Question for the Caregivers

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OriginalT

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How did you Caregivers become a Caregiver in the first place? have you always felt a maternal way about friends and relationships or were you introduced to this community via a friend or significant other and just decided to stay?

Id really like to know, since it is sorta a strange thing to do. I understand how and why little's come about, but what about caregivers?

Do you think anything might have influenced your liking to take care of little's or was it a gradual things, getting used to it?

Did you find it though any other means , maybe via another community?

thanks~
 

Orange

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Okay, well I'm not really a female caretaker (seeing as you specified maternal) but I'll answer anyway.

I've always been a lil bit AB, but only to the extent that I liked wearing childish PJs and have a love of cuddling, but I've been attracted to "childishness/cuteness" in girls for forever. In 6th grade a girl in my class wore footie pjs and a pacifier to school for Halloween and I instantly developed a crush on her and spent the whole day trying to talk to her.

Fast-forward to high school and my first long term relationship was with an ABDL girl, but she was looking for a "daddy" instead of a fellow little. There were a few times where we engaged our little sides together, like making a blanket fort while in our footie pjs, but 95% of the time she was the little and I was the big. The biggest reason is probably that she had literally zero ambition to be a big and I didn't much care either way. Another reason was that she was far deeper into it than I was. She wore diapers every friggin' night (She was able to convince her parents that she couldn't help wetting the bed but I'm about 80% sure that she just didn't want to give up wearing), had a bazillion stuffed animals that she liked to play house with, if nobody else was around she'd suck her thumb during movies, etc. At that point in my life I was nowhere near ready to go that deep into the ABDL rabbit hole myself, but being able to help someone else do it was almost lifechanging. I've been taking care of others my entire life, and unlike a lot of ropeplay I've tried, I didn't have to think about it or change my natural reaction-- falling into the "daddy" role felt perfectly natural.

Since then my own little side has developed a lot more, but with my girlfriend is still the little 70% of the time. She's not really a "mommy" type, but if I am engaging my little side we fall quite naturally into a little brother/older sister dynamic.

Put it this way: I learned to play bass because when my friends were starting a band, I was the only one who really didn't care which instrument I played. I became a caregiver in a pretty much identical fashion.
 

KimbaFoxNatsume

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She wore diapers every friggin' night (She was able to convince her parents that she couldn't help wetting the bed but I'm about 80% sure that she just didn't want to give up wearing), had a bazillion stuffed animals that she liked to play house with, if nobody else was around she'd suck her thumb during movies, etc.

I'm not a caregiver or even attracted to females but this sounds so damn adorable, ugh.
 

BillCipher

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I believe me becoming a caregiver in the ABDL community came to be through a multitude of factors, one factor being that I was born a natural leader. This trait lead to me being able to easily and successfully care for others, whether it was in groups or one-on-one. It's come to me so effortlessly, and I'm not just good at it, I like it too. Since it's something I find genuinely enjoyable, I try to do it as much as possible, and the more I do it the more important it becomes to me.

I think another factor that lead to it was the household I grew up in. I was forced to be my own parent at an inappropriate age. This prolonged neglect lead to me feeling the automatic need to care for others who wanted or needed it since caring for others was all I knew when I was younger. I was taught it was what made me worthy. It's a mindset I adapted to to survive, and this mindset has stuck with me since then.

I'm certain my current partner unknowingly encouraged me to become active in the ABDL community. They age regress but they are not active in the community, they mostly keep it private. The more time I spent caring for them in private the more I became curious about why I enjoyed it so much. I also began wondering if there happened to be other people who were like my partner and I. After conducting some simple research I discovered the ABDL community. I figured a lot of things out about myself, about my interest in caregiving, and about the community as a whole, and finding out that there was a lot of people who had the same interests as I, had similar ABDL related struggles, and were willing to talk about it openly made me feel a lot better.
 

siysiy

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Hi

For Isaac and me it started with a freand ship.

