Post-LittleSpace Depression?

paddedcowboy

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As a DL I am very familiar with binge and purge cycles and am quite confident in my ability to council other DLs who are going through this struggle. That being said, I have a close friend who is AB and I observed how her mood would change right after she returns from little space and I assumed that it was just purging. One day this came up in conversation between us and she expressed that every time she returns from little space she experiences extreme depression. She explained that when this happens she doesn't have feelings of self-disgust or shame like you would expect in a typical purge, but instead just extreme depression. She expressed that there was a point in her life where she decided to quit ABDL because of this. She expressed that although she really loves being little, she can't handle the lows.

Is there anyone here that can help me understand what might be going on? Is this common for ABs? If so, how do you remedy it? Is there anything I can do to help her? (It's worth noting that we are currently working to build a consistent DDLG relationship)

I absolutely love seeing my baby girl in littlespace and I can tell it's truly a part of her that belongs. I feel so helpless not knowing how to help or advise her. I'm the one that re-introduced ABDL back in to her life and I can't cope with seeing her struggle like this. Please advise!
 

Corgz

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Hi, @paddedcowboy. Being both an AB/DL I can somewhat relate to this. Personally, entering little space allows me to express certain aspects of my personality and release deeply "locked" emotions. The experience can be very relieving but the post effect can be intimidating because once your psyche returns to "normal" you are again left unable to access this part of your brain. It can be frustrating and I have been left feeling very disturbed that my personality can be so "split". Integrating my little side into my normal self has been essential into reducing these disturbing feelings of depression and self hate surrounding ABDL. This is a very abstract situation and there is no cookie cutter solution but if your friend wishes to heal her depression surrounding this then I'd recommend digging into what these feelings of depression are telling her, if her situation is similar to mine then perhaps reconciling her little side and her big side into one would be the optimal cure for her situation. In other words accepting that this is in fact a part of her and not viewing it as a sort of altered state. Hopefully that made some sense, but the idea of self is very complicated on its own disregarding ABDL thrown in.
 

paddedcowboy

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Hi, @paddedcowboy. Being both an AB/DL I can somewhat relate to this. Personally, entering little space allows me to express certain aspects of my personality and release deeply "locked" emotions. The experience can be very relieving but the post effect can be intimidating because once your psyche returns to "normal" you are again left unable to access this part of your brain. It can be frustrating and I have been left feeling very disturbed that my personality can be so "split". Integrating my little side into my normal self has been essential into reducing these disturbing feelings of depression and self hate surrounding ABDL. This is a very abstract situation and there is no cookie cutter solution but if your friend wishes to heal her depression surrounding this then I'd recommend digging into what these feelings of depression are telling her, if her situation is similar to mine then perhaps reconciling her little side and her big side into one would be the optimal cure for her situation. In other words accepting that this is in fact a part of her and not viewing it as a sort of altered state. Hopefully that made some sense, but the idea of self is very complicated on its own disregarding ABDL thrown in.
Corgz, thanks for the response. I can definitely see see what you mean here. I agree that seeing ABDL as a part of who you are is crucial. The odd thing, it doesn't seem to be a problem of self acceptance for her from what I've observed. She related the depression to how she feels when she stops an antidepressant cold turkey. Naturally negative feelings and thoughts can lead to depression... but I don't think that's what's happening here. She falls in to depression at the drop of a hat when she comes back from being little. I'm hoping others here can chime in. I gotta help her figure this out.
 

Poofybutt

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Hmmm.... that is an interesting situation 🤔

From the sound of things, it seems similar to a purge insofar as these feelings of post little time depression have caused her to consider giving up on being an AB/Little. It is unlike a purge, however, because based on what you have said, she hasn't jettisoned any diapers or little items or anything like that.

As someone who identifies primarily as an AB, I have never had a binge-purge moment, I have had some post little time depression myself and maybe a tinge of shame early on, but over time, I have accepted completely this side of myself. Therein could be the problem on your Little's part; a lack of self-acceptance.

I think a bit of post little time depression is quite normal, I too get a bit finicky and upset when I have to "adult". When I return to the adult world after being immersed in diapers, rompers, pacis, bottles and stuffies for a while, I feel really down because the fun times are over and it is back to the grind. Of course, I adapt to adult time just fine and I even enjoy myself as a big-boy too, but nothing compares to being little and comfy and cared for :) That being said, my bouts of post little time depression or anxiety isn't met with me wanting to quit being a AB/little, that seems mighty counter-intuitive. Look at it this way, why would she want to give up something that makes her happy in the moment? Even if her adult life was a bit hectic, I would then think that the joy and happiness she gets from being a Little would mitigate that, so why would she want to ditch something that obviously provides balance and relief? This sounds like beginners remorse to me, the only answer/cause I can think of is that she hasn't fully come to terms with her AB/Little side.

