practice what I tell others

lilshelly

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Ok so I need a dose of my own medicine. I tell people it is not a big deal to wear diapers but I am not following my own advice at this time and need help. My situation as you all probably know is mobility due to Cerebral Palsy.
That in and of itself should a good enough reason to wear. It however it is fairly recent that I gave in and started wearing on a regular basis. I am fine with my friends and family knowing but for some reason when it comes to co workers that is some how a different story. I found myself having to go to the bathroom at work which is something I don't do very often but I had no choice. I did get out of my soiled diaper but didn't bring supplies with me to change into something new. I should have because it made for a very long ride home after work. I don't know exactly how to answer for taking my diaper bag in the bathroom to change? like I said I am okay everywhere else out in public but work. Thanks for your help.
 

cobweb

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Is there a way you can wear and change without your co workers knowing? Yes you shouldn't be ashamed but at least now is it possible you can just be discreet about it?
 

Rob110

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I know its easier said then done some times but try not to stress about people at work finding out you need to wear diapers, most people understand medical needs and its less embarrassing to be seen changing a used diaper then to have to clean up if not protected. Diapers are part of our daily lives now when we deal with IC issues I try to be discreet as possible but there are times that it’s just not possible and you have to change at the wrong time. Acceptance to the fact that you have no choice but to wear 24/7 in situation makes a lot of difference how you handle your self when you need to change at an unopertune and you will find most people will just go about thier business and prob wont even notice you changing in a stall.
 

mickdl

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When my IC started had the same problem. For me it was not a problem to take a pad or a diaper in the bathroom but to dump the wet ones. From a friend if've got the hint to talk with our spokesman for handicapped employees and he enforced that we got waste bins in the stalls of the men's toilets. Of cause some colleagues mentioned that I'm IC and in the beginning I felt really vulnerable and weird about that. How ever, I never experienced any discrimination from them. I think it might depend hardly on your team and where you work but at last in my case nothing bad happens and in retrospective I can say the biggest problem was my own mindset and my fear in the beginning.
 

Slomo

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Work was my last hurdle as well. I believe that's because we try so hard to maintain a professional and competent reputation while at work, and of couse diapers can ruin that reputation. Right? Well it turns out no.

When it became necessary to tell my boss about my incontinence issues and numerous surgeries, he was extremely understanding and if anything wanted to know if there was anything he could do to help me in any way. My dynamic with my boss and work has not change in the least since then either. Except now I dodon't have to worry so much about being found out and disgraced. Though of cours I still keep my diapers low key while at work.

As for your diaper bag and supplies. Yeah you absitely need to keep some extra diapers (and pants) close at hand. I find leaving them in my car is best. Why does it have to be an actual diaper bag though? A briefcase or laptop bag works just as good. And so what if you take it with you into the bathroom. You're unlikely to get grilled over doing that for any reason. And even if the question does come up, just say it's for personal reasons and you'd rather not get into it.
 

lilshelly

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I think I got a little bit from each of you. I work at a big box retailer and it don't have a family bathroom it only has one bathroom at the back of the building. That is part of the reason that I wear. As much as I walk the store and move around you would think that going to the bathroom wouldn't be such a big deal but it is. I guess that is where I am afraid that people wouldn't understand my wearing diapers because to them I get around okay.
I try to change during my lunch hour which I will leave the store most of the time but there are times when I don't need to change at that point.
At this point I don't see a need for any special accommodations although all they would have to do is put a trash can in the handicapped stall. I would probably have to go through hoops to get that done. I had to apply to get a chair to sit in when they decided that it was not needed in my work area anymore. (there were people abusing the privilege of the chair). Managers didn't want to show favorites).
My bag that I carry is not a diaper bag it is an adult backpack like you might use for hiking or camping. My little side on the rare occasions that it comes out is when I am at home.

I am lucky to be working where I do at this point and just don't want to do anything to change that. I am respected for who I am and what I do. It probably is a mindset issue but yeah. It was kinda like going to the doctor and telling him I needed them and now that is not a big deal.
 

