problem as a girlfriend

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didee2

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my boyfriend is an AB, and when he told me about it I was ok with it although I thought it was a bit weird. After a while I agreed to do play along with it and treat baby him to see if I'd get used to it. It's been a month and I can see how happy it makes him, but it's too weird to have sex with him when I see him acting like this. He's said that he'll give it up if I want him too, but he looks really unhappy when he says and I know how it makes him feel. Is there any way for me to get rid of my feelings so we can both be happy?
 

Tyger

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I can understand why that experience would still weird you out. I guess there are a few things to say.
First, him being a little doesn't have to always be about sex, often for most of us it is a way to de-stress, and to let a very real personality that your boyfriend has controll over, but may more or less understand its depth of existence, surface to be able to express itself. When he says that he will give it up, I am sure he honestly intends to be capable of doing so, but the likelihood of him being able to do it is not high. Imagine how you would feel if your personality was destined to stay trapped and un-expressed, it would be beyond hard.
Now just because he has the personality of a baby inside him, doesn't mean there is no adult in him. Being able to let the baby feel free, allows his adult side to gain back some controll in his life, as his inner child has stopped needing to nagg him for attention(figuratively). You have notice that he has been much happier as you have let him express himself, cuddos to you for being so awesome. Now you need to make some agreements with him that you get to have his adult around every so often too. You can always just have sex with him as he is an adult, but remember that sometimes having sex with him as he is his little self will be good for him, since his adult self still has bleed-over into his little personality, which is unavoidable, and will also help him feel like you have accepted his little side. Him knowing that you like, and not just tolerate, his little side will make your relationship so much better. This all likely started for him way befor puberty and then when puberty hit, it naturally became sexual, just remember that if you engage him sexually when he is a little, that it is really the adult you are still interacting with, this will not make either of you turn into pedo's.
If I were you, I would read a book that explains all of this in great detail, called "there's a baby in my bed" available on amazon. Im almost done with reading it, and it made me understand myself so much better.
 

Nick1982

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My wife felt the exact same way as you when I first told her, but now for the most part, she's ok with it. He shouldn't have to give it up, but you shouldn't feel forced into role play either. You both need to compromise and find a happy medium. I can give you my wife's email if you would like to chat about it, she may be able to give you some tips that might help!
 

Chance

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I'm not going to mince words with you. Let him know about this and then try to brainstorm a decisions together. As a previous poster said, have sex with him when hes not acting like a baby if it makes you feel uncomfortable (it's okay that would make anyone uncomfortable). I think this might work but it would have downsides too. Anyway my point being talk to him and do what makes you feel comfortable you don't even have to partake in his fetish the simple knowledge that you accept this part of him should be enough.

Well that's my two-cents for this thread.

- Chance
 

baby2birl

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I'm not going to mince words with you. Let him know about this and then try to brainstorm a decisions together. As a previous poster said, have sex with him when hes not acting like a baby if it makes you feel uncomfortable (it's okay that would make anyone uncomfortable). I think this might work but it would have downsides too. Anyway my point being talk to him and do what makes you feel comfortable you don't even have to partake in his fetish the simple knowledge that you accept this part of him should be enough.

Well that's my two-cents for this thread.

- Chance
I agree with this completely I am AB and while I enjoy great sex in adult mode. My wife accepts I have a baby side and that is me on my own she does not get involved with it and I wouldn't ask her too. I would say though that i would accept gladly if she offered but no happy enough on my own. The most my wife does is sign for packages arriving by post for me. Never asked what these are as long as I don't let baby me take over completely I am ok.. best of luck you should find a way through just talk and voice your feelings and let him know how far you are prepared to go or not go. Good luck :)
 
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NicoD

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I agree with what has been said above. For me it is the same. My girlfriend is okay with me wearing them, seeing them, but it is very much part of my life and not hers. Of course in a way I would love her to be more involved, change me, wear them herself and share these DL-feelings, but that simply isn't the case and I want to in no way make her feel obliged to do so.

So I keep my DL very separate and it is in no way part of our sex-life. It is not a matter of me "giving it up", because I can still have DL as part of my lifestyle, but I do keep it at bay it won't seep into our love-life in any way, and so for both of us it is a matter of dealing with it. So I wouldn't ask him to give it up if the both of you would be fine with it being his thing that you know of, and tolerate, but are no part of.

Edit: and just to add, there is so much more than the DL in a relationship, so don't let it rule your relationship. Giving up might be too much to ask, but when you are in a good relationship, you love almost everything about each other, and you tolerate the rest ;) I know it is a big, and probably not very common thing though.
 
