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CPDude

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I have been looking for a mommy off and on for a while. I have had a little bit of interest but when the potential mommy's find out I am completely asexual they lose interest. I want and need to be a baby 24/7 and can not handle the thought of being sexually active with mommy. Am I wrong?
 

Trevor

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I think what you want severely limits your options. There aren't many clear-thinking, functional people who would want a big baby 24/7. You can keep looking or you can adjust your expectations to something less intensely needy.
 

BabyBobby83

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Hi there firstly when you mean 24/7 do you really mean 24/7 literally? As in not going out to work and not having any adult interactions, interests or responsibilities?

Could you potentially find someone else who is asexual and wants to play the mommy role? Yes maybe you could but they would likely still want some adult interaction out of things. Not mention that if you literally want to be treated as a baby 24/7 then they would have to support you financially which is asking an awful lot.

I really don't want to sound horrible but I don't want to be dishonest with you, you are going to really really struggle to find what your looking for if this is truly what you want.

I don't think it's a question of whether what you want is wrong or not, it's not impossible that you may find someone and if they really want the same then great. But in all honestly I don't think there will be a lot of people out there who will want the same. Yes there are women out there who really enjoy the mommy role but the majority of them will still want some kind of adult relationship as well.

Of course you could potentially find playing the mommy role to little who they are not in a relationship with that does happen, but that would not be 24/7.

To find someone who is wants to play the mommy role and support someone living as a baby 24/7 and not want any kind of adult interactions/relationship out of the deal is a huge ask.

Also I don't wish to sound mean but you are still an adult at the end of the day. Being able to regress and enjoy little space is great but you still know your an adult in reality. Why is it you need to be little 24/7 if you don't mind me asking?

I really hope I haven't sounded dismissive or horrible as that's not my intention, just wanted to be truthful with you as if this is what you have set your heart on you will struggle to find it.
 

Wombat

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I agree with Trevor and BabyBobby. This may be what you would like, but in reality you have almost zero chance of finding it unfortunately.
I'm sure that there are some women out there who would go for it, but by far the vast majority would also want to have a partner who can satisfy there adult needs as well, and I'm not just talking about sex. As an adult you/me/we/they can all enjoy our little times, but also need a partner who can offer emotional support, make clear adult decisions and function as a part of society, at least most of the time. Bills need paying, decisions need making, repairs and maintenance need too happen, shopping needs doing.

Most importantly support of each other's needs and problems need attending too. It's not just about you needing to be a baby, but also fulfilling the emotional, physical and psychological needs of your prospective partner as well.

It sounds like you need a paid nanny and not a partner. I'm not trying to sound harsh, but it comes across as a touch selfish to expect a partner to do all the work for you. But, if it's just a fantasy you're talking about, you're quite entitled to it.
 

sbmccue

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Wombat hit the nail on the head: You need a paid nanny.

Finding a receptive 24/7 mommy just isn't a realistic approach; as Wombat notes, this is the product of a fantasy mindset.

I've had various nannies or babysitters over the past 30 years; only two or three were prospective romantic partners. Most women who are willing to play the caregiver role don't want sex; they want money. I know many ABs cringe at the thought of paying someone to change their pants and 'play baby,' but that's likely the only way most will find a mommy type.

Even if you're independently wealthy and unburdened by the necessity of earning a living, there are still many reasons why a partner wouldn't want to spend all day treating you like a toddler. Boredom is a key factor, coupled with the inability to do much in the 'real world' when you're in diapers and baby clothes.

I cannot think of a single babysitting experience I've ever had that wasn't well worth the money I paid for it, and I've only had a handful for which the mommy or nanny involved did not expect to be paid. I know the truly altruistic mommy-types are out there; I've met a couple. I think you'll search and search to avoid spending money and you may still wind up with nothing to show for your effort. Your time on earth, on the other hand, is finite, and if you wish to experience this rather odd reality before you die, you should probably look for someone who's willing to spend a few hours with you in exchange for remuneration of some sort.
 

CPDude

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When I mean 24/7 I mean that I need a lot of care due to my disability and I can't be left alone long. I am willing to pay bills and such, but I am not able to work and I get SS. I can offer mommy a job caring for me where she could get paid through the agency that supports me because I have Medicaid. I wear diapers but they are provided by my insurance and a doctor's script
 
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BabyJayk

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I have been looking for a mommy off and on for a while. I have had a little bit of interest but when the potential mommy's find out I am completely asexual they lose interest. I want and need to be a baby 24/7 and can not handle the thought of being sexually active with mommy. Am I wrong?

This might be a little hard to hear but I hope it will help you.

Women have needs. They need a way to fulfill those needs, and being in a sex less relationship with an adult that wants to live as a baby all of the time isn't going to be appealing to most women.

What you are asking for is a romantic relationship. Think about what you are offering your partner. 99.9% of adult women want a sexual relationship with their partner.

So here is what you should do, imho, you can "A" find someone who is looking to take care of and support an adult as a child in every way with no sort of reciprocation for their efforts. OR you work on what you can offer them, maybe not sex, but something else.
 

