purging

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daria7483

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I've written on here a bit about how I am not really that into diapers/being an AB anymore, don't have much interest in wearing and when I do I usually get sick of it after a few minutes. I started dating a new guy about four months ago, and I really don't want to tell him since I was thinking about giving it up anyway. And there have been a couple of close calls.

So a couple of weeks ago, I asked my friend who lives near me and is a DL if he would be willing to take my stuff for me for six months. I told him he was welcome to use it all he wanted, and he could use up all the disposables, but if in six months I wanted my cloth diapers/plastic pants and my bottle and sippy cup back he would give it to me. If I didn't want them back after six months then they were his. Actually, quite a bit of my stuff actually belonged to another friend who gave it to me once he quit wearing. So it's been passed around a bit.

I kind of forgot about it after asking my friend, but today I didn't have anything to do in the afternoon and called him up and asked if I could bring it over. So I pulled the dusty old storage container out from under the bed and stuffed everything into a plastic trash bag except for my Hokie bird pacifier, which I decided to keep for old times sake. I went through my drawers and threw in a few other things, and tossed in my baby powder. I meant to save one diaper just for the heck of it but didn't bother cause I didn't want to try to hide it. Later on, when I gave it to my friend, he asked me if I felt sentimental when I gathered it up. Nope, I told him. No reason to get sentimental. Things change.

Anyway, I'll let you all know in six months whether I decide to get it all back. I don't think I will. This has been a long time coming.
 

Dawes

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I think that this is a phase that a lot of people go through. I think it's important to take stock, though, in how important it is to your life and what kind of role it plays in who you are.

If this is something you're looking to eliminate from your life, Daria, then good luck, and I hope that it works the best for you! At the same time, it's important to remember that these desires are likely deep-seated somewhere in our psyche because of a whole bunch of different things. Because they're often so deep-seated and inexplicable, they can be mistakenly identified as something large in our lives, when in truth, they're just small, tiny parts of who you are. I guess what I'm suggesting you ask yourself is this:

Is this part of your life so big that it even requires purging? Or is it something you can dump aside for a few months, not care, and come back to it when the time and opportunity allows, and when you get the urge? I know it's something that I've thought of trying to eliminate... but I look back at it and realize that, well, there's really not much to eliminate. In my case, why would I waste a lot of time and effort to get rid of something that a) doesn't do me any physical, social, or emotional harm, and b) doesn't really play any effect in any aspect of my life?

Like you said, things change, and if this is just a passing fancy that you've "grown" out of, then that's awesome! :) Just remember it with fondness as you move onto other interests of comfort and security in your life!

The other thing: Does this purge of which you speak involve leaving ADISC behind? If so, I might need to punch your noggin a few times. ;)

Be safe!
 
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Well daria, if you really believe it's time to give it up, then I can't do much but wish you the best of luck with everything!

I would like for you to consider though that this is a purge, so your feelings toward it will obviously be blasé and heavily focused on rejecting the urge to participate in this fetish. That's very normal and works just like any other emotional development that occurs within you as you grow up and learn more about yourself. You've got to take the good with the bad and learn to understand, control and differentiate these feelings you have about this fetish.

You may not be interested in it now, but maybe in the future, for old times sake, you wish to revisit it and as a result you feel like getting back into it. It may be hard to accept if you have totally rejected this part of yourself. It'd feel like taking a step back, which isn't a very good feeling at all. It may feel like your accomplishment of leaving this fetish is all for nothing, much in the same way a drug-junkie relapses after rehab. I'm not going to force you into staying, but I will urge you not to let it go entirely.

With that said, it is a part of who you are. Whether it's an emotional, physical and/or mental/psychological thing, it has defined a part of you for however long you've been in this fetish for. Don't be so haste to leave it all and turn your back on it just because you're in a purge right now. I've been in this fetish long enough to witness countless tales of people who have tried but can't get rid of or ignore these feelings... they try but the gravity surrounding it is just too strong.

Like I said, I'm not going to push you in a certain direction in this matter, but I will give you my strong recommendation not to give it up entirely. In time, these feelings of disinterest will pass and I say with only somewhat marked confidence that you'll get back into it sometime in the future.

Nevertheless, best of luck in your future pursuits! And please do stick around here. Even if you aren't into it any more, that doesn't stop you from being a good member here. :)
 
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Darkfinn

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Hrm... well... I do hope you enjoy your newfound freedom from all things diaper. We'll just have to wait and see whether the want comes back or not.
 