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TheSpecterPrincess

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my boyfriend is an AB, and when he told me about it I was ok with it although I thought it was a bit weird. After a while I agreed to do play along with it and treat baby him to see if I'd get used to it. It's been a month and I can see how happy it makes him, but it's too weird to have sex with him when I see him acting like this. He's said that he'll give it up if I want him too, but he looks really unhappy when he says and I know how it makes him feel. Is there any way for me to get rid of my feelings so we can both be happy?


1. Don't change your feelings only to make others happy, because you're entitled to your own opinion.

2.Don't make him give it up. If you love him for who he is, you'll accept this side of him. Also, he's an adult and his opinion matters just as much as yours does.

How about this. Have sex first (without the diapers) and then afterward when you're both naked and stuff volunteer to diaper him and baby him. If you decide to have sex a second time just slowly re adjust back over into adult mode, disrobe of diaper, repeat process, re-diaper him, go to sleep. This could be a way to still keep it very adult, and it will allow you to work your way into it instead of jumping straight from the role play into sex.

Oh, and another thing. You should confront yourself one day and ask yourself why you think it's weird. Is it because it's just something you've never seen before ? Does it scare you ? Do you have the potential to enjoy doing it if you were the baby ? The more we ask ourselves questions, the more answers we have to support why we do or don't do the various things in our life.
 

Tyger

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Oh, and another thing. You should confront yourself one day and ask yourself why you think it's weird. Is it because it's just something you've never seen before ? Does it scare you ? Do you have the potential to enjoy doing it if you were the baby ? The more we ask ourselves questions, the more answers we have to support why we do or don't do the various things in our life.

I agree, even though I am coming from an AB point of view, and we aren't saying that you shouldn't be weirded out, but it is worth asking some questions to yourself. Such as 'why is wanting to revert back to babyhood weird? Well my answer for that in my own mind would be, because I was taught that we are supposed to grow up and mature, because adults don't wear diapers, and watch children's movies, and play with blocks and such. To me that just sounds like a band wagon statement, where everyone jumps off the cliff because bob said it was cool. If you actually observe culture you will see more people actually have a small desire to be "little". How many times have you heard things like, "dang, kids have it so easy" or "geeze, that baby has it great, all he has to do is eat, sleep, and poop." also the increase of love for kids movies, like productions from pixar, or shows like phineas and Ferb that get followings from average people. My feelings on the question about why ab/dl'sm is weird is because popularity made it so, not actual logic. Infantilism doesn't hurt anybody, including self, and if kept under controll can be a heathy means to remove stress. In my opinion, being able to accept ones individuality is a true sign of maturity, rather than trying to live a dream lifestyle that tv depicts.
And after all that said, I'm not saying that you should participate in his fantasy, but I do think if you start asking the right questions, you will be able to see why it isn't really that weird that this kind of emotion would build up in a person, just ask yourself this question, "why would my boyfriend want to live the lifestyle of a child/toddler/baby, or even, why would I?" I think you will come to see why it is nice to have a place to escape the world.
 

DONeill73

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It is probably not very healthy emotionally or sexually, if "baby" wants to have sex with "mommy". Not a good idea at all.

If he has a DL side to him, then thats where sexual excitement can be played. But I think as long as he is in baby mode, its best to keep anything sexual, including making out out of the picture. If he has a switch that is turned on when he is diapered, and pretty much becomes "baby" really quick, then being diapered while being intimate is not the answer.
 
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TheSpecterPrincess

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It is probably not very healthy emotionally or sexually, if "baby" wants to have sex with "mommy". Not a good idea at all.

Maybe not right off the bat when you're trying to introduce somebody new, but honestly I don't really see a problem with it. It's basically just a game of pretend. It's not like it has anything to do with incest or real children. Just two adults playing pretend. That's all it is.

And Tyger, you get +1 Rep points for having a really insightful post.
 

Tyger

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Maybe not right off the bat when you're trying to introduce somebody new, but honestly I don't really see a problem with it. It's basically just a game of pretend. It's not like it has anything to do with incest or real children. Just two adults playing pretend. That's all it is.

And Tyger, you get +1 Rep points for having a really insightful post.

Thanks.
And again I agree with you, at first it probably isn't a good idea to make it sexual when introducing it to somebody, but after a while it shouldn't be a problem, it is still an adult that is having sex. Part of the infantilist is reacting out of a fetish impulse that developed after puberty and denying that it exists is almost as hard to deal with as denying that the little exists. It's like telling a guy to stop feeling turned on by a girl in a bikini. Mostly it should just be kept under controll, it will always be there.
The sexual activity is just a type of role play. That actually helps the ab/dl probably feel more submissive, trusting, and loving of their partner, which I would imagine would make the sexual activity more special.