CPDude

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I get 82 hours a week available for care through Medicaid at $15 an hour. That works out to $59,000+ a year. And that does not take into account that the first 40 hours would be regular time and the other 42 would be overtime at time and 1/2 an hour. So basically what I can offer mommy is a decent job caring for me.
 

siysiy

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I have been looking for a mommy off and on for a while. I have had a little bit of interest but when the potential mommy's find out I am completely asexual they lose interest. I want and need to be a baby 24/7 and can not handle the thought of being sexually active with mommy. Am I wrong?

Hi CPDude.

Finding a mommy or a daddy is not easy. My daddy started off as a freand and it tock a long time for him to become Daddy. He as been with me nice I went through my mental illness of depression.

It also tock time for me to realise I needed to be 24/7 and that took a lot of thinking about. And I hat to do a lot of talking with Daddy about it. He is happy being my daddy .

I Think it helps that we were in a non sexual relationship From the start. And he now know that I am asexual boy.

Any way being 24 7. Little is not as easy as you may think. Daddy and I shair a house now. And we share our wages to pay for things. We both check with each other what we are happy with. For example he has never changed me I would like to be changed by him which show how much I trusts him. But he is not willing to do that for me.

He has feed me a full times which was very speceal.

Choosing to be a little boy again also means accepting the consequences so now I have a bed time routine. And he make me have naps but every day. I am also not alowed to wach any films that are for 15 year olds or above and TV time is cartoons/ Disney and Children's TV. May be the news. He will say things like "come along Sisi, Daddy know best." and "well you chouise to live this way." So be shore that you wount to give some one else control over you. You may not feel as safe as you may think. And it does take some getting use to. I know that if I really did not wount to do something he would back down I hope. It just he has never put me in that situation. It come close once when he told me that I needed a hair cut and later that day we went to town and he told me that it was time to make me look like a smart little boy and have it all cut off. I think I was in shock becouse before I know it I was in a barbers shop and he was telling the barber how he wonted it. He cut it shorter that usual but it was OK and the felling of be small was kind of nice.

I still have to go out to work but I am little there as well which is another long story.

Any way what I am saying it is very hard to find someone you can trust and you have to be clear what is you want. For me it has work out and i am very happy little boy. And happy being a boy. But this is not for everyone and for most of us little time is something to look forward to and cherish.

Hope all this helps you.

Sisi
 

sbmccue

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I get 82 hours a week available for care through Medicaid at $15 an hour. That works out to $59,000+ a year. And that does not take into account that the first 40 hours would be regular time and the other 42 would be overtime at time and 1/2 an hour. So basically what I can offer mommy is a decent job caring for me.

This sounds like a wonderful proposition, until you realize that in order to be eligible to be paid by Medicaid, your 'mommy' must meet certain qualifications. Here's what we'd need to know to help you beyond this point: First, what's been the problem with the carers you've had? Second, are you just looking for an attentive, attractive carer who will put aside her adult caregiving experience and treat you like a two-year-old? Third, if that's indeed what you're seeking, how are you communicating that to the women who are prospects? Fourth, are you expecting the same woman to work 82 hours per week?
 
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BabyJayk

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I get 82 hours a week available for care through Medicaid at $15 an hour. That works out to $59,000+ a year. And that does not take into account that the first 40 hours would be regular time and the other 42 would be overtime at time and 1/2 an hour. So basically what I can offer mommy is a decent job caring for me.

Okay so you aren't looking for a relationship then? Where are you looking exactly?
 

CPDude

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The problem with my current caregivers is 2 things. 1) I don't have enough. My evening and weekend coverage is sparse and I am relying on friends to fill in the gaps and that is straining those relationships . Imagine needing a friend to change your poopy diaper?The agency that provides my care is half an hour from my house and workers don't want to travel that far. And 2) The workers I have had have tried to treat me more adult like and inexperienced aides get frustrated with all I need them to do. Bathing, dressing, diapering, feeding, transportation, cat care, meal prep, sit/stand transfers, fall prevention, food shopping etc.

What I am really looking for is someone who can move in ( I have a 4 bedroom house) cover my hours, and bring stability to my care. Not getting the stability in care I need will likely lead to a nursing home placement. Nursing home at 40 is scary but a realistic possibility .

I don't care if the woman is pretty or not physically and if she has a boyfriend, I don't care. I need someone who has a big heart and cares
 

sbmccue

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Then the central problem is (a) finding several 'mommy' types and (b) Medicaid paying them.

My guess is that you can, with some effort, find one live-in who is willing to 'baby' you in return for accommodation and decent pay. The challenge is in finding multiples of these folks ... they are pretty thin on the ground as it is, and you'll need two or three. Fortunately, as you note, you have four bedrooms!

If you had three caregivers who could split the 82 hours between them, that leaves you without coverage for 86 hours per week. Each would have to be willing to 'pony up' 29 hours in return for the room. I think that's unrealistic; I don't know if you can find anyone willing to work nearly 60 hours per week babysitting an adult.