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Secret

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Well I feel what you mean, it will be hard to get rid of it from your life most likely.
Anyway good luck on everything else in life and I only wish the best of luck to you on your quest to give this stuff up. I hope you succed and good luck!
 

spacemanBEN

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Best of luck to you. I hope this works out for you. I know I would not be capable of giving this stuff up at least at this point in my life. It is a part of me and a part of myself that I'm finally starting to accept. Besides this, I don't see the harm in it for the most part. I can certainly understand the feelings of wanting to give it up as I have had these often, and if you feel capable of doing so, good for you. In any case, I hope you find your newfound freedom enjoyable and hope you stick around here at least a little.
 

ayanna

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Good luck with the new bf Daria....it seems to me you have your priorities straight...bf/relationship first and foremost...diapers a far distant second.

I'm afraid that, having come into this as an adult and never having had the 'urge' (or even the thought) to wear diapers prior to being introduced to infantilism some 7-1/2 years ago, I can't really empathise with those who think that diapers are the be-all-and-end-all of existence as we know it, and who feel that anyone who stops wearing them for whatever reason is "just going through a phase".

Life is too precious to allow oneself to be tied down to diapers & pacifiers.

Again, good luck with the new fellow!
 

Trevor

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It seems to me like your approach is quite reasonable, daria. I've made a lot of posts reassuring people that their desire for diapers is okay and they should do what makes them happy if they aren't hurting themselves or others, and I think this is pretty much the same thing. This isn't going to hurt anyone, so do what makes you happy. ;)
 
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daria7483

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I guess what I'm suggesting you ask yourself is this:

Is this part of your life so big that it even requires purging? Or is it something you can dump aside for a few months, not care, and come back to it when the time and opportunity allows, and when you get the urge?
That's what I've been doing for the past 3 years. But now that I'm in this relationship with a guy who's not AB aware, I honestly would rather get rid of the stuff and the risk that he finds it, then tell him I'm an AB or hope he never finds out. And since I wear so seldom anyway, I figure I won't miss it much. In any case, that's why I have the six month waiting period, so I can always get them back if needed. And this isn't to say I wouldn't still wear if I went to, say, an adisc meeting :)

The other thing: Does this purge of which you speak involve leaving ADISC behind? If so, I might need to punch your noggin a few times. ;)
Never! But you guys may have noticed I'm not posting as much as I used to, and that's probably going to continue. That's partly because I'm hanging out with the new boyfriend several nights a week, and when he's around I don't visit adisc. But it's also because of my increasing disinterest in AB activities. I wouldn't stop coming here because I enjoy the dialog, but I don't have a lot of interest these days in the "what kind of diapers should I buy" types of threads.
 
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I can't really empathise with those who think that diapers are the be-all-and-end-all of existence as we know it, and who feel that anyone who stops wearing them for whatever reason is "just going through a phase".
I don't believe it to such extremes, am I'm definitely not one of those types myself. But I've spoken with a lot of people in this fetish, and the majority of the time it is just a phase. I was in one myself. I really didn't want anything to do with this fetish, but at the same time I couldn't exactly let it go either. People sometimes just slip off the deep-end and just need a break from the whole thing, hence a phase.

Then again, I'm the type to believe that this fetish can play heavily into your feelings and emotions, citing a lot of people who claim that they have this fetish for "emotional reasons". Letting something go of this calibre can be quite hard. Sure, if it were just a hobby or just something you do for fun in your spare time, then I could easily understand how someone would just up-and-leave it.

It's definitely not a be-all, end-all either. I still think this fetish should be kept behind closed doors and practised in privacy, or with other willing and accepting participants. If you lose it, then find something else to fill that void of time it's left. However, I haven't really spoken to anyone who just wears diapers for the hell of it., so I can't really say much else on that.

I will agree with you though. Diapers and this fetish should always come in behind much more important things, like strong relationships, personal happiness & achievement and growth & development. If too much focus is spent on diapers, you'll probably turn out like one of those creepy people who practically live 24/7 ABDL, wearing baby outfits out in public and such and just generally making a fool of yourself.
 
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I've gone through the binge and purge cycles since I started buying them when I was 9. Many times I've stopped for periods of time because of the shame and sometimes I've even thought, what am I doing? No matter what though I always went back and I know the feelings will never go away. If the beginning of your fetish was caused by something negative or a number of negative events happening then I recommend grieving that as I've been doing which has been both rough and enlightening. For me the fetish started when I was two. I liked wearing diapers and was finally toilet trained at five. The offense that occurred was obviously toilet training. I was traumatized by having my comfort blanket at the time which were diapers and pullups taken away. I repressed those thoughts at a young age because I figured I had to be a big boy then in my thinking. It just reappeared later and that's how my fetish started. But if you can let it go just like that then that's great if that's what you want. But if you are still carrying emotional baggage with the fetish, it's best to grieve and get past it.
 

ion.blue

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I know many of us have a purge story to tell - and not success stories either. But I'm not going to tell mine. Instead, I wish you all the best in life and your relationship. :thumbsup::smile:
 
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