Honestly though, if you want help trying spell out how you will manage this situation, I highly recommend that book I mentioned, the author goes over this kind of predicament.
 

ozbub

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It's all good, naturally your going to take time to get used to what must seem pretty weird, but if you love him it'll be ok. I do think he owes you a bit of his adult self...especially in bed sometimes, after all, that's what you believed you were getting into. But hey, the baby is a big part of the guy you fell in love with, and seriously, It ain't goin away. heaps of luck!
 

didee2

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i think it's just weird seeing him like that. I don't want him to give it up because it makes him so happy so i am reading everything on the internet about it but i think i have read almost anything do you have anymore advice
 

DONeill73

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Maybe not right off the bat when you're trying to introduce somebody new, but honestly I don't really see a problem with it. It's basically just a game of pretend. It's not like it has anything to do with incest or real children. Just two adults playing pretend. That's all it is.

I dont necessarily know about that. To some its not always roleplay. It wasnt for my ex-wife. When she went into her ab-mode, she was really there. Ive heard many ab's do their regression, because of a bad childhood. They want to replace the old with better, and more pleasent memories. My ex wife was doing the exact same thing I mentioned. While in bed she would be saying, "oh daddy" in her comments about how nice the ....ahem, moment was. So, with that, I dont know if its really all that good of an idea. But, to some extent, your right, for some its just playing around and a game.
 

Luckyfish

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Hi Didee2 as a DL without the AB aspect, i would like to defend your stance here.

My wife allows me to enjoy the diapers but will not partake with it during love making or even sight.

However the fact that i am able to even enjoy wearing them around her under my clothes, as weird as that is does it for me, so i feel you are bending over backwards here to accommodate him.
Your feelings are yours to experience and they probably wont change overnight or anytime soon, or creep you out any less during sexy time, and he needs to discard the diaper during intimate time due to your personal association with the diaper.

Im afraid you are going to have to tell him straight, as my wife told me.
Its the best medicine and i have total respect for her opinion/feeling and so should he.

He is your man, not a baby and he needs to respect your emotional turn off to the baby thing for a sexual turn-on as its only natural, due to you being a woman and its in you to want a partner that can protect you and hunt, like the cavemen did.
Its a primal instinct that remains within the human psyche today.

Let him enjoy baby time and regressing etc, in private or when you don't plan on sex etc....
In the bedroom when you want you man, i thinks its only fair he acts like one, since you cannot change your feelings.
The best thing to do is to allow him to keep the AB thing and give him privacy or a time to do it, in such a way that you can both remain happy.
 

didee2

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I think everyone may be misunderstanding what I said. He never tries to have sex while wearing diapers or being a baby, I just think it's weird having sex with someone after all that stuff happened. He always keeps sex and his AB side apart and never asks for sex in them.
 
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TheSpecterPrincess

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Once again you need to ask yourself "why" you feel that way. Why would you not want to have sex with him ? Why does it make a difference ?

It shouldn't. If you had sex with him beforehand and he's been wearing diapers longer than before he told you, how is it not the same thing ?


And I'm not trying to be mean. The last thing I'd want to do is throw a fellow Ab/Dl under the bus, but if you can't have sex with him just because he is who he is, then maybe you don't need to be dating each other.
 

BabyKaylaBear

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I can understand where you are coming from. I am a girl irl, and I was with a man who is an AB and sissy (likes to be treated as a girl) for almost 2 years. I am an AB myself, but I don't get into it very much irl at all. When I was with my boyfriend, he was extremely needy. He would tell me he didn't need that much baby time, but I would find him talking online to people who were treating him like a baby all the time. It made me feel very bad.

For your situation, This is a very difficult situation, and no one can tell you what is the right choice. I can offer my opinion. The AB scene can be a bit much for anyone to deal with. What you are going to have to decide is do you love him enough to share this aspect with him? Perhaps you can set limits to when he can be a baby and when you would rather have him as your man. The most important thing, no matter what you decide, is to be open and honest with each other. It is important that neither of you hide how you truly feel, if you hide it now, it will only get worse in the future. I have experienced this first hand and I don't want anyone else to go through it.

Best Wishes!
 

misscrissy78

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Thats one of the things that bothers me. Even though I am his girlfriend and I willingly participate in his life style, He still uses the internet alot reading stories and stuff. It makes me feel like I am not enough. Like if he meets someone else that can keep him in his baby state for longer amounts of time or who is willing to do things I wont, he would leave me. It just seems its more upsetting to him what I dont do then appreciating what I do.
 
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