas like aiding me in finding programs/grants to help me with my small business (band) and while they're not sure how much they'll be able to help me there, I will be recieinvg some training in how do more things for myself. I won't hear back from the until around September, but when I do I will for sure be asking about guide dogs and training. I didn't know about "sighted guide" dogs. This sounds interesting to me as I do have some sight and try to use it as much as possible. One reason I think that I didn't seriously pursue a guide dog or more training in general is because, as a child, they wanted to teach to be completely blind and disregard my sight but I didn't want to. The lady I talked to from the VDBVI seemed very understanding about this and has tried to reassure me that, as an adult, I will now be able to work with someone who can be more flexialble and figure out what I need.

When I said sighted guide, I was thinking of a human vacation helper, who you can hire, and doesn't get paid to be a judgmental expletive, and has full sight, who could guide you around, until you get a dog.

Now, don't misunderstand what I'm saying. Just because you have enough sight that it seems like looking through 2 straws, doesn't mean you can't get a guide dog. Legally blind people with some sight get them all the time. It doesn't mean by looking into getting one, that you're taking it away from someone who really needs one. That someone is you.

Some people need guide work for things that have nothing to do with visual impairment.

Because your need for a guide dog does come from visual impairment, I'd recommend getting the guide dog training done by a program, then, if you have a diagnosed anxiety disability, just don't stop training. Add in some psychdog tasks. Training 1 dog for more than one job is cross-training, and not a lot of programs do it.

 

[gnd567]

When I said sighted guide, I was thinking of a human vacation helper, who you can hire, and doesn't get paid to be a judgmental expletive, and has full sight, who could guide you around, until you get a dog.

I've thought about it but I don't think I could afford one and even then, I guess I'm still uncharitable with the idea of them knowing about my "little" side. I don't know how they'd feel about taking me to a munch or a con or something. I guess I'm afraid that they'd still get freaked out, judge me and possibly tell somebody about it and then the eyes would be on me. Hopefully not, hopefully it's just my fear making that up.

Because your need for a guide dog does come from visual impairment, I'd recommend getting the guide dog training done by a program, then, if you have a diagnosed anxiety disability, just don't stop training. Add in some psychdog tasks. Training 1 dog for more than one job is cross-training, and not a lot of programs do it.

OK. The woman I talked to said they have a guide dog training program. When I have my meeting with her in September I think I will ask her about what I need to do get started. I haven't been officially diagnosed with an anxiety disorder, it's been years since I last visited the psychiatrist's office. My doctor left without telling anybody, but they still want me to pay for the appointments that I missed because SHE was''t there, it's not my fault. They won't let me come back. Maybe I should see about getting that diagnosed as well because it's defiantly there and it's definitely real.

I knew there were guide dogs and I knew there dogs for people with anxiety but I was unaware of cross-training. It would be a bit of an adjustment for my parents and I to make but I'm starting to think it might be what I need to do.

 

[gnd567]

The unknown is scarey sometimes. I was so afraid that my mom would look at me differently, but she didn't. There's still a little current when she sees me holding my baby doll, or a toy, but she get's over it. She just just gives me that eye, like saying, umm. She asked not to see me with my pacifier, and I can respect that. She doesn't see me in just my diaper either. I don't think the diaper would bother her that much, it's the fact that I'm in my wheelchair barefoot, she has a thing about me hurting my feet, but I never do. It's a give and take with us, but it all works out in the end.

Yes, I'm afraid they will look at me differently for some reason. I know they wouldn't want to see my with a pacifier in my mouth or in just a diaper and a t-shirt etc and I wouldn't want them to either but for some reason I fear that that even if I just did it in private, they'd still look at me differently because they know. Maybe I'm wrong, I hope I am. I wish I could find out.

 

[DannyBBaby]

ha taking about pooping your diaper, ½ the people I know have done that in there underwear. I was working with a friend of mine last year and he was working and had to fart. but he loaded up his undies and told me he be back in 20 minuets. he drove home and got some new underwear. when he got back he told me he had to toss the old one. ha . and I'm the one wearing diapers.
so you wouldn't be the first on caught with a stinky underwear.

 

[Seasonedcitizen]

Always have a plan in case of a problem. A place in the bathroom to hide plastic bags to hold a smelly diaper and a place to put it afterwards. Then you jump into the shower and get clean. People will not bother you if they hear the water.