PCBaby

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If you haven't already done so, talk to either your employers or to the human resource department, they are obviously aware of your disability and they have to make suitable and adequate facilities for you. I'm totally bladder incontinent due to spinal and nerve damage and am also starting to experience the odd bowel problem. If I go out of the house, I carry a small backpack with everything I need for several changes, cleanups, including rubbish bags for wet or soiled items as well as cream, ziplock bags, wet wipes etc. You shouldn't be nervous about taking your changing bag anywhere, you need it, if anyone says anything about it, either tell them to mind their own business or report them to management.
 

Dinotopian2002

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Hi lilshelly

It’s okay. Like yourself, I have times when I should take some of my own good advice. I know I can sound like I’m totally cool with my bladder issues and I’m happy to rock it out in my diapers, but it’s not that simple. Even now I still find it awkward that I’ve had to wear padding since I was 17 due to nerve damage. So there’s not much I can do about it.

With regards to work, it’s best to speak to your boss or your head of HR. You shouldn’t feel guilty about wearing diapers to work if they’re for a medical issue - think of it as a practical solution to a bladder issue, nothing more.

If it’s any consolation, at least you’d only have to do this once, however awkward it feels. I work self-employed, but if I do any contract work or attend a seminar, I have to disclose my diaper needs each time. It was a little awkward at first when I was 21, but I’m used to it now. At least it gives then prior notice and they may be able to help you make it easier to manage by giving you a space to change. A problem shared is a problem halved.

Breathe Deep, Seek Peace
Dinotopian2002
 

PCBaby

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Same here, my fiancee and I often local gigs that require an overnight stay in a hotel. I always speak to the manager, explain the situation and that i will provide waterproof bed pads etc and all they have to do is pick up the used (just wet) nappies that will be pre-bagged for them.
 

lilshelly

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Hi lilshelly

It’s okay. Like yourself, I have times when I should take some of my own good advice. I know I can sound like I’m totally cool with my bladder issues and I’m happy to rock it out in my diapers, but it’s not that simple. Even now I still find it awkward that I’ve had to wear padding since I was 17 due to nerve damage. So there’s not much I can do about it.

With regards to work, it’s best to speak to your boss or your head of HR. You shouldn’t feel guilty about wearing diapers to work if they’re for a medical issue - think of it as a practical solution to a bladder issue, nothing more.

If it’s any consolation, at least you’d only have to do this once, however awkward it feels. I work self-employed, but if I do any contract work or attend a seminar, I have to disclose my diaper needs each time. It was a little awkward at first when I was 21, but I’m used to it now. At least it gives then prior notice and they may be able to help you make it easier to manage by giving you a space to change. A problem shared is a problem halved.

Breathe Deep, Seek Peace
Dinotopian2002[/QUOT

I guess I still have issues even though things have gotten easier for me to accept my situation. You see I know at some point I am not going to be able to get around on my own without some kind of aide either a walker or a wheel chair. I had talked to my future husband and family about things and they said diapers would be good for me. My husband to be is afraid that I will fall trying to make it to the bathroom when I am at work or out somewhere.
In regards to work I am afraid to say anything because it is just one more strike against me. I had to ask for a chair to use from time to time during my shift which I do use when I am at my desk. I don't seem like the one that would need to be in diapers. I walk the store all day long. If I don't walk the store my legs bother me.
I guess that is also part of things for me. I almost feel like I am letting my disability win. I have fought for 37 years since being diagnosed with cerebral palsy and I am not sure how much fight I have left in me.
 

trysexiea

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Ok so I need a dose of my own medicine. I tell people it is not a big deal to wear diapers but I am not following my own advice at this time and need help. My situation as you all probably know is mobility due to Cerebral Palsy.
That in and of itself should a good enough reason to wear. It however it is fairly recent that I gave in and started wearing on a regular basis. I am fine with my friends and family knowing but for some reason when it comes to co workers that is some how a different story. I found myself having to go to the bathroom at work which is something I don't do very often but I had no choice. I did get out of my soiled diaper but didn't bring supplies with me to change into something new. I should have because it made for a very long ride home after work. I don't know exactly how to answer for taking my diaper bag in the bathroom to change? like I said I am okay everywhere else out in public but work. Thanks for your help.

I guess you have a handbag, and that the toilet has garbage, so I do not see any problem. :)
 

trysexiea

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I just have to get over the idea of people at work finding out.