As we are both Littles. Isaac is more of an AB Little where I am more pre school Little. So the role of being a big brother seem right for both of us.

Being responsible for someone is wonderful. Have that amount of trust give to you that they are will to let go of being an adult for a while.

I found that I also start to relax as the most inpotant person is Baby Issac.

And the other adult responsibly are put to the back for the time we are together.

The role of a caregiver is something that needs to be thought through and talked through with the Little as each person is different and will have different likes and dislikes.

And taking on the role of being a caregiver is not for everyone.

Hope that helps you

Siysiy


- - - Updated - - -


Hi

For Isaac and me it started with a freand ship.

As we are both Littles. Isaac is more of an AB Little where I am more pre school Little. So the role of being a big brother seem right for both of us.

Being responsible for someone is wonderful. Have that amount of trust give to you that they are will to let go of being an adult for a while.

I found that I also start to relax as the most inpotant person is Baby Issac.

And the other adult responsibly are put to the back for the time we are together.

The role of a caregiver is something that needs to be thought through and talked through with the Little as each person is different and will have different likes and dislikes.

And taking on the role of being a caregiver is not for everyone.

Hope that helps you

Siysiy
 

Leilana

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Discovering my AB/little side took me a long time, but the caregiver part of me was always there and it always felt natural, even when I didn't yet have a name for it. I remember liking it, when people of my age acted like younger kids/babies, fantasizing about taking care of them, making up whole stories. I always thought guys being excited about toys, sleeping with a stuffed animal, looking guilty, etc. were the cutest things ever. At this point in my life, I have a group of friends around me that I am very maternal to, even though most of them are not from this community (as far as I know). But I guess I have a way of making guys act a certain way (not forcing anyone!) and they seem to enjoy that there is someone they can go to with a boo-boo who will comfort them instead of telling them they should men up and stop being cry babies. I guess even for non AB/little people it is nice to be cuddled and taken care of from time to time. :)
But I never took care of an AB, just little one, and I cannot tell you if I would feel comfortable with it or not. I think I would be fine if it started slowly, but I am not sure.
Do you have any doubts about your caregiver side?
 

AustinTheLionhearted

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Although I am not a caretaker per se, I wish to be in a symbiotic relationship with a female little where the roles are combined. I am a little through and through and proud to be a toddler lion cub, however I feel that being in such a relationship where when one person needs it, the other becomes the big temporarily in order to fulfill that requirement and both be littles during play time is a good thing for both the caretaker and the little. As Moo has told me from his experience, being in this kind of a relationship allows you to be both at the same time (the little and the big) and be the best of both worlds. That way the caretaker and the little can switch roles at times and have the experiences of both...
 

Orange

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I'm not a caregiver or even attracted to females but this sounds so damn adorable, ugh.

Haha, it was. It was really surreal to watch her interact with her parents while diapered and in her footies and have nobody but me bat an eyelid, or to have her Mom pull me aside at Thanksgiving and thank me for being so understanding about everything. When we would go snowboarding she'd wear the entire time so she wouldn't have to take bathroom breaks. She had a pajama drawer that was made up almost entirely of childish nightgowns and footies (the exception being a pair of PJ pants she had to make for Home Economics) by the midpoint of our relationship and almost died of happiness whenever I'd buy pull-ups to wear under her one of her "fairy princess" dresses or Bambinos for her to wear when her parents were gone. In short, there was ten times more ABDL stuff than I ever expected to find in a relationship and that side of it was fucking great.

There was a reason we were together for almost two years, but in the end the part of her that allowed her to get away having her parents buy her diapers that she probably didn't need is also the part that made her increasingly hard to deal with and ultimately ended the relationship. She wanted to wear diapers, so she at the very least exaggerated a minor bedwetting problem so her parents would let her. She hated gym class, so she had anemia and hypoglycemia, and so she got excused from it. She preferred to stay inside, watch tv and play video games so she had a grass and sun allergy. Etc. And I'm only mentioning maybe a third of her "diagnoses". Her parents were constantly taking her to the doctor and the doctors weren't able to validate any of these but her parents took her side every time-- I got to know them really well over time and ended up feeling really bad for them.