I'm certainly not advocating that you give up hope. I do think what you're seeking is a tall order. I've found women to 'baby' me because I've been willing to have 'the conversation' with literally hundreds of women, and I imagine I'm the most successful member of the AB community in this rather peculiar respect.

If you're pretty much stuck at home, I'm not sure how you can make that happen ... and, despite advances in technology, there's no genuine substitute for being face-to-face with someone when you share something that personal, intimate ... and odd.

Sorry we can't be of more help.
 

Tyger

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I have been looking for a mommy off and on for a while. I have had a little bit of interest but when the potential mommy's find out I am completely asexual they lose interest. I want and need to be a baby 24/7 and can not handle the thought of being sexually active with mommy. Am I wrong?

Wow, I just experienced the opposite of this problem.
You will eventually find a mommy who doesn't want sexual interaction. I met one on fetlife, and we have still had fun role playing by messages, but it was strictly a mommy baby relationship, so I'm sure you would enjoy that. I don't suspect it is all that unusual, just try making a cute profile of some really cute photos of yourself and you will grab their attention.

- - - Updated - - -

As for needing it 24/7, that will be hard to find.
 

CPDude

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my care needs are so extensive that the thought of being alone long is scary. During the 89 hours a week I don't technically have paid coverage, I am asleep most of it and I have a few paid neighbors who help with middle of the night diaper changes. I go through paid neighbors often though when they realize I do need help every night
 

Tetra

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Finding good carers is always hard regardless of what their duties are,frequently people apply and take these positions so they can be "lazy".

Very few people understand it is a job you are taking care of someone,they want more time to screw around and do whatever their thing is from texting to video games they generally want to do that.

No matter what you pay,it is never enough,somehow these people want big money and very little response ability, there are exceptions to the rule but finding them is hard.

I know because I have gone through my share of people, they also do not frequently understand a shift in care,such as I am very independent and outgoing and usually working on many projects at once,so there job is very minimal and mostly supportive and preventative.

When I get sick or my pain level shoots up i need them to do things like make my meals ,do my shopping etc.. at those times I find they question there own ability and Wether this job is for them.

It is hard to find good help
 

siysiy

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Hi everyone.

I really think I am a very luck boy. Becouse I have my freand that I call Daddy to help me.
But before I was not alowed to have anybody to care for me, I'm not severely disabled enough even know I have severe dyslexia, attention deficit disorder, Mild autism And a tipe of Peter pan syndrome, or infertilism ( sorry if I don't get the spelling right) any way I would have to pay for my care my self which is about £15.00 to 20.00 perhour in the uk to do it through a care provider.

It is one of daddy's worrys what's going to happen to me if he isn't able to keep an eye on me anymore.

I think I would be OK just in a bit of a mess as times.

It would be nice to have a carer so daddy could have a break though.

Does anybody have any ideas how how I can get social services to agree that I should have a carer even if it is just a hour or two a day?

I think that they think I choose to be this way. It would be nice just to be a normal grown up. But I'm not normal I'm me.

And i am so much happer not trying to pretend to be something I'm not. Maybe one day we'll be all grown up. But Until that day I need my routines and structure around me and some one that can tell me what happening so I don't get all confused.

If any one does have any ideas on how to get care. Daddy and i would be thankfull.

And it may also help CPDude Situation.

Thanks

Sisi
 
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CPDude

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I have had staff through the agency for a while. Even going back to college I had caregivers. Lots of them. I don't remember all there names. That's why I mentioned I am liking for a mommy to stabilize the situation. I am tired of being on this treadmill of constant turnover. Some people are lazy. I mostly find that the good caregivers are experienced and mature with grown kids of their own. The lazy ones don't last a day!

I am just tired and as I get older and my disability gets worse, I find I need to be a baby more
 

sbmccue

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I'm not in your situation, and I'm grateful that my health is robust. However, I have been through the care regime with elderly relatives ... people for whom I have genuine love and respect.

Reality is sometimes hard on dreams. The reality of your situation, it seems to me, is that you will probably never find the ideal carers you dream about having. Because caring for you is a job, contracted and paid for by someone else, you've effectively lost much of your freedom of choice. That fact is responsible for the "treadmill of constant turnover" and for the fact that some of your caregivers are essentially lazy.

Thinking that a mommy-type will 'stabilize the situation' is somewhat naive, in my view. You may well find someone who is older, with children of her own, and willing to provide the care you desire, but the fact that she also has a life will continue to intervene. Even in my own life, where my nanny is absolutely terrific, I have to remind myself from time to time that she does not live to change my pants.

All of us wish you well, but it seems to me that the best way to cope with your dreams versus reality is to develop some realistic expectations. I think you can expect to find a great carer every once in a while, but the only 'stabilizing' influence is likely to be you. I know that merely adds to your burdens; the reality is that you're not likely to find anyone else who can confidently fill that role.
 

CPDude

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I understand now why so many disabled end up in nursing homes. I can't change myself, can't get up if I fall, can't cook even a simple meal, and depend on help for almost everything.

Most aides are lazy, that's why there should be a team of them working together. But there is not enough people available. I have no family to ask to help me. I don't see how I can be the stabilizing force in my life. I can't even get out of bed unaided
 
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