 

[Katie2fingers]

Yes, I'm afraid they will look at me differently for some reason. I know they wouldn't want to see my with a pacifier in my mouth or in just a diaper and a t-shirt etc and I wouldn't want them to either but for some reason I fear that that even if I just did it in private, they'd still look at me differently because they know. Maybe I'm wrong, I hope I am. I wish I could find out.

It's something that you don't want to share with your parents. I get that. I would have never told my mom if I were abled-bodied, or anybody else, but I did, and it's all good.

 

[dogboy]

It's funny, but after my mom found my "stuff", we had "the talk" and then the psychiatrist. That said, I don't think they looked at me differently. They still loved me and that seemed to be enough to overcome the fact that they had a weird or different son. They also found my gay porn and I was having a psychotic break. That was a lot for both of us to deal with but we all got through it.

 

[SpAzpieSweeTot]

I've thought about it but I don't think I could afford one and even then, I guess I'm still uncharitable with the idea of them knowing about my "little" side. I don't know how they'd feel about taking me to a munch or a con or something. I guess I'm afraid that they'd still get freaked out, judge me and possibly tell somebody about it and then the eyes would be on me. Hopefully not, hopefully it's just my fear making that up. . . I knew there were guide dogs and I knew there dogs for people with anxiety but I was unaware of cross-training. It would be a bit of an adjustment for my parents and I to make but I'm starting to think it might be what I need to do.

Good news is, the vacation helpers don't work for any state agency, as far as I'm aware. They seem to be people who like to travel, and want to help. Not everyone has the, "disabled people's fuzz," number in his or her back pocket, dear.

A few programs do cross-train, but, fewer than do just one thing.

 

[gnd567]

Good news is, the vacation helpers don't work for any state agency, as far as I'm aware. They seem to be people who like to travel, and want to help. Not everyone has the, "disabled people's fuzz," number in his or her back pocket, dear.

A few programs do cross-train, but, fewer than do just one thing.

I guess my next question would be whether it would be wrong to involve someone in that? Would it be wrong to ask that person to take me to those types of an event and would I disrespecting the others at the event by bringing some along that isn’t in the scene. These events are usually private and I wouldn’t to make others feel uncomfortable.

 

[SpAzpieSweeTot]

Good point. If I were you, I'd talk to the event organizers, explaining your situation, and see if there's somebody near you who's already going, and wouldn't mind helping.

 

[gnd567]

It's something that you don't want to share with your parents. I get that. I would have never told my mom if I were abled-bodied, or anybody else, but I did, and it's all good.

It’s not so much I don’t want to share it with them. I mean, in an ideal world I probably wouldn’t want or have to tell them at all, but in my situation, I’m wondering if it’s the only way i’ll ever get to have any quality “little time.”

The hardest part for me is I’m usually very open and upfront with them about pretty much every aspect of my life, I don’t usually keep secrets from them.

This is the only real thing I’ve ever tried to keep hidden from them but even then, I haven’t even really done the best of jobs there. They’ve both found out I sleep with a teddy bear. Mom caught me with baby diapers twice when I was a kid and once with a paci, she threw them away. My dad accidentally opened a package of mine by mistake l, thinking it was something he’d ordered but instead we’re a case ABU diapers I’d ordered. When he asked if they were mine and if I was alright, all I could manage to stammer out was “yes, I’m fine” and took them to my room as quickly as I could.

That was three years ago and not a word has been spoken about it since. I can’t imagine he’s forgotten about it, but maybe?

My guess is they probably know “something” about me and diapers/baby things but they probably don’t know much as to “why” I do and I doubt either of them have heard of ABDL/littles.

 

[gnd567]

Good point. If I were you, I'd talk to the event organizers, explaining your situation, and see if there's somebody near you who's already going, and wouldn't mind helping.

I spoke briefly with the event organizer for the monthly local ABDL munch about this once in the past (maybe last year? I can’t remember) but I don’t think he believed me. He said newcomers were welcome and that if I could get a ride then I was more than welcome to come but I guess they didn’t feel safe picking up a stranger, which I guess I can understand.

Maybe I didn’t explain my situation well enough or go into enough detail with him about it back then?

I’m kinda shy and I didn’t want to come across as needy or creepy. Plus, I was feeling a bit intimidated by the situation because everyone in the online discussion seemed to know each other well.

 

[SpAzpieSweeTot]

If the first thing you do is a munch, dad could bring you, maybe. My understanding is people dress vanilla. There's usually an identifier on the table, like a plushy.

You could say, "Excuse me.Where is the monthly group that comes in?"