Self-acceptance is something that takes time, even I had moments in the past where I was a tad bit embarrassed by my desire and interest in becoming a baby again, but the more I indulged, the more I realized that being an AB was a part of who I am, it is a part of my normal, it is a fun, innocent and soothing thing:giggle: Finding people who understood, online and in real life and being lucky enough to have had some wonderful Mommies in my life also aided in my self-acceptance :)

My advice; be there for her and be supportive, maybe have some heart to hearts to get to the bottom of what might be causing these feelings. If it is self-acceptance related, the only remedy is time and encouragement. The more she regresses and has little time, the more she'll come to accept it not just as a pastime, but as a part of who she is. If she needs to take a break from little time and process things on her own, let her. Being an understanding individual, a DL and I take it a caregiver yourself, you can help her along in the journey of self-acceptance too just by being as supportive, encouraging and understanding as you can be 😄

I hope this helps :)
 
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stareegirl

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Most people describe little space as light, care free, happy and fun. It's the perception of a child.
Coming back to normal headspace would be a change in perception and mood suddenly the world is more stressful, less fun and generally depressing by comparison. That's not to say that adult life isn't enjoyable.
It's possible she had trouble balancing the drastic shift and it's normal to be kinda depressed when coming down from little space.
That kinda depression doesn't sound normal maybe you should talk to her.
 

PapaBear001

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Everyone experences the return effect differently. I think we know why this happens but we need to discuss the best way to deal with the resulting state of mind. I believe the deeper the regression, the more aggressive the returning effect.
 

lilshelly

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Now I am not sure what to think. The more I hear about little space the more I want to be submersed into Little world. But I can't do it. 😕 I think it would do me really good for me as I suffer from depression. I guess I need to go and get some help to deal with this.
 

dogboy

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I'll experience depression if I leave little space because of a "happy ending". Psychologists and Psychiatrists used to use regression as a part of some therapy, so there may be more to little space than just going into it and out. There's a reason we find a need to regress, wearing diapers, etc. Leaving little space may create the opposite feeling that regression creates.
 

paddedcowboy

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I'll experience depression if I leave little space because of a "happy ending". Psychologists and Psychiatrists used to use regression as a part of some therapy, so there may be more to little space than just going into it and out. There's a reason we find a need to regress, wearing diapers, etc. Leaving little space may create the opposite feeling that regression creates.
Hmm, that makes sense. I'd say it's a solid theory. Could it be possible that she isn't staying in little space long enough? Help me understand this... is there a way to gracefully leave little space... a certain point where you are ready to be big again? Or does this differ from person to person? Because when she abandons little space because of an interruption it seems to have the same effect on her. Another question, how long can you stay in little space before slipping out of it or feeling resistance, or is that such a thing?
 

paddedcowboy

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I was hoping someone could provide me an answer to the last question I asked 😔. Maybe i'm wrongly assuming... but I thought it would be easy for most ABs out there to answer. I'm just trying to better understand how true little space works.
 

DanielW

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I was hoping someone could provide me an answer to the last question I asked 😔. Maybe i'm wrongly assuming... but I thought it would be easy for most ABs out there to answer. I'm just trying to better understand how true little space works.
I think people regress or drop into littlspace for different reasons. Some also tend to regress further than others too. I don't regress often, but when I do it tends to be an intense experience, both going in and coming out. It might be closer to "sub drop" as it's sometimes referred to in BDSM circles. https://submissiveguide.com/safety/articles/sub-drops-emotional-side

For some its a lighter more playful thing they can switch into and out of with relative ease. For me, its really hard to "change gears" and I tend to feel blue for a while afterwards...also some shame and guilt...being that vulnerable is hard for some people too.
 

dogboy

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Yeah, I'm still thinking about this. It does pose a very interesting question. Deep regression should have a lot of psychological implications. It may be like dabbling with hypnosis. If you do it often enough, it may leave its own impressions on the subconscious.
 