As awesome as it was from an ABDL standpoint I wouldn't go back, she's doesn't care who or how she has to manipulate people to get the attention she craves and the treatment she thinks she deserves. There's a lot of well-deserved content out there explaining how a dominant partner can take advantage of their position as caregiver in the relationship or take it too far, becoming manipulative or abusive and making the relationship unhealthy, but I think it's a good idea for people to remember the opposite is true too.
 

CookieMonstah

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In mine and my girlfriend's relationship I am the daddy dom so, most of the time I look after her even though all my life I've wanted to be babied.
 

KimbaFoxNatsume

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Haha, it was. It was really surreal to watch her interact with her parents while diapered and in her footies and have nobody but me bat an eyelid, or to have her Mom pull me aside at Thanksgiving and thank me for being so understanding about everything. When we would go snowboarding she'd wear the entire time so she wouldn't have to take bathroom breaks. She had a pajama drawer that was made up almost entirely of childish nightgowns and footies (the exception being a pair of PJ pants she had to make for Home Economics) by the midpoint of our relationship and almost died of happiness whenever I'd buy pull-ups to wear under her one of her "fairy princess" dresses or Bambinos for her to wear when her parents were gone. In short, there was ten times more ABDL stuff than I ever expected to find in a relationship and that side of it was fucking great.
I suppose I'm lucky that I can get away with so much with my parents. My dad is in the dark about most of it (and I'm keeping it that way), but stuff like footie pajamas is alright, and he does know I use pacifiers and suck my thumb. I opened up to my mom about the diapers almost four months ago now, and... the pack of Palace Pets Pull-Ups in the shopping cart at Walmart today shows she doesn't mind.
 

Starfox

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She hated gym class, so she had anemia and hypoglycemia, and so she got excused from it. She preferred to stay inside, watch tv and play video games so she had a grass and sun allergy. Etc. And I'm only mentioning maybe a third of her "diagnoses". Her parents were constantly taking her to the doctor and the doctors weren't able to validate any of these but her parents took her side every time-- I got to know them really well over time and ended up feeling really bad for them.
Sounds like she was the only child and was spoiled rotten. If she had siblings they'd have ratted her out, and doubt the parents would go to the length they did for her.

--sf
 

Orange

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I suppose I'm lucky that I can get away with so much with my parents. My dad is in the dark about most of it (and I'm keeping it that way), but stuff like footie pajamas is alright, and he does know I use pacifiers and suck my thumb. I opened up to my mom about the diapers almost four months ago now, and... the pack of Palace Pets Pull-Ups in the shopping cart at Walmart today shows she doesn't mind.

Don't get me wrong, I've never had any problem with her being able to wear around her parents or even act little around them, it's just the way she went about it that bothered me. Or more than that, what bothered me was it was her default way of getting what she wanted, and that she seemed blind to the consequences of her actions. If she was able to get to the same point of acceptance without all the manipulation, or even if her manipulation was just confined to faking the odd wet night so her parents would let her wear, I'd have been a lot more okay with it.

Like as an example, both you and her seem to be in roughly similar situations regarding what kind of AB stuff you can get away with around your parents (Pacifier notwithstanding), but your ability to wear diapers and footies around them (or at least your Mom) is not the result of a multi-year deception campaign. You opened up to your Mom about it, which is brave as hell and something I respect immensely. My ex went about it a different way. In fact, I remember her fuming at a doctor for implying her wetting maybe wasn't entirely unintentional after all her tests were negative.