Do you currently wear it during work if I understand correctly? So the thing that scares you is that it's discovered, when you change, on the principle that only women could know, I guess the toilets are not mixed. after on the principle I do not see what it will change if someone discovers it, the last news is not forbidden to wear diapers. I guess your co-workers are not kids (I know this is often asked, but I guess on their identity cards they are adult) xD
 

lilshelly

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Yeah all true I do wear to work and I do use the women's bathroom which for them a diaper is not a big deal.. The title of the thread Practice What I Preach. Just a reminder to myself that I need to follow the idea that it isn't that big of a deal. Which is what I find myself telling others on here. It was also a way to let people know that I am human and I understand their fears of being in certain places and having to deal with diapers. This is still new to me. I went from only wearing at home or when I was out around people I didn't know to okay now this is the way it is and I am not going to be able to hide it from people. My fiancee and family made me realize it made life easier on me and encouraged me to take the steps to wear almost all the time with the exception of being at home.
 

Slomo

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To paraphrase. "The only way to truly understand something is to teach it to others."

That is, you can say something many times over and still not believe it yourself. Only when you have to convince others do you truly begin to speak from your own personal belief. And only then do you truly believe what you are teaching.
 

trysexiea

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To paraphrase. "The only way to truly understand something is to teach it to others."

That is, you can say something many times over and still not believe it yourself. Only when you have to convince others do you truly begin to speak from your own personal belief. And only then do you truly believe what you are teaching.

personally if I give advice to someone is that I apply it on me even otherwise it does not make sense :)
 

PCBaby

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Yeah all true I do wear to work and I do use the women's bathroom which for them a diaper is not a big deal.. The title of the thread Practice What I Preach. Just a reminder to myself that I need to follow the idea that it isn't that big of a deal. Which is what I find myself telling others on here. It was also a way to let people know that I am human and I understand their fears of being in certain places and having to deal with diapers. This is still new to me. I went from only wearing at home or when I was out around people I didn't know to okay now this is the way it is and I am not going to be able to hide it from people. My fiancee and family made me realize it made life easier on me and encouraged me to take the steps to wear almost all the time with the exception of being at home.

Having to come to the knowledge or understanding that you have a continence problem can be a life-changing event, it was for me and caused a lot of depression and anxiety at the time, one of the reasons I became an AB was to help me cope with the feelings it brought back, but once you work through that and accept the fact that it is like taking a pill for a headache it isn't too bad, it's good you have a supportive family and fiancee.
 

srmousse

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You mentioned that you do not want one more strike against you... Here in the US, it is illegal for your employer to discriminate against you on the basis of medical issues. You honestly don't even have to disclose your medical conditions to your employer and it is illegal for them to ask. Sometimes, it is useful to disclose a medical condition, simply for the sake of requesting accommodations. If they were to discriminate against you due to the fact that you told or they found out about your IC, it would make for a very easy lawsuit. Being a big box store, they know all about this and I guarantee they will go out of their way to accommodate you!

So, as you know but are trying to convince yourself, don't worry! Tell them if there is a need to do so, otherwise, just don't stress out about it!
 

babyjoey1

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I know the work thing can be an issue, what I do is I carry an adult backpack which is my diaper bag, so many people wear backpacks these days no one thinks anything of it. I also carry some small plastic bags (like the shopping bags you get at the grocery store) in my backpack so if trash cans are not readily available I can place my diaper in the plastic bag and put it back in my backpack until I find a trash can. this serves 2 functions 1) it prevents the diaper from smelling or getting anything wet and 2) when I throw into a trash can no one knows what I tossed into the trash can.
 

winterheart01

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I know the work thing can be an issue, what I do is I carry an adult backpack which is my diaper bag, so many people wear backpacks these days no one thinks anything of it. I also carry some small plastic bags (like the shopping bags you get at the grocery store) in my backpack so if trash cans are not readily available I can place my diaper in the plastic bag and put it back in my backpack until I find a trash can. this serves 2 functions 1) it prevents the diaper from smelling or getting anything wet and 2) when I throw into a trash can no one knows what I tossed into the trash can.
Doesn't any of your colleagues ask why you always take your backpack to the restroom? Happened to me a couple of times in different companies, having to pass 40 ppl before you are in the restroom is unfortunately attracting many eyes ( in my case)
 
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