 

[daddyconnor]

I spoke briefly with the event organizer for the monthly local ABDL munch about this once in the past (maybe last year? I can’t remember) but I don’t think he believed me. He said newcomers were welcome and that if I could get a ride then I was more than welcome to come but I guess they didn’t feel safe picking up a stranger, which I guess I can understand.

Maybe I didn’t explain my situation well enough or go into enough detail with him about it back then?

I’m kinda shy and I didn’t want to come across as needy or creepy. Plus, I was feeling a bit intimidated by the situation because everyone in the online discussion seemed to know each other well.

Hey. The munch in RVA is very vanilla in terms of dress from our one experience. The people are super nice. If you get dropped off, it shouldn't be a problem no matter where you go. But the conversations are not vanilla friendly, but they are discrete.

I think you will enjoy going should you decide to do so. Feel free to PM me if you have questions. I'm brand new to their group, but I really think it is a fantastic group of people.

 

[LittleJ123]

I can feel your anxiety just reading this post. If there is one thing I can say looking back to when I was living with my parents and they didn't know about my little side, it's that ninety-nine percent of the time, unless they literally noticed me wearing nothing but a diaper (which never happened by the way), they were never as hyper-aware as I thought them to be in my mind. As soon as I relaxed more, and wore casually at home when I had the time, they never noticed me acting any different, and therefore never questioned me about what I did when they were gone. I even wore a diaper or pull-up around them a few times under my jeans, and they didn't even notice. The key is to remember that you're the only one who knows, and to not show that you're subconcious about it, otherwise people will notice and may say something. It comes in time though. Love your little self, and don't be so hard on yourself. When the time is right, you will have some extended time alone and then: take the opportunity.

 

[SpAzpieSweeTot]

See? Every time I do anything, it gets misconstrued, and changed somehow. I was not yelling at anyone. I was making my posts easier for the legally blind user to see, and it's what I'll continue to do to accommodate him, since we've talked about it, and he's told me it's helpful! I'm lucky you didn't take it down. Goodness forbid I make a reasonable accommodation for someone who has vision that makes it look like he's looking through a straw. Since he likes to use his limited sight, I don't consider it doing anything wrong. Anyone else? Apparently so, since the largest boldest font, which I was only using because gnd567 is legally blind, and according to him, it helps, was so offensive as to have been changed for no legitimate reason.

 

[gnd567]

See? Every time I do anything, it gets misconstrued, and changed somehow. I was not yelling at anyone. I was making my posts easier for the legally blind user to see, and it's what I'll continue to do to accommodate him, since we've talked about it, and he's told me it's helpful! I'm lucky you didn't take it down. Goodness forbid I make a reasonable accommodation for someone who has vision that makes it look like he's looking through a straw.

You did nothing wrong! I appreciate the large text size very much. It’s a heck of a lot easier to read. Thank you for being so helpful and considerate. It means a lot.

 

[SpAzpieSweeTot]

Exactly! Any time, brother. Sometimes, it's hard to believe this place used to feel like home.

 

[gnd567]

Hey. The munch in RVA is very vanilla in terms of dress from our one experience. The people are super nice. If you get dropped off, it shouldn't be a problem no matter where you go. But the conversations are not vanilla friendly, but they are discrete.

I think you will enjoy going should you decide to do so. Feel free to PM me if you have questions. I'm brand new to their group, but I really think it is a fantastic group of people.

Cool. Thanks! I’d love to go sometime.

 

[gnd567]

I can feel your anxiety just reading this post. If there is one thing I can say looking back to when I was living with my parents and they didn't know about my little side, it's that ninety-nine percent of the time, unless they literally noticed me wearing nothing but a diaper (which never happened by the way), they were never as hyper-aware as I thought them to be in my mind. As soon as I relaxed more, and wore casually at home when I had the time, they never noticed me acting any different, and therefore never questioned me about what I did when they were gone. I even wore a diaper or pull-up around them a few times under my jeans, and they didn't even notice. The key is to remember that you're the only one who knows, and to not show that you're subconcious about it, otherwise people will notice and may say something. It comes in time though. Love your little self, and don't be so hard on yourself. When the time is right, you will have some extended time alone and then: take the opportunity.

Thank you. It’s been a rough last few days but I’m feeling much better now.

I wear around them, discreetly of course, because it’s the only option I really have, but I’ve gotten better at that over the years. It’s still a little nerve wracking sometimes but I just try and stay cool.

The things I’d love to be able to do though are too risky with them around all the time. I’m glad I didn’t get caught like that but I’m disappointed that it only lasted for 30mons or so.