Questioning Girl

[luminescent81]

Hi everyone,

I’m a mid 30s female, married, but in an open relationship that’s long distance. In my free time, I’m an avid Switch gamer focusing on “cozy” games in particular. I also have kids, so a lot of my time is spent watching cartoons and doing old fun childhood activities - Lego, rock climbing, and play doh art currently. I’ve also been trying to learn Spanish on Duolingo, but making glacial progress 😅.

I have *some* interest in diaper and wetting stuff, but never had a partner willing to try it. Until now possibly.

I’m posting here to get help and support on a current relationship issue I’m having with my boyfriend. I’m not sure if he’s “into” diapers or just suffering from incontinence and doing is best to hide it bc of shame/embarrassment. He’s had one pee accident in front of me driving, close calls with bowel accidents, and I accidentally found a well hidden stash of colorful diapers once when looking for cash in his dresser.

I want to try to talk to him about it, and reassure him that it’s okay but I don’t know how to go about it in a way that’s sensitive and still let’s him keep his dignity. I’m normally a blunt and straightforward person so it’s a challenge to not just be like dude, I know you own diapers, and I know you have incontinence issues, let’s talk about it.

You guys all seem like cool people, and I enjoyed reading the extensive guidance for the intro posts. I’m not a strong writer, but hopefully the above is adequate for getting a sense of who I am and what I’m looking for here 😊

 

[Edgewater]

Consider using much your standard approach as being you is always important.
Since, there has been a peeing accident and a couple of close-calls with a bowel accident, start there stating something like: You have had an accident and a couple of very close calls. From there recommending he wears diapers to avoid such things and that you are open to going with him to buy diapers and help him with putting them on as he likely does not have any experience. This should open the door very wide.

If he pulls back, you can become very direct and state that your found his stash and recommend that the both of you get him diapered now as you do not want have to add cleaning-up, etc, etc, etc...

EnjoyBeing You!

 

[dogboy]

I agree with Edgewater. Talking about incontinence is a difficult subject to broach but really, all you can do is bring it up. Perhaps timing is the key, finding the right moment. When I told my wife that I was AB/DL, I waited until the evening and when we were relaxed and had the time to talk. She was very accepting and everything went well.

 

[BabyRobbie]

Hi, I agree with Edgewater also, be as open and truthful with him as you can. Mabey put one on in your normal daytime routine, with regular cloths. but leave the top sticking out of your trousers and wait until he notices, then have a chat with him about buying them together. I hope this strengthens you relationship with the guy, I know it would for me.

 

[Hemix]

Maybe a charming idea would be going to the place where he hid the diapers, hug him and tell him thou knowest about them and that thou'rt ok with that and even a bit interested.

 

[ianwee]

Hi everyone,

I’m a mid 30s female, married, but in an open relationship that’s long distance. In my free time, I’m an avid Switch gamer focusing on “cozy” games in particular. I also have kids, so a lot of my time is spent watching cartoons and doing old fun childhood activities - Lego, rock climbing, and play doh art currently. I’ve also been trying to learn Spanish on Duolingo, but making glacial progress 😅.

I have *some* interest in diaper and wetting stuff, but never had a partner willing to try it. Until now possibly.

I’m posting here to get help and support on a current relationship issue I’m having with my boyfriend. I’m not sure if he’s “into” diapers or just suffering from incontinence and doing is best to hide it bc of shame/embarrassment. He’s had one pee accident in front of me driving, close calls with bowel accidents, and I accidentally found a well hidden stash of colorful diapers once when looking for cash in his dresser.

I want to try to talk to him about it, and reassure him that it’s okay but I don’t know how to go about it in a way that’s sensitive and still let’s him keep his dignity. I’m normally a blunt and straightforward person so it’s a challenge to not just be like dude, I know you own diapers, and I know you have incontinence issues, let’s talk about it.