Difraxie

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Hmm, that makes sense. I'd say it's a solid theory. Could it be possible that she isn't staying in little space long enough?
If that's the theory I think you best start with really short periods being in little space. See if the depths of the depressions are less when the little space is less deep and shorter. If that's so, maybe you can try keeping them as short as possible and then increase the frequency. Letting her get used to the feeling of comming out of little space. When that's going better, slowly increase the time and depth of the little space.

What you can also try to find out what she has in little space that she misses when she comes out. Focus on feelings, stuff like feeling more secure of less stressed. Then see if you can integrate those things in normal life somehow. So she doesn't have to miss it when she comes out.

Of course I'm no expert and what works for one doesn't have to work for someone else. But maybe these are thinks you can experiment with.

Other tactic is to just plan little space for once in a while where you have plenty of time to catch her when she goes in to a depression afterwords. Really supporting her and caring for her in that time. It might not be a solution to get rid of it, but a way of dealing with it, so little space is still worth it for her.

I wish you both the best, this must be a difficult situation for the both of you.
 

DanielW

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Seriously, this kind of thing needs aftercare. It isn't a time-related issue. Its the need to process the emotion it brings up. It doesn't matter if the regression lasts 5 minutes, or 5 hours...just be supportive after, find out what she needs, talk about the feelings (f she want to talk - it may be hard immediately afterwards)
 

sbmccue

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As usual, Poofy has the better of the argument: Returning from little space is like reentering the earth's atmosphere, with all the attendant fire and heat that accompany the end of a space voyage. It's just tough to escape (as thoroughly as many ABs escape) and then reenter the world without feeling disjointed, dislocated or downright depressed.

In my experience, the sort of 'aftercare' Daniel W mentioned is invaluable. Just having my nanny cuddle me at the end of a session helps, but I find that I have far fewer 'reentry issues' if she helps me clean up, get dressed and so on. Since I have a lot of AB clothing, furniture and toys, it's also very calming for me if she helps me put everything away and tidy up before she goes.

Dogboy talked about a 'happy ending,' which I certainly understand has a place. However, an orgasm will, in and of itself, almost always precipitate a 'crash' out of little space and into full-on adulting. The crash doesn't last very long, but it can be very unsettling.

I think the answer, for the OP and his LG, lies in understanding 'reentry' and the aftercare needs of a regressive adult. They are, as Daniel W points out, just as time-sensitive and keenly felt as the regressive need which motivated the trip to little space in the first place.
 
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Difraxie

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I do agree that aftercare is always a good idea. But by the sounds of it the depression afterwards are more intense than a regular drop and I know from experience that aftercare is not always enough to prevent such. What is helpful is not to be on your own when you have to deal with such a depression. Though I must say my experience with severe depressive feeling following up activities are with BDSM related activities (sub-drop) and others, not as much with AB.
Being sencitive to depressions are probably an influence to getting such feelings afterwards as well.
 

paddedcowboy

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It sounds like there probably isn't a cureall answer to this. Like most rewarding things in life I guess this is just something i'm gonna have to work through with her on. Responses in this thread have really given me some ideas. In fact...

Just the other day I was able to guide her in to little space and I threw in some minor triggers that usually stray her out of little space. As usual she started to leave little space but I was able to keep control of the situation and redirect her mind back to little space.

Usually this is late at night because of how our schedules match up and so usually when I go to bed is when she leaves little space. She seems to have a difficult time staying in little space without a daddy there. This time I guided her out of little space as gradually as I could well before I went to sleep. That way Icould be there for her for about an hour before falling asleep. This seemed to make a significant difference.

I really think i'm headed in the right direction here. Thanks guys!
 

PapaBear001

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I am glad you are making progress. Just, please be careful. Most of us are not doctors. Although we have good intensions, a support group might not be able to point out other problems that could be there. Hope things continue to get better. 😊
 

Slomo

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I believe that just like with diapers and the binge-purge cycle, an ab can fall to the same sort of cycle. I'd ask if your friend is able to experience being little often enough. Going too long in between "sessions" can lead to those same sort violent swings from a happy baby to a depressed adult. The same with being able to enter and stay in little space a little too deeply. For this I'd suggest your friend try and experience a more integrated adult-baby mind space. Something half and half adult and baby at the same time. Maybe that could be like playing with legos while staying in an adult mindset (like trying to build a geometric lego shape, or a building with an intricate pattern). I've also been know to enjoy my alcohol in a baby bottle, or play kids games on hard mode. Whatever you can do to "intricate" those two opposing sides into one could but eliminate any returning depression.
 
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