Here's what I mean: a while after we started dating her parents thought she was wearing too much during the day, (remember, they thought it was a medical problem) so they told her that they'd prefer if she didn't put on her diapers before a certain time... like 8 or 9 iirc. Her bedtime was 11:30 so it was pretty reasonable IMO. Her response was to "fall asleep" on a couch or a chair and terrorize the furniture until they relented. When they did, she bragged to me that she had got her parents to take back their rule and she could wear whenever she wanted again, expecting me to tell her good job, meanwhile her parents scheduled another round of urologist's appointments because they thought her "incontinence" was creeping into the daytime.

She'd always complain about how awful her parents were to her, but the truth is they were great and cared a lot about her. I've seen plenty of awful parents and that they were not. I'm almost 100% sure if she had had an honest conversation with them about how much diapers meant to her they would have let her wear, though I very much doubt they would have paid for her habit like they did.

It's not that her parents couldn't afford the doctor's appointments, she was pretty wealthy-- grew up with a nanny, maid, olympic-sized in-ground pool and everything, but the fact that she would put her parents through all that just so she could engage her AB side more often was pretty shitty of her. And then as the relationship progressed she started pulling the same kinda shit with me. I put up with it for longer than I should too, but she was first girlfriend and all the AB stuff was too tempting. I was sure I'd never find another girl who was even willing do try ABDL stuff, let alone one who liked it as much as she did.

Sounds like she was the only child and was spoiled rotten. If she had siblings they'd have ratted her out, and doubt the parents would go to the length they did for her.

--sf

Called it.
 

sbmccue

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I'm not a caregiver, but I'm a lifelong AB and have had 15 'babysitters' as an adult.

My current 'nanny' is the most maternal woman I've ever met. One day, after we'd known each other about a year, I just sat her down and asked: "Do you think you can change a wet adult diaper?"

That question sparked a lengthy discussion which, in many ways, continues more than two years later. She'd never heard of infantilism, but she embraced my AB side with open arms ... literally!

I've since learned that nothing bothers her - she handles dirty diapers, spit-up and wetting 'accidents' without much comment. She does her best to treat me as a two-year-old, which is as much as I could ask.

She's my 'last' babysitter (I'm getting older, and I made that promise to myself when I decided to 'pop the question') and she's become exceptionally adept at caring for me.

I do pay her quite well for her time; I give her a check each month and I never have to worry about whether she'll want to care for me.
 
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What a great thread, read with a lot of interest. Orange, your ex sounds like a brat, if I met her she would be put in her place!

This community has so many varieties that I am constantly consumed by how many different stories are out there. Mine is maybe not so interesting but it has its place I guess. I am a caregiver, I am a mommy and I am a Domme on the BDSM scene in London. My favourite role is playing Mommy for little ones, it is so much fun,very fulfilling and rewarding. Seeing those happy faces as I approach with a kind smile and loving gesture never gets old. The euphoria I can command by giving and taking away. The discipline that may need to be dealt to educate but never in anger. I love it all.

It started some time ago, over ten years ago in fact. Knowing that kink was important to me from my early adolescence it was inevitable that I would find myself engaged with fetishists and the like. One little fact that sometimes raises eyebrows is that I started out as a DL way back in my teens. Was never much of an AB but always found diapers very sensual and exciting. I would think about having a caregiver look after me but something about the fantasy never seemed quite right and I never pursued it. It was not until I started playing with a woman who shared some kinks that the penny dropped. From this relationship my dominant side exploded into what it is today.

This relationship saw both of us have some kinky fun in diapers but the more my dominant side grew the more I used diapers as a humiliation and as a control device. I lost the 'need' to use diapers myself and started to see them as part of my tool set during playtime. This relationship faded out over time and we grew apart, but the experience always stayed with me. Moving on to today I now exclusively play the role of a dominant without exception. I have grown powerful in some quarters and garner respect from the littles I interact with. I am very versatile and can give care in many ways. There is a lot of love inside me and sharing it with my community feels me with glee and satisfaction.

So thank you to all you littles for allowing me to express my inner most love in the most wonderful ways!
 
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