You guys all seem like cool people, and I enjoyed reading the extensive guidance for the intro posts. I’m not a strong writer, but hopefully the above is adequate for getting a sense of who I am and what I’m looking for here 😊

Hi Luminescent81.
I'm new here today, so I'm not sure my advice will be all that useful. I wonder, as you say you have 'some' interest in wetting stuff, maybe you could have a wetting 'accident' inb front of your partner, to break the ice, so to speak, and open nup a conversation with him about his incontinence or whatever his issue is.

 

[Raven801]

One of my first times dealing with ic I was renting a room from this girl ... I'll call her Jen well over time Jen and me got closer and we kinda ended out together but I was hesitant to sleep in her bed for reasons you can understand. One day we were getting ready to go to a movie and I was having a bad day so I went to my room and grabbed a diaper...as I did I noticed a note folded on top of them ...it said ...hey there sexy I didn't know how to bring this up but here it goes...I have noticed that you wear protection I've seen you struggle and run to a bathroom I have seen the panic on your face at times. I understand this is an emotional embarrassing personal condition I want you to know I don't care it makes no difference to me. If you want to talk about it I'm here for you. If not that's ok too sometimes we would rather keep certain things private and I understand that too I don't care why you wear or when.... All I ask of you is please consider this ..there is no reason to face this alone whatever the reason. Ps your sexy no matter what underwear you have on . Needless to say I read that and yeah we had a awesome talk about it ....we didn't go to a movie that night instead we cooked together and talked about things it was honestly amazing and I wish I could find someone that supportive again. Unfortunately things between us ended after 7 years. We just followed a different path no hate no malice but part of me still misses her. I though that method was very tasteful and maybe it work for you

 

[badger50]

One of my first times dealing with ic I was renting a room from this girl ... I'll call her Jen well over time Jen and me got closer and we kinda ended out together but I was hesitant to sleep in her bed for reasons you can understand. One day we were getting ready to go to a movie and I was having a bad day so I went to my room and grabbed a diaper...as I did I noticed a note folded on top of them ...it said ...hey there sexy I didn't know how to bring this up but here it goes...I have noticed that you wear protection I've seen you struggle and run to a bathroom I have seen the panic on your face at times. I understand this is an emotional embarrassing personal condition I want you to know I don't care it makes no difference to me. If you want to talk about it I'm here for you. If not that's ok too sometimes we would rather keep certain things private and I understand that too I don't care why you wear or when.... All I ask of you is please consider this ..there is no reason to face this alone whatever the reason. Ps your sexy no matter what underwear you have on . Needless to say I read that and yeah we had a awesome talk about it ....we didn't go to a movie that night instead we cooked together and talked about things it was honestly amazing and I wish I could find someone that supportive again. Unfortunately things between us ended after 7 years. We just followed a different path no hate no malice but part of me still misses her. I though that method was very tasteful and maybe it work for you

This is incredible. Amazing.

 

[Rita]

Hi luminescent81

Don't know if I can or will help, but here it goes !
It took me a very long time ( Like over a year ) before I was comfortable before to told my partner !
When I did she say that she kind of knew ,but wish I told her much sooner in our relastionship !
We been happily together of over 8 yrs ! !

 

[sbmccue]

The fact that your boyfriend has "well-hidden, colorful diapers" in his dresser is something of a clue, I think. My guess is that he's got some sort of genuine incontinence problem, but that he also has AB or DL desires or tendencies. Again, this is supposition on my part, but I think it's a sound guess because of the stash he has tucked away.

The larger question is how you feel about being with someone who is either a 'big baby' or a diaper lover. Since you're a young mother yourself, the notion of a boyfriend who may be into diapers and baby things might be rather difficult to handle. Even with your healthcare background, you may not wish to be diapering or changing an adult.

You're obviously a calm, creative and fun-loving woman. If you can find him in a calm, relaxed frame of mind, he might be open to discussing his needs. More than likely, however, you're going to have to create a situation that allows him to express them in a comfortable context or environment. Can you think of a scenario or two where you might at least try to cover some of the bases? The strategy Edgewater suggested is somewhat confrontational, but a friendly and loving approach likely won't go amiss.

Please let us